Christ-A-Roni, the Treat that Died for your Sins

SWHC



<Lore> Now annoying.
<Lore> s/Now/Jesus God, That's/
<SeanQ> that your new slogan, lore?
<kaufman> isn't "Lore" the past subjunctive of "leer"?
<Lore> In Canada, it's Loure.
<jacquilyn> STop mocking Canada.
<tieboy> in France, it's Louvre
<jacquilyn> Jesus H Christ on a stick there are other countries in thiw world. Mock some of them for awhile.
<tieboy> Ha ha! Peru is dumb.
<Lore> As soon as an Albanian comes into #spinnwebe, I'm sure Albania will get its due.
<jacquilyn> Russia, Uzbekistand, Ghana, all ripe for mocking and et you continue to pick on Canada.
<zompist> it's not entirely connected to the presence of a canadian here.
<jacquilyn> So the only way to get you to stop is to leave?
<Lore> How would you know?
<Lore> It's like the fridge light.
<zompist> we pick on nederdutchia when sim is here.
<jacquilyn> What about Sim? Hes like Dutch or something.
<tieboy> oh, we made fun of Holland plenty
<Lore> In Holland it's L00r.
<zompist> and there was that one day when we riffed the fuck out of botswana.
<tieboy> the 'Dutch Oven' thread went on for days
<Leth> and when Nyder was here, we mocked the Brits incessantly
<jacquilyn> Na, there'd be a j in it inHolland.
<Lore> And they go on a fudgepacking jag whenever hockey's on.
<jacquilyn> Lojr or Lorj.
<Lore> I like Lojr. Lojr Fjitzgeraald Sjoberg
<jacquilyn> So what you're tring to tell me is that I'm too sensitive.
<jacquilyn> How about Ljor?
<zompist> i think it'd be pronounced like "lawyer", tho'.
<jacquilyn> Ljor Sjoberg.
<Leth> that's ok, Jac. We understand that Canadians tend to be hypersensitive. It's probably a combination of extreme cold and back bacon
<Lore> Depends. If you're sensitive to malignment of your home country, yes. If you're sensitive to the repetition of the same damn jokes people have been making since SCTV, no.
<zompist> hey. in addition to making the same damn jokes that have been made since sctv, we've also done elegant, witty satire of current canadian affairs.
<jacquilyn> I'm vastly amused by the association of Canada with back bacon - given that for the most part we don't eat it.
<jacquilyn> zompist: that's jus tyou though, the rest of them pretty muchstick with crappy repettitive stuff.
<zompist> wow, i didn't think anyone would buy that.
<jacquilyn> GAh. I need a new keyboard.
<tieboy> i still don't understand how the Chinese can have keyboards
<zompist> well, the general rule with ruffianism is that resistance only spurs us on.
<zompist> i suppose you could try kemlo's urine trick, but that didn't really stop us either.
<jacquilyn> Please don't tell me what Kemlo's urine trick was.
<kaufman> jacq: blame Rick Moranis
<jacquilyn> Hey, at least that gives Canada someone to blame.
<jacquilyn> Is it our fault that Alex Trebek became and American and Rick moranisstayed Canadian?
<zompist> actually, his trick might solve your other problem.
<jacquilyn> Don't you think we'd rather ahve the smart guy than the boob with the Disney show.
<jacquilyn> I have another problem?
<kaufman> Alex still maintains his Canadian roots
<SeanQ> i thought Disney wouldn't allow any boobs in their shows
<zompist> he said that, as a response to our jibes, he would piss on his keyboard.
<jacquilyn> HE got US citizenship about 3 or 4 years ago.
<kaufman> Whenever a Jeopardy queestion refs Canada ...
<jacquilyn> Canadians everywhere were annoyed.
<Lore> I, personally, have never heard anyone of any persuasion pronounce the word "about" to rhyme with "fruit."
<jacquilyn> zomp: Exactly how was that supposed to affect us?
<kaufman> not even Scottish or Liverpudlian?
<Lore> And yet the joke persists.
<jacquilyn> I mean, other than witha shorted out keyboard, we wouldn't have to put p with the fucktard.
<zompist> well, we are dealing with kemlo here. no one knows.
<zompist> but if you tried it, maybe they'd give you a new keyboard.
<Lore> I haven't talked to many Scots, and I'm pretty sure Liverpudlians don't pronounce it that way either.
<zompist> don't liverpudlians say abou'? with a glo''al stop?
<ZompAsLinguist> there is a sound change called Canadian Raising. 'aboot' is a parody of it, though.
<ZompAsLinguist> and it's not just canada.
<Lore> I don't get it. If the prevailing opinion is so against Kemlo, why isn't he banned? Surely that's got to be more effective than spending fiftten minutes writing Perl pseudocode.
<Lore> Not that I'm advocating a ban, but I'm just wondering what the logic is.
<tieboy> it was kind of an experiment
<SeanQ> it's almost more fun to drive him away
<zompist> personally i'm against banning him. it would have deprived us of the paul & kemlo show.
