<Samwise> OK, I have to tell this joke in its entirety.
* Leth listens raptly
<Samwise> So this duck waddles into a store and says, 'Do you have any raisins?'
<Samwise> and the guy at the conuter says, 'Uhh, no , I'm sorry, we don't sell raisins.'
* KemloCaesar resists the urge to spoil the punchline.
* shil too
<Samwise> the duck says 'OK' and waddles out
<Samwise> The duck waddles back into the store the next day and says, 'Do you have any raisins?'
<Samwise> and the guy at the conuter says, 'Look, I told you, we don't carry raisins!'
<Samwise> the duck says 'OK' and waddles out
<Samwise> The duck waddles back into the store the next day and says, 'Do you have any raisins?'
* tieboy prepares to smile politely
* kaufman prepares a good kick
<Samwise> and the guy at the conuter says, 'We don't have any damn raisins! If you ask me that again, I'm gonna nail your stupid webbed feet to the floor!'
<Samwise> the duck says 'OK' and waddles out
<Samwise> The duck waddles back into the store the next day and says, 'Do you have any nails?'
<Agent_Break> /kick samwis...
<Samwise> The guy says 'No'
<Samwise> and the duck says, 'Do you have any raisins?'
*** kaufman is now known as Blanda
<tieboy> And then what did the guy say?
<Samwise> he said tieboy sucks.
<KemloCaesar> He grabbed the duck, ripped its head off, and ate it.
<tieboy> And what did the duck say to that??
<Elkman> The guy said he's leaving the store to become a Lutheran.
<shil> "put 'em on my bill"
*** Samwise has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by Pele (put it on my bill)
*** Samwise (~samwise22@h216-170-001-124.adsl.navix.net) has joined channel #spinnwebe
<Agent_Orange> So did he have raisins or not?
* shil giggles
<Samwise> Fuckers.
<TMR> I guess.
<KemloCaesar> Why didn't the duck try a grocery store?
<tieboy> Maybe the guy in the store could have ordered some for him.
<Agent_Orange> Why would a duck want raisins anyway?
<Leth> Funny, I didn't think ducks would even like raisins. Raisin BREAD maybe, I guess....
* Samwise gets the Ass Kicking Machine ready
<shil> tieboy: then the guy could put 'em on his bill!
<kaufman> and so the storekeeper says to the duck, "This is a hardware store!" and proceeded to nail his feet to the floor
* shil ducks the kick
<shil> ha!
* KemloCaesar kicks the duck
<Agent_Orange> Why a duck?
<Agent_Orange> why not, say, a pelican?
<Agent_Orange> pelicans are *funny*
<Leth> besides, the shopkeeper would be pretty dumb to nail the duck's feet to the floor...then he'd never be rid of the annoying bastard duck
<Samwise> pelican = no 'k'
<kaufman> *** Agent_Orange is now known as Ogden_Nash
<KemloCaesar> And hey, a *talking duck* - that's gotta be worth a fortune.
<kaufman> pelikan
<Elkman> And wouldn't he get in trouble with PETA for nailing a duck to the floor?
<kaufman> what if he force-fed it milk?
<Agent_Orange> I think I'll be pelican / with a dick the size of a ... um... jelly can...
<Samwise> Milk and quacker?
<shil> poor samwise
<KemloCaesar> Sam - wouldn't it be funnier if it was a kookaburra, then?
<Leth> only if he was from Kukamonga
<Agent_Orange> now, a chicken...
<Samwise> shil: I'm keeping their names...and it's only 2 days till I get my shotgun...
<Agent_Orange> your average chicken *will* eat raisins occasionally
<Leth> oh, sure, an AFRICAN chicken, maybe, but we're talking European chickens here
<Elkman> As a reminder: I'm COMPLETELY innocent, Sam.
<shil> is anyone logging this madness?
<Leth> yup
<Agent_Orange> though chickens are prone to getting the winds, and raisins will give 'em terrible wind, I tell you for true
<Agent_Orange> It's something to see...
<Agent_Orange> cluck cluck [fweeee] BAWK! clcuck cluck [phllbblbl] buGAWK!
<Leth> "He didn't want to, but his farts BLEW him across the road!"
<tieboy> I bet the shopkeeper will remember to bring nails in the following day!!
[ 10 minutes later... ]
<tieboy> Ohhhh! Haa haa haa! The duck was checking to make sure the guy didn't have any nails before he asked for raisins again! Haa ha ha ha!
<shil> it's a tie split! LOL!
<Samwise> tie: tell me you didn't just get that.
<tieboy> no Sam, I was just needling you
<Samwise> OK. I didn't think you were dense.
<tieboy> Oh, I'm dense. But I got the joke.
* Samwise drops tie into mercury to see if he sinks
<Agent_Orange> tieboy, joke? <response> then what happened?
<tieboy> I'm not a bad, you orange agent!
<tieboy> bad?
<tieboy> bot
<Agent_Orange> heehehee
<tieboy> see, would a bot type bad?
<zompist> wow, a completely inexplicable typo.
<tieboy> I'm not a rapist! I mean, bot!
<tieboy> My mother doesn't drink!!
<zompist> "i'm not the rapist! i'm a therapist!"
<Agent_Orange> Not since she had me!
<CrazyClimber> jeeb, joke?
<jeeb> i think joke is "Do you have any raisins?"
<shil> hahah
<zompist> jeeb, joke?
<jeeb> i guess joke is *metajoke*
<zompist> *silence*
<Samwise> Someone's asking for a dozen boxes of sunmaids up their poopenspigot.
<Agent_Orange> When I was small, my father used to tell me I was a robot
<Agent_Orange> and that he took my head off at night to oil me
