Analingus. Tossed salad. WHY IS EVERYTHING I SAY SO COMPLICATED TO YOU?!
<Lots42> I stumped rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc with a Star Wars question
<Lots42> "What happened to the blaster Luke had gotten seconds before being dumped in the Rancor pit?"
<Samwise> Lots: so, what's the official answer?
<Lots42> there was no official answer, I stumped star wars fanboys
<SeanQ> what did you ask them, what it's like outside their rooms?
<Samwise> *shrug* fell to the floor of the rancor pit.
<Samwise> Prove me wrong.
<SeanQ> "What's the weather like today?"
<Lots42> I did that later and they kept screaming about the evil yellow eyeball
<tieboy> "What does a breast feel like?"
<SeanQ> sam: I think the official answer is "who gives a rat's ass"
<DML> Lots: If you get them to do creative writing they stop screaming for a minute
<Samwise> "Complete this statement: Pussy tastes like ________."
<SeanQ> tie: you better be sure to specify female
<CrazyClimber> and human
<tieboy> i don't think i could finish that one, sam. what does it taste like? besides pussy?
<DML> Sam: That's not fair. A Star Wars fangirl told me what "tossed salad" really meant
<DML> tieboy: fish taco. Duh.
<Samwise> Tie: the point is to scare 'em into flustered bewilderment and calls of "trick question!"
<SeanQ> DML: did she tell you that, too?
<tieboy> You shouldn't try to stump the star wars fans. They get almost as volitile as the coin collectors when vexed.
* Samwise flicks coin collectors in the ear
<Lots42> tell them the state quarters are worth just twenty fucking five cents please
<jacquilyn> How much are 1956 pennies worth?
<SeanQ> but we're always ready to put in our two cents' worth
<jacquilyn> How much are pennies from the year 1956 worth, then.
<Samwise> *scoff* Obviously. But if they're in super-duper-mint condition, never touched by human hands or even breathed on, sealed in a solid 2X3X3 chunk of amber, they're worth upwards of a dollar."
<SeanQ> depending on the condition, anywhere from one cent to one cent
<SeanQ> if it looks like it just fell off the dies, maybe a nickel
<agent_orange> now, if you had pennies from the future, well, that's a different story!
<DML> SeanQ: No, you did
<agent_orange> no, YOU did!
<jacquilyn> Too bad. The 1956 penny is kind of cool.
<CrazyClimber> seanq just fell off the dies?
<SeanQ> I know you are, but what am I?
<agent_orange> DML is a diaper baby!
<SeanQ> I am rubber and you are glue, maaaaaaaan
<TMR> Ass pennies...from the FUTURE!
<Samwise> I'm rubber and you're a big fag.
<DML> agto: WTF?!
<agent_orange> potty mouth too, I see
<Samwise> DML, at last you know how it feels to listen to you.
<SeanQ> DML: since I am admittedly heterosexual, it would make sense that I could decribe the flavor of the female genitalia as a, to borrow your eloquent turn of phrase, 'fish taco'
<DML> I was answering SeanQ's question. He asked if my Star Wars fangirl ex-friend taught me about pussy and fish taco. I said no; he did
<SeanQ> however, as you are an admitted homosexual, I found it surprising that you would opine as to said topic
<SeanQ> hence my impliaction that your Star Wars fangirl must have told you about that particular item, and the resultant implication that she was in fact, homosexual also
<DML> I know. And I would have said "Fuck you", but I'm better than that
<raven> actually, I'd have to whap you one for calling it a fish taco, sean, but I get your point.
<SeanQ> at leat that would have made sense, since you like men
<DML> And, um, no, she's not a lesbian, but people think she is.
<DML> She's awfully butch.
<CrazyClimber> hey, dan savage calls it a canned ham that was dropped from the top of a building.
<SeanQ> raven: i was only quoting the self-proclaimed expert
<DML> SeanQ: I don't like EATING OUT of men.
<DML> That may amaze you. Hell, that might even appall you. But no
<Lots42> You people have gone into territory I don't even want to think about entering
<CrazyClimber> you eat at home?
<raven> "eating out of [them]"? Do they have an internal cereal bowl or something?
