Hot Toothless Down-Syndrome Kids *Love* Anal Action.

* KemloCaesar is feeling all weird. Apparently, I'm not emotionally mature enough to be sentenced to three to five years in prison.
[Ed. -- Picture of the sentencing (Thanks, agt!)]
<KemloCaesar> Community service instead
<agent_orange> uhnm ... what?
<antihero> someone's finally attempting to punish you for your behavior?
<KemloCaesar> it wasn't even my *behaviour*
<agent_orange> just *him*
<agent_orange> pissed everyone off
<CrazyClimber> well, that's part of the "existence and nothingness" equation
<KemloCaesar> downloading pr0n files in bulk, and then passing them along to other people without first having looked at them
<antihero> you got arrested for that?
<KemloCaesar> to be specific, passing them along *to an undercover cop* without first having looked at them
<KemloCaesar> "Here, I don't know what they are, I hope you enjoy them"
<CrazyClimber> next time tell us in advance, so we can testify.
<KemloCaesar> no, I have no idea where my brain had been at the time.
<agent_orange> I bet I know
<CrazyClimber> draw us a picture!
<agent_orange> dcc us all a copy!
<tieboy> i hope you'll show more discretion with our book deal
<tieboy> so. you're into kiddie porn, then
<KemloCaesar> with added sheep.
<agent_orange> you a lolita fan or more of an asparagus fancier?
<antihero> what the fuck was going on that led you to do that?
<antihero> I don't mean from a "is it logical?" standpoint
<antihero> what set of circumstances could lead a person into downloading and distributing porn to people they obviously don't know that well?
<KemloCaesar> "IRC"
<tieboy> pictures of polerix with a retarded vietnamese teenager?
<antihero> without even the modicum of reason to be had in "I was gonna look at it"
<CrazyClimber> of course, since in this case "community service" means "blowing the cops," it works out for everyone
<DML> I know what asparagus means... but somehow I thought lolita was just jailbait
<tieboy> actually, pol is fairly retarded, so it might be considered consentual
<agent_orange> I am but a vessel for thy pr0n!
<agent_orange> baha tie
<DML> This makes my dad's pr0n collection even more frightening
<KemloCaesar> my lawyer tells me that at least there were no "action pics"
<KemloCaesar> just poses
<KemloCaesar> my "just"
<KemloCaesar> feh
<CrazyClimber> say, this undercover cop on irc... he wasn't on this channel, was he?
<agent_orange> pssst!
<agent_orange> pssst!
<agent_orange> ixnay!
<tieboy> oh, so you still haven't seen the porn you distributed?
<tieboy> wow, I'm so believing this
<agent_orange> fag.
<KemloCaesar> nope
<KemloCaesar> they took the machine
<KemloCaesar> the cop kept asking for more pr0n, I went through all the pics that I knew what they were
<KemloCaesar> got to the unsorted stuff
<agent_orange> "What's this? .... pr0n, eh? (SEND ALL) There!" (walks away, whistling)
<tieboy> what were you actually convicted of?
<KemloCaesar> well, not convicted *yet*
<KemloCaesar> that'll be wednesday
<agent_orange> you were sentenced?
<agent_orange> before being convicted?
<agent_orange> damn, you canucks are TOUGH
<KemloCaesar> no, but the lawyers have worked it out.
<KemloCaesar> So as to save time.
<agent_orange> "Hang him! We'll be back with the verdict next week!"
<tieboy> i say, lock up all you perverts. that'll save time
<CrazyClimber> so if they took your computer, how are you on now?
<KemloCaesar> especially alla them perverted facebuilding fetishists
<KemloCaesar> different computer
<CrazyClimber> damn! he thought of that!
<KemloCaesar> they also took a shitload of spinnlogs
<KemloCaesar> so if any of you said anything remotely legally objectionable onchannel when I was here, expect a knock on the door at midnight
<CrazyClimber> whatever happened to the good old days, when after a bust like that, you were banned from being in the same city as a computer for life
<KemloCaesar> well, I've been formally asked to not use the university
<agent_orange> or the bathrooms
<CrazyClimber> do you get listed on any police sex offender pages?
<KemloCaesar> No, actually
* CrazyClimber mumbers more "good old days" comments
<KemloCaesar> I was concerned about that, but no.
