#spinnwebe Logs : $1000 on Wilfred Brimley.

<tieboy> I dated this girl for a while, and she was really boring in the sack, and then my friend dated her and she gave him hummers and did all this cool stuff to him.
<tieboy> I was like, wtf?
<tieboy> beee-otch
<TheDodge> Did it ever occur to you that your friend might be replete with excrement?
<jacquilyn> Replete with excrement?
<jacquilyn> Bahaha.
<tieboy> Well, I dunno. I guess he might have been. It all sounded pretty uncharacteristic for her
<jacquilyn> That's the first thing I read when I came back from a coffee run.
<jacquilyn> And all I could think of was 'like the tent?'
<Samwise> Heh. I'm sure that was intentional humor.
<jacquilyn> I know, I know. It's been a really long day.
<shil> WAHOO!! IT FINALLY WORKS!
<shil> ... mostly
<jacquilyn> Shile figure out the on/off switch for her computer?
<shil> lookie here, little miss snide remark :P
<Samwise> Catfiiiight!
* tieboy gets the oil
<Samwise> $20 on shil!
<jacquilyn> 'little miss snide remark'?
<jacquilyn> Wow. I'm soooooo hurt.
<shil> heheh
<tieboy> rave, luckily i hadn't invested much time with her, it was fairly casual
* Raven sets up bleachers.
<jacquilyn> Try starting with bitch and maybe working your way up to something that's actually insulting.
* tieboy sets up video cameras
<Samwise> Oh, just casual, and you expected her to give you her best stuff in the sack?
<tieboy> I gave her my best stuff, dammit.
* Leth wheels in the keg. Leth takes care of the IMPORTANT things.
* Raven mixes the Jello.
<jacquilyn> Apparentlyyour best wasn't good enough, tie.
<TomtheFish> maybe you shouldn't have hung that inside slider, tie
* Samwise looks for the contestants...
<tieboy> jac, instead of making snide remarks to me, shouldn't you be oil rasslin' with shil by now?
<Samwise> Dammit, if there's no fight, what the hell are we gonna do with this oil, jello & video equipment?!
<OrrinBlo> Make a Green Day video?
<TheDodge> "Laydeeeeeeeeees aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnd Gentlemen!"
<jacquilyn> Oh, sorry, were you expecting us to have this fight where you could watch. Silly us. We've been using /msg
<TomtheFish> the gulf war: pt 2
<Samwise> Who you talking to, Dodge?
<mdxi> do oil and jello mix?
<TheDodge> "Step right up folks, and witness the battle of battles!"
<Samwise> mdxi: we're hopefully about to find out.
<TheDodge> You, the young man in the front row
<OrrinBlo> WHo, me>
<Raven> mdxi : The oil keeps the Jello from sticking.
<jacquilyn> Shil, wash off that pudding and come back to the channel. The boys wanna watch.
<OrrinBlo> Where's the fun in it then?
<TheDodge> Step right up and see the Spinnwebe Wrestling Federation Women's Championship Bout!
<TheDodge> One thin dime, one tenth of dollar gets you prime seating in the Oing Gallery!
<OrrinBlo> We're in for a world of burp...
<tieboy> Fine. Maybe I'll just rassle with Shil instead
<jacquilyn> Tie vs. Shil?
* Samwise watches a flaming kitten run across the ring with a "Round 1" sign on its back
<jacquilyn> $500 on Tie.
<shil> all i'd have to do is sit on 'im
<TheDodge> Coming down the aisle...from Nashville, TN, weighing in at, well, anyway, your SWF Women's Champion, Shilantra the Destroyer
<shil> RAH!!!
* tieboy hits shil with a folding chair
<Samwise> *applause*
<tieboy> oh, haven't we started yet>
* Raven whistles and cheers!
* tieboy hits Sam with a folding chair
* shil gets tieboy in a headlock
<tieboy> oops
<TheDodge> And her opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Dangerous Dodge Silver, from San Francisco, CA....Tie "Me Up And Beat Me Like a Bitch" Boy!
