"in the inn, they had soup. elphanor: But this soup is cream-based, AND it has tomatoes?!?!?"

SWHC



<Lore> "The flirty waitress and the male medusa in the module and web enhancement were combined into a waitress/ prostitute medusa. To make things run smoother."
<Lore> That's from someone's page which lists the changes they made to a D&D module.
<spinn> er. what?
<spinn> oh
<spinn> well that should, uh, streamline that
<Lore> "A toothless whore simply called the "Gummer" hung around Chatterstreet Market. She chased the members of the party down where ever they went."
<Lore> 'For comedy the guards would always show up after every battle saying,"What's all this then?"'
<spinn> whoo! comedy!
<tieboy> i'd never get tired of that
<Lore> As if a toothless whore named "Gummer" wasn't comedy enough.
<tieboy> a toothless whore that can turn you to stone
<Lore> No, that was a different whore.
<CrazyClimber> i've heard about that toothless thing.
<Lore> Two whores, one a Medusa, the other toothless.
<spinn> maybe they could have the barkeep say "nobody expects th spanish inquisition" every time guards run in and say "wht's all this then", which would then cause the spanish inquisition to run in and say "nobody expects the spanish inquisition"
<Lore> It's a new comedy on Fox.
<spinn> that should oil the gears nicely
<tieboy> Ni
<Lore> "A duo of two 7th level adventurers the paladin Goodrick of Good and the half-orc bard Ragzorll. Both would show up to annoy the party with awful singing and lectures about the right path to follow."
<tieboy> stop. my sides.
<Lore> I've found that paladins and bards in my gaming groups were already annoying enough without having to add extras.
<SeanQ-reading-scrollback> i found they made a hearty stew for wintertime adventures
<Samwise> I love a well-played paladin.
<spinn> "allow time for fending off head slaps and knocking back d8s thrown at the dm"
<Samwise> More annoying than *anything* I'd ever be able to throw at the party.
<Lore> Here's the guy who did this: http://members.aol.com/xxxcthulhu/images/genenkainen.jpg
<spinn> lemon curry?
<tieboy> now it all makes sense
<spinn> oh man, it's sean's brother
<SeanQ> what?
<CrazyClimber> actually, he looks uncomfortably like me, i thought.
<Lore> I should track down the worst homebrew D&D world I can find on the Web.
<Leth> that path will only lead to tears
<Samwise> And deciding on a "worst" will tax your soul.
<spinn> really. next: find the worst story schumin wrote in high school
<SeanQ> spinn: that would be a 128-way tie
<Lore> Hmm. I've only been searching for twelve seconds and I've got a contender already.
<Lore> http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/loth/d/o/dolan/mysst_detail1.jpg.html
<spinn> .jpg.html?
<Lore> .jpg.html.php.asp.mp3
<spinn> nice that he got his wings done up in paisley
<Lore> Warning: comments contain the phrase "TALL ELVES ROCK!!!"
<spinn> short, stumpy elves just cheese me off
<spinn> I want to push them in the mud
<SeanQ> i prefer cookie-making tree-livin' elves
<Elkman> "Rebecist"? Is that an allusion to Rebecalist?
<Lore> The character is named "Rebecist."
<Lore> The character is in a band.
<Leth> I'm pretty sure this was the page
<Lore> The band is called "Clan of Moons."
<raven> "Ew, this is one of the most disgusting pictures i have ever seen, take it down before i do" Heheheh
<spinn> portraying the atmosphere around the elven world
<spinn> uh, what, "white"?
<Lore> Man. This just sounds like the worst character to have to listen to someone describe. "An' he's an elf, right? But he's got WINGS! Because [insert long drawn-out bullshit background here]. Oh, and he's in a band, right? And he wears a KILT!"
<Lore> "I have created a few tunes for my D&D world in the past, and it would also be great to record and add them to the intro..possible?"
<tieboy> ack
<SeanQ> jeez, are preventative lobotomies still legal?
<zompist> where's this coming from?
<Lore> Zomp: Well, I happened across a page where someone was talking about how they enhanced a published module with things like a toothless whore named "Gummer."
<Lore> So then I decided I'd try and find the worst D&D campaign world on the net.
<Lore> So far I've found a picture of a kilt-wearing winged elf, and the above quote.
<zompist> kind of sounds like "the worst furry page ever"
<zompist> gotta be lots of competition
<Lore> Ohh, here's one. "The World of D'Hara: The Noct'turnal's Realm"
<spinn> HA HA HA HA HA
<Elkman> Noct'turnal's?
<Lore> Noct'turnal is what wombat'ts are, I assume.
<spinn> lore, here you go: go to altavista and do a search on +"D&D" +module +xanth
<Samwise> Not'tmydes'k
<zompist> i think that means you're supposed to say "nocturnal" and cough in the middle
<SeanQ> i think it's the Yiddish pronunciation.
<Elkman> I usually end up coughing whenever I find I'm about to laugh out loud at it, whether or not it's in the middle of a word.
<Lore> "D'Hara was in a Golden Age. Magnificent Cities doted the landscape, and everyone felt safe under the watchful eye of King Cypher and his ever vigilant army known as The Onyx Shield."
