- "downy? it's snuggly soft." "poor guy" Added August 14, 2002
<zompist> i think random can decide by herself.
<Maus> By herself, and with the aid of these various
<random> what am i deciding here?
<tieboy> if you want to gang-bang a bunch of pimply
- It's like Bambi, only with rimming. Added September 13, 2001
<hockeyfag> I look away for afew minutes and come
back in the middle of a polar bear fetish convo? what the hell
- cicero de bergerac, the famous lover with the elongated ampersand Added August 1, 2002
<mdxi> and '/' is a virgule (or a solidus or a slash or
a stroke or a diagonal or a separatrix). except that a virgule is
actually a comma sometimes.
<mdxi> and that divot in your lip (the one under the
/columnus nasii/) is the "philtrum"
<mdxi> and the cap on the end of a shoelace is an aglet
<mdxi> anyting else i can help with?
*** SIGNOFF: random (Quit: homelessssssssss)
<zompist> see, you're scaring the girls off again
<agent_orange> shit, he's scaring me off again
<agent_orange> Hey, Spock! Put a sock in it, aight?
- "MAAAAAAAA! I'M A SENATOR NOW!" Added July 25, 2002
<Maus> I WISH! Heh. No. This is my pie-in-the-sky
dream job. I wanna be a Senator.
<agent_orange> or masturbating
<agent_orange> or both
<Maus> "Would the honorable gentleman from Montana
please explain SR 321?" "Gimme 15 seconds... *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*"
- Closed course! Do not try! Added July 25, 2002
<Leth> he'll be like the Hockey Robin Hood, giving
the sporting goods away to underpriviledged kids
<Leth> "Um, 'scuse me, thanks and all, but this
helmet smells funny"
<agent_orange> "Who wants the bobsled? Bobsled? ...I
got a fly rod! Who wants the fly rod?
- "He's still alive, fuckwad." Added June 21, 2002
- "Mother always told me there's nothing crasser than a jam-stained cunt." Added June 17, 2002
- Surely, Goodman Livingston would commit no such wickedness. Added June 4, 2002
- I see space.com is at the forefront of opening frickin windows technology Added April 29, 2002
- Can someone stop saying "self-insertion"? Added April 2, 2002
- "I'll outlive you all and shit where I please!" Added November 8, 2001
- Often, cocksucking decisions are made within and outside of the cocksucking organization Added November 7, 2001
- * Leth will work as QA Added September 21, 2001
- Christ-A-Roni, the Treat that Died for your Sins Added September 21, 2001
- "Where do you want to be in 10 minutes?" Added September 21, 2001
- Just for the nut tingling. Added September 21, 2001
- through a system of *tiny* *classified* *ads*, and stroking your genitals Added September 19, 2001
- "I always wanted to hear Oscar pop out of the trash can and go, 'MotherFUCKer!' " Added September 10, 2001
- And lo, did spinn return, and proclaim "dang" upon the masses. Added September 10, 2001
- "Are you there, God? It's me, Ronald." Added September 10, 2001
- I think the squirrels are in league with the Freemasons Added September 10, 2001
- well, now we know: agt spits, not swallows Added September 10, 2001
- "Yoummmph nmmmph is Cempphmilwmmph..." Added September 6, 2001
- Even the bitchy French people gave you a statue. Added September 6, 2001
- "tumescent cotto salami of manhood" Added September 6, 2001
- *wife is threated with violence, possible journey
to our planet's moon*
<spinn> damn, you people are imprssive.
<spinn> let's all quit and write sitcoms
- cream of wheat is the work of the devil
*** Signoff: KemloCaesar (This is getting tedious.)
<rJak> We should have thought of that long ago.
- Don't start by mentioning the fellatio contest.
<zompist> how much vodka would we have to pour for
the fellatio contest to include ben's mom?
- Kevin Meany as the wicked witch of the east
<spinn> oh OH that's IT. I'm REALLLLY gonna STICK IT
TO HER now. OH WHAT would be good? What would be good? Oh I KNOW
POPPIES. EVERYBODY loves POPPIES. This is EASILY THE BEST IDEA I've
EVER HAD, the poppies.
- It's like Russian Roulette, with your anus.
B><Samwise> We used to call that GBL
<Samwise> Gambled But Lost
<TMR> It's like Russian Roulette, with your anus.
<Samwise> Yup...most of the time, you get a pleasant
relief of pressure...but you could end up with trouser chili.
- "Hey, didn't your dad go to DeVry?"
B><agt_orang> usin' the whole fist, there, kyol?
<Kyol> Up to the elbow.
<Kyol> You had _corn_ recently, huh?
<agt_orang> hmmm... timex indiglo watch...
- "Ennybody wanna play that there space invaders?"
<agent_orange> "Hyuck! Ah'm new to Chicaga, just in
from the Farm! Ennybody wanna play that there space invaders?"
<agent_orange> Bob Soron IS "The Cincinatti Nerd"
<Samwise> I can see him, hat pulled low, as he opens
up his case and assembles his joystick
- What's the best thing that could happen today?
<spinn> for a refresher, it says: 1) what's the best
thing that could happen today 2) what's the worst 3) how can I make
the best thing happen 4) how can I keep the worst thing from happening
<spinn> here's my last:
<spinn> 1. A nap
<spinn> 2. Global thermonuclear war
<spinn> 3. Go home for a half-hour nap at lunchtime
<spinn> 4. Outline and enact a twelve-point plan to
create an effective enforcement arm of the United Nations, with the
worldwide mandate to locate, confiscate, disarm, and destroy the
nuclear stockpiles of all countries
- She said "low-budget"?
