There isn't enough marmalade in my immediate vicinity.
*** shoeStrumpet has joined #spinnwebe
<raven> apu's wife?
<spinn> yeah, like a few to the left of apu
<shoeStrumpet> Ralph Wiggum rocks my socks.
<raven> apu's wife and mother are there
<bablunchich> My cats breath smells like cat food
<spinn> man, they're highly recent
<shoeStrumpet> "Me fail english? That's unpossible!"
<spinn> the beavers scare me
<raven> ah, there's Moe!
<antihero> "I bent my wookie!"
<bablunchich> I ate all my caps (POP!)
<shoeStrumpet> Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!
<spinn> didja ever wonder about beef barley
<bablunchich> The doctor says I wouldnt have so many nose bleeds if I could keep my finger out of there
<shoeStrumpet> Okay... is wookie spelled with one e or two?
<antihero> "I'm gonna go to bovine university!"
<bablunchich> so....you ...like ....stuff
<antihero> two, actually
<spinn> I wonder how it is we managed to get our big toes on the front rather than the side
<bablunchich> Look Dad, a whale egg!
<shoeStrumpet> I'm Idaho!
<shoeStrumpet> My daddy shoots people.
<bablunchich> Were gonna be in a pie!
<spinn> someone is ovulating *right* *now*
<antihero> not me
<bablunchich> When the doctor said I didnt have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life!
<shoeStrumpet> I'm PMSing right now...
<Photon> wuh oh
<spinn> shooz, you should dress up your alias some
<spinn> like add a 0 or some non-alpha characters or something
*** shoeStrumpet is now known as sh03strump3t
<sh03strump3t> Like that?
<spinn> there you go
<spinn> think you needed some flair
<raven> 15 pieces, to be exact.
<spinn> well, that /is/ the minimum, but...
<sh03strump3t> Should I make it wear the polka dot halter dress I just finished sewing?
<bablunchich> anti : its strumpet.
<spinn> bab, watch that, you typoed the s there
<sh03strump3t> Halter tops/dresses are easy to make.
<antihero> bablunchich: you mean trumpet
<spinn> people might get confused and not realise it's "trumpet"
<bablunchich> So its shoes trumpet?
<sh03strump3t> It's strumpet.
*** bablunchich is now known as babich
<sh03strump3t> Shoe Strumpet.
<antihero> yep, bab
<spinn> tho paradoxically she plays the flute
<babich> of course
<raven> because that's just the kinda wacky gal she is!
<spinn> which is why we're calling her shoozfloot
<spinn> to give her that self-confidence boost so she can admit to the instrument she plays
<babich> loafer bazooki
<babich> wingtip dulcimer
<spinn> sounds like one of those preassigned aol passwords
<sh03strump3t> I can play the dulcimer, too.
<spinn> yeah, doesn't roll as nice as sh00zfl00t tho
<babich> shoegirl: what part of cambrigde you live in?
<sh03strump3t> And I want to learn how to play the sousaphone. Just so I can say, "I play the sousaphone."
<sh03strump3t> Bab: Are you going to stalk me?
<antihero> I play the sousaphone
<antihero> it's not hard, although it is different from trumpet
<antihero> or flute
<babich> I want to play the sousaphone so I can say 'asparagis'
<spinn> I just don't get the connection between shoes and trumpet though
<spinn> I didn't go to band
<babich> sh03strump3t: yes, just so I can say i did
<antihero> spinn: you'd understand if you had been there
<raven> greg : *marching* band.
<spinn> did the sections have different kinds of footwear or something?
* raven played the Birkenstock-saxophone.
<antihero> the shoes are called Dinkle's
<spinn> yeah, I know, but did like the drummers wear something different from the brass section, for example?
<antihero> Nope, the shoes were the same
<antihero> they did wear drum harnesses though
<sh03strump3t> Bab: I live really close to the Healthworks on White St.