<zompist> that's gotta make for good gaming
<tieboy> I wish this guy I know had his sci-fi writing online
<Lore> Leaving aside "doted," what kind of a name is "King Cypher"?
<CrazyClimber> it must be in code
<zompist> "you go into the dungeon. it's empty. thank you, king cypher!"
<tieboy> his society is called "DarkFist"
<spinn> Belphanior 14th/14th/14th level elven fighter/wizard/thief
<tieboy> and there's something called "Stankast"
<spinn> well that's about as far as I can get with that
<Samwise> "And everyone ate lobster, even those who didn't like it. The horses all had 6 legs, which seemed odd, but everyone got used to it."
<spinn> Bosco: I'm ready to crack some safes!
<spinn> Belphanior: We have to find them first.
<spinn> Mongo: Won't be too hard, now that we have a good lead.
<spinn> Belphanior: We'll see...we'll see.
<spinn> Ys: (yawns, exposing his forked tongue for all the world to see)
<spinn> Zhao: (regards the big reptilian)
<spinn> Ys: What?
<spinn> oh, bravo, sir, bravo! a masterpiece of fiction!
<Lore> Spinn: What is this?
<spinn> came from the fanmail link you got from google there...lessee..
<spinn> http://www.peldor.com/chapters/index_recent.html
<zompist> "chapter 716"????
<zompist> that's enough to put me off d&d right there
<zompist> LOOK WHAT CAN BECOME OF YOU!
<Lore> "Dark-skinned female wizard"
<zompist> "mongo the dwarf"
<Lore> There are characters named "Bosco, Mongo and Gorgo."
<tieboy> it's funny because dwarves are small
<tieboy> while "mongo" implies great size
<CrazyClimber> is bosco a lion?
<spinn> as they travel, they meet Basco, Mango, and Gargo, presumably
<Leth> man, I can barely get through a third of that
<Lore> This is very strange. This is like "Waiting for Dungeon Master."
<zompist> jee-yuz
<zompist> this is horrible
<spinn> what the hell, no name for "captive serpent-man"? I am offended on behalf of captive serpent-men everywhere
<zompist> i can't read every word, my brain just clamps up
<Lore> Drak: (jerks a thumb at the still-bound serpent-man) What about him?
<Lore> Belphanior: We'll take him with us, as a guide.
<Lore> Parekh: I don't want to keep wasting magic power on the spell needed
<Lore> to communicate with that scaly moron.
<Lore> Belphanior: Don't worry about it. If we really need to talk to him,
<Lore> we can; until then, we'll just make him come along.
<Lore> Neera: (makes a face) Do we have to?
<Lore> serpent-man: (gnawing at a tree)
<Lore> Gorgo: What the hell?
<Lore> Bosco: (looks confused) I figured him for a meat-eater.
<Lore> Gorgo: Maybe he's trying to trick us.
<Lore> Otto: Maybe, but just the same, he's got teeth.
<Lore> Neera: I hear it will make you ejaculate.
<raven> So would I if I was stuck in that.
<Lore> Otto: No, let's wait. He will be here soon.
<raven> He's coming.
<zompist> Otto: Have you tried my dance?
<zompist> Otto: It's irresistible!
<spinn> oh goddamn
<zompist> "As much fun as this might be, I promise you that NEXT episode will be even more fun."
<Lore> Parekh: He doesn't like this place...it's cursed, as we discussed
<spinn> lore, you're making up the "Neera: I hear it will make you ejaculate." part
<Lore> previously.
<Lore> Belphanior: Whatever.
<zompist> that's schumineque for sure
<tieboy> ack! I found a "methinks"
<Lore> Spinn: Yes. It's a reference to "Waiting for Godot."
<zompist> tie: yeah, it coexists well with dialogue like "Whatever."
<Lore> God damn it, I can't figure out what a "noct'turnal" is.
<tieboy> It lives in the dark dungeon of cr'ap
<Lore> "New Horrible creatures where stalking the lands, creatures known as Noct'turnals. The Noct'turnals plagued both the goodly races and evil races.
<Lore> ...Over 90% of the population of the world was wiped out"
<zompist> cr'r'rap
<zompist> get it right
<zompist> shouldn't that be "evilly races"?
<Lore> "While the Evil Races have returned to the main land, and ravenous Noct'turnals roam the realm, Hope is returning, as is the quality of life..."
<spinn> Hope
<Lore> But then the rents go up.
<Elkman> There's 716 chapters of this stuff?!? Yeesh. The Yellow Pages are more concise!
<spinn> I think the fan mail has more in it than all the text on my site
<spinn> fan mail
* Elkman goes to Chapter 000 and reads the prequel
<spinn> Chapter 000: Last Thursday
<Lore> Ooh! There's an April Fool's special!
<tieboy> methinks he has never touched a woman
<tieboy> yeah, it's in BASEBALL format!
<spinn> Brak'a'dar Says "Whatever"; Lizard-Men Growl At Trees
<zompist> "wispy thing: (hovers near Victoria's head) Pfsss?"
<Lore> Hahaha...
