|The Magic and Mystery of Dan
- dan, we're running out of garden implements to beat you with. Added May 7, 2002
- The price of a humourous website about Abe Vigoda is eternal vigilance. Added May 2, 2002
- It's like scribbling on a bar napkin. except with secret wanking immediately thereafter. Added April 8,2002
- DML big frets what, spelled different, butts out balls Added October 8, 2001
- Analingus. Tossed salad. WHY IS EVERYTHING I SAY SO COMPLICATED TO YOU?! Added October 2, 2001
- you know, dan, the group's general expectation was that, as you got older, your head would proceed outwards from your anal cavity Added October 2, 2001
- fellating the poodle while smearing vaseline on my inner thighs while laughing
<spinn> that's a /really/ crappy haiku.
- Funny, I always thought kemlo would be the first to snap.
<SeanQ> DML: that thingie next to your computer - you
can move it around your desk and it makes the pointer move on the screen
<SeanQ> tomorrow I'll explain what 'click' means
<DML> SeanQ: I'm not stupid.
<CrazyClimber> don't get too internal, sean
<CrazyClimber> gotta watch out for those functionings
<DML> I THOUGHT I EXPLAINED THIS BEFORE
<DML> I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH COMPUTERS. I JUST DON'T
WANT TO BE A PROGRAMMER
<SeanQ> DML: of course not, you're 'special'
<SeanQ> with enough time and patience, you can learn
<CrazyClimber> and run in races
* SeanQ gives DML a biscuit
- This will never die, will it?
<DanielMLaenker> Like, I've got 2 or 4 pair of undies
that are kind of stained, and I don't know if I should sell them.
I don't feel good giving them away, but I'd likely get hellish dough
selling them to some perverted fetishist.
- Pimping for Da Man
<DMLaenker> If you got paid $500 immediately and $10 an hour, would you spam people?
<jacquilyn> Hmmm. No.
<StanXhiao> DML: No.
* CrazyClimber mailbombs DML for even thinking about it.
- Dan's Career
<spinn> yeah. I hear there'll be some kinda
rug-weaving jobs open after everybody else does computer jobs
<Raven> Actually, rug-weaving software already exists.
- THAT'S THE WAY THE NANITES LIKE IT!
<DMLaenker> In a future where we're all alike I won't
be thinking enough for art or creativity. I'll be too busy flying and
<spinn> yeah. flying makes you smug
<spinn> damn flying bastards
* hockeyfag won't touch the self-satisfied part
<TMR> Masturbating flying people holding hands...
- #spinnwebe Debates the State of Computing
<DMLaenker> Just what kind of federal government
was established to reinforce my chastity?
- I have a sudden, burning fire in my loins Added September 21, 2001
* KemloCaesar considers pissing on his keyboard.
<KemloCaesar> just as a response to you all.
<Elkman> And that would hurt us... how?
<zompist> i think, indeed, that fouling your own
possessions is the noblest response to ruffianism
- Hot Toothless Down-Syndrome Kids *Love* Anal Action. Added September 10, 2001
* KemloCaesar is feeling all weird. Apparently, I'm not
emotionally mature enough to be sentenced to three to five years in
<KemloCaesar> Community service instead
<CrazyClimber> of course, since in this case
"community service" means "blowing the cops," it works out for
- ass-love means condemnation to the underworld?
<KemloCaesar> anyone know what it means to gauss, as in
to de-gauss your monitor?
<SoiledGreen> you take a baseball bat to it.
<raven> and then set it on fire.
<SoiledGreen> and dance naked around it.
<Leth> urinatin- oh wait, that's keyboard
<Darren> well, if gaussing is the opposite of
de-gaussing, you just wave big fucking magnets all over the screen
until the picture deforms
<mdxi> you wrap tantalum-neodymium wiring arounf it
and then connect the ends to a 3.8957GeV power source
<SoiledGreen> and throw it in the bathtub and jump in.
<mdxi> then bombard it with a pure nertron stream for
at least 45 seconds
- a bloated whale corpse is topologically equivalent to a hand grenade
<KemloCaesar> tie, scooters wouldn't explode.
<tieboy> YES THANK YOU KEMLO
<tieboy> see... non-exploding scooters not as fun to talk about as exploding ones
<tieboy> therefore, pretend scooters explode
<tieboy> makes more fun talky
- He gets high on vinegar
<spinn> it's a shame paul will wind up high on
paint thinner fumes and start writing checks to his game boy and
flashlights and stuff
- SIR REQUEST PERMISSION TO POOP SIR
<Dodge> "I'm sorry sir, are you a registered user of the Air Force Personnel Termination System? If not, you'll have to take these forms and have them approved by chain of command, then resubmit them to our office and wait 7-10 working days for approval. At that time, you may terminate the Air Force Personnel you wish to execute. Thank you."
- "Goose has a paper cut!"
<spinn> just say a very special tech
sergeant is soon gonna find himself a consignment of extra shiny paper
<spinn> by the sound of it, an air force sergeant
should be thrilled
<Thosw> Of course... those are $500 paper clips
<sol-D> that shine isn't free, you know
<Dodge> Lord knows we need em, we exhausted our
office supply budget for FY 2001 three weeks ago
||sol-D / TMR
- "How to tell your children about TMR's Dong" Added November 12, 2001
<spinn> q: "dear tmr's dong: I have a neighbor who
refuses to reign in his noisy dog. what should I do?"
<spinn> a: "I am so very, very lonely."
- sorry, you can't un-blow that schlong
<sol-D> Most of my creative energies are spent trying to
figure out what to do. then I'm left with nothing, and have to go blow
<spinn> man is that "innocent sol-d" cover just so
whisked away now
||Maime, Sweetbus Driver
- Don't defend me, leper. Added November 7, 2001
<GhostCoder> Leper? I'm the Handy Man to your
<tieboy> get away
- Er, I'm not following you Added March 3, 2002
<Machival> I meant you. okay, here... you said "I
got lucky" and I said "also, he was fortunate in that he got the
demo." trying to make it so that when you said "I got lucky", you
were talking about something else.
- cluck cluck [fweeee] BAWK! clcuck cluck [phllbblbl] buGAWK!
<KemloCaesar> Why didn't the duck try a grocery store?
<tieboy> Maybe the guy in the store could have ordered
some for him.
<Agent_Orange> Why would a duck want raisins anyway?
<Leth> Funny, I didn't think ducks would even like
raisins. Raisin BREAD maybe, I guess....
* Samwise gets the Ass Kicking Machine ready
- There isn't enough marmalade in my immediate vicinity.
<spinn> people might get confused and not realise
<bablunchich> So its shoes trumpet?
<spinn> tho paradoxically she plays the flute
<spinn> which is why we're calling her shoozfloot
<spinn> to give her that self-confidence boost so she
can admit to the instrument she plays
- Lawn mower. Rock. Kyol's head. Much bleeding. Added September 18, 2001
<Kyol> Nah, was walking back to my building from our
data center, neighbor was mowing his lawn with a riding mower. I
looked and noticed "hey, look, the exhaust side is facing me", a
second later there was a "kerthunk" of the rock hitting the blades.
<agent_orange> then "Ptoo!"
<agent_orange> yipe yipe yipe yipe
|Just About Everyone