It's like scribbling on a bar napkin. except with secret wanking immediately thereafter.
*** DML has joined channel #spinnwebe
<DML> FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck
<Machival> s'that an order?
<DML> Hush, you.
<DML> Hallmate walks in on me beating off.
<sol-D> was it obvious?
<DML> Not entirely.
<sol-D> pretend it didn't happen!
<DML> Hopefully I can...
<spinn> and so you decided to come in here and cement the image for the rest of us
<DML> But he outs me to a suitemate
<sol-D> were you rolling in gay porn?
<DML> "Alex's roomate is a fag!" "Dude, it's 4 AM." "No, it's fine. Go back to your room and look at gay porn or whatever."
<DML> Actually, no, I don't think so
<hiway> could have asked him to join in!
<DML> I was updating my LJ at the moment
<sol-D> while... erm..
<Machival> be all like... "oh, my god! my... my hand just started, like, ATTACKING my penis! help me get the fight under control!"
<spinn> "help faster! and a little firmer."
<Machival> you... updating your LJ is cause for masturbation?
<Machival> most people look at, like, porn or something.
<Machival> or fantacize about sex.
<sol-D> or fall asleep trying to fantasize
<sol-D> and wake up all cramped
<sol-D> and your arms are asleep.
<DML> Well, it was between checking emails for porn and whatnot
<hiway> checking email for porn.
<DML> I'm trying to figure out what was on my screen at the time right now
<spinn> "oh yeah. the 'damnit, I'm trying to masturbate here' screensaver."
<spinn> you should make a "do not disturb" sign, dan
<spinn> hang it on the doorknob
<spinn> little cartoon drawing of you biting your lip
<hiway> or a "wanking, go away" sign, if they don't get the hint.
<spinn> that's as far as I go there. I am working on this sound file again, and for a long time
<Machival> just get a red permanent marker, write "masturbating" really big on a sock, and hang it from your doorknob.
<DML> I don't know why the door wasn't locked, either. I locked it
<DML> And then I went to the bathroom... fuck
<DML> Why didn't I relock the door? :P
<spinn> because you secretly want him to help you wrestle your penis under control
<hiway> I like machi's sock idea.
<hiway> though you should draw big red arrows to it, so you're sure people notice.
<hiway> er, the sock, not your penis.
<sol-D> well, maybe his penis needs noticing
<Machival> hiway: duct tape a piece of paper to the tip of the sock with a big red arrow pointing up.
<hiway> hm. but that's just an aesthetic choice. the sock... it's... I can't explain it.
<hiway> but I know it's more important for the sock to be noticed. than for the penis. yes.
<Machival> or fill the sock with battery-operated christmas lights.
<sol-D> then it loses the sock nature.
<spinn> yeah, the sock was a good choice
<spinn> even aside from the symbolic one
<spinn> like the rawness of it
<spinn> because what a crappy sign it would make
<spinn> but, you know, you want to just get any damn thing up there and now
<spinn> it's like scribbling on a bar napkin. except with secret wanking immediately thereafter
<hiway> and I'd think that people'd respect a wank sock more than just an ordinary sign.
<Freyja> IT STRIKES A DEEPER FEAR
<sol-D> it's like he had TWO socks, took off one and wrote on it, took off the other...
<hiway> WANK SOCK BRINGS TERROR.
<hiway> also presents.
<spinn> PH33R WANK SOCK
<Freyja> **nick jeeb
<DML> Maybe I should write that on Reed's door.
<spinn> frey, actually that was better with the caps
<spinn> 50's announcer voice
<Freyja> no, I still feel like a dumbass
<DML> cb Dan's wank sock
<jeeb> I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT I'LL BE WANG CHUNGING FROM 6PM TO 8PM TONIGHT
<spinn> oh come on
<DML> That was too perfect.
<spinn> if you need more proof that there is a God I simply cannot help you
<sol-D> he does his best with what he has
<spinn> that guarantees a mention of dan's secret wanking in the logs
<hiway> hah, whee.
<hiway> er, semisecret.
<hiway> and if he puts up the sock...
<spinn> and to those of you reading along: yes, this log was my fault
<DML> My secret wanking? How the fuck is it secret?
<DML> There is no longer any secrecy at all about this
<sol-D> indeed. wave that wank flag! you earned it!
<spinn> well christ, dan, there isn't, I'm just spilling my heart of its hopes and dreams
<spinn> if only there were some way YOUR WANKING WERE A TOTAL SECRET FROM ME
<Freyja> if we have to live with the knowledge, by god, everyone will
|Heather Garvey / Raven / email@example.com||I want to submit a log!|