"You publish a 'zine? Great. How about publishing me a fucking large Mountain Dew, honey."
<Drusilla> okay, i have a question for you, leth. have you ever whistled at a fast food worker to get their attention?
<agent_orange> leth throws rolls at the waiter
<Drusilla> that's different
<agent_orange> <SPANG!> "YO, you struggling actor faggot! More gravy!"
<Leth> whistled? no.
<Leth> never whistled
<Drusilla> i knew it.
<Leth> farting, that's the way to go
<Drusilla> he decided he wanted another sandwich
<Drusilla> and i couldn't get it for him
<Drusilla> so he whistled at my coworker
<spinn> he just throws a half-gnawed turkey leg in their general direction
<agent_orange> he just kinda roars
<tieboy> he usually sits in the kitchen where everything is within reach
<agent_orange> my dad is one of those people who Kids Around With Waitresses
<tieboy> he'd make a belly-rubbing motion, but it would take hours to complete
<agent_orange> actually, with leth, getting the watstaffs' attention usually isn't a problem
<Leth> the floor buckles and they all slide down the slope to me
<agent_orange> the look like gazelles who just smelled a lion
<Leth> hey, it's been months since I accidentally ate a waiter's hand
<tieboy> he just threatens to use the restroom
<agent_orange> right then and there
<agent_orange> "I said MORE GRAVY!" <flings bucket from table>
<Drusilla> snapping and whistling aren't allowed. anything else is fine
<mdxi> dick waggling?
<agent_orange> how about reading your name tag and calling you VERY LOUDLY BY YOUR REAL NAME
<agent_orange> or throwing rolls
<spinn> "Look..." squint ".../cheryl/..."
<mdxi> her nametag probably reads "Drusilla Rain, Authoress"
<agent_orange> "ARIANNA ARIANNA ARIANNA ARIANNA <spang!> Can you bring me some more ham?"
<Drusilla> Fuck you.
<Drusilla> it's Arrianna
<Drusilla> and i don't wear a nametag
<Drusilla> and authoress is stupid
<tieboy> HEY, SAMMICH ARTIST. PAINT ME A COLD-CUT COMBO
<MisterQ> Arrianna? Two 'r's?
<agent_orange> yeah, it's not authoress
<spinn> 'ay, it's'a you mas-ta-piece, eh? look, no matter what they tell you it's not art, just put a fucking tomato on my fucking sub already
<agent_orange> it's wrrrrriter grrrrl
<mdxi> MisterQ: it's pronounced "air-y-ana", with all the 'a's like in "gay"
<Drusilla> it is not!
<mdxi> stress on "air"
* Drusilla sobs
<spinn> "look! here!" [reach over counter, grab fistful of tomatoes] "how hard is it? pickee up, putee on sandwich!"
<tieboy> "You publish a 'zine? Great. How about publishing me a fucking large Mountain Dew, honey."
<Drusilla> it's are-re-on-na, dammit.
<spinn> oh geez, "on"? and you complain people can't magically figure out hwo you want that pronounced
<mdxi> are-re-on-tie's-jock more like it
<Drusilla> I don't complain about that
<tieboy> "Are-re-on-na? Well, are-re-wanna hand over my goddamn turkey club before I starve to death?"
<Drusilla> I call myself Rain.
<agent_orange> "Hey hey hey, 'Ravynn' or 'nightshade' or darkweed or whatever, don't get none of that fucking clown white on my B.M.T., ya fuckin' juggalo!"
<Drusilla> i'm a good sandwich artist.
<tieboy> "Goth, eh? Well, death, despair, and a huge turd clogging up the terlit."
<agent_orange> "Can I trade my chips for two cookies, or would that make you fuckin' weep for all humanity? I can wait."
<spinn> "hey, can I have your autograph? ...oh, wait, did I say 'autograph'? I meant to say 'my fucking tuna sub'"
<Drusilla> i'm cheerful at work.
<Drusilla> i can fake it, dammit.
<spinn> "hey, picasso, think I can catch you in your 'some goddamn service' period"
<Leth> "Look, I didn't ask for a cubist sammich there, Picasso. Jus-" well fuck
<spinn> boy I never thought of making fun od subway workers specifically
<spinn> #sw does enrich my life
<Drusilla> doesn't it?
<Drusilla> it's helping me vent
<Drusilla> since i can't do that at work
<spinn> wow, leth, that was for real?