<spinn> then I don't get the connection then
<spinn> guess I don't have that wacky out-of-the-box zany mind
<antihero> i think maybe she just likes shoes
<antihero> and trumpets
<sh03strump3t> I was in the jazz band. We didn't march.
<spinn> actually, yeah. trumpeting about her shoes
<spinn> I can see that
<antihero> or /a/ trumpet, anyway
<raven> I got new shoes!
<spinn> yeah. two shoes, one trumpet
<antihero> sh03strump3t: me too- we kinda jived
<babich> oh you live by porter
<antihero> but not march
<raven> You wore special shoes to play jazz?
<sh03strump3t> No, but they had to be black.
<spinn> hey, I'd like to see a marching blues band.
<babich> spinn: if you die in new orleans, you could be in one
<spinn> big black guy trundering down the 40 yard line with a cello
<antihero> no, wingtips to play jazz
<spinn> it never ocurred to me that footwear was so integral to what you play
<spinn> thanks, trumpet person!
<antihero> very important
<spinn> that's my new thing learned today
<sh03strump3t> This cracker jack toy is making me dizzy.
<antihero> wingtips, though, were just my personal preference
<babich> I have 4 pairs of wingtips
<spinn> I like keys.
<babich> and a basoon of course
<antihero> i had keys on my tuba
*** babich is now known as Tabi-Noseflute
<antihero> and the baritone
<spinn> I wonder why 12 apostles. wouldn't you want more so you could fight off the romans? like 5000 or so?
<antihero> but not the trombone
<antihero> actually, no, there was a key on my trombone
<sh03strump3t> This is really sad... my Cracker Jack toy is an advertisement for Champs.
<antihero> 2 on the bass trombone
<Tabi-Noseflute> ShoeWhore: that down by porter?
<spinn> if I had to pee I'd do it standing up.
<sh03strump3t> Yeah, it's near Porter Square. But I don't actually live on White Street, I live off of it.
<spinn> white street is an odd name for a street if it isn't white
<sh03strump3t> It isn't. White.
<spinn> taqke a ticket. I did.
*** Tabi-Noseflute is now known as FlipFlop-Theramin
<FlipFlop-Theramin> let me guess...you go to mass art?
<Kyol> Little. Yello. Different.
<spinn> if you have 16 guys on a dead man's chest, you don't really get much rum
<spinn> next time, just invite three or four
<Kyol> If you have nuts on the wall, they're walnuts. If you have nuts on your chest, they're chestnuts. If you have nuts on your chin, you have a dick in your mouth.
<sh03strump3t> No, I don't.
<spinn> that is /so/ true.
<Kyol> Whaddya mean it isn't non-sequitor afternoon?
<sh03strump3t> I go to another school in Cambridge.
*** FlipFlop-Theramin is now known as babich
<spinn> Douglas Adams said "zebra crosing" and I didn't get that joke for years.
<babich> harvard? MIT?
<sh03strump3t> The former, yes.
<spinn> Cambridge rhymes with Bainbridge.
<sh03strump3t> On scholarship.
<sh03strump3t> Yes, yes it does.
<spinn> trumpet scholarship?
<babich> Going to Harvard as an underclassman is silly (or at least thats been said to me alot)
<sh03strump3t> I don't actually tell anyone where I go, unless they directly ask... I notice crimsonites have a tendency to brag.
<antihero> spinn: it'd have to be a flute scholarship
<spinn> you know what else has been said to me a lot? "hand me that pen, would you?"
<babich> follow those asians their smart. Go to BU for 4 THEN go to harvard for post grad. Same with MIT.
<sh03strump3t> Well, I'm a resident in Massachusetts, and they offered me an academic scholarship.
<antihero> and "aaargh, there's a giraffe shitting on my head"
<spinn> academic trumpet scholarship?
<antihero> that's mainly been said 'round africa though
<spinn> yeah, me, not so often
<spinn> speaking of pens
<spinn> we are speaking of pens
<sh03strump3t> Actually, I just graduated.
<sh03strump3t> I applied for sophomore standing.
<spinn> graduated sophomore trumpet?