<OrrinBlo> POPcorn, getcher POPcorn...
* Samwise folds
<OrrinBlo> ...PEAnuts...Dead Zombie PEAnuts...
* tieboy flips the bird to the crowd
<Samwise> Booooooooooooo
* shil takes tie down while he's not looking
<OrrinBlo> ...Soylent Crunch, just a dolla...
* jacquilyn catches tie's bird. Oh look, it's a canary.
* Raven signals Orrin for a bag of Soylent Crunch and a tall, frosty Oing.
<Samwise> Yeah Shil!
* shil slams tie down on his face and sits on his back.
<Samwise> Remember the burrito; don't let 'im fart!!
<shil> thus suffocating tie and me winning!
<OrrinBlo> Oing... the vice-Pope of beers. Have one today.
<Raven> C'mon, TIE!
* tieboy flips shil over and noogies her head
<Raven> tie-BOY! tie-BOY!
<shil> no fair! I suffocated you!
<OrrinBlo> No, ma'am, we're all out of Vince McMahon blow-up love dolls...
* Leth just sits back, drinks his beer, and waits for tie to do that top-removal move John Candy did in Stripes
<jacquilyn> Damn. Got any of those Rowdy Roddy Piper blow-up dolls, then?
* tieboy removes his top
<tieboy> how's that?
* Leth spits out his beer
<Leth> no no no no
* TheDodge 's music cues up and he appears under the Titan-Tron
<Samwise> ShilahnTRA! ShilahnTRA!
* shil gives tie a texas titty twister
<OrrinBlo> Lessee...you want the "Hell Comes to Frogtown" or the "They Live" model, madame?
*** TheDodge is now known as GoodOlJR
<tieboy> OW! I'm not from Texas
<GoodOlJR> My god!
<GoodOlJR> This is a real barn burner!
* tieboy gives shil the Rhode Island Tittie Twister
<GoodOlJR> A slobberknocker! This is turning into a Pier 6 Brawl!
<jacquilyn> Keep your God outta this JR. God ain't got nothin' to do with this.
* tieboy performs a chocolate whip, vanilla whip, and strawberry whip. 3 whips, there
<GoodOlJR> RHODE ISLAND! RHODE ISLAND! RHODE ISLAND!
<OrrinBlo> Real World Celebrity Deathmatch, later tonight...
* tieboy flicks shil's ear with his finger in an annoying manner
<GoodOlJR> What an ear flick by the challenger!
* shil pokes tieboy.. does that bother you? huh? huh?
<GoodOlJR> Oooh, and the champ counters with a poke
* Samwise listens to the roar of the crowd... SNNNNNKKKKKKT
<GoodOlJR> This could degenerate into an "I'm Not Touching You" Battle of Wills
* tieboy disguises himself as Wilford Brimley, offers Shil oatmeal, and while she eats, he elbows her in the back
* shil spews oatmeal all over the crowd.
<jacquilyn> It's okay Shil. You derive strength from the oatmeal. It's good for you.
<GoodOlJR> The crowd sounds congested tonight. SWF Wrestling is Gniltserw is brought to you by Sinex!
* shil dumps the remaining oatmeal over tie's head
<Samwise> Go for the Shatner!
<GoodOlJR> QUAKER OATS! QUAKER! QUAKER!
<OrrinBlo> ...but no Dirty Hermans, you hear?
* tieboy throws a punch which misses, but makes a "punch" sound effect
*** GoodOlJR is now known as JerryLawler
<jacquilyn> I wanna change my bet. $1000 on Wilfred Brimley.
<JerryLawler> I wanna see some puppies!!!
*** JerryLawler is now known as GoodOlJR
<GoodOlJR> Why don't you shut up, pervert!
