This will never die, will it?
<DanielMLaenker> Like, I've got 2 or 4 pair of undies that are kind of stained, and I don't know if I should sell them. I don't feel good giving them away, but I'd likely get hellish dough selling them to some perverted fetishist.
<Samwise_> Dude, *nothing* is too good to give away.
<DanielMLaenker> ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
<SeanQ> jesus christ on the shitter, I can't believe this conversation is happening
<Samwise_> Stained undies?
<DanielMLaenker> Well, eventually they become small and stained, don't they?
<Samwise_> Bleach the helloutta them, and use them to dust your furniture.
<Samwise_> And youthink someone wants to *buy* them??
<StanXhiao> It's not the undies that are becoming small, Dan...
<DanielMLaenker> That's not quite what I meant.
<StanXhiao> Dan, if you were Gwyneth Paltrow or Richard Hatch, maybe then someone would want to purchase your soiled undies...
<ristoril> i think stan just implied that DML is getting hung as time goes on
<StanXhiao> ristoroil: not that, actually
<StanXhiao> Nobody wants to buy an ordinary person's undies
<Samwise_> ...or Earl Wilson...
<DanielMLaenker> This is much more trouble than it's worth
<kaufman> I saw you're selling stained undies. Could you send me a picture of ...
<DanielMLaenker> Yes, this IS much more trouble than it's worth
<DanielMLaenker> In fact, I'm dreadful sorry I asked
<StanXhiao> Well, on the other hand, people have sold stained FC sheets on eBay
<StanXhiao> Dan, will you provide swatches on request?
<StanXhiao> like Haband?
<DanielMLaenker> Slap watches?
<StanXhiao> fabric samples
<kaufman> sell it as a stained glass window, except it's made of cotton, rather than glass, and you can't see through it
<ristoril> just take it all down to GW, they'll sort out what they want
<StanXhiao> Say that Michael Jackson once had his hand inside them
<DanielMLaenker> Just... just forget I asked
<DanielMLaenker> Actually, that's too much
<SeanQ> *** raven updates the quotes
<DanielMLaenker> I'll just rescind my question and give the stuff away
<Samwise_> Dude, trust me... old undies make *great* furniture polish rags.
<SeanQ> dan: maybe you should offer a service, have people send you their clean underwear, and you can stain it up and sell it on eBay, then split the profits
<ristoril> unless it has holes in it
<SeanQ> beats telemarketing
<Samwise_> Even with holes. It's a rag, crumple it into a wad & wipe down your credenza.
<SeanQ> "Skid Row Sales", Dan Laenker, Owner/Proprietor
<DanielMLaenker> Yah, it's either selling clothing that doesn't fit or calling people.
<DanielMLaenker> Unless I can possibly find an inbound gig
<Samwise_> inbound is a lot nicer.
<ristoril> JCPenny, Dillards, etc all make killings selling clothes that don't fit
<SeanQ> you mean like that stuff in hockeyfag's basement?
<Samwise_> They actually *want* to talk to you.
<ristoril> you might as well jemp on the gravy train
<DanielMLaenker> Goddammit, I feel poorSam: have you done that before?
<DanielMLaenker> That should have been two quotes
<StanXhiao> Who in God's name is Poor Sam?
<DanielMLaenker> Sam: have you done inbound?
<DanielMLaenker> Goddammit, I feel poor
<StanXhiao> Is that your "invisible pal" or something?
<DanielMLaenker> and to think I live in an urbane high-market neighborhood
<StanXhiao> and no, I've never felt Poor Sam before
<DanielMLaenker> Goddammit, I feel poor | Sam: have you done that before?
<DanielMLaenker> Is that better?
<StanXhiao> Poor Richard's Almanack; Poor Sam's Stained Briefs
<DanielMLaenker> This will never die, will it?
<SeanQ> not if I have anything to say about it, nope
<StanXhiao> No doubt it will be immortalized somewher
<ristoril> hopefully in the back corner of an unused office
<ristoril> but more likely it'll bea major motion picture
<StanXhiao> at least the furniture won't be dusty there
<StanXhiao> Ah, movie title: DML:BVD
* SeanQ pictures Dan starring in a Tony Robbins-esque infomercial... "Incontinence: The Fast Lane to Financial Independence!"
<DanielMLaenker> All holy hell and frying kittens
<SeanQ> and the accompanying book, "Dan Laenker: Would I Shit You?"
<Samwise_> DML: only briefly.
<SeanQ> ooohhhhhh... kick sam kick kick kick
<DanielMLaenker> Oh, for God's sake, you have to turn earnest questions into puns now
<DanielMLaenker> Fine, since GEICO ignored me into rejection I guess I'll call Circulation Marketing and see about working weekends
*** Mr-Ben (Benman13@AC9ECA6C.ipt.aol.com) has joined channel #spinnwebe
<DanielMLaenker> Hey, Ben.
<StanXhiao> Hey Ben, pull up a seat
<StanXhiao> Might want to wipe 'er down first, though
<StanXhiao> Ask Dan for a dustrag
* Mr-Ben wheels in his own chair.
* DanielMLaenker flings my briefs at Stan
* ristoril waves dollar bills in the air
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