<CrazyClimber> i think it's nice to make dinner for your dates once in a while
<TMR> raven: cereal bowel
<jacquilyn> Hrmm. Curling registration is tonight.
<DML> raven: Analingus. Tossed salad. WHY IS EVERYTHING I SAY SO COMPLICATED TO YOU?!
<SeanQ> Hey, those flakes weren't frosted when they went in!
<raven> christ, Dan, relax. I was just teasing because usually it's "eating out" not "eating out OF".
<DML> I won't relax... that'd only encourage me.
<raven> just brought to mind a guy with a sippy cup embedded in his solar plexus.
<CrazyClimber> be strong, dan!
<CrazyClimber> strong and tense!
<TMR> Take some pills
<DML> Okay, *now* I hate all y'all
<SeanQ> christ, took ya long enough
<jacquilyn> Ah, darn, does that mean you're leaving?
<CrazyClimber> even jeeb?
<DML> No, of course not... I don't have anyone better to relate to
<SeanQ> go eat some pussy, you'll feel like a new man
<DML> Shut up, Sean.
<Lots42> Yeah that was cruel, even though I'm lost on whatever the hell went on before
<SeanQ> "Make Love, Not Sense", that's my motto
<DML> So why is it that none of you people can understand what I say? Most of the people that I talk to on a day-to-day basis can relate at least somewhat
<raven> because you're so easily confusable.
<CrazyClimber> x loop en So why is it that none of you people can understand what I say? Most of the people that I talk to on a day-to-day basis can relate at least somewhat
<agent_orange> Huh. I thought "tossed salad" referred to anal intercourse
<agent_orange> but I'll defer to the queercakes
<jacquilyn> DML: what makes you think we don't understand what you say
<CrazyClimber> see, dan, even jeeb doesn't get it
<jacquilyn> Rather than say, picking on you because we think it's fun.
<DML> Um, the fact that you treat me like I'm some kind of freak.
<raven> We treat everyone like they're freaks.
<jacquilyn> Well, uh, duh, which person here doesn't get treated like a freak?
<agent_orange> are you intimating that you're not a freak?
<DML> agto: Essentially.
<CrazyClimber> kinda like that halloween simpsons where they tossed bart's twin a bucket of fish heads once a week
<raven> yeah, 'cause we don't hold with no non-freaks 'round heah!
<DML> jaq: Well, for one, I don't think Lots gets all-out mocked sarcastically for having worked at Blockbuster.
<raven> and now we're right back to fish again...
<jacquilyn> Umm, yes he does.
<raven> dan : BAHAHAHAHAHAAH. Where have *you* been?
<DML> Like there aren't, you know, round-robin discussions about how you all have miserable pay, etc.
<jacquilyn> He *still* does, and he hasn't worked there in ages.
<DML> But you'll have round-robin discussions mocking my fetishes.
<CrazyClimber> lots, you used to work at BlockBuster! Haw haw!
<Lots42> WTC hoax guy gets around
<SeanQ> gee, look how highly respected I am for working in the fragrance industry
<raven> well.... I *don't* have miserable pay.
<Lots42> Tie is short!
<jacquilyn> I get mocked for lets see, whining too much, spelling badly, curling and being Canadian.
<agent_orange> "fragrance industry"
<DML> I didn't know you worked for a perfumer, Sean.
<jacquilyn> oh, and for hitting on tie.
<raven> heh, Sean will have his own section in the SWHC when the redesign is done.
<raven> Then again, so will you.
<DML> But it just doesn't seem like tieboy and Dodge and the rest of y'all get as much mock-mileage as I do.
<raven> agt : "chemical weapons factory"
<DML> Every time I open my mouth, it's a new dimension of hilarious personal inadequacy
<raven> yes, yes it is.
<SeanQ> rave: six of one....
<jacquilyn> Tie gets mocked for being short, for being a temp, for living in a city full of gay men
*** Machival has joined #spinnwebe
<DML> Hey, Machival! I'm a sick, godless pervert who seeks to obtain useless skills!
<raven> dan, if you haven't been paying attention all this time, I'm not going to make a list of everyone's mocks.
<jacquilyn> WE prolly don't mock raven as much as we should, but that's because she does the quotes and we don't wanna get passed over.
