maybe he had one of those itches, y'know, really deep in his butt.

<Kyol> Mmmm: http://dailypress.com/news/stories/87795sy0.htm
<raven> yeah, we found that yesterday, Kyol. I already got hte chance to mock lots about it.
<ristoril> hahaha you go to McD's and you expect the food to be good?
<spinn> here's how it got there: IT WAS A MISTAKE
<ristoril> Ortega said several co-workers have told her that she was correct to alert the public
<Kyol> Yeah, a chicken with a head made it to the cuber.
<spinn> I wonder if this woman knows about the legally allowed amount of bug poop in cereal
<ristoril> at least she has the support of her probably very knowledgeable coworkers
<ristoril> you know, considering she thinks McD's chicken wings are an appropriate family dinner
<raven> Or the fact that chickens aren't born and raised as small, breaded cubes.
<Samwise> This is the reason I'm sure the kentucky fried rat didn't happen... if it did, it would've gotten at least *some* press.
<ristoril> i think it's fucking cool
<ristoril> they should make a contest out of it
<Samwise> The picture rules.
<ristoril> 'can you put together a whole chicken'?
<Kyol> But what she DIDN'T know is that the HEAD is the BEST PART.
<spinn> yeah, geez...plus the kid angle
<spinn> "my five year old might've bit into it"
<spinn> bahaha.
<spinn> yeah, and if you hadn't found it, your kid might've bit into...MCDONALD'S FRIED CHICKEN
<ristoril> "I kept thinking about my children eating it," Ortega said.
<ristoril> hehe
<ristoril> so she's a fetishist
<spinn> "because my children are rock stupid, and would happily munch on beak, eyes, and brain"
<spinn> my five year old might've eaten it.
<spinn> bahaha, man.
<spinn> I'm gonna need an insert function in brainshots
<spinn> I'd want to put that in for tomorrow but I don't have one yet
<Samwise> I wonder if the box had the right number of wings plus the head, or if the head was counted as one of the wings.
<spinn> really
<spinn> she should've thought about that
<spinn> a woman buys pig's fet, bring them home, cooks them
<spinn> puts them on a plate, gets a fork
<spinn> then says, "wait a minute...I'm about to eat *pig's feet*!"
<spinn> "the supermarket sold me pig's feet!"
<spinn> and gets all disgusted and calls her local tv station
<Kyol> See, the whole "wing" bit is getting me.
<Kyol> They're nondescript "nuggets".
<Samwise> Ah... I figured it was a local thing.
<spinn> I wonder if she went out for hot dogs instead.
<Samwise> Like, a McD's test market for actual wings.
<CrazyClimber> sam - yeah, i didn't understand why you'd get wings from mcd's.
<CrazyClimber> i also figured it was a local thing.
<Samwise> But they could have said "nuggets"... why do they say "wings"?
<raven> The Peninsula health department says that there?s nothing physically wrong with eating a fried chicken head. All the bacteria and organisms in the chicken brain, once fried at more than 240 degrees, will die. Even the beak will crunch apart in your mouth.
<maime> I still think it has nothing on the time I found a bandaid in my salad.
<Kyol> maime: See, that makes sense. That's an end-creation problem. Imagine how many times the full head had a chance to be seen and filtered out before being sold to a customer.
<maime> yeah but bandaids don't grow on lettuce.
<Samwise> maime: how many bites into it were you?
<maime> about twelve
<spinn> did it squish?
<maime> it was in the bottom of the salad.
<Kyol> But whomever was making salads that day could've been wearing a bandaid and had it slip off while they were tossing it, or such.
<CrazyClimber> was it used?
<spinn> any bloodstains on it?
<Samwise> was it discolored?
<maime> yes. and yes
<raven> any pus?
<CrazyClimber> freshly used?
<maime> but it was a rasberry vinegrette
<spinn> was it piquant?
<maime> it was shaped like a finger.
<raven> Was it one of those cartoon bandaids
<maime> and it still had a finger attached.
<spinn> hm, you should've kept digging in the salad. maybe the finger was there too
<CrazyClimber> or the see-through kind?
<maime> oh wait. that was the nightmare later.
<raven> Did the finger have a manicure?
<Kyol> spinn: Chef's salad?
<spinn> who'd you call first?
<CrazyClimber> was it a hairy finger?
<maime> It was the slightly clear bandaid kind.
<maime> well not bandaid brand.
<maime> and to be honest I didn't look that carefully.
<maime> I went to the bathroom and lost the rest of what I'd eaten.
<Samwise> did you sue?
<spinn> how many months thereafter did you make your own food?
<maime> after I walked into the kitchen and tried to call the manager
<CrazyClimber> would you get another salad with that ingredient?
<maime> I won't eat at the place where I got it.
<maime> and it was four months before I ate food that I didn't prepare.
<Samwise> Have you ever been able to eat raspberry vinegrette since?
<maime> with one exception.
<maime> there is a fish restaurant where the woman who owns it is like a mother to me.
<maime> I ate there twice in those four months.
<maime> but I cried both times
<Samwise> did she have a band-aid?
<maime> and she gave me hugs.
<maime> no people in her restaurant wear gloves whenever they are around food.
<spinn> how long were you on the phone with the nurse who toild you there wasn't anything you could do until you had any symptoms?
<maime> at least a half an hour.
<maime> sobbing.
<raven> Did you take an AIDS test?
<CrazyClimber> i think edible bandaids is the next logical step after edible underwear.
<spinn> was the salad good before you found the bandaid?
<maime> Unfortunately it was the best salad.
<maime> they were my fave.
<Kyol> Well sure, they put their blood into it.
<Samwise> do you know people who'd've picked out the nasty, and continued eating?
<maime> no
<CrazyClimber> was it a salad bar or prepared in the kitchen?
<maime> prepared in the kitchen.
<Samwise> Plate or bowl?
<raven> Was there anyone there who looked like they had an infectious disease?
<maime> it was a trendy brewerie.
<raven> Was anyone wearing a fedora?
<spinn> did the backpack have cloth in it?
<CrazyClimber> so it was probably the guy who chops the vegetables, probably a new guy
<spinn> oh, wait, wrong game, nevermind
<CrazyClimber> not yet used to handling the knife that fast
<maime> and when you find a bandaid in your salad a pimple will convince you they all have aids.
<maime> it wasn't chopped.
<spinn> did they all have aids?
<Samwise> Bob: why do you think he had a band-aid.
<CrazyClimber> well, because if he couldn't handle the knife very well, he could've cut himself.
<maime> Yes, I'm sure they all had every possible infectious disease.
<Samwise> including the boogie-woogie flu.
<maime> aids, hepititis, you name it.
<Samwise> I name it Gary.
<maime> and I was with my grandmother.
<CrazyClimber> i wonder if he picked his nose with the finger that had been wearing the bandaid.
<maime> I told her it had a cochroach.
<spinn> why didn't you tell her it was a bandaid?
<maime> because if she had known it had a bandaid she would have taken me to the emergency room.
<spinn> oh
<maime> and she would have screamed.
<spinn> you should've told her instead of keeping this story to yourself
<CrazyClimber> maybe he had one of those itches, y'know, really deep in his butt.
<maime> and followed me into the bathroom to hold my hair while I purged so I could hold her handbag while she purged.
<raven> Your grandma's bulemic?
<maime> no.
<spinn> yeah, he could've scraped it on the clasp of a genital piercing of one of his latino lovers
<maime> his disease infected latino lovers.
<spinn> oh
<spinn> oh yeah, I hadn't even thought of that
<maime> well, now that I've shared my trauma with you I'll go to work.
<maime> yay me!
<maime> it's been lovely.
<Samwise> thanks maime
<Samwise> we're happier now.
<maime> yeah. cause it DIDN'T happen to you.
<raven> Exactly, maime.
<CrazyClimber> ok, so at the GTG, we're all going to be wearing bandaids, right?
<Samwise> Yup.
<CrazyClimber> oh, she's still here.
<Samwise> We are now.
<raven> Only on the pus-filled bits, bob.
<maime> I figure I've got some unknown salad maker disease
<maime> so I'm not at all bothered.
<raven> maybe Jerry Lewis will hold a telethon.
<maime> It's growing inside of me like one of those aliens.
<maime> maybe I'll explode and infect you at the gtg.
<spinn> wait. trauma?
<spinn> why, what happened?
<maime> greg, you're so sweet.
*** Signoff: maime (Quit: whew, we got rid of her again...)
<spinn> phoo
<Samwise> OK, back to the chicken story...
<Samwise> I'm confused by the wing/nugget thing now.
<spinn> wait, I've just been reading scrollback
<spinn> maime found a bandaid in a salad?
<Samwise> spinn: yeah, some time ago.
<ristoril> you were commenting on it
<spinn> huh. what happened?
<Samwise> she had a salad, and it had a bandaid in it.
<spinn> really
<spinn> and how long was she on the phone with a nurse crying about it who told her that she couldn't do anything until she had any symptoms?
<CrazyClimber> was it a used bandaid?
<spinn> was mrman watching star trek while she okay I gotta stop this now before I escalate any more.