<CrazyClimber> mumbers?
<CrazyClimber> yeah, i'm that dick tracy villain. mumbers.
<raven> kemlo : A knock on the door from Canadians? what the fuck are they going to do to us, ban us from reading For Better or Worse?
<KemloCaesar> cut off your supply of clean drinking water
<agent_orange> "No more Rush albums for YOU, you MISCREANT!"
<raven> That would be a little hard.
<agent_orange> just like kemlo when he saw the pron!
<KemloCaesar> more to the point, the undercover cop was in Florida. crossborder cop cooperation.
<KemloCaesar> why do you think lots isn't here any more?
<KemloCaesar> (come on, summons....)
<raven> Yeah, he's been gone a whole hour.
<agent_orange> he's probably blindly emailing unseen kidporn pictures to any stump-fingered gomer who can log onto AOL
<agent_orange> or handing them out at the mall
<agent_orange> "Here you go, lady. Porn CD. Dunno what's on it. Hey, buddy! want some pr0n?"
*** antihero has joined #spinnwebe
<raven> Nah, I think lots lovingly views and grades each image for wankability, clarity, hawtness and panache before passing them on.
<raven> because dammit, lots cares!
<agent_orange> because he's compelled to do nothing else at this very seconD!
<antihero> k, i'm back
<agent_orange> yeah, yeah, we noticed
<antihero> no one even knew i was gone, huh?
<agent_orange> so anyway
<DML> Not even Horsehockey can move him like asparagus
<agent_orange> alt.fan.erotica.borderline.gibbering.batshit.loony
*** KemloCaesar is now known as BabeRuth
<BabeRuth> Asparagus makes my urine smell funny
<CrazyClimber> what, you're just discovering this?
<CrazyClimber> or are you pretending that you were researching this when you downloaded those photos?
<KemloCaesar> nah, 's just the quote
<raven> hey, he's a busy man. porn to gather, porn to distribute - give him a break.
<antihero> but never to view
<antihero> maybe he sometimes imagines it though
<antihero> we'll never know
<antihero> thank the good lord jesus
<KemloCaesar> h4wt n00d j35u5?
<DML> I wish this wasn't interrelated somehow
<DML> Or I wish I could, like, accept your pedophilia, but that's just not done
<tieboy> The Man From N.A.M.B.L.A.
<antihero> How sure are we about the first half of that statement, tie?
<agent_orange> bahahaa
<agent_orange> dml
<tieboy> how could you not look at the porn? I mean, if only to correct spelling and put asterisks around words for emphasis
<agent_orange> text pr0n?
<agent_orange> lame, d00d
<tieboy> well, in captions
<antihero> or the filenames, even
<tieboy> Hot Toothless Down-Syndrome Kids *Love* Anal Action. etc
<KemloCaesar> oh, it was pr0n pics. Pr0n text, I go through, and delete the bad stuff
<Machival> 8=======D {()}
<Machival> 8=======D{()}
<Machival> 8=======)}
<Machival> 8==)}
<Machival> 8=======)}
<Machival> 8==)}
<agent_orange> Danny S_____, of Mooseplug, Ontario, was found guilty of randomly e-mailing the dirty parts from Peyton Place to Geocities subscribers
<KemloCaesar> I don't think 16-year-olds *quite* count as pedo material.
<DML> Oh... Oh! That's WAY different
<DML> Yeah, you got busted for jailbait. That sucks.
<agent_orange> that's 16 canadian
<agent_orange> or 9 to you an me
<KemloCaesar> Although I'm told there was a 14-year-old in there too
<antihero> which is like, 12.7865 american?
<tieboy> doesn't jibe with your photo shoot notes?
<Machival> so how much jail time you getting for distributing child porn, kemlo?
<DML> None, he said! Community service
<raven> jesus, chill, dan. Not everyone is listening as intently as you are.
<agent_orange> or cares nearly as much
<tieboy> They've got him repainting an orphanage
<Drusilla> Dan cares deeply that you only get community service for distributing jailbait porn.
<Machival> * jesus waves his magical hand, cooling dan to the point of freezing.
<agent_orange> DML: I am shocked and amazed that Canada is not on Mercury, to the extent of soiling my linens.
