Car54, Where Are-- Oh, There You Are. Plugged Into the Wall


<tieboy> uh-oh
<tieboy> front page
<tieboy> IT BEGINS
<FreyFood> you thought cops on bikes looked undignified...
<tieboy> Atlanta is being razed and rebuilt as we speak
<tieboy> Frey: you were right
<tieboy> er
<tieboy> "Two cops at a 4-hour stand-off"
<raven> So the Segway goes 12 mph and can go for 15 miles. Whoo, an hour or two max. That'll be effective.
<Freyja> Segways have all the raw X-Treme RAD!!! appeal of electric wheelchairs.
<tieboy> COPS: on Segway
<raven> Heh, I remember when they were going to cost $3000. Now it's $4000.
<tieboy> DiPS
<spinn> bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna hey come back
<Freyja> they /have/ to find a way to put the flashing lights on there.
<Freyja> that would be hysterical
<spinn> they issue a helmet with a big rotating light on it
<agent_orange> and an appropriate siren
<Kyol> Freyja: They're going to be used to pull over cripples in wheelchairs.
<spinn> I wanna know how they expect to chase someone on it and not get it stolen
<CrazyClimber> the cops can just make the siren noise themselves, save some money
<tieboy> "We lost him, sir. He ascended a small stairwell."
<agent_orange> "meep. meep. whoo. nert. nert."
<spinn> 'cos you gotta dump it and run after someone at some point, like over a fence or something
<tieboy> "I'm taking you downtown. Now, you... walk... beside me while I scoot."
<agent_orange> "pull over. nert. I know your dad. meep. meep."
<Freyja> have a caged sidecar, for perps
<agent_orange> I was wondering that
<spinn> guess the redesigned cities will have automated travelling cages like the ones circuses put lions in
<Freyja> put him on a leash and make him trot behind
<tieboy> o/ Keep your eeeey-yyeeeee on the scooter o/
<spinn> I can appreciate the marketing move of putting one on frasier
<agent_orange> can't wait for the "Bullit" remake
<spinn> but whose dumb idea was it to give it to niles
<agent_orange> car chase now lasts seven hours
<TMR> Cages, or maybe big plastic rolly balls
<tieboy> The only cop not too old for this shit is about 12
<Freyja> will they get to wear shorts, like bike cops?
<agent_orange> what will become of the loose cannon cop who plays by his own rules?
<agent_orange> Frey: pinafores
<spinn> frey: and suspenders. possibly lederhosen.
<Freyja> "kick me" signs
<agent_orange> with a big fuckin' feather sticking up from the helmet
<spinn> agto: he takes his segway to a rogue, shady mechanic who soups it up for him so it can go 21
<agent_orange> that bends at a 90 degree angle at full throttle
<agent_orange> the muscle segway?
<Freyja> with a big old wing on the back. Aerodynamic!
<tieboy> the deep, throaty whirr
<spinn> burns an entire nine volt battery in .4 seconds
<agent_orange> little eagle painted on the front
<spinn> hey, let's remake ben hur with segways
<agent_orange> maybe the pod race from Ep. 1
<agent_orange> dragging radio flyers with extra batteries behind them
<tieboy> o/ Go Greased Lightning you're scooting down the quarter mile (recharge it! time ta recharge it!) o/
<tieboy> o/ Go Greased Lightning you're lugging it up the goddamn steps (ow, my back! Fucking heavy scooter!) o/
<agent_orange> Coming this summer to the Segawy Cinema 6: Gone in 60 Minutes!
<Freyja> The Eco-Friendly and the Furious
<agent_orange> The Slow and the Miffed
<Samwise> Rebel without a Charge
<agent_orange> Heck on Wheels
<tieboy> Breaking Slowly Away
<TMR> Speed 3
<Samwise> OK, Imagine Old People Fucking, That's What Our Chase Scenes Feel Like
<agent_orange> "If you fall below 8 miles an hour, the battery will leak! What do you do?"
<Samwise> Scooterboyz
<tieboy> The Late Escape
<agent_orange> Very Easy Rider
<spinn> how long until the first "cool" race in a warehouse
<Samwise> Escape From New York Very Very Slowly
<spinn> like the hip kids doing cool things scene
<agent_orange> I wanna see the first kid try a half-pipe on one
<TMR> Gets halfway up, falls flat on back
<Samwise> Does John Hughes still make movies
<agent_orange> spine crushed by k-rad scooter
<tieboy> Days of Thunder Oh Shit It's Gonna Start Raining C'Mon You Piece of Shit Hurry
<tieboy> Road Worrier
<agent_orange> Minor Contusion Race 2000
<tieboy> Christine (remake)
<Samwise> Debbie Does 12, 14 With A Strong Tailwind
<tieboy> whrrrr *clump* ow! my foot! whrrr *clump* knock it off!
<spinn> walking down a darkened alley, and hear the threatening "hmmmm" of an electric motor
<agent_orange> Top Gun (remake)
<tieboy> o/ Iiiiiiiiiii can't drive..... fiiiiiiiiive o/
<Samwise> Born to be Mild
<CrazyClimber> Seven Samurai (On Segways)
<agent_orange> "Lean into it, Maverick! Lean in!" "I .. I ... I can't!" <peels away into starbucks>
<agent_orange> Sidewalk Warrior
<Samwise> "I don't like you because you're dangerous. Every time you step onto that scooter, you're taking lives into your hands."
