Day 4: "Why The Tab Key Doesn't Bring Soda"

SWHC



<spinn> We would be Crazy to think we could build SkyBiz 2000 without educating the masses into the Computer Age.
<spinn> yes, you'd be Crazy not to educate the masses into the Computer Age.
<spinn> educate the masses into the Computer Age by telling them how to learn the personal computer
<agent_orange> Go "fuck" your "self"
<agent_orange> "Finally, a way for families to stay in touch" --thank god, someone figured out a way to stay in touch
<agent_orange> I've been so worried about my kin back i the old country
<spinn> thank God for the Internet, because otherwise we'd have to invent some crazy, electric sending-voices machine
<spinn> or develop a nationwide (or "world" wide) network of message handlers..."carriers" if you will...to move your messages from one place to another physically
<spinn> and who has the time for that???
<agent_orange> Hell, all twelve kids were grown with farms of their own before Maw-maw's boat cleared the azores!
<spinn> oh man.
<spinn> they provide free courses in windows 3.1, windows 95, windows 98, image resizing that teaches you how to size pictures properly for the Web, creating Folders, Saving Graphics
<spinn> Hi, I'd like to sign up for Creating Folders that enable you to organize your computer 104
<tieboy> Day Five of Creating Folders: "Naming them"
<spinn> "hi, can I sign up for Saving Graphics from the Web to your computer and using them on your Website?"
<spinn> "are you interested in Plagiarism or Copyright Infringement?"
<spinn> well, yeah, the first three days are spent explaining that you can't actually open up the screen and pull out manilla folders
<agent_orange> Hey, don't laugh. I failed that naming folders class so many times i had to change my major!
<tieboy> spinn: haaa haa
<spinn> yeah, you may laugh, but my brother died by not naming a folder, and let me tell you, it's not so funny when it happens to someone you love
<tieboy> It was his own fault! He didn't take the required 2 years of Windows 3.1 first
<CrazyClimber> Don't Break The Chain! Name A Folder And Send It To 5 Of Your Friends ! ! !
<agent_orange> I'm glad i can finally get hip and join the computer revoluiton with that Windows 3.1 course
<agent_orange> I wonder if they have a Ready Set Go! page layout program
<agent_orange> or an associates degree in DOS 2.0
<tieboy> "Mouse Buttons. Why Are There Two of Them?"
<jacquilyn> Advaced Mouse Buttons. What that third one is for.
<tieboy> "Mouse Pads: What if Your Mouse Slides Off The Edge?"
<jacquilyn> Topic 1: Hey, I'm at the edge of the pad but I still have screen left. What do I do now?
<agent_orange> Mouse Pads vs. Mouse Tampons: a Doctor Explains
<SeanQ_interviewing> jacq: shut down, run to Staples, and buy another mouse pad
<jacquilyn> But my desk is already covered in mouse pads! Can I use the floor?
<agent_orange> "Lesson 3: Finding the 'any' key"
<CrazyClimber> Day 4: "Why The Tab Key Doesn't Bring Soda"
<agent_orange> Do you have hair on your mouse ball? Some alternatives for treatment discussed.
<tieboy> Day 5: We'll Show You The "Key" to the "Caps Lock"
<jacquilyn> Day 999: You're hopeless. Introducing CTRL - ALT - DEL.
<CrazyClimber> Day 6: Using the "Home" Key... At "Work"
<CrazyClimber> "When you step away from the computer, use the 'Break' key, so it knows."
<tieboy> "Confused by your keyboard? Pry up the letters and put them in alphabetical order."
<jacquilyn> Day 7: I have more than one set of numbers. What are the other numbers for?
<CrazyClimber> Semester 2: How To Underline Without Backspacing And Then Hitting the Underline Key a Bunch
<spinn> heh. "Cool animated text tricks using backspace codes on your local bbs"
<jacquilyn> Prerequisites for semestre 2: Ability to type. Knowledge of what underlining is. Turning on your computer yourself.
<agent_orange> Day 25: Num Lock is not a Vietnamese fish sauce


Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
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