She said "low-budget"?
* wabewalkr tried to convince his friend Jason to do a strip, with elements from his life.
<wabewalkr> But people wouldn't have believed it.
<wabewalkr> Like the time snails were crawling across the bedroom window, and their shells were making these scraping noises.
<wabewalkr> His mom freaked out and called 911 requesting that a priest come over to perform an exorcism.
<mdxi> you're right
<yoshi> go read goats.com its funny as hell
<Lots42> That's an idea. I've had a fucked up life.
<mdxi> that (1) would make a good comic and (2) is completely unbelievable
<LimePi> yoshi- goatse.cx funny?
<LimePi> (yes, that's sarcasm, people)
<wabewalkr> It's true!
<mdxi> early goats is good
<mdxi> wabewalkr: i believe you. but i was agreeing with you.
<Lots42> I agree. Latter goats made me confused and sexually unsure of myself
<wabewalkr> His mom had a bipolar disorder.
<yoshi> no. its really funny. in a non anal rape way
<mdxi> yoshi: when the fuck did you get here?
<yoshi> 45 minutes or so.
<mdxi> i missed it
<mdxi> LARGE SURPRISE
<wabewalkr> She once called me up and spent an hour telling me that Jason had did something horrible, something unspeakable.
<Lots42> I wonder if I have any ice cream left
<Lots42> What, Jason spooged on grandma's hat?
<wabewalkr> I kept asking her, "What? What did he do?"
<Lots42> Raped Aunty Marie through the ears
<wabewalkr> And she would respond, "I can't tell you, it's so horrible. Oh, I have to call a priest!"
<Dodge> Jason is always up to something
<Lots42> Did you ever find out what he did?
<wabewalkr> Finally, I said, "If you don't tell me I'm going to hang up."
<wabewalkr> So she told me.
<yoshi> yeah, he killed all those people on friday the 13th
<Dodge> "Never trust a brother in a hockey mask." That's my motto.
<wabewalkr> "Jason has been taking his friend James down to Hollywood and they have been making low-budget porno movies."
<Dodge> It applies in so many situations, you'd be amazed.
<spinn> she said "low-budget"?
<Lots42> Was he doing that for real?
<wabewalkr> I had to hang up, I was so pissed.
<wabewalkr> Of course not.
<Dodge> One time, I went to Chicago and split a hotel room with this guy...but that...is another story.
<Lots42> 'Dear Playgirl, I never thought this would happen to me...'
<wabewalkr> He would mention something off the cuff and she'd extrapolate it into a full-fledged adventure.
<spinn> the low-budget part throws me.
<wabewalkr> We were in the mall once and this guy walked by wearing sunglasses and a suit.
<yoshi> i was fucking your sister this one time...
<Lots42> I wonder what someone would have to do to have porn-maker attributed to them
<wabewalkr> So she realized that the Mob was going to gun her down. She dragged us into J.C. Penny's and made us hide in dressing rooms.
<Dodge> Would she have been cool with it if they had been well-financed pornos?
<wabewalkr> She was upset because James was 15.
<Lots42> You could get into a dressing room without summoning the magical key-bearing employee?
<wabewalkr> This was early 80s, lots.
<Dodge> There's a special "hiding from the mob" waiver that Penny's accomodates.
<wabewalkr> She was entertaining in a terrifying way.
<Dodge> You know, when I joined the AF, I went down to the office building there. They had the Army, the Navy, the Marines, the Coast Guard, various Reserve and National Guard units, and the Merchant Marine.
<Lots42> According to 'King Of Queens' mothers and daughters regularly undress each other in dressing rooms with doors so small the heads and shoulders can be seen
<Dodge> There was no mafia recruiter.
<Lots42> No, wait, this was 'Grounded For Life'
<Lots42> King is just another fucked up dysfunctional sitcom family that doesn't realize the slightest bit of communication would solve so many problems
<Dodge> I was very disappointed.
<wabewalkr> Well, you know how to apply to the NSA, don't you?
<LimePi> Changing rooms are usually monitored by security cameras, with leering staff manning them.
<wabewalkr> Walk over to the thermostat, say "Hello, NSA. I would like a job application."
<mdxi> the CIA was recruiting at my school
<mdxi> their job flyers were funny
<Dodge> The NSA depends on me to keep the thermostat comm working.
*** maimes has joined channel #spinnwebe.
<MrLuke> [maimes] She may be a bitch but she'll never be butch.
<maimes> Aimee's Therapy line is open and accepting calls!
<wabewalkr> I think maime is our local NSA spook.
<Dodge> Yeah, that was kinda fishy
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