<SeanQ> really, dan, go read the quote... slowly, please
<SeanQ> ask for help with the big words
<DML> jacquilyn: If we mocked raven, that would only encourage her.
<raven> we don't have to justify things that are common knowledge.
<Lots42> If we punched Raven in the boobies, we'd get eviscerated
<CrazyClimber> tie isn't gay?
<DML> No, I'm the gay one!
<raven> lots : And that in itself gets mocked. :)
<raven> No, HOCK is the gay one.
<Lots41> Tie is a gay terrorist fighter
<DML> I AM THE GAY MAN IN THIS ROOM!
<raven> You're the hysterical one.
* DML bursts into tears
<SeanQ> hock == Will / DML == Jack
<DML> raven: I'm neurotic.
<raven> that too
<DML> SeanQ: hock =/= Will. hock == Rodney Daingerfield from NBK
<Lots41> I'm bi. I like girls and Tie
<DML> And boi =~= Mallory, except they're not related in any particular way
<raven> Mallory Keaton was gay?
<raven> apparently I didn't watch enough _Family Ties_
<CrazyClimber> looks like you've finally taken some programming classes, dan
<jacquilyn> Oooh, Lots is tie-bi
<DML> But trust me that hock's fetishes are more messed up than mine.
<jacquilyn> Maybe we just know less about them, DML.
<DML> And I think we should compare a list of his, mine, and Lore's and see which ones are the worst
<DML> jacquilyn: All right, then.
<DML> That will be corrected right now.
<raven> if we cared, sure, dan.
<CrazyClimber> take enough programming classes and you can make a decent living, dan
<DML> He's into confinement, auto-erotic asphyxiation, motorcross and football gear, dirt, defecation, and hair.
<DML> CC: Clearly that's the only way.
<SeanQ> apparently we're all about to care....
<raven> or.... not.
<DML> Obviously not, since my fetishes are so much fucking funnier and Lore's are so much fucking cuter and more fictional
<Lots41> I have a fucking fetish
* CrazyClimber missed the meeting where being funny in this channel was a problem
<DML> What is it?
<SeanQ> so you're a gay man who likes to eat pussy?
<agent_orange> so what are you into besides verbal abuse?
<SeanQ> and what is the politically correct way to say that, so I stop insulting the wimminfolk?
<DML> I thought you already knew.
<raven> yeah, I've never met someone into spanking as much as you, dan.
<agent_orange> I don't know diddly
<CrazyClimber> "let me ride your monorail!"
<agent_orange> well, yeah, civic engineering and luddism
<agent_orange> I knew that
<raven> and orcs.
<DML> Muscle-worship, anthropomorphic/furry, cyborgs/androids, and demons
<DML> Those are my four big fetishes.
<CrazyClimber> nope, nothin' funny there
<DML> Certainly isn't as bad as defecation, is it?
<agent_orange> earthlings just don't hold you interest, eh?
<jacquilyn> No, but it's funnier.
<DML> agto: Not really.
* DML holds gun to head
<jacquilyn> I mean, what the hell are you gonna say about a scat fetish that isn't completely fucking disgusting?
<SeanQ> jacq: beats the shit outta me
<raven> Man, are you this Jack-y in person?
<jacquilyn> A furry fetish, on the other hand, is sufficiently non-threatening enough to be moked.
<DML> jaq: You could at least have the decency to say it in the absence of hockeyfag and post it, like you usually do to me.
<jacquilyn> The decency to say what?
<DML> Oh, just to make jokes about hock's gear and scat fetishes
<jacquilyn> But didn't I just explain why I don't want to make jokes about his fetishes?
<CrazyClimber> isn't the sphincter a muscle? don't you worship it too?
<agent_orange> and your attration to jackrabbits with tits
<Lots41> I'm out of here.
<DML> Uh, no, Bob. I'm celibate.
<jacquilyn> And last time I checked I've never "posted" (whatever teh hell that means) any comments about your fetishes.
<CrazyClimber> you're the one who said you worship muscles.
<CrazyClimber> now, do you or don't you?
* CrazyClimber sighs
<raven> Maybe he doesn't like the involuntary smooth muscles.
* raven tries to remember her classes of muscles....
<DML> jaq: Well, Raven has.
<SeanQ> raven: w00t, ooooh-GAH, and hrghlhrgl.....
