"C'mon, horsies! Run!"

<SoiledGreen> darren i have dated some strange women in my time. take it from me.
<Darren> sg: which one would you like me to take?
<SoiledGreen> the one that dragged the dr. pepper can around while meowing.
<Darren> sounds cute
<SoiledGreen> and she keeps calling me wanter her shoes back that i have had in my closet for about a year now.
<Darren> give her her shoes!
<Darren> stop wearing them yourself!
<SoiledGreen> i don't!
<SoiledGreen> it's a pair of crummy chuck taylors.
<kaufman> *** SoiledGreen is now known as Imelda
<Darren> do you just keep them to sniff occasionally then?
<SoiledGreen> well, i dunno, they just sit there.
<SoiledGreen> i don't mess with them.
<SoiledGreen> and she owes me a shirt.
<Darren> I thought you said she owes you a "shit" for a minute
<Samwise> SG: you'll never see the shirt.
<SoiledGreen> well, she will never see the shoes.
<Samwise> Based on scientific observation, 99% of breakups end with the guy out some of his stuff.
<SoiledGreen> or some stuff broken.
<Darren> and the girl down one pair of shoes
<kaufman> and his mind
<Samwise> And only 21% with the girl out some of her stuff.
<Darren> and his heart
<SoiledGreen> *like she does not have a million more*
<Darren> how many feet?
<SoiledGreen> just two.
<SoiledGreen> and maybe one in the ass if she keeps calling.
<Darren> next time she calls, say you'll give her the shoes back if she turns up and does tricks for you
<SoiledGreen> "roll over!"
<SoiledGreen> "play dead!"
<SoiledGreen> "good girl!"
<Darren> buy some implements
<Darren> and a web cam, then you're in business
<SoiledGreen> "h4wt girl on dr. pepper can pr0n! LQQK!"
<kaufman> I had no shoes and cried. Then I met a guy with no legs and asked him, "Hey, can you drag yourself over to Soiled's place and get me my shoes back?"
<Darren> reminds me of that hh episode where Josh screwed an aluminum can
<Darren> cut his dick off
<Samwise> I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man with no feet, and laughed.
<SoiledGreen> hey.. i think she is dating some weird freako now.
<Darren> you?
<Samwise> "now"?
<Darren> me?
<SoiledGreen> from what i hear, he runs around the house smacking his ass while masturbating, and giggling.
<Darren> that's Josh!
<Samwise> SG: is he a chimp?
<SoiledGreen> maybe.
<agent_orange> "C'mon, horsies! Run!"
*** Darren has changed the topic on channel #spinnwebe to Shatner fans check out http://washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A62461-2001Apr9.html from what i hear, he runs around the house smacking his ass while masturbating, and giggling.
<Samwise> Gee, thanks Darren. Now I have the image of Shatner doing that, and it's making me look seriously into lobotomies.
<SoiledGreen> and she calls and tells me "he's in a band! they are soooo cool!"
<agent_orange> aaaahh. a musician
<agent_orange> just wait.
<SoiledGreen> he'll go far!
<Darren> classically trained, I bet
<Darren> he plays the violinetto
<Samwise> What do you call a guitar player who just broke up with his girlfriend?
<Samwise> Homeless.
<agent_orange> after he steals her debit cards and runs up her bill with phone sex calls, he'll be gone
<SoiledGreen> no, she will do that to him.
<SoiledGreen> i think he might be broke anyway.