Thousand island dressing will heal that right up.
<Elkman> Do mice actually like cheese, or is that just a popular misconception?
<shil> they like peanut butter
<CrazyClimber> hundreds of warner brothers cartoons can't be wrong
<Lore> Mice only explode under certain conditions.
<Elkman> How do you get mice to explode?
<shil> with a firecracker
<Gayo> Feed them something explosive and set it off, I think.
<Gayo> Or just sit them on top of an explosive and detonate it.
<CrazyClimber> it's also ok to just crush them with an anvil
<agent_orange> get them drunk and then dare them
<SoiledGreen> mousetraps never work.
<maime> you make seagulls explode with alka seltzer
<Lots42> hook up the explosives to a piano and play a tune wrong
<Elkman> Lots: Wasn't that Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam?
<CrazyClimber> i know it was one scene in a road runner cartons, but i remember they used the gag in other places, too
<CrazyClimber> uh, cartoon
<Lots42> Elk, it was many of 'em
* CrazyClimber wonders what freudian imagery he had
<Elkman> I have a small mouse problem in my basement.
<CrazyClimber> yay! we're back to sex talk!
<agent_orange> you have a small moude?
<agent_orange> er, mouse?
<Elkman> I got up yesterday morning and I thought I heard something dripping on metal in the basement.
<Lots42> They are replacing three roofs across the road. Or attempting to. The works show up for two hours before noon then vanish
<CrazyClimber> * Elkman is now known as Scratchy
<agent_orange> I have hair on my mouse ball
<Elkman> I went down to the basement to look, and here's this mouse running around inside the washing machine.
<Lots42> My moude chafes easily
<Lots42> Well, run a load and drown the fucker!
<agent_orange> "What are you doing in there?" I asked
<SyntheticKemlo> "the backstroke!"
<Kyol> Did you turn on the washing machine then?
<agent_orange> or did you pour the gasoline in first?
<Elkman> Kyol: Yep. I shut the lid and set the dial to the spin cycle.
<Kyol> Elk: They _love_ that, little meeses do.
<CrazyClimber> so you ended up with a drowned mouse?
<CrazyClimber> or were his little bones crushed by the spin cycle?
<maime> naw. he got out his motorcycle and did tricks.
<Elkman> CC: He was pretty well crushed. Apparently, mice can't take centrifugal force.
<CrazyClimber> no, that would be a frog.
<agent_orange> science in action
<Gayo> Wouldn't've thought the force would crush him alone.
<maime> you should have taken pictures.
<CrazyClimber> so, like, you had mouse guts all over the inside of your washing machine?
<agent_orange> "we're gonna burn these cats, but to keep it scientific, we'll burn 'em all at the same speed!"
<maime> did you bleach it out?
<ristoril> just mouse excrement
<mdxi> man, that was refreshing...i got up, grabbed a blanket, drove out to the woods, got naked and stared at the clouds and sky and trees and ticks and mosquitos for a couple of hours.
<mdxi> i'm a bit itchy now but i feel much better
<Gayo> The PETA's gonna be rolling a pipe bumb in here any minute now.
<agent_orange> you always examine your briefs that close?
<Elkman> maime: You seriously wanted to see pictures? Weren't you the one grossed out by a bandaid in the salad?
<ristoril> * maime hurls
<Elkman> CC: No. Fortunately, the mouse was still in one piece.
<maime> Yeah but that was in my salad. it's not like you're going to freeze the mouse and put it in my entree next time we're out to dinner together.
<shil> you hope
<maime> and even that isn't as bad a medical waste.
<Gayo> True, you'd probably get sicker from eating a band-aid than a mouse.
<CrazyClimber> maybe the mouse is wearing a bandaid
<maime> ack! mousie bandaids.
<ristoril> the mouse is at least cleane though
<CrazyClimber> or worse, maybe it /was/
* agent_orange goes to change the dressing on the rat's boil and fed exes the gauze pad to maime
<Elkman> How'd you get the rat to sit still enough to put on a dressing?
<CrazyClimber> well, it was in the salad.
<maime> just don't pack it in salad greens.
<shil> thousand island dressing will heal that right up.
<maime> that would have been worse than the raspberry vineagrette/
<agent_orange> I like a nice bueu cheese rat
<agent_orange> er, you know what I meant
<maime> good thing I ate my lunch already.
<agent_orange> I meant dressing like stuffing, anyway.
<agent_orange> boy, that rat squealed
<agent_orange> ruined a perfectly good oyster fork, too
<maime> actually, this isn't as disturbing as what patrick bateman did with a rat.
<SyntheticKemlo> but was the rat a consenting adult?
<maime> Yes, but the woman wasn't very consenting.
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