<tieboy> the combat is thrilling
<tieboy> Belphanior: (scores a minor cut on ruffian#3) Tell us who sent
<tieboy> you and we might let you live!
<tieboy> Ruffian#3: Never, dolt! (hits Belphanior) Surrender or die,
<tieboy> that's what you can do!
<tieboy> Belphanior: Ouch! Fuck!
<zompist> "Bizarre. This room seems to be a mix of natural cave formations and... man-made architecture?!?"
<Lore> They made Sir Drexel a catcher? The boy's a born shortstop!
<zompist> HOW CAN THAT BE?
<tieboy> What sort of topsy-turvy world is this?
<spinn> heh. looking up at cave and architecture, in slow motion: "mmmmmnnnnnnooooooooooooooo"
<raven> Belphanior: (parries the blow, lightning-fast, and delivers a
<raven> swift kick to the other's crotch)
<raven> thug#2: Urk...(he crumples) You...
<raven> Belphanior: So sorry about that...
<Lore> I like the amazingly clever and engaging name they came up with for this series of tales.
<tieboy> Cassius: Who will be the carrier of this cargo?
<tieboy> Peldor: I'll take it!
<tieboy> Halbarad, Ged, Mongo, Peyote: NO!
<tieboy> I wouldn't trust Peldor, either! ha ha!
<tieboy> he's always up to something, that Peldor. man, what a scamp.
<spinn> "in the inn, they had soup. elphanor: But this soup is cream-based, AND it has tomatoes?!?!?"
<Lore> Rob: That's what the history books tell us. Tuerny was a wizard, whose
<Lore> particular area of expertise was the summoning and holding of beings.
<Lore> Peyote: Far out...
<Lore> Rob: Anyhow, his best-known creation is perhaps the Iron Flask, not to
<Lore> mention its many lesser imitations...but he also fashioned the Cask,
<Lore> which had similar powers.
<Elkman> Geez. I think these people look at D&D as a full-time occupation.
<tieboy> It's a D&D informercial
<Lore> I wish my area of expertise was the summoning and holding of things.
* SeanQ 's brain hurts
<zompist> ooh, he's learned how to generate SUSPENSE
<spinn> elphanor: (craws to corner of inn, looking back at bowl of soup, gibbering half-formed prayers to several gods)
<tieboy> "This wand cast a Detect Magic spell AND firms and tightens my buttocks?"
<zompist> "This little adventure seems to have generated more questions than it answered... but it's far from settled. Far indeed."
<Elkman> I read one character's "Class & Racial Abilities" and thought it said "Rectal Abilities".
<hockeyboi> lucky you tie! ;-)
<spinn> "Come here! Okay, gotcha.
<Lore> Daffodil: But how do we get to the bottom of something this vague?
<zompist> soup and gibbering? is this back to j's mpeg?
<spinn> um, wait...d&d...d&d...d&d...buttocks! there ya go
<Lore> Epic IV?
<CrazyClimber> well, if there's /any/ context in which someone's ass is going to have powers...
<zompist> "Tanya: Er... Bosco's ferrets stole Vinnie's wallet."
<Lore> Jeez, Homer only had time to write two.
<Elkman> Oh, geez, there's pr0n here too.
<Elkman> Peldor: Get the middle of my back, if you would...
<Elkman> Bubbles: (grabs the brush) Tee hee.
<Elkman> Barbie: (smiling) Got an itch there, do you?
<Elkman> Peldor: That's not the only place.
<Elkman> (hack urg gag)
<Lore> Barbie?
<zompist> bubbles?
<spinn> (grabs the brush) Tee hee.
<tiewerk> thaaaaaaaatt's Peldor!
<spinn> (returns smile) Chuckle gahort.
<Lore> Peldor: I also have an itch on my penis.
<spinn> Bubbles: My name is Bubbles.
<Lore> Peldor: And it's been getting worse.
<spinn> Peldor: SHIT! Stop scratching!
<SoiledGreen> Peldor: see a doctor.
<raven> Peldor: NOT THE NAILS!
<Lore> Peldor: I don't think the cream the doctor gave me is working.
<spinn> Peldor: Damnit, can't you tell finely-crafted innuendo?
<Elkman> Actually, here's how it really continues:
<Elkman> Bubbles: You needed a bath, that's for sure. Did you go roll
<Elkman> around in the mud, or what?
<Elkman> Peldor: Never. A Peldor doesn't do those things.
<Elkman> Barbie: And why not?
<Elkman> Peldor: Because he's busy doing _these_ things.
<Elkman> Barbie: (squeaks in surprise) Aie!
<zompist> "The adventureres continued to talk for hours, formulating the next stages o their mad, yet noble scheme."
<Samwise> Peldor: And I think there's a fire spell on my penis when I urinate!
<Elkman> Later, as the ladies were asleep (no doubt worn out by his newly-discovered prowess)
<zompist> mad, yet noble scheme theirs
<spinn> I think that adventure would be greatly improved by people sitting around int he sun, not doing much
<Elkman> (rest of it omitted)
* Lore squeaks in surprise.
<spinn> hehehe
<Lore> Aie!
<zompist> i think it'd be improved by inserting an ