"I live with my sister and my wife. That's right, only two people in the household."

* zompist wonders if he should add three or four fictitious people to his census form.
<Leth> zompist: Sims
* Agent_Orange is on his way to being a fiji islander
<tieboy> you got the pictures to prove it zomp
<zompist> i want more representation for guamanians in oak park.
<Elkman> "Occupation: One of the voices inside my head."
<Samwise> What'll I be this year...
<zompist> "the person who owns, is buying, or rents this house, apartment, or mobile home"... is a dumpster a mobile home?
<shil> I haven't even really looked at mine yet.. except the part that says "you are required by law to complete this form"
<Elkman> Sure. They have to pick it up to empty it.
<zompist> "Dear census people: Should I count my IRC nick as a separate occupant?"
<shil> like they're going to hunt me down and take me away fro not filling out the census form
<LJ-inhell> I didn't get a census form
<shil> you will
<zompist> you don't officially exist.
<LJ-inhell> my friend did
<shil> tehy're still sending them out
* tieboy shakes his head slowly, in disbelief
<Samwise> *gasp* an...unperson?
<zompist> and you're causing cleveland to get less than its fair share of federal funds.
* kaufman filled his out in 2 minutes
<shil> some people got a booklet
<shil> some people got a 2-page form
<shil> weird
<zompist> yeah, i got a 40-page opus here.
<shil> wow.
<shil> mine's not that big
<zompist> well, of course-- you're a grrl.
<tieboy> I got two things from them
<kaufman> zompist: The Sixth Census: "I count dead people"
<shil> heyh...... we should trade forms.
<shil> zompist's stats would be from TN and my stats would be from IL
<LJ-inhell> hahahahahaha
<zompist> it'd be fun to answer that question on page 4 about "the current contents of your stomach".
<Samwise> "in order of ingestion"
<LJ-inhell> hahahahahaha
<LJ-inhell> I actually typed that again
<shil> "what is your main source of protien?"
<LJ-inhell> it wasn't a paste
<zompist> nothing but pure, organic, fully typed laughter here on #spinnwebe.
<kaufman> "what holds the tent wher it is?"
<Samwise> No artificial humor added
<zompist> man, i wonder what would happen if the census people didn't insist that we check only one box for "sex".
<kaufman> * zompist seeks the YES box
<Agent_Orange> they'd add more boxes
<zompist> "The Census Bureau reports that the population is 65% male and 55% female."
<Agent_Orange> _______Other
<TMR> _____Anal
<zompist> under marital status they have "now married". it sounds so... temporary.
<zompist> i gotta know this-- can you go to jail for what you write on a census form?
<Samwise> YES.
<Leth> technically, its illegal, but it's probably more like a heavy fine
<Agent_Orange> Zomp: actually, it depends on which question and what you write
<Agent_Orange> but since they're collected and coallated by winos and babbling street people, I say go for it
<zompist> dammit, they're asking if i'm under 15 when i already gave them my age.
<zompist> don't they have calculators at the census bureau?
<Leth> "Are you sure?"
<Leth> "No, really, how old are you?"
<zompist> "LAST WEEK, did this person do ANY WORK...?"
<Agent_Orange> how old are you? "37" Is that under fifteen? Y____ N_____
<zompist> they're on to me.
<zompist> i can tell they're being sarcastic. "ANY WORK".
<Leth> "Did you TRY to bullshit last week?"
<zompist> "Did this person not, in fact, waste virtually all their time on the net?"
<mdxi> i don't get it. the census form i got had about 10 questions on it.
<Agent_Orange> ANY work at ALL?
<mdxi> where'd you guys get these Census Purity Test versions?
<Agent_Orange> certain persons were singled out for closer study
<zompist> this one has 53 questions per person.
<zompist> hey, census dudes, if i give a zip code you don't need to ask for the damn county, ok?
<zompist> "Name of U.S. state or foreign country"... i wonder how many people will put "ontario"
<Agent_Orange> 65. How Old are you again? Fifteen, right? Y__ N__
<mdxi> jesus. mine was like (for household): how do you pay for the place you live? how many people live there? followed by (for each person): Full name, age, sex, nationality.
<kaufman> mightn't some zips cross county lines?
<LJ-inhell> nationality is optional, of course
<zompist> they're not very interested in southerners, shawn.
<Agent_Orange> We throw the count off by including the coon dogs
<Leth> they figure they can barely count their teeth, nevermind keep track of sisters/aunts/wives/cousins
<zompist> some of which are "all of the above"
<Leth> there, thank you...I was afraid noone was going to take that
<Agent_Orange> "I live with my sister and my wife. That's right, only two people in the household."
<zompist> thank you for contributing your fair share of setup lines to the humor ambience here at #spinnwebe. you will be allowed to respond to two setup lines tomorrow.
<Agent_Orange> Click here to return to work
<Samwise> Didn't work, Agt.
<Agent_Orange> mine's busted too
<zompist> where's my w-2, dangit?
<Agent_Orange> in the top drawer, under the stamps.
<zompist> ah, here it is. jeez, where did all this money go?
<Samwise> Pussy & beer, likely.
<Leth> That was my wife's answer too, oddly enough
<zompist> "what were the actual sales of all agricultural products from this property?"
<zompist> oboy, my wife is going to be multiracial.