<babich> HighHealed Trollop
<spinn> This Is To Certify That blah blah blah Trumpet
<antihero> is a graduated trumpet anything like a graduated beaker?
<sh03strump3t> No, when I graduated from high school, I applied for sophomore standing... So next fall, I'll be in grad school.
<spinn> yes. yes, it is.
<spinn> grad trumpet school?
<babich> Whatever you do, dont eat anything from cardulo's. I spit in thier barrel of chocalate covered pretzels. Alot.
<babich> I had a sophomore standing, once.
<spinn> If I download any more my guts will burst with data.
<sh03strump3t> Chocolate covered pretzels don't appeal to me.
<antihero> babich: i had a sophomore lying down, once
<babich> after a while I got too tall. You try having a sophomore standing when your 6'8"
<babich> you got to put them on a milk crate or something and they get all these patterns on thier feet
<spinn> babich: Snap-Hooks (TM) as seen on TV
<antihero> you should try a stack of books
<spinn> do you like the number 8? I do. It is my friend.
<sh03strump3t> There's a store called As Seen On TV.
<sh03strump3t> It's neat.
<spinn> know what else is neat?
<spinn> a trumpet.
<babich> I actually own some of those (and those press the bulb and the light comes on thingys)
<Kyol> Why is 6 afraid of 7?
<sh03strump3t> Strumpets are neat, too.
<antihero> hehehe, yeah, the nexus of crass items to own in your own home
<spinn> yeah, but mostly trumpets.
<spinn> they're shinier.
<antihero> she misspelled trumpets, hehehe
<spinn> mostly strumpets are crawling with them aids
<spinn> heheh, yeah, "strumpet"
<Kyol> babich: You're a sucker for "As Seen on TV", aincha?
<spinn> that's like a prostitute
<spinn> funny typo
<babich> christ: kemlo must be excited about his moving up a notch to have missed the trumpet mispell
<sh03strump3t> I own Fukuoku 9000 with a power pack.
<sh03strump3t> It's neat.
<antihero> they can be shiny though... if you cover 'em with reflective jam
<spinn> Ever play Alice? Do.
<babich> Kyol: I have a freind that works in a wharehouse of that shit and he steals some stuff, not that youll believe that but...
<spinn> I have the Angry Beaver candy-dispensing toy. The candy it dispences is pure genius.
<spinn> 'course, the candy would be wizard if it were in some way trumpet-related
<babich> Put the candy to work.
<antihero> what does it dispense? Tiny blocks of yoohoo?
<Kyol> babich: Hey, that's cool, I totally understand warehouse theft.
<Kyol> I think. I think my MP# player is stuck in "queer music" mode.
<spinn> anyone want to see the little googly-eye caricatures debb glued to my cd holder?
<antihero> is it trying to suck your dick?
<antihero> and is it even male?
<spinn> there isn't enough marmalade in my immediate vicinity.
<Kyol> Well, Fine Young Cannibals, Pet Shop Boys (Saturday Night Forever), and Erasure S.O.S. so far.
<antihero> i stand corrected
<spinn> shoozfloot: this collapsing telescope doesn't focus very well, but it's a nice conversation piece to have on a keychain
<sh03strump3t> spinn, you're beginning to unnerve me.
*** babich is now known as slipper-mandolin
<spinn> shooz, there sinply aren't enough candles in this house to display my ennui
<slipper-mandolin> my new nick sounds 'dirty'
<antihero> i tried to slipper-mandolin, but she slapped me and walked away when i offered
<spinn> but then if cds weren't round, they'd clunk a lot in the player
*** sh03strump3t is now known as Sandra
*** Kyol is now known as Bob
<spinn> I wonder how long my cat is. I'd measure it, but the decision whether to include tail length would lock me in a never-ending conflict of indecision.
<Bob> *fire roars*
<Sandra> And no, I don't know what an andra is.
