"tumescent cotto salami of manhood"
<tieboy> you know what I think the problem is with a lot of erotic stories and erotic fiction?
<tieboy> every time they refer to a body part, they try to call it something different
<tieboy> and they wind up with words like "love pole" and "fuck-tunnel" and it just gets absurd
<mdxi> ah yes. we ran into that when we tried to write a romance novel in band class one year
<tieboy> i read something the other day, and it was going along fine until the anal action, when the term "her poop-button" was used.
<rJak> Yes. There's only so many words we can use for the female erogenous zone.
<Samwise> "purple-headed warrior"
<TomtheFish> "septic tunnel"
<rJak> "love pudding"
<tieboy> i just wonder why you can't pick one or two words and stick with them.
<mdxi> "tumescent cotto salami of manhood"
<TomtheFish> "the only other self-cleaning organ on the body other than they eye"
<TomtheFish> "the littlest kaiju"
<rJak> Most italian foods serve as a substitute for "penis".
<mdxi> "He steered his silken-steel throbbing gondola into her awaiting dewy canal of venus..."
<tieboy> I mean, if you're writing about your car or something, you don't rename it every time you refer to it
<Samwise> But cars look *good*. A penis is not a pretty thing... they feel that poetic names will disguise that.
<LadyJ> I think penes are cute
<LadyJ> circumcized ones, anyway.
<tieboy> I think it's more than that. I think it's like some unwritten rule
<tieboy> and they do the same for women's bits too.
<rJak> "cunnie", for instance.
* hockaway does have to agree with J on that one
<Lots42> you guys aren't reading the right porn
<hockwork> that could be an issue
<rJak> I know. I'm reading PJ.
<rJak> He uses "cunnie" three times.
<tieboy> Oh, how often do you really use back & forth?
<Samwise> I guess they don't want to print several dozen books that all have the phrase "He put his dick in her."
<rJak> And other various derivatives 84 times.
<Lots42> What books are you reading? Where can I get them?
<Samwise> Lots: you can get romance tripe by the pound at almost any library.
<tieboy> Well, it's fine to change it up a bit, but it just seems to reach a point where it gets very silly
<Samwise> Porn for middle aged housewives.
<rJak> It's not books!
<Lots42> I see.
<LadyJ> well, the book would be really short if it went: a bunch of shit happened, then alissa and ryan fucked. Then a bunch of other shit happened and then ryan and the duchess fucked. Then some more shit happened and the duchess and alissa fucked while ryan watched.
<Lots42> What's even freakier is that modern age romance shit. Women do tend to get kidnapped by shieks a hell of a lot.
<Lots42> Heck, remove the first two sentences and you got a best seller.
<TomtheFish> well, sheiks are a lusty lot
<rJak> Lots, remind me never to shop at Barnes and Noble with you.
<mdxi> LadyJ: you forgot "...and the war continued to rage across the land."
<LadyJ> oh yeah, right
<rJak> "meanwhile, people plotted..."
<Samwise> Amidst the chaos of battle and political corruption, they fucked like rabid weasels on spanish fly.
<Lots42> Too bad it won't end 'Then the Duchess and Alissa killed Ryan and buried him in the garden
<hockwork> face down
<mdxi> 9-edge first
<rJak> "Then Muffy got raped by wolves and discovered the secret treasure map..."
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