<agent_orange> "No mayo, yellow mustard, no oil or vinegar, salit & pepper, and take it fuckin' easy on the patchouli squeezin's, okay, sprinkle?"
<Leth> now all I have is visuals... Dru there shaping each roast beef sub like the penis on Michaelangelo's David
<Drusilla> i shape the bread like that
<spinn> not consciously. she looks down in surprise like four times a day
<agent_orange> "<sigh> Hi my name is rain, can I take yourrdrrr... <sigh> white or wheeemngmngm... <sigh> you want CHEESE? ... <sigh>"
<Drusilla> No, I'm all hypersonic
<Drusilla> and slightly southern
<agent_orange> you mean trashy?
<agent_orange> cause I could get into that
<agent_orange> some trashy goth whore who makes me food
<Leth> Like Flo in "Alice"
<Leth> with black lace
<mdxi> like Scarlett O'Bauhaus
<Drusilla> lace is not allowed
<agent_orange> like a dead flo in "alice"
<tieboy> "Hey, Basquiat. Get me a biscuit?"
<agent_orange> "I call myself Rain..." "I call myself in a fuckin' hurry, Chesty, now slap that ham on that bitch and send it doen the line like it was your last john of the night! I'm a busy man! Go go go!"
<Drusilla> hey, i'm fast
<agent_orange> so I hear
<Drusilla> i'm the fastest sandwich artist in this town.
<agent_orange> you must get challenged a lot
<agent_orange> young guns come into town
<tieboy> "Your tears are getting in the salami."
<MisterQ> I thought it was like you said, but it's spelled like 'arrrgh-ee-ann-aa'.. like a pirate's 'arr'
<Drusilla> not exactly
<Drusilla> my mom was on many painkillers when she thought of my name
<Drusilla> she calls me Anna. i hate her.
<agent_orange> "Look, vampira, unless 'I miss japhod' is subway lingo for 'more pickles out here'..."
<mdxi> some autistic southpaw sandwich idiot savant takes the title one day, gets a rock opera written about him...o/` That left-hand tard kid / Sure makes a mean meat-ball o/`
<agent_orange> work on that one long?
<mdxi> just since you mentioned challengers for the crown. fag.
<MisterQ> Just be thankful she wasn't on too many painkillers or else your name might have been 'squirmonda the weasel baby' or something
<Drusilla> i'm a perfectly normal person on the clock
<Drusilla> until someone i know comes in
<Drusilla> then i have to swoon into the lettuce
<spinn> you keep arguing agains thtis as if it matters for the riff
<agent_orange> do you do gothy punk stuff like pee in the ranch dressing bottle?
<MisterQ> 'I cry as my soul escapes. The question falls out of my throat like the dead souls of people I know not. Do you want fries with that?'
<mdxi> that haiku was horrible
<MisterQ> It was a goth haiku
<Drusilla> needs more blood
<agent_orange> <sigh> chips and a <sigh> drink?
<spinn> that's not very believable
<Drusilla> the comma is once they've left.
<spinn> that before or after you kill them?
<Drusilla> no killing
<Leth> just drain them
<Drusilla> i had to sign paperwork about being careful with knives and shit
<spinn> do you not kill them, before or after you kill them?
<agent_orange> I bet that little brown polyester uniform looks so cute on you
<Drusilla> it's green and cotton and I CAN FEEL YOUR EYES ON ME.
<MisterQ> Subway, the limbo where the meat meets the bread
<Leth> I'M AN ARTEEST!
<agent_orange> nothing goes with lunch like watching those top two buttons strain
<Machival> do they have big black lacey pillows in the break room for you to lay on and be all sorrowful in between customers, weeping over a world that so pains you?
<Drusilla> we don't have a break room
<Drusilla> how i suffer
<Drusilla> i have to swoon into the lettuce
<agent_orange> oh, that's right, it is green
<MisterQ> WelcometoSubwaystopstaringatmyboobs, may I help you?
<agent_orange> the color of life
<agent_orange> that must SUCK
<Drusilla> i get to wear black pants
<Machival> do you spray your wrists with southwest sauce and drip it sorrowfully onto the sandwiches as a representation of the sacrifice you are making of yourself to the system by working at a subway?
|Heather Garvey / Raven / firstname.lastname@example.org||I want to submit a log!|