Mother always told me there's nothing crasser than a jam-stained cunt.


<Lore> What was Shannon's original sig?
<agent_orange> something like that
<Kyol> "I'd toss tie's salad _any_ day!"
<agent_orange> "Daddy says I got a pussy tight as a mouse's ear"
<Lore> I'm not following the logic on the last bit of this thread. It may be dumbness.
<Freyja> "I (mouth) Temp Dong"
<agent_orange> ghahaha
<Lore> Is the implication that itsby is Shannon, and that that indicates that Shannon is probably not 16 because (s)he's questioning h(is|er) own age on the foruM?
* CrazyClimber touches nose
<agent_orange> My unit lost a lotta guys at Temp Dong...
<Kyol> ro-bot roll call!
<agent_orange> Temp dong. Shit. I was still only in Temp Dong.
<Lore> I'm trying to get into character here.
<Lore> I am, let's say, a 31-year-old man.
<ristoril> what's your motivation?
<agent_orange> Apaperclip Now, starring Chris Livingston
<Lore> And I am pretending to be an adolescent girl who wants to drink Chris's man juice like Yoo-Hoo.
<CrazyClimber> so it was you?!
<CrazyClimber> it was either me or rist.
<ristoril> and i was busy catching up on the rest of that thread
<Lore> So, in addition to posting all sorts of provocative "I gots fuck-me lips" postings, I also leap on under an assumed name -- and question my own veractity.
<agent_orange> Elkman? Is that you? ...
<agent_orange> spooky...
<Lore> Why?
<agent_orange> Perhaps you got lonely for you
<Lore> Also, why did I slip a "tit" into "veracity"?
<Draymoor> Freudian Slip
<agent_orange> slip a dick into her ass vicinity
<Lore> My best guess is that the conversation was slipping away from "Shannon's" fuckability, and "she" wanted it moved back thereto.
<spinn> lore: no, the implication is that she made a new account to stir up conversation about herself again
<Lore> Ah, okay.
<Lore> Yeah, I'm seeing that.
*** Feeboo ( has joined #spinnwebe
<Feeboo> But why is Lore SO FUCKING HOT?
<ristoril> or maybe chris moved out to ohio and is living with her, and he created a new account for #sw, but posts from her house
<spinn> well, there is a chance she's in some sort of shared environment where that could plausibly happen
<Draymoor> Like a harem?
<spinn> and someone else she knows is messing with her
<spinn> but I'll go with the simpler option: she's a dink
<agent_orange> I think her brain is a shared environment
<Draymoor> Well, at least she can multitask then.
<agent_orange> I double dog dare you to call her a dink
<Lore> "There is not enough memory available to open 'Thoughts About Anything Else.' Would you like to close 'Thoughts About Myself'? [OK] [CANCEL]"
<agent_orange> WindowsMEMEMEME
<Lore> Jeez, you're in rare form today, AgtO. Get laid or something?
<agent_orange> I don't *think* so...
<agent_orange> lemme check
<spinn> sfx: SQUAWK
<Lore> Darn those roofies.
<agent_orange> <Honey? Did we have sex relations? ... No? ... Well, you don't have to be so ... hey, shut up!>
<agent_orange> uh, no.
<Draymoor> I do hope you remembered to put her back in the closet.
<Lore> I can see AgtO walking into his living room, buncha frat boys passed out on the floor and couch. "Hey! Any a you fuck me last night?"
<Lore> "Mrrrnmmnn..."
<ristoril> "did *I* fuck any of *you* last night?"
<spinn> "AY! I'm feelin' perky 'n glowy 'n shit! Which onna you mooks schtupped me?!"
<ristoril> a couple of meek-looking guys point at the nutria cages
<Lore> "I know I didn't draw 'FUCK ME HERE' on my OWN buttocks!"
* agent_orange holds up condom
<agent_orange> any of you honchos lose something?
<spinn> <dml> you know, roger doesn't use condoms
<Lore> "And while we're at it, who saved over my SSX Tricky settings?"
