alt.fan.spinnwebe Logs : Keane Vs. Spinn

[The Setup : spinn replied concerning defending the DFC should Keane sue him : I know we've been down here enough, but: the key word there is "try". Sure, I'd love to try defending it. After reviewing the Fair Use thingy, I think I'd have an above average chance of winning that fight. Given, of course, that either a) the prosecutors are Kaufman and SeanQ, or b) King fronts equal money for my defense as they would my prosecution.

kaufman responded :]

Kaufman: Do you swear to pull my finger, the whole finger, and nothing but my finger?

spinn: I do.

SeanQ: Do you live in the Featureless Void?

spinn: No I do not,

SeanQ: Have you ever been to the Featureless Void?

spinn: Does Gary, Indiana count?

SeanQ: I submit for the Court Exhibit A. Do you recognize this image?

spinn: It's a recent DFC panel, #420, I believe.

Kaufman: It shows Dolly and PJ emptying a piggy bank, does it not?

spinn: That's correct.

Kaufman: What happened to this cartoon? Did you toss it into the Featureless Void?

spinn: No, that's not it at all.

Kaufman: Did you embezzle the money yourself?

spinn: No ...

Kaufman: ... And did you use that money to bribe the International Olympic Committee to hold the 2010 Winter Olympics in Gary?

spinn: Not at all!

SeanQ: Do you know the penal codes in this state?

Raven: Objection! Red Zone.

SeanQ: Question withdrawn (prematurely).

Raven: Objection!

Kaufman: I submit Exhibit B, DFC panel #424. Do you deny that this picture shows Bil Keane pouring a contraband substance down the drain?

spinn: How should I know if it's contraband?

Kaufman: In all your years at DFC, do you ever recall a Keane possessing or injesting a non-contraband or otherwise taboo substance?

spinn: I don't recall, I'll have to think about it.

SeanQ: So you've been knowingly harboring, aiding and abetting these illegal activities ...

spinn: For cryin' out loud, they're only cartoons!

SeanQ: Only cartoons? So you're regarding them as second class citizens. Brings back memories of the German ...

Raven: Objection! Bringing up Nazis in a Usenet posting before the debate has totally degraded to worthless name-calling.

Judge: Sustained. I hold you in contempt.

SeanQ: As long as you don't hold me in your nutsak ...

Judge: Order! Order!

Kaufman: I'll have a large Soylent Green with a side of Barfy, please.