Maybe that's how people were smuggling illegal gerbils into California...
<Lore> You know what's interesting about living in North Carolina? Ferrets and gerbils.
<SeanQ> Lore: i hear that same comment about Hollywood too
<Lore> You can just walk into a pet store here and plunk down cash for a ferret and a gerbil like they were cheese sendiwches.
<Lore> You see, that's the problem with that rumor.
<Lore> Gerbils are ILLEGAL in California.
<StanXhiao> I don't like the feel of a cheese snadwich up my ass.
<Lore> Richard Gere would be much better off using a hamster.
<SeanQ> probably for exactly that reason, lore
<SeanQ> Proposition 483, the Human Habitrail Act
<SeanQ> or maybe that's how people were smuggling illegal gerbils into California
<Lore> I don't have a sandwich appetite. I have an ASSWICH appetite.
<Lore> The actual reason, near as I can figure, and I can figure pretty near, is that they were concerned about loose gerbils decimating and/or desecrating the state's crops.
<StanXhiao> oh, and rectal tissue is a crop now?
<SeanQ> don't they use that for facelifts now?
<Lore> No, but sometimes you use a crop on it.
<Lore> I'm not sure what the reason for ferrets is.
<Lore> They smell funny, maybe.
<Lore> Anyhow, both of these animals are very strange and unusual to me. It's very odd to see them just sitting there in the pet store. It's like walking into a Circle K and seeing a kilo of cocaine next to the Altoids.
<Lore> "I'm curiously high!"
<spinn> wonder if richard gere ever considered putting a hamster up his butt out of frustration, just to get it over with.
<StanXhiao> Damn I didn't know they had Circle K ther
<Lore> They do, but they're rare. Most convenience stores are attached to gas stations.
<Lore> Very few free-roaming convenience stores.
<StanXhiao> Well, down here they're both.
<StanXhiao> They sell cocaine /and/ small rodents.
<Lore> Ande there are no Seven-11s.
<Elkman> We don't have 7-Elevens in the Minneapolis area, either.
<Lore> Are you in Florida, Stan?
<Lore> 7-Elevens rock. To begin with, they have Slurpees, which kick ass over Icees and Slush Puppies.
<Elkman> Just Tom Thumb (convenience stores, sometimes with gas) and SuperAmerica (gas stations with convenience stores).
<SeanQ> we still have the rogue 7-Eleven around here
<SeanQ> most of them are long gone
<Samwise> I have to disagree.. I found one (and only one) slush puppy machine that was user-operated, and had little balls of ice instead of a "slush". So you'd put in too much syrup and have the wonderful texture.. kicked even the slurpee's ass.
<Lore> Tom Thumb?
<Lore> Warning: contains the phrase "wee-markable"
<jacquilyn> Slurpees are vastly imporved by the addition of soft serve icecream which makes them 'screamers'
<StanXhiao> Like snow?
<Lore> I dated a screamer once.
<StanXhiao> Snow is wee-markable, too.
<Lore> I was hoping that these Tom Thumb markets would have an eerie spokescharacter, and they do!
<KemloCaesar> a Claymation severed thumb?
<SeanQ> lore: wanna bet they call those 'wee-marketable' cards internally?
<Elkman> You can get a free latex balloon from the floral department. But NOT from the pharmacy department.
<StanXhiao> Tom Thumb? They have 'em out ther, too?
<Elkman> Actually, it's not the same chain.
<Lore> I'm just thinking oof the poor kids whose moms make them get the "Fruit of the Month'
<SeanQ> where'd you find the spokescharacter?
<Lore> Why do they bother mentioning that it's latex. Like a kid is going to go "No, I don't find a free balloon very appeali--did you say latex?"
<Lore> Man. I can't type for hot dick today.
<KemloCaesar> some ammonia will get that right out, i think
*** TMR (email@example.com) has joined channel #spinnwebe
<Elkman> "OK, kids, get into the minivan. We're going to Kroger." "Aww, Mom! I wanna go to Tom Thumb! They have latex balloons there!"
<Lore> Here we have grocery stores called "Harris Teeters"
<Lore> Which is just the oddest strange name.
<Elkman> There are grocery stores in Nebraska named "Hinky Dinky".
<SeanQ> any of you guys near a 'Piggly Wiggly'?
<Lore> That sounds like it should be a racial slurs.
<SeanQ> or better yet, a 'Grandpa Pigeon'?
<Lore> "The problem with this town is all the hinky dinkies, the hombas, and the fucking raisinheads."
<TMR> Hinky Dinky- the fifth teletubby.
<Lore> Grandpa Pigeon? That's a store?
<SeanQ> snnkkkkkkkt: http://www.pigglywiggly.com/
<SeanQ> dear christ I can't look at it
<Lore> Weird! Eerie!
