*squeak squeak* [lifts hindquarters] [deflates]

*** boi_work has joined #Spinnwebe
<boi_work> ola people! long time no see/hear. ;)
<boi_work> jeeb seen hockeyfag?
<jeeb> hockeyfag was last seen on IRC 5 days, 10 hours, 18 minutes and 17 seconds ago, saying: licking ass can be fun [Sat Apr 14 00:53:50 2001]
* Leth slides his lunch aside
<boi_work> and boi has to agree to that statement.
<Leth> won't be needing that now
<boi_work> hee hee hee
<boi_work> sorry...
<CrazyClimber> hey, leth, if you were having hot dogs, you'd be agreeing anyway
* boi_work kneels in appology.
* KemloCaesar takes advantage of boi's kneeling position to swiftly decapitate him.
<KemloCaesar> Quiet.
<Elkman> Oh, sorry, Leth. That didn't help your situation, did it?
<Leth> one of the many reasons I generally don't eat hot dogs, CC
<CrazyClimber> "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"
*** Samwise has changed the topic on channel #spinnwebe to * KemloCaesar takes advantage of boi's kneeling position
<KemloCaesar> heh. I expected that.
<Samwise> I concede my title of best straight lines.
<Leth> wow, now isn't that ironic
<Samwise> Er, that line isn't quite "straight", is it.
<TheEnigma> It seems to indicate the sucking of a penis
<boi_work> kinda twisted if ya ask me.
<SoiledGreen> she's getting her fuckin' shoes.
*** Leth has changed the topic on channel #spinnwebe to * KemloCaesar takes advantage of boi's kneeling position <boi_work> kinda twisted if ya ask me.
<CrazyClimber> if that's what she uses them for, sg, you're better off without 'em anyway
<ristoril> i don't wear shoes when i fuck
<ristoril> i'd be insulted if the chick did, unless it was some B&D
<SoiledGreen> or maybe she will give 'em to that demented guy of hers.
* boi_work prefers hockey skates or bondage boots...
<Elkman> Bondage boots?
<SoiledGreen> is that a brand?
<CrazyClimber> elk, if he answers, YOU HAVE ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME.
* SoiledGreen thinks of chuck taylors and fishnets.
<boi_work> kinda like downhill ski boots, except they come in tighter sizes or with little extras like removable souls for foot access or hooks for upside down suspension. ;)
<Elkman> I can handle it. Feet aren't a sex organ.
<boi_work> oh, your wrong there Elk.
<raven> Do you need an exorcism to remove the souls?
<Elkman> Oh, no. No, NO, NO. I actually own downhill ski boots.
<KemloCaesar> actually, I was reading an entomology book a while back, and in some species...
* CrazyClimber points elk to the last thing i said
<Leth> *** raven joins the punfest 17 minutes later
* raven whaps leth.
*** Leth has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by Elkman (Elkman)
<Elkman> I bought the ski boots at a normal ski store, though.
* boi_work thinks this is the most fun he's had in a few days...
<boi_work> oh, wait, you probably already knew that. sorry.
<TheEnigma> Wow. I go to heat up food, I miss the wackiness.
<CrazyClimber> <Elkman> Got any pictures of how that could be done?
<SoiledGreen> hey 'nig.
* SeanQ is back
<Elkman> Nah, I usually use them for their intended purpose: to keep my skiboards on my feet.
<SeanQ> *** KemloCaesar is now known as Bill_Clinton
<boi_work> is channel this much fun when boi's not around?
<SeanQ> ./msg Elkman whatever you do don't ask him about the ski poles
<Elkman> It's okay. I don't use ski poles.
<Leth> he prefers Germans
<TheEnigma> Yeah, we wind up on the topic of sex very often.
<boi_work> those make excellent spreader bars... amongst other things.
<boi_work> the ski poles that is, and even a few germans i understand. ;)
<Elkman> I don't use ski poles!!
<TheEnigma> Because SEE, you can put the SKI POLE right up someone's GAPING RECTUM, and it'll HURT!
<boi_work> yeah yeah, sure sure... what ever...
<Elkman> And I do not want to know what spreader bars are, either.
<boi_work> those are the innocent things...
<boi_work> nothing wierd about those..
<CrazyClimber> that's how you get the peanut butter on the bread
<boi_work> excatly!
<CrazyClimber> uh, the "peanut butter" on the "bread"
<TheEnigma> "on"
<SeanQ-lunch> s/bread/oh wait nevermind I'm at lunch
<TheEnigma> The whole thing needs to be in quotes
<SeanQ-lunch> "
* SeanQ-lunch will close them when he gets back
<CrazyClimber> well, that's up to rave, DCC it to her
<Leth> that only applies though when you're trying to get your dog to-*ARRRGH* *THUD*
<Elkman> Oh, I forgot. I need to add "DCCing logs to Raven" to my list.
