no wonder why he thinks he has a bad connection. he's picking up interference from Jupiter's magnetic field

SWHC



<Down10> I have a few Ethernet cables in a chain, I'll go check to see if they all aren't CAT5...
<mdxi> you're coupling ethernet cables? do as spinn says and kiss your computer, with tongue.
<mdxi> i'm surprised you have a connection at all
<mdxi> and they're *all* cat5, unless one of them was made before 1990
<Leth> I...
<Leth> why...
<Leth> ok, howcome you're barrelling ethernet cables?
<spinn> because microcenter only had 3' cables
<Leth> oh, and mdxi, don't you know that cat3 is muy malo nowadays? OUr IT guys won't even let us plug them in anymore
<spinn> and they had an offer for getting the sixth barrel at $5 when you buy five at $8 each
<mdxi> Leth: yeah, all the kewl kids use thicknet and vampire taps
<Leth> wait, n/m shawn, I misread you there
<Down10> this can't be right:
<Down10> 2002-04-25 15:53:50 EST: 1246 / 93
<Down10> Your download speed : 1246432 bps, or 1246 kbps.
<Down10> A 152.1 KB/sec transfer rate.
<Down10> Your upload speed : 93501 bps, or 93 kbps.
<Down10> Seems like broadband .. above the 1mbit barrier!
<spinn> you're right, it must be mistaken. maybe the orer of your cables is off
<spinn> disconnect them and rotate the order that they go from your machine to the router
<spinn> and try the test again
<Down10> I check and two of the cables are "CAT5" and two are "CAT5e" -- what's the difference?
<spinn> the cat5 one should be closest to the router
<agent_orange> maybe you have a frame relay drop and are just too ignernt to know it
<Down10> I'll check again later tonight, when there's less traffic
<spinn> er, no, wait a minute
<CrazyClimber> you have to cross the street to check the cables?
<Down10> no, they're woven all around the walls of this old Victorian house
<CrazyClimber> that's oddly poetic.
<agent_orange> like ivy
<Down10> that's me: oddly poetic
<agent_orange> 1246 kbps wisteria vine
<Down10> that sounded like a lyric from a Counting Crows song
<spinn> down: so what is it that leads you believe that your transfer rate is 1/10th of what it should be
<agent_orange> gin
<spinn> given you'd need a supercooled laser transmitter to make it ten times faster than it is now
<Down10> a little light on the router
<spinn> what, the 10/100 light?
<agent_orange> jesus
<Down10> yep
<Samwise> You're kidding.
*** Down10 has quit IRC (Local kill by spinn (schmuck))
<Samwise> *SAY* you're kidding.
<agent_orange> "It *talks* to meee!"
<agent_orange> fuckwit
<CrazyClimber> i'm dyin' here
*** Down10 has joined #spinnwebe
<Down10> Well, I never
<agent_orange> you need one of those on your forehead
<SeanQ> I don't even know what the fuck you all are talking about, and I'm still laughing
<agent_orange> look like a fuckin' pilot fish
<Machival> bahahaha... man... glad I caught that...
<tieboy> i don't get it either
<spinn> so the signal is straining through the hazy, unclear medium of the barrelled cat5 connections
<spinn> and if only he could get that 100 kb rate on the router his path would be clear
<agent_orange> 5.7 miles of twisted coax, wrapped around the house like a fuckinn' mummy...
<spinn> repeater every 4000 feet, or 2 feet, depending on how you're measuring
* Down10 waits
<spinn> yeah, we'll grind down eventually
<raven> hehehehehe, whole house becomes a damn electromagnet when he logs in.
<CrazyClimber> pulling satellites down from orbit
<spinn> boots up and wrenches and scissors leap to the air and hover three feet above the floor
<mdxi> wireless dead spot 40 miles scross
<agent_orange> ***Down10 notices the "act" light and does a wicked Cagney
<Down10> Like the X-Men movie
<raven> EMP knocking out clock radios for miles around....
<raven> 12:00....12:00...12:00.....
<CrazyClimber> finally, the fcc knocks on his door, tells him to take the pirate station down
<agent_orange> Mom out back, setting up the tesla coil
<Samwise> Note: the "Power" light being on does not mean your computer can fly or has heat vision.
<spinn> no wonder why he thinks he has a bad connection. he's picking up interference from Jupiter's magnetic field
<Down10> you mean these cables aren't made from the fur of 5 cats?
<agent_orange> that warez copy of PhotoShop 7 downloads so fast it makes the windows rattle
<Machival> "Honey, did we /always/ have aluminum siding?"
<spinn> down, leave the riffing on your network to the professionals, okay
<CrazyClimber> nasa asks him to retrieve the photos from the galileo orbiter, since he can get 'em faster
<Down10> downloading MP3s before they were even recorded
<Machival> cc: yeah, by pulling the thing down from space into his back yard.
<Down10> Oh, only PROFESSIONAL geeks can joke about networking
<Samwise> Professional or funny.
<CrazyClimber> yeah, it isn't that you aren't geeky enough, believe us
<Down10> You want I should join the union?
<CrazyClimber> if you know what i'm saying
<spinn> no, only professional riffers can do it funny
<raven> see, SECRETARIES joke about felines and cat5.
<Leth> Hey! NOTHING is funny about networking. It's serious business, son, best left to those who don't cause aurora borealis by powering up
<spinn> yeah, teasdale would've made that one
<Down10> oh shit. I don't really sound like that, do I?
<spinn> RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE "honey! are you on the naughty sites again?" "no, ma!"
<spinn> not generally. though that one did
<tieboy> at least we know what the power crisis was all about now
<spinn> yeah, that's why cheney backed off the energy crisis issue. it wasn't a big deal after down got a router
<Down10> it's these drugs. they're screwing with my head
<spinn> the little 10/100 light saved us all
<Samwise> Oh, are you taking them wrong? Because that can make you pretend to be a pedophile.
<spinn> yeah. you can't load up for the next two years
<Down10> I'm seing little green lights everywhere, thinking they're out to get me
<Down10> ...
<Down10> YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU TOO
*** Down10 has quit IRC (Quit: ])
<CrazyClimber> okay then
<tieboy> maybe the walls shaking and the power going out in the neighborhood and the lightning flashes tell him to go ahead, proceed
<raven> man, we need a new rule about people taking meds in here.
<Samwise> "Follow doctor's orders or don't take 'em at all"
<SeanQ> i think his sister just got home with her new braces
<SeanQ> he has to go peel her off the router


Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
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