<slipper-mandolin> o/ say you dont want it, say you dont want it, say you dont want it, then you slip it on in.. o/
*** Bob is now known as Kyol
<Sandra> http://www.superhappybunny.com/COZIES.html I want one of these.
<spinn> sounds like a non-gender-specific version of "andro"
<Kyol> Shit. What was Chopin's first name?
<Sandra> It's something like that, I suppose.
<antihero> isn't andro that steroid alternative that the big hitters were using?
<spinn> if it helps any, I'll always think of you as shoozfloot
*** zompist has joined #spinnwebe
<Sandra> If you're referring to the Victorian era author.
<spinn> I don't want to be seen as not encouraging your musical career
<antihero> i believe
<antihero> or that
<antihero> the anglicized version is frederic
<slipper-mandolin> that was his 'hacking' name
<antihero> and that's always the correct version, right?
<Sandra> Androgel. I know this because some guy I know has five packets.
<spinn> I like numbers. 8 especially. Sideways it means much more but upside down it means much less than sideways.
<Kyol> Enh, fuckit.
<antihero> andro-steen dione (phonetically... i don't know how it's actually spelled)
<slipper-mandolin> sideways 8's go on for ever
<Kyol> Edinburgh Military Tattoo is how I'll end my work day.
* zompist wonders what alien presence is pretending to be spinn
<spinn> ever wear a really big hat? so big it covers your eyes? thought so.
*** Sandra is now known as S0ndr
<spinn> mark, sandra is shoozfloot, denying her brass section heritage
<slipper-mandolin> get it, I made an infinity joke! har!
<S0ndr> I forget. IRC doesn't like @s.
<S0ndr> IRC doesn't like ampersands either.
*** S0ndr is now known as Sandra
<antihero> it's be S0ndr4
<spinn> I take a train places. Oh, the places I'll go!
*** slipper-mandolin is now known as babich
<Sandra> spinn is having a Seuss moment.
<babich> ive never seen an indian on a horse
<Kyol> Newark finally made spinn crack.
<antihero> maybe he's trapped in a seuss fugue
<spinn> Some upper lips are too big to match their bottom lips, but I'm the only one who seems to mind. People don't appreciate it when I point this out.
<Sandra> I think he's trapped in Thing Two.
<babich> is seussafugue an istrument? It fuckin should be
<spinn> I've lost my Rap Musk. Then again, that was on purpose.
<Sandra> No, but you can spell sousaphone seussaphone.
<spinn> Silly string used to use harmful CFC's, but no more.
<spinn> RED LIGHT!
* babich stops
<Sandra> But then it wouldn't be an instrument dedicated in the memory and to the, um... genius that was Sousa.
<Sandra> Actually, I really hate Sousa.
<spinn> Sometimes I'm just in the mood for the non-marshmallow parts of Lucky Charms. I see no shame in that.
<Kyol> I miss the flammable silly string. Oh, the fun THAT was.
<Sandra> I'm going to spell it seussaphone from now on.
*** DML has joined #spinnwebe
<babich> I know a kid named Matt Sousa, I would imagine he lives within a mile of you
<antihero> I don't hate sousa... i hate guys that whack off to sousa
<DML> Hey all
<spinn> I hate guys that whack off /in/ a sousa.
<spinn> spit valve is absolutely no use after that.
<Sandra> How can you wack off to Sousa? It's /marching/ band music.
<babich> fap fap fap
<DML> What's this about whacking off and Sousa?
<antihero> i also will state my hate of guys that whack off in a sousa
<DML> That sounds frightening
<Sandra> That's what I want to know.
<zompist> you can't march and jerk?
<antihero> Sandra: some people just /really/ like his msuic
<Kyol> Some of those girls, in their big hats, playing the xylophones? Ooooh, that really gets me bothered.
<spinn> okay, I think I'm done.
<antihero> zompist: i believe you can
<antihero> spinn: you gonna be okay?
<Sandra> Jazz band didn't get to wear big hats.
<antihero> do we need to send an extraction team to newark?
<Sandra> We wore shiny shoes.