<tieboy> My Mother (Won't Give Me) The Car
<agent_orange> Miffed Max Beyond Scooterdome
<Samwise> The Dukes of Hartford
<spinn> chase scene ends with the good guy swerving, and the bad guy hurtling towards the large storefront window, and he goes >bonk< into it and stumbles over
<tieboy> Lite Rider
<Samwise> Ligh - DAMMIT TIE
<spinn> We're Gonna Have Fun, Fun, Fun ('Til Daddy Makes Us Ride The Segway)
<Samwise> Cannonball Walk
<CrazyClimber> Brother on Another Segway
<agent_orange> Deadman's Curb
<spinn> It's A Briskly Paced, Briskly Paced, Briskly Paced, Briskly Paced World
<tieboy> Thelma And Louise
<Samwise> Oh, *that* would rock.
<tieboy> "Let's keep goin!" vrrrrrrrrmmmmmm
<Freyja> The first Segway gang: the D-Cells Angels.
<tieboy> The Indy 3 1/2
<spinn> you know people would only watch that for the...well hm
<Samwise> Guess we'd better get Connery.
<Samwise> An Uneasy Feeling and Annoyance in Los Angeles
<tieboy> Herbie the Love Bug Seems Cool Now, Huh?
<Samwise> Beverly Hills Cop 4
<agent_orange> Little Goof Coupe
<CrazyClimber> Almost Serious
<Samwise> (409... 409...) clean it up, clean it up, clean it with four oh niiiine...
<spinn> The Mighty Ducks Hit The Streets
<agent_orange> o/~ gramps like us / baby, we were born to hummmmm o/~
<Samwise> Life is a Sidewalk
<agent_orange> o/~ highhhhwayyy to the / towing zone o/~
<spinn> actually, yeah, I can't wait for the first cop show like Pacific Blue where the segway saves the day
<tieboy> Pacific Scoot
<agent_orange> "That legless, asthmatic four-hundred pound perp is getting way! What can we do!" "I'll handle this!" "Tom! No!"
<Samwise> DOrKs
<tieboy> Rescoot 9-1-1
<agent_orange> Adam-12mph
<Freyja> Knight Rider 2003. David Hasselhoff on a badass Segway named K.I.T.T.3.N.
<tieboy> Car54, Where Are-- Oh, There You Are. Plugged Into the Wall.
<Samwise> Drag
<spinn> with Super Turbo Boost
<TMR> Tony Hawk's Pro Segway
<agent_orange> I wanna see the first helicopter video of a high-- er, low speed chase down the pacific coast hihghway
<agent_orange> look like a fuckin' pac man game
<Samwise> Oh! Hoho! Thereyouare,Speed,IwaslookingforyoutotellyouI'vemadesomenewfeaturesintheMark5!
<spinn> I think first it'd be a guy running alongside the perp with a camera with a newslady interviewing him
<agent_orange> some hero lumbering out from the sidewalk cafe, eating a sub ... tackles the perp off the segway, still eating his sandwich
<Samwise> Can it star Lore?
<agent_orange> Swedeway?
<agent_orange> Sjogway?
<agent_orange> I don't see it
<Samwise> I was thinking lore would be the Segway Hunter
<tieboy> Riding On Segways With Dorky Boys
<Samwise> Cop specializing in tracking & apprehension of criminals on segways
<agent_orange> make him blind and I'll give you thirteen episodes
<CrazyClimber> yeah, fox is gonna have to find a way to get cameras on these things
<Samwise> They'll speed up the footage so much, you'll see shadows move.
<tieboy> TimelapseCop
<agent_orange> Financial District Strike Squad
<tieboy> o/ Life in the Bike Laaaaaaane o/
<Samwise> Bad boys bad boys / whatchoo gonna do .... *whirrrrrrr*
<agent_orange> Hawaii 1.5
<Samwise> Miami Nice
<tieboy> Hill Street Blues
<Samwise> with Tubs and Fatass
<mdxiLunxh> T.J Scooter
<mdxiLunxh> Bikelock
<tieboy> Serpican't
<agent_orange> AD/DC Blue
<agent_orange> Dragass
<tieboy> The French Extension Cord Connection
<Samwise> Remington Aluminume
<CrazyClimber> McMillan & Segway
<tieboy> o/ Get outta my dreams.... stand next to my Segway... (nert nert, yeah!) o/
<spinn> oh, other milestone to look for: first major pundit praising the segway for reducing our dependence on foreign oil
<mdxiLunxh> Jake and the Fat Man Fart Around on Ghey Little Scooters
<Samwise> Simon & Segway
<mdxiLunxh> Segway and Mrs. King
<Samwise> Segway, She Rode
<tieboy> Faggney and Pacey
<Freyja> Dragging Miss Daisy
<spinn> now you're just going all segway-smurfy
<agent_orange> "Chief, that bastard beaned my partner with a raisin bagel! I'm goin' after him!" "Back off, Poindexter! I won't have any loose scooters on my squad!"
<Samwise> Homicide: Life on the Really Smooth Part of the Street
<tieboy> Wobble Knevil
<agent_orange> Jumps a snake while holding a zzippo
<Freyja> can you even catch some air on a Segway?
<Samwise> Heh. segway stunts. That's a kicker.
<agent_orange> hold your mouth open
<agent_orange> or lift your skirt, maybe
<agent_orange> XTREEEEEM SEGWAY
<spinn> "I can't go out with you, you live on the wrong side of the tracks." "what? we're not poor, my dad is--" "no, I mean, my segway can't get over the tracks."
<agent_orange> ***bruce springsteen says "fuck it" and goes home

Heather Garvey / Raven /
I want to submit a log!