*** SeanQ is now known as Wilfred_Brimley
<Wilfred_Brimley> buncha pussies
*** OrrinBlo is now known as NickDiam
*** Wilfred_Brimley is now known as SeanQ
<GoodOlJR> WILFRED BRIMLEY! My god!
* tieboy signs a lucrative book deal and poses for action figure maker from Mattel
*** NickDiam is now known as JonyGomz
<Raven> Does Action Tieboy have Kung-Fu Grip(TM)?
* Samwise tosses in an illegal foreign object
* shil retires from SWF Wrestling and lives a private life doing D.A.R.E. speaches in public schools.
*** JonyGomz is now known as OrrinBlo
<GoodOlJR> Uh oh...The Ref has found a Japanese DVD Disc in the ring
* tieboy clobbers shil with Elian GOnzales
<GoodOlJR> Yes, he's ruling it is an illegal foreign object!
<OrrinBlo> Ondelay ondelay arriba arriba
*** SeanQ is now known as Elian_Gonzales
<Elian_Gonzales> Ay caramba! Dios mio! Mi cabeza!
*** OrrinBlo is now known as these_names_can_be_this_freaki
<GoodOlJR> En espanol donde si diponsible!
* shil holds Elian by the feet and swings him around, bashing tieboy in the side.
* Elian_Gonzales vaya al Cuba
<Elian_Gonzales> Fidel, ayudame por favor!
<these_names_can_be_this_freaki> We'll see you/ in C-U/ B-ayyyy....
<GoodOlJR> Throw him through the Spanish Announce Table!
<Elian_Gonzales> que lastima
<GoodOlJR> Oops, I'm supposed to be the face commentator
*** Elian_Gonzales is now known as SeanQ
*** these_names_can_be_this_freaki is now known as a
* SeanQ just used every last ounce of High School Spanish he remembers
*** GoodOlJR is now known as TheDodge
*** a is now known as OrrinBlo2
<TheDodge> A...you're adorable!
*** Samwise is now known as TheFonz
<TheFonz> Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!
* TheDodge smells what the Fonz is cooking.
<TheFonz> I been lookin' all oveh feh you!
*** TheFonz is now known as Samwise
<shil> ok.. so I won! yay me!
<jacquilyn> Damn. Between my bet on tie and my bet on Wilfred, I'm out like a $1500.
* jacquilyn grabs a calculater and converts that to American money.
* jacquilyn pulls the American quarter she got in change yesterday out and flips it to the group.
<jacquilyn> That should cover my debts.
* Leth makes change for Jac
<jacquilyn> Nah. S'okay. You can keep the change, mano.
* Leth tosses the 23 cents pack in his pocket
* tieboy floats like a butterfly, stings like a nori
<Leth> thanks
* SeanQ purchases the Expos with some loose change he found in the couch cushions
<jacquilyn> Hey, the expos are actually good htis year. They'd cost at least a dollar.
* SeanQ purchases the Canadiens with some loose change he found in the couch cushions
<jacquilyn> Now the Jays. You could get them for pocket change even in Canadian.
<Leth> American, or Canadian?
<tieboy> No fair, I got distracted by the idiot who can't print his calendar
* tieboy calls for a rematch
<jacquilyn> Printing calendars is hard. That's why we have special applications to do it.
* Leth calls for more beer
* Samwise lights tie's cig again
* shil calls someone who cares. :P
<jacquilyn> Leth, I think you should give Shil my quarter to cover that call...
<shil> heh.. that wouldn't even cover it.. it's .35 nowadays
<jacquilyn> What? That's nuts.
<jacquilyn> .35 American? To make a phone call? That's a local call? Ridiculous. Next thing you know they'll start chargning by the minute for local calls and it will be like the American Revolution never even happened.
<Leth> oh, sorry...I bought a Mountain Dew with the quarter already
<shil> well.. I know leth doesn't care.
<shil> harumph.
<Leth> yup, that about covers it
* shil pouts
<Leth> hey, at least I'm honest