<CrazyClimber> oh, speaking of which, does everybody know that hockeyboi has a livejournal?
<Lore> Oh, DO TELL!
<agent_orange> AHHHgh
<ristoril> well, now i do, and it's going to take hours of prime-time television to cleanse that thought from my head
<agent_orange> ptoo ptoo
<Freyja> where's that training quote now...
<Lore> I like how we have a satire crucible/tearoom going here.
<Draymoor> You mean how we make fun of everyone and everything we know?
<agent_orange> I bet if you comb your beard, we get get a whole 'nother plate of ladyfingers
<CrazyClimber> although my favorite part is about halfway down
<CrazyClimber> the 9:11 pm entry, the part that begins "Oh, and a side note"
<Lore> Oh, this is fun.
<spinn> sigh
<spinn> and I went and read it
<spinn> really I can only blame myself
<ristoril> i can't believe i actually pasted that, scrolled down, and didn't stop at "anal training"
<spinn> yeah, me neither
<Lore> Wasn't talking about that kind of tearoom, AgtO.
<spinn> might as well just barrel on through at that point
<Lore> I'm just thinking that #spinnwebe is a great place to mock bad Web sites, AND for gay guys to hook up and get laid!
<agent_orange> oh, you mean the sucking-cock-in-the-public-rest-area type tearoom
<Lore> It's a dessert topping AND a floor wax!
<Draymoor> Oh I really did not need to read that...
<ristoril> kids, thank bob for sharing that with us
<Lore> Anal training is so passe.
<agent_orange> oh, dear
<agent_orange> I'm in love with a wonderful man, I miss him dearly, I feel naked without his collar around my neck. ???? Sounds corney..
<agent_orange> yeah, corny, like old Doris Day movies
<Lore> I'm working on getting a Giant Pocky into my urethra.
<antihero> what a wealth of information about hockers' rectum
<CrazyClimber> after that sandwich i had, mine could use some too
<ristoril> ...damn near killed him
<spinn> no, more like
<spinn> rectum? damn near mmpBLEEAARRRGHHH
<ristoril> CC: what does 'some' refer to?
<ristoril> oh, and 'mine'
<ristoril> just because at this point in the conversation i'm not willing to let my mind go off on any tangents or theories
<Freyja> aw give him a break. He's just a fool in love. Aren't we all just longing for cuddles, shared secrets and a gaping 8 inch asshole?
<Draymoor> At this point in the conversation, I'm trying to shut down memory retension.
<agent_orange> What I want is a butthole that'll hold a dinner plate on display
<agent_orange> then I'm going on trading spaces
<Lore> Or, alternatively, DINGO-ASSHOLE-LICKING.
<GhostKoder> This converstaion is gay.*
<GhostKoder> (*That's a joke)
<agent_orange> shut up,you little cunt
<Freyja> handy footnote! * (*that's sarcasm)
*** mdxi has joined #spinnwebe
<GhostKoder> agto summons mdxi!
<Samwise> Hrmm.... no, I'd have to say that's clearly for you. Cunt.
<antihero> hrm. wonder if hock has a printout of the goatse dude printed out and thumbtacked up in the "training" room for inspiration
<Lore> I think this is all pretty self-indulgent. If your asshole is big enough to accept you wallet, a water bottle, and maybe a protein bar, you don't really NEED any more.
<ristoril> I could put my grandfather's antique derby in my anus and take it on antiques roadshow
<ristoril> "what we have here seems to be an antique Derby made by J Derby & Sons, held in place by...
<ristoril> ...think you could meet me after the show, son? You'd be surprised to learn what an asshole that can stretch that big is worth."
<Lore> Ordered your semen sweetener yet, Greg?
<agent_orange> Which Greg, you nordic asshopper?
<spinn> guh!
<spinn> lore, I was just now reading the bottle, after having removed it from the shipping box
<Lore> Thats "The rare-but-majestic nordic asshopper" to you, AgtO.