<tieboy> to see if the perl fakers could make him leave like the real techies always seem to
<jacquilyn> Hey, I just have to suggest it and he leaves.
<Lore> If it makes you feel any better, Jacqui, it bugs me that 99% of all San Francisco jokes are "Hey, gay people live there."
<kaufman> and the other 1% is "Hey, straight people don't live there"
<jacquilyn> Nah, the other one percent is proably about the geek spillover from the valley.
<Lore> I think the other 1% is that one Mark Twain quote.
<kaufman> .12%: Californians in general
<tieboy> .08%: "boy. enough hills for ya?"
<zompist> mark twain was once asked how long his penis was. "the reports of my dick length have been greatly exaggerated," quipped the great man.
<kaufman> .053%: QuAkEs!
<Lore> When Gertrude Stein was asked the same thing, she replied "There's no there there."
<Leth> .01% repeating Bill Cosby's Lombard Street routine
<zompist> .004% jokes about sam spade's name
<tieboy> 76%: "Hey, ya shrimp!" (may just be me personally)
<Lore> There are also Rice-A-Roni jokes, but those don't count.
<Lore> Rice-A-Roni is the back bacon of San Francisco.
<zompist> tie worked for rice-a-roni, you know.
<Lore> You lie.
<jacquilyn> You worked for rce-a-roni?
<Lore> Why do you add to your trail of lies?
<jacquilyn> That's so cool.
<tieboy> no, i really did
* jacquilyn loves rice-a-roni.
<Lore> In the rice department or the roni department?
<zompist> it's the san francisco (what a gay town!) treat!
<jacquilyn> Could you go back and get me some free samples?
<Lore> That's funny, I love back bacon.
<tieboy> i was the side-dish assistant
<jacquilyn> Not the new and crappy flavours though just the plain old 'for chicken' and 'for beef;
<Lore> Not that I'm a San Franciscan any more. Or ever was. I lived in Berkeley, but I worked in San Francisco.
<zompist> longhair!
<zompist> oh, wait.
<jacquilyn> Which, as I'm sure youknow, are vastly different than the'chikcen and 'beef' flavours.
<Lore> Tie: For god's sake what did you do for rice-a-roni?
<tieboy> i was a marketing assistant.
<Lore> That must have been fun. "Our new ad campaign uses the same damn slogan as the last one. Let's go to lunch."
<tieboy> i even did some focus groups with kids so we could find out what was 'hip' and 'phat' to better market to them
<jacquilyn> Were you the marketing genius ehind the phrase 'San Francisco Treat'?
<Lore> That one time that they tried to market it as the Fresno Treat was a disaster.
<jacquilyn> I'm guessing the asnwer to your question of 'what is hip?'wasn't rice-a-roni...
<zompist> coming soon: rice-a-rapper!
<Mr-Ben> Rice-a-Rapper, boooooooooy!
<Lore> Hip and rice-a-roni mutually destroy each other if they touch.
<tieboy> all they did was have brainstorming sessions and meetings
<Lore> "It's San Francisco Jiggy."
<SeanQ> i recall a north-eastern test market of Rice-A Rooskie
<jacquilyn> Rice cooked in vodka?
<SeanQ> and in Jersey they used to sell Rice-A-Tony
<tieboy> in Mexico, Rice-A-Cabrone-y"
<Lore> Step one of "Project Make Rice A Roni Hip": Stop giving it away on game shows.
<Lore> Step Two: Burn all of it and come up with another product.
<Lore> Preferably one of those scooter things. Kids like those.
<SeanQ> Scoot-A-Roni
<zompist> Children, "word up" to your parents and recommend to them the "fly" rice-a-roni that all the "homeys" are "down" with!
<Lore> The Compton Treat
<SeanQ> Rice-A-Homey
<zompist> 'Ey, vatos, that rice-a-roni, it's not just for gabachas anymore, the morenos can cook it too, entiende?
<SeanQ> "For Crips" and "For Bloods"
<Lore> Are the crips and the bloods still around? I thought they disappeared after a failed IPO.
<zompist> crips.com?
<tieRoni> pets.com sued them for using a similar sock puppet
<SeanQ> they were virtually indistinguishable except for teh bandana
<Lore> Christ-A-Roni, the Treat that Died for your Sins
<jacquilyn> does it come on a stick Lore?
<SeanQ> Ready in Just Three Days!
<Lore> I'm disturbed by the recent addition of "Pasta-Roni." Isn't that redundant?
<raven> Not really. Starch-A-Roni would be redundant.
<zompist> it's your san francisco guarantee that pasta-roni is made of 100% specially selected pasta and roni
<Mr-Ben> Whatever "roni" is..
<Lore> Isn't roni the tantric word for vagina?
<zompist> dammit lore, i was working on a joke along those lines.
<Lore> My skills at the keyboard are much faster now that I pissed all over it.
<zompist> hmm, i haven't tried that.
<zompist> and i never will.


Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
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