<DML> antihero: What's the difference between whacking off IN A Sousa and whacking off TO Sousa?
<babich> the taste
<antihero> I wore an electric blue suit
<spinn> I should be getting some work done, and shoozfloot seems to be missing or ignoring the point
<antihero> DML: in a sousaphone, to be precise
<antihero> spinn: not surprised, are you?
<spinn> though I'll admit that for a while it was fun to ignore all of you and babble about whatever was on my mind
<DML> What the fuck... I'm still confused
<DML> I thought this was going to be relaxing
*** Sandra is now known as sh00zfl00t
<antihero> DML: just do the happy dance
<zompist> relax? here? ARE YOU CRAZY?
<spinn> anti, guess not
<Kyol> I was crazy once....
<DML> zomp: You don't know what I think relaxing is. Palm trees and fruit drinks are aggravating, a bookstore is relaxing
<sh00zfl00t> spinn: I'm blatantly ignoring it.
<spinn> which kinda...means you aren't, doesn't it?
<antihero> Kyol: stop that! let's not get into that again
<Kyol> anti: You're safe, I only remember fragments.
<DML> Maybe I should have rephrased: I thought things would AT LEAST MAKE SENSE
<Kyol> And, in case anyone interepreted that as "Say it so Kyol learns it"...
<sh00zfl00t> DML: Maybe if you smoked some crack before you logged on...
<zompist> make sense? here? ARE YOU CRAZY?
<Kyol> Don't forget, I have the big boot of /kill.
<sh00zfl00t> I have the big stiletto of /kline... no, I don't.
<babich> I just read Mark Vonneguts Eden express yesterday. Thats about going crazy
<Kyol> No, that's me too, unfortunately.
<DML> sh00zfl00t: Maybe that works for YOU...
<sh00zfl00t> DML: I only smoke French cigarettes, thank you.
<spinn> yah, sorry, dan. I was kinda hoping constant non-inclusive nonsequiturs would get a point across to shooz here
<babich> I have a pennyloafer-harpsicord
<spinn> not the case, apparently, but I'm done either way
<Kyol> gag. not gauloises.
* Kyol marks that one up.
<sh00zfl00t> spinn, you don't love me anymore.
<spinn> I don't know you enough to have an opinion
<spinn> which is part of the point, really.
<Kyol> For those who missed it: http://www.satirewire.com/charts/tangential.shtml
<spinn> oh, yah, crap! I couldn't find that url
<spinn> I only remembered the ovulating bit, but I wanted to use the others
<Kyol> Had it up all day over here
<Kyol> But. You've _been_ to Wisconsin, right?
<spinn> yah, but I was on a full burn by the time I felt like I wanted it
<spinn> was way too busy typing to ask for it
<sh00zfl00t> And people DO drink too much milk.
*** Leth has joined #spinnwebe
<Kyol> Oooh. I forgot, the Asian Moon festival is this weekend.
<antihero> yeah, their charts are great
<sh00zfl00t> You wouldn't be ovulating if you didn't drink so much hormone-laden milk.
* Leth puts aside the glass of milk
<zompist> a bunch of asian people mooning each other?
<sh00zfl00t> Or, you wouldn't be menstruating.
<Leth> I was wondering what those cramps were
<sh00zfl00t> Drink Soy!
<spinn> well, here's my point distilled down to a line, anyway.
<spinn> shooz, do us a favor: either 1) come here to talk with us, not at us, or 2) go away
*** SIGNOFF: email@example.com (Leaving)
<babich> I wonder what she decided?
<Kyol> Mmm. Drinking something that tastes like fresh cut hay smells.
<DML> Who the hell was menstruating?
<spinn> ah, solved that.
<Leth> She chose...wisely
<spinn> apparently she was, yes
<babich> ten bucks she comes back within a week.
<Kyol> Ain't taking it.
<antihero> i know a lot of people like her
<antihero> alwyas telling stories that involve how people ask them how they dance so well, or how they get their makeup to look so good