Shit, I just laughed at him.
<LethOnConferenceCall> oh man...I'm gonna kill my boss...he sloughed off a conference call onto me, and it's a customer and 3 marketing people
<SeanQ> eww... marketing people
<SeanQ> your gonna need a shower after that one
<Samwise> The bane of the geek.
<jacquilyn> to hell with marketing people, goddamned customers are the worst.
<Agent_Orange> I vote for customers too
<KemloCaesar> "Business would be perfect if we could just get rid of the customers", eh?
<jacquilyn> Hell, where I work, we could eliminate customers and just pass internal money around for years before anybody noticed.
<Samwise> I dunno...I think customers can' thelp it.
<Samwise> Marketing requires effor & malice.
* Agent_Orange takes several valiums to counter terrifying thoughts of clients at home with Microsoft Publisher and PrintShop Pro
<jacquilyn> We have hundreds of people who do nothing but handle internal systems.
<jacquilyn> Plus, if we got rid of customers, we could lose the marketing pukes and everybody would love that.
<LethOnConferenceCall> "well, I'm sure we could test that, but we'd need better specs for the process" "well, can't you make the specs as you test it? It'd be easier that way, wouldn't it?"
* SeanQ works for a self-proclaimed Marketing Genius[tm]
<kaufman> ah, the genius of rap musk
<Agent_Orange> SeanQ: yeah, I work for a Design "genius" too... !~@#$%^
<Agent_Orange> "I *KNOW* what moves papers" (Not if the returns are any indication, no, you don't)
<spinn> specs as you test it.
<Samwise> plumps as you cook it.
<SeanQ> well, spinn, at least that way it won't fail
<Samwise> Equivalent to the marketing mind.
<spinn> "what happens?" "okay, I put in '12' and it outputs 'a greatness of ammonia'." "okay, I'll put it in the spec."
<Agent_Orange> "At 45% of capacity, spins out of control and kills user."
<LethOnConferenceCall> Oh, it got better...this guy actually asked if we can use 3 T1 lines instead of a T3 since a T3 is more expensive
<shil> won't 3 t1 lines be more expensive than 1 t3 line?
<kaufman> how about 2 t1.5s?
<KemloCaesar> Or 1.5 T2s?
<shil> or 6 t.5's?
<kaufman> 1.5 sqrt(2) Tsqrt(2)s
<spinn> maybe you could buy t0.01s in bulk
<Samwise> Stop that. It's silly.
<kaufman> sam: get yourself a few dozen T-hees
<LethOnConferenceCall> shit, I just laughed at him
<LethOnConferenceCall> "MAybe you can buy one of the automated test suites for NT, and that way you won't have to worry about supporting the Unix stuff"
<LethOnConferenceCall> "We write the suites in-house" "See? That's why you should buy them, because it'll save the time it takes to write them"
<spinn> "and make all your routers out of paper. paper is cheaper than metal, isn't it?"
<LethOnConferenceCall> now he's all huffy because I laughed
<spinn> how come we need this t1 thing anyway? couldn't you just run a phone line? it's just noise really, right?"
<hockeyfag> my grandfather really knows morse code well
<spinn> that gotta be handy
<Agent_Orange> Wouldn't and M1 or R1 line be cheaper still?
<LethOnConferenceCall> "Can't we just send the packets in Morse Code? Why bother with IP"?
<spinn> "my brother-in-law needs a job...couldn't we just put him on one end of the data line and he could pick up a phone and describe the data to somebody on the other end?"
<SeanQ> Leth: .--. ..- .-- .. - -.. .--.
<Agent_Orange> do you need both ones *and* zeros?
<Agent_Orange> Could you use o's instead?
<spinn> "cut our expenses in half!"
<mdxi> to hell with binary, go back to those 10x10 arrays of vacuum tubes to represent characters
<LethOnConferenceCall> ah...all is clear now... "Well, one thing we did back when I was with Digital..."
<mdxi> i hear tubes give your data a warmer sound than transistors anyway
<Agent_Orange> "Router? Hell, I got a Black and Decker router in the shed! I'll just bring it in!"
<spinn> "why do you need a router? your office should be ready for this equipment"
<shil> i never heard of that cisco company. what other power tools do they make?
<Agent_Orange> mdxi: screw the 10x10; you get an old lite-brite, see...
<Samwise> Here, take mine.
<SeanQ> "Cisco? I thought they only made cooking grease."
<LethOnConferenceCall> "Ok, we'll put a guy on the roof of your building with semaphore flags...."
<KemloCaesar> "Blink your eyes in the following sequence..."
<TomFish> lite-brite? i think my old pong console can handle this job
<shil> "how about a lighthouse? that does binary, right?"
<mdxi> AP-BusinessWire: Today Makita and Cisco announced plans for a merger. Their first joint project is a 9.6V cordless fast ethernet switch and orbital sander
<SeanQ> tell 'em to put all of their terminals in a pile, set it on fire, and send smoke-signals
<Agent_Orange> "Just hire a journalism major to go 'khhhkt khhhkt khhhkt' over the phone line!"
<SeanQ> ooh! carrier pigeons eat for only cents a day!
<KemloCaesar> Mmmm.... pigeons...
<Agent_Orange> "When a data packet arrives, can you use the packet agin, for more data? How much would that save?"
<jacquilyn> Yeah, but they shit all over the place, Sean. Slaves are much easier to train. Plus, they can carry larger messages.
<KyolAway> .... . .-.. .--. ... -- . --..-- ... .. -- ... ... - ..- -.-. -.- ... .. -. ... - .... . ... .---- ---.. ..--- ----- ... ...
<LethOnConferenceCall> heheh...actual transcript... "Well, we probably don't need to support the unixes on the initial release, because not too many of our customers really use unix" Customer: "Actually we use it pretty heavily" Marketing: "Oh, well, would you be able to wait till the 1.1 release?"
<Agent_Orange> "Lemurs! With magic slates hanging from their necks!"
<jacquilyn> Don't they jump off cliffs every 7 years?
<jacquilyn> Or is that Lemmings?
<LethOnConferenceCall> could this marketing guy have his tongue FURTHER up Bill Gate's ass?
<Agent_Orange> Dammit, Leth, you're getting ahead of our ability to mock!
<kaufman> jacq: what if you used an african pigeon?
* LethOnConferenceCall acknowledges his apostrophe fault
<LethOnConferenceCall> sorry Agt...I'll ask him to slow down
<jacquilyn> I don't think it would help, kauf.
<LethOnConferenceCall> "I've got these guys on IRC that would appreciate it if you'd be stupid just a little slower"
<Agent_Orange> Yeah, dumb it down a little, willya, pal?
<SeanQ> why not tell 'em all to dl mIRC and DCC their information
<mdxi> we wanna help too
<kaufman> except for the tongueing
<mdxi> #spinnwebe: Corporate Consultant's Extraordinaire
<Agent_Orange> "So, we got a 14.4, two 9600s, three 28.8s... thats 101.76... hell, there's yer T-1!"
<SeanQ> heheh, run 'em all in series to get max efficiency
<hockeyfag> shotgun protocol
<KyolAway> "blahblahblahblah test blahblahblah test blablahblah oral sex..." "whuhuh?"
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