<agent_orange> let me get this right
<SeanQ> so DML, do you awtch Futurama for Bender or that lobster guy?
<agent_orange> DML is gay but celibate but attracted to fantasy characters
<agent_orange> can we get one more degree of disengagement from reality in there?
<raven> You like Bender AND the lobster guy?
<DML> You have yer Booleans mixed up, Bob.
<CrazyClimber> don't orget the muscle-worship
<DML> No. Usually it's more like the Terminator, stuff like that.
<DML> I mean, it has to be REASONABLY humanoid.
<DML> Or perhaps unreasonably, rather
<agent_orange> why limit yourself, d00d?
<SeanQ> hang on, I can't keep scrolling back....
<jacquilyn> So is C-3p0 sufficiently humanoid?
<jacquilyn> I mean, he's human shaped.
*** SeanQ has changed the topic on channel #spinnwebe to
Muscle-worship, anthropomorphic/furry, cyborgs/androids, and demons
<CrazyClimber> and sooooo shiny
<jacquilyn> What about the Borg?
<jacquilyn> Are you hot for the borg?
<DML> Yeah, the Borg kinda do it for me.
<jacquilyn> So like when Jean_Luc became borg that was just like porn to you, wasn't it?
<CrazyClimber> o/~ wanking to the borg o/~
<DML> It wasn't just like porn... the scene in Terminator 1 where the T-800 removes his eye with a scalpel, NOW *THAT* WAS *PORN*.
<agent_orange> RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASS_MANIPULATED
<CrazyClimber> but not when the Terminator poops?
<DML> agto :B
<DML> Since when does he poop?
<DML> And anyhow Hock should worry about that
<CrazyClimber> hey, i'm just trying to keep things straight
<CrazyClimber> GET IT?!
<agent_orange> I would think that junkyard wars would be like a snuff film to you, then
<jacquilyn> This conversation hasn't been straight for an hour, bob
<CrazyClimber> damn, i'm still laughing.
* DML sodomizes Bob with a yardstick cut against the grain
<CrazyClimber> ah, so you're into rape.
<DML> No, I'm not.
<DML> And I assumed you weren't either
<jacquilyn> I'm curious to know how you would feel about sex in a public transportation unit like say, a monorail.
<DML> So I did it to piss you off.
<CrazyClimber> is it rape if you are?
<DML> Um, fuck you, jaq.
<DML> Well, maybe I could try it
<SeanQ> he figured it was inevitable, so he sat back and enjoyed it
* jacquilyn points out that she's not male, muscled anthro o furry.
<SeanQ> hoppe you like Russian dressing on your salad, dan
*** DML has left #spinnwebe
<jacquilyn> Though, I really do need to shave my legs.
<SeanQ> wheee! I win!
<agent_orange> DECENT civic planning would have all the furries confined to a big furry ghetto
<jacquilyn> Damn. We drove him away.
<jacquilyn> How'd that happen?
* Samwise hands Sean his Pullet Surprise
* agent_orange gets a ten-yard penalty for a late hit
<SeanQ> he's still on the server
<SeanQ> someone message him
<agent_orange> lurk lurk
<Samwise> Sean: but what do we have to say to him?
<Samwise> ./msg DML HUGLBLGHUGLHBUUGBLUBUGB
<SeanQ> ah hell, I can go home
<agent_orange> you know where all of that ends. Data slash, that's where it ends.
<agent_orange> a Spiner-fag
<SeanQ> c'ya later
<jacquilyn> If Chewbacca became a borg, he would be like the ultimte Dan-fantasy.
*** SIGNOFF: SeanQ (Quit: cyborgs and bunnies and orcs, oh my!)
<jacquilyn> Though I suppose that doesn't envelop the demon concept, does it?
<raven> Or a cyborg orc in a bunny suit.
<raven> possessed by a demon
<agent_orange> DML is banned from every Chuck E Cheese on the east coast, after the unfortunate incident with The Beagles
*** DML (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #spinnwebe
<jacquilyn> Oh, wait, he's back. I guess we have to stop talking about him.
<jacquilyn> After all, we only ever do it behind his back.
<Samwise> I'd have to say that the orc fantasy mockery happens to his face enough.
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