<ristoril> and i just read a post about how asparagus theoretically enhances semen taste on a totally unrelated board
<ristoril> not that that holds the shock value it once did
<Lore> The problem is getting the woman to lick an unrelated board.
<GhostKoder> nd celery improves ejaculatory distance.
<Lore> "I came on this for you, honey!"
<GhostKoder> tell us soemthing we don't know.
<ristoril> you're a cunt
<ristoril> no wait, that's been covered
<GhostKoder> By definition, I'm not, since I'm not a woman, but perhaps you already knew that.
<Samwise> Whatever, cunt.
<GhostKoder> alternatively, "Thanks a bunch, captain obvious."
<Lore> Actually, GK, cunts are only one part of women.
<mdxi> neither is a woman a cunt, by definition, you cunt
<GhostKoder> cunt n 1: a woman who is thoroughly disliked; "she said her son thought Hilary was a bitch" [syn: {bitch}]
<Lore> For instance, they also have tits.
<mdxi> that's from the OED, i suppose
<Lore> Okay, I'm starting to agree with the others. You're a cunt.
<Draymoor> Ghost, Thus, cunt is a double insult.
<spinn> unless it's delivered by many people on channel, in which case it numbers in the teens
<agent_orange> Do I hear "Fucking Cunt"? Going once...
<Lore> I bet you liked to point out that a faggot is a bundle of sticks in Junior High, didn't you?
<ristoril> teenage cunt?
<GhostKoder> No.
<GhostKoder> Well, yes.
<agent_orange> and that "asshole" is consodered a compliment among certain minority groups?
<ristoril> ok, i'll call you Teenage Cunt from now on
<spinn> you worked it out of him
<Samwise> "You're calling me a bundle of sticks? 'Cause, you know, that's whatOOF OW FUCK STOPIT OW"
<GhostKoder> I also came in second place in every spelling bee I was in. c u n t
<ristoril> well, at least you're a grammatically correct cunt
<Lore> Did that cunt Debbie Venemeyer keep beating you at it?
<GhostKoder> I cunt recall.
<antihero> second place? fucking loser.
<GhostKoder> antihero: No, fucking cunt.
<GhostKoder> haven't you been paying attentoin?>
<spinn> huh, I had a never-released brainshot about being pissed that debbie clifford beat me in a spelling bee in second grade
<antihero> to-MAY-to, to-MAH-to
<GhostKoder> Ok, enough self-defecation for one day.
<spinn> lore's all kindsa knockin' around in my head today
*** GhostKoder is now known as GK-work
<Lore> Fuck. I can't get ops to kick GK.
*** Mode change "+o Lore" on channel #spinnwebe by ristoril
<Lore> Thank you.
<agent_orange> how about GK-Gone
<CrazyClimber> GK-Away rhymes nicely
<CrazyClimber> i'll spray some around the channel
<mdxi> wait! come back and tell me how .NET will innovate my revolutionary e-commerce online web-sperience!
*** GK-work has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by Lore (I can't stands no more.)
*** GK-work has joined #spinnwebe
<Lore> THANK you.
<ristoril> websperience?
<Draymoor> cuntsperiance
<ristoril> did someone actually say that, in real life?
<CrazyClimber> mdxi just did
<Lore> I don't do that often, but "cunt recall" may deserve it even more than offering Heather unsolicited cock.
<ristoril> wow, overusing the word 'cunt' made that 20 minutes fly by pretty quick
<GK-work> mdxi: No, but it will help you leverage your synergistic co-branding experience allowing you to revolutionize your b2b consumer web vortal.
*** GK-work has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by Lore (Of course, I could get used to it.)
*** GK-work has joined #spinnwebe
<mdxi> careful or you'll wear out all the shock value and 20 years from now dictionaries will read: "cunt /kunt/: n., a small napkin for resting tea-cups upon"
<Lore> "The Ladies Knitting Society will be here in fifteen minutes! Do you know where the cunts are?"