<ristoril> didn't the insane fan in that stephen king novel use spreader 2x4s?
<CrazyClimber> that's an awful lot of "peanut butter"
<boi_work> possibly, not big on steven king novels.. ;(
<Lore> It puts the peanut butter on the bread.
<TheEnigma> Yeah. "Misery."
<Leth> 4x4s I think, rist
<Lore> It puts the peanut butter on the bread, then puts the knife in the sink.
<boi_work> i thought she just shattered the guys ankles with a sledge hammer?
<Lore> PUT THE FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER ON THE BREAD!
<raven> What list, Elk?
<Elkman> Uh, a list. That I'm compiling.
<Leth> "How Best To Piss Off Raven"
<TheEnigma> A list of things that can be listed.
<Lore> I wouldn't want to be on any list that would have me as an action item.
<TheEnigma> He's putting it next to his list entitled "Things I Can Get When I Use Hostages As A Bargaining Tool."
<CrazyClimber> would you rather be a bullet point?
<Lore> Take me offline, BABY!
<Elkman> Actually, it's the big list of channel inside jokes./
<Leth> "For April we are offering The Last Laugh our which is a "toy" modeled after a Hyena Penis. Its porportions are accurate and the toy itself is quite useable. "
<raven> Heh. Doesn't piss me off any more. I used to care that the channel members had the reading comprehension of chimps, but I let that slide now. :)
* Leth decides to not read that page anymore
<TheEnigma> What the HELL is that from, Leth?
<CrazyClimber> lunch menu at the company caf?
<Leth> http://www.furcen.org/~zetatoys/animalp.html
* KemloCaesar considers going to that page....
<TheEnigma> Please say there's not a picture...
* raven sees the word "fur" in the URL and lets it slide.
<Leth> oh, there is
<Leth> good call rave
<TheEnigma> "Animal Dildos."
<Lore> Give Lore apple give give Lore want apple hug
<boi_work> gotta show that one to sir!
<TheEnigma> I'm going to save a little bit of sanity and pretend that this page is for people who just want to really, really make their pets happy.
<Elkman> Your secret desire is to be abused by a hyena penis?
<Elkman> Aren't hockey sticks enough?
<boi_work> actually a horse but thats beside the 'point'
<111>29 and to answer you elk, no, not really. ;)
<Lore> "This unique [kangaroo] cock was fashioned by Tigger from pictures obtained in various places."
<Lore> "...including a humorous captioning page..."
<Lore> My question is, when are they going to create a latex lion vagina?
<Leth> hey, an anatomicaly correct inflatable dolphin ride-on toy
<min> now *that* is something i've been looking for for years now!
<mdxi> look at all the different ways for me to be a FUCKING MORON
<Leth> well min, here ya go: http://www.furcen.org/~zetatoys/infdolph.html
* SoiledGreen decides not to go there... he's cooking.
<TheEnigma> And thank God they finally made one!
<min> so obliging
<Elkman> "In the jungle, the steamy jungle, the lion fucks tonight..."
<Leth> call it a welcome wagon gift from us here at #sw
<KemloCaesar> so, who're you a friend of?
<SoiledGreen> oh yeah. and we are only %15 funny.
<min> the FUCKING MORON
<TheEnigma> Well, I can sleep tonight now that I know they've made an anatomically correct inflatable dolphin.
<SoiledGreen> the big fucking moron?
<Leth> oh, get your social security # and at least three forms of ID ready for Kemlo
<TheEnigma> They bought a regular inflatable dolphin, the kind with handles, the kind kids use in a pool.
<KemloCaesar> nah, don't need that. A blood sample will do.
<TheEnigma> And they attached a neon pink penis to it.
<SoiledGreen> oh yeah... and we need a credit card number and your Blockbuster Movie account number.
* min pulls out her credit card
<mdxi> ILL TELL YOU WHAT PEOPLE RESPOND TO: SEVERE BEATINGS
<boi_work> the only response i know for that is unconciousness
<mdxi> i'm turning into a real PISS-ASS
<boi_work> but is that abad thing i ask?
<TheEnigma> Or "ouch! Hey! Stop th...OUCH! HEY! OW!"
<boi_work> well i guess if you want to get techincal thats what they might say BEFORE they pass out. :)
<Lore> *squeak squeak* [liffts hindquarters] [deflates]
* Samwise blinkblinks... new person? Where's that soup...
<raven> By now, complete strangers must know better than to view anything we suggest to a newbie, sam. :)
<Samwise> True enough.
<Leth> besides, we already introduced min here to the dolphin dick, so...
<Samwise> "And in other news, ruffiani links are still hazardous to your mental health. Jane?"
<KemloCaesar> min - have you seen goatse.cx yet?
<min> no, but thanks for that great wake up
<Leth> heh
<min> and to think...my day had been boring up to that point
<TheEnigma> Now it's been filled with visions of a neon pink dolphin wang