<SeanQ> and look at the document name
<Lore> Mine says "Piggly wiggly piggly, wiggly, pig, piggy, ho..."
<Lore> Which sounds like the lyrics to a Nine Inch Nails song.
<KemloCaesar> ...hog, piglet, grocery, store, toys, baseball, golf, shirts - Netscape"
<SeanQ> 'I wanna FUCK you like a piggly wiggly piggly wiggly pig!'
<StanXhiao> Sean: We often shoppped at "The ig" when I was growing up. My older bother was a bag-boy ther.
<Lore> Mine just ends with "ho"
<KemloCaesar> should I topic that?
<Lore> Was that a typo or did you actually call it "The Ig"?
<TMR> Thunder! Thunder! THUNDERPIGS! HOOOOOOO!!
<Elkman> There's a Piggly Wiggly in Duluth, MN. I should go up there sometime.
<StanXhiao> "The Pig," that is. And speaking of which... one of the women from marketing is on our floor. Anyone have a spit?
<Lore> I just feel bad for those poor, trusting children who will be found lifeless by a riverbank in two months.
<SeanQ> lore: there used to be a chain called 'Grandpa Pigeon', i can't find any trace of it any more
<Lore> If I were Porky Pig I'd KICK THIS GUY'S ASS!
<Lore> I'd call up Cornfed from "Duckman" and we'd go KICK THIS GUY'S ASS!
<TMR> "b-b-b-bb-b-b--b--bbibibibiBOOT TO THE HEAD!"
<SeanQ> from that middle link above: Westfield Plaza on the city's west end has Venture as its primary attraction, and Schnucks Swansea Plaza features Schnucks Supermarket as well as Grandpa Pigeon's.
<Lore> Am I the only one who's pretty sure Petunia Pig was just Porky Pig in drag?
<TMR> Nah, she'd have breasts.
<KemloCaesar> Shmuck's Shwanz Plaza?
<Lore> This is a COLORING page?
<Lore> "There's nothing quite a s fun as coloring a trapezoid labelled 'grains'!"
* Elkman orders the Mr. Pig T-shirt, size XXL, and ships it to Ben Schumin
<KemloCaesar> if i was writing a word scramble for small children, I'd avoid using the word "trackhoe"
<Lore> Wasn't Jamesway the starship captain of VoyaGAAAKH!
<Samwise> Y'all don't have Boogart's anywhere else, do you?
<Lore> Nope, just in my nosGAAAAKH!
<StanXhiao> As a matter of fact, we visited a Piggly Wiggly this summer when we were up in the Midwest.
<Samwise> And I've yet to go to a Piggly Wiggly.
<StanXhiao> 500 different kinds of beer and cheese, and a great selection of Wonder bread and Banquet frozen entrees.
<jacquilyn> Now, but have you ever been to a Foody Goody?
<StanXhiao> I've been to a Roundy's, though.
<jacquilyn> Which, admittedly is a restaurant chain raher than a grocery store chain, but, eh, it has that same name quality.
<StanXhiao> Foody Goody?
<StanXhiao> Go on!
<Samwise> Hinky Dinky
<Elkman> We have boring store names here: Cub Foods, Rainbow Foods, Lunds, and Byerly's.
<jacquilyn> Plus, foody goody has the advantage of being a chinese restaurant so it ahs the added bonus of racial stereotyping thrown in.
<StanXhiao> oh, ha ha ha!
<StanXhiao> Velly funny!
* KemloCaesar lives near a Fuddrucker's.
<StanXhiao> no comment
<StanXhiao> Kemlo, do they have to publish the names of sexual offenders in your local newspaper?
<jacquilyn> Fuddrucker's rules.
<KemloCaesar> Stan - I have no idea. Why?
<Lore> We have a Fuddrucker's too.
<Samwise> Wow, they have Fuddrucker's up yonder?
<StanXhiao> Otherwise, how would you know you live near a Fuddrucker?
<Lore> And Smuckers jam.
<Lore> And Buckmister Fuller.
<Elkman> I have a Fuddrucker's near me too.
<StanXhiao> Smucker's... now there's a fine name, Lore.
<jacquilyn> I'v enever lived ner a Fuddrucker's that I know of. But I have visted themwhile on vacation.
<StanXhiao> Round and fruity, like young Ben.
<KemloCaesar> with a name like Smucker's, you know Tieboy's old boss would love it.
<StanXhiao> We have a Hooters in our town.
<Elkman> Yeah, we have one in the Mall of America. But it's not a grocery store. It's more of a meat market.
<StanXhiao> Meat jam?
<TMR> In Steak, Pork, and Bacon flavors.
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