Surely, Goodman Livingston would commit no such wickedness.

<Freyja> why hello there D of sol
<sol-D> how goes, my good lady?
<Freyja> nice and inebriated, thank you kindly, and you?
<sol-D> gracious!
<hiway> oh my stars and garters!
<sol-D> I read an article that linked the consumption of spirits to wanton lustful acts of depravity
<Freyja> yes, as did I.
<sol-D> Oh, well then.
<Freyja> it sounded pleasant
<hiway> scandalous!
<sol-D> Next thing we know you'll be showing up to mass with your socks turned down!
<Samwise> ankle pics?
<tieboy> hm. drinking. good idea
<sol-D> See, next thing you know, Mr. Notmydesk will be into this spirit drinking michief!
<sol-D> Forced to violate himself in that large, lonely house of his.
<sol-D> I shudder thinking of it
<sol-D> shudder, I say!
<hiway> yes. how could you live with yourself, having corrupted such a pure and innocent soul?
<Freyja> surely, Goodman Livingston would commit no such wickedness
<Samwise> Well, at least not without proper lube.
* sol-D turns pale and passes out
<Samwise> Woohoo! Dibs!
* tieboy dresses up his man-servants in female garments
<wabewalkr> How can you tell the difference?
* sol-D unpasses out and sits bolt-upright.
<sol-D> Man servants, you say?
* sol-D fishes out her dainty little ankle flask
<hiway> *gasp*. et tu, sol-D?
<wabewalkr> It's filled with "lemonade."
<wabewalkr> Or is it "pineapple juice"?
<sol-D> Ladies don't drink. they glow.
<wabewalkr> Ladies also get the "vapors."
<hiway> yes. they get stinking glowy.
<hiway> the jerks.
<sol-D> and this is cough syrup. I'm afraid this harsh summer air is giving me... uh... vapours
* wabewalkr moves away from sol-D.
<sol-D> *dook dook dook*
<Samwise> Women don't get *those* vapors.
<Samwise> Just ask them.
<Samwise> *ahem* sol, do women fart?
<sol-D> No.
<sol-D> Well, actually
<wabewalkr> Women don't get a lot of things, and as God is my witness, the vote will be one of those things!
<sol-D> it's woman-specific. You have to take it on a woman-by-woman basis.
<wabewalkr> You count the teeth.
<sol-D> no, you cut them open and count the rings. duh.
<wabewalkr> The fewer the teeth, the more likely the farts.
<sol-D> "looks like we got a farter, clem."
<hiway> wait, so how do you tell how old they are, then?