<wabewalkr> We were in the mall once and this guy
walked by wearing sunglasses and a suit.
<wabewalkr> So she realized that the Mob was going
to gun her down. She dragged us into J.C. Penny's and made us hide
in dressing rooms.
<Lots42> You could get into a dressing room without
summoning the magical key-bearing employee?
<wabewalkr> This was early 80s, lots.
<Dodge> There's a special "hiding from the mob"
waiver that Penny's accomodates.
- The kitty isn't dead. Yet.
<maime> you eat the dogs poop?
<agent_orange> no no no no. well ...
<agent_orange> not *really*
<agent_orange> any more
- Leth, you cheap slut
<Doc_Evil> It is these hills that Juan Valdez has
sex with his trusty mule
<jacquilyn> Nah, that's Columbia.
<Doc_Evil> I stand corrected
- "It was a one-in-a-million shot, officer!"
<Agent_Orange> Occasionally the state of Louisiana makes its sexual predator list available to retailers who may have special offers of interest to sexual predators.
<Agent_Orange> Would you like to receive the Iberville Parish Sexual Predator Newsletter? Yes [ ] No [ ]
<Agent_Orange> Filled with interviews, games and tips?
<SoiledGreen> "This week in Games: Tie Little Sister Down!"
<Lots42> Help The Scout Master Through The Woods Maze To The Scouts Skinny Dipping In The Pond!
- Thousand island dressing will heal that right up.
<agent_orange> "we're gonna burn these cats, but to keep it scientific, we'll burn 'em all at the same speed!"
- "C'mon, horsies! Run!"
<kaufman> I had no shoes and cried. Then I met a guy with no legs and asked him, "Hey, can you drag yourself over to Soiled's place and get me my shoes back?"
- "Timmy, your milk money is in the dog."
<spinn> we'd need a gilliamesque cartoon of her tongue going down his throat and fishing through his internal organs
<spinn> fshk fshk fshk fshk fshk fshk..."hm? hrm?"...fshk fshk fshk fshk fshk fshk fshk
<tieboy> *stock footage of old ladies applauding*
- "I am the apricot of embezzelment!"
<CrazyClimber> man, now i feel all dirty. i ain't ever pretending to be agt again.
- Fish flavored kitty litter software
<Samwise> The 2 things a cat ever has to say to a human: Fuck you. Feed me.
- I didn't know you studied the Bitch sciences
<mdxi> what file format are catholics in these days?
<Kyol> .aiff, I think.
<Lethprechaun> mdxi FAT
- Who the hell brought up anality anyway?
<jacquilyn> I'm thinking anus on anus action wouldn't be all that hot, really.
<zompist> that's the worst kind!
<Samwise> *bump* *bump* "that doin anything for you whatsoever?" "Zzzzzzzzzzzz..."
<zompist> oh jeez. who the hell brought up anality anyway? yikes.
<zompist> oh. me.
- "I live with my sister and my wife. That's right, only two people in the household."
* Agent_Orange is on his way to being a fiji islander
<zompist> i want more representation for guamanians in oak park.
- Shit, I just laughed at him.
<LethOnConferenceCall> "I've got these guys on IRC that would appreciate it if you'd be stupid just a little slower"
- Maybe that's how people were smuggling illegal gerbils into California...
<Lore> If I were Porky Pig I'd KICK THIS GUY'S ASS!
<Lore> I'd call up Cornfed from "Duckman" and we'd
go KICK THIS GUY'S ASS!
<TMR> "b-b-b-bb-b-b--b--bbibibibiBOOT TO THE HEAD!"
- will havinta shouldsa smicky-smitt ge-been
<raven> Dammit, tie, you're gonna eat me and you're
gonna LIKE IT.
- "Oh, it's up there."
<spinn> "[person], I like you and all, but I don't
know you well enough to talk to you while I'm holding my dick."
- So, is it OK for fellatio to happen without chocolate milk?
<Samwise> Well, really. Say you just had a wild night
of hot monkey love. You wake up at 6 the next morning. which would you
rather have at that moment, a hummer or a strong cup o coffee?
- North American Elderly Puppet Love Association
<Lore> Beaker is a big penis. How can be be neutered?
- Condiment Art : Tastes Like Chicken
<Samwise> So, we take the bacon bits formula, in
<Raven> A condiment made of liquefied blue
<CrazyClimber> just the way you say it, raven, makes
me want some.
- Act now and I'll throw in a Mac Plus.
* SeanQ comes up with a half-eaten bag of candy corn, $.72,
and a button.
- and then they sewed his balls shut in his mouth
<Elkman> I hear they're trying to auction off the
pictures on eBay.
- Jesus may be a redneck if....
<kaufman> If you don't put your dead savior in a
cave, but instead out on cinder blocks in the yard ...
- The #spinnwebe Masked Ball
<LJ-athome> Anyway, I started piercing my internal organs in alphabetical order today.
- The Heartbreak of Elksplit
The story of the original elksplit when Elkman goes sepia into a lagosynclastic infundibulum.
- Superhero Sperm
<spinn> I mean, imagine millions of microscopic horny dogs wanting to hump your legs