<Lore> "These cunts are filthy. Mother always told me there's nothing crasser than a jam-stained cunt."
<agent_orange> I can't win. I call the little pecker a cunt, and all that happens is, "Cunt? What in interesting word. Like a little bear. Or a demitasse cup..."
<ristoril> "Gladys called me up and said they just left Doris' house, I'm guessing mid-town."
<Lore> "There's nothing more charming than seeing fresh cunts all laid out in front of you."
<GK-work> ristoril: You didn't say cunt. You lose #spinnwebe cunt roulette.
<ristoril> shut up, cunt
<Lore> Jesus, I think I'm thirteen again. This is really amusing me.
<agent_orange> "When you're done stirring, rest the spoon in your cunt."
<CrazyClimber> "does the cunt go on the left or the right of the plate?"
<agent_orange> "Steady, Dear. You're slopping all over your cunt."
<Lore> "We won't have anything less than the finest cunts from Amsterdam, you know."
<tieboy> "Honey, wipe a cunt over your mouth."
<agent_orange> "These cunts look Chinese!"
<GK-work> "This cunt has excellent absorbant power."
<ristoril> "A proper Lady only uses her cunt in the proper situations. "
<antihero> "Whose dirty cunt is this?"
<tieboy> "I tore my cunt to shreds."
<ristoril> "Oh goodness, what a travesty! There's not enough cunts for all the guests I've invited!"
<agent_orange> Once the lions have finished dining, the jackals appraoch the buffalo carcass..
<antihero> "Oh dear, I spilled my tea, and now my cunt is just SOPPING wet."
<Lore> "Don't look now, dear, but I think the cat's about to start licking your cunt."
<CrazyClimber> "oh dear, a spill. may i borrow your cunt?"
<Lore> "We've tried to train him not to do that, but you know how it is."
<Samwise> "Oh, dear. Here, let me use your cunt to clean this up."
<antihero> "Marcy, don't you DARE touch Helen's cunt without asking!"
<ristoril> "Waiter, I dropped my cunt on the floor, could I get a new one, please?"
<Samwise> "Ooooo, what lovely cuntrings!"
<antihero> "And I'll be back in just a second with some extra cunts for everyone"
<ristoril> "I heard he's only marrying her because he doesn't own a *single* cunt!"
<CrazyClimber> "how many times did you fold that cunt to get it to stand up like that?"
<Lore> "Oh, I know. Our pomeranian, Twinkle, once ran into the room, grabbed my cunt with her teeth and started gnawing on it."
<agent_orange> "My pussy is dripping wet -- can you spare a cunt for me to squat over?"
<Lore> "So there I am, looking down at this tiny dog shaking my cunt back and forth, growling all the while! I was appalled."
<Lore> "And with all the ladies looking on!"
<Samwise> "No, your cunt does NOT belong around your neck. Put it on your lap."
<ristoril> "When I masturbate, I use Trojan Brand Cunts to hold my love potion. They're better at soaking up my man butter than any cunt on the market. Don't get your cunt off a street vendor, buy Trojan Brand Cunts today!"
<Lore> Well, now you're just being silly.
<ristoril> oh, sorry
<ristoril> GK is a big fucking cunt
<GK-work> When you're done masturbating you should use a cunt to clean up the mess.
<agent_orange> "They ran out of plates at the buffet, so I was forcved to use my cunt to carry my sandwich."
<Lore> We try to have a SERIOUS conversation ONCE in a WHILE and you have to RUIN it.
<GK-work> s/use/get
<agent_orange> Yeah, you litle prick
*** GK-work has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by Lore (This is kinda fun, actually.)
*** GK-work has joined #spinnwebe
* CrazyClimber longs for the ops he so callously shucked off earlier
<Lore> Op shucker.
<Samwise> "I didn't want to say anything to Helen... but her cunts were all frayed."
<antihero> "ugh, I stepped in something, can I wipe my shoe on your cunt?"

Heather Garvey / Raven /
I want to submit a log!