<CrazyClimber> it would be warm, at least
<CrazyClimber> not that agt's soiled linens aren't warm too, i'm sure
<agent_orange> so is this "I didn't even look at them" schtick some sort of quasi-legal ploy to get a lighter sentence?
<Machival> tieboy: a H0T L3SB14N 16-YR-OLD $LUT orphanage?
<antihero> agto: you have linens?
<antihero> well la-dee-frickin-da.
<antihero> "ooh, look at me, i have LINENS!"
<KemloCaesar> no idea any more
<antihero> capitalist pig
* agent_orange hides his soiled linens in antihero's lunch box
<Machival> "would you like some linens? I would because I'm agent orange! would you like some stripes on you linens? I would because I'm agent orange!"
<agent_orange> stick and stones may break my bones, but semi-literate tardo hooting will never hurt me.
<CrazyClimber> so, how did they determine that the models were 16? cut 'em open and count the rings?
<agent_orange> they were holding up signs
<agent_orange> o/~ I am 16 / going down on 17 / sweaty guys all in a row ... o/~
<Machival> yeah, how DID they determine that, kemlo?
<agent_orange> once they hit sixteen, the tits start to sag
<Kyol> snkkt
<Machival> agt: that fits perfectly w/the tune to "you are my sunshine".
<antihero> you can obviously tell a 12 year old from a legal aged person
<agent_orange> it does not, you neanderfuck. Stay focused!
<raven> mach : as well as "16 Going On 17".
<Machival> wasn't she 16, though?
<CrazyClimber> doo dah, doo dah
<antihero> i've got a new word now
<antihero> "neanderfuck" is perfect for so many social situations
<Machival> hehehe
<antihero> Machival: so kemlo would have us believe
<Machival> that's true.
<agent_orange> Next GTG: Elmo's sentencing
<CrazyClimber> heh, there's a thought
<CrazyClimber> next gtg, we can slip all sorts of cdroms into his pack
<raven> Call ahead to Customs.
<agent_orange> ***KemloCaesar is now known as ShortEyes
<antihero> Please PLEASE tell me "slipping cdroms into his pack" isn't some ultimately fucked-up sort of euphemism
<Drusilla> it isn't
<antihero> good
<Machival> wait... wait... it's not?
<antihero> i'm having a good time... self-immolation at this stage of my life would be somewhat self-defeating
<tieboy> tardo hooting.
<tieboy> lord that was funny
<agent_orange> not to mention getting fucked up the ass by angry cons
<agent_orange> still, you may have the emotional maturity to be someone's prison bitch
<Machival> so, kemlo, what motivated you to give pictures you claim not to have even looked at to a complete stranger?
<KemloCaesar> generosity
<Drusilla> uhhh-huhhhh
<Machival> ...yeah.
<Drusilla> yea, i'm seeing why you don't have emotional maturity to do time.
<Machival> hehe is that why he got off?
<Machival> w/community service, that is?
<Machival> 'cause he lacks 'emotional maturity'?
<KemloCaesar> something like that
<tieboy> all his blubbering and pants-wetting must have made an impression
<KemloCaesar> nah
<KemloCaesar> they talked to my psychiatrist
<antihero> wow
<agent_orange> yeah, the judge thought he might cry when some serial killer sinks himself up to the knees in kemlo's rosebud
<antihero> it's kind of gratifying to have the state agree with what we've known all along
<Machival> wow. I'm surprised they didn't give you an even GREATER sentence, then.
<CrazyClimber> how many hours, kemlo?
<KemloCaesar> CC - not decided yet. Prolly a hundred.
<Machival> hopefully they have the brains to make sure it's nothing child-related.
<Machival> "hrmmm... you have to read to disabled children in the windowless basement of the orphanage for 100 hours."
<Drusilla> "you have to help 16 year old girls get new, less-slutty clothes"
<CrazyClimber> "washroom attendant at the high school girl's swimming pool"
<antihero> crap
<antihero> 100 is a shitload of hours
<antihero> there must've been sheep and minors and dogs and cats and more sheep having sex with minors
<raven> "You're the new yearbook photographer for St. Agnes' School for Sluts"
<Machival> you must help dress handicapped H@WT L3SB14N T33N G1RLZ for 100 hours.
<tieboy> "gathering and disposing of child pornography"
<antihero> Replacing light bulbs in St. Agatha's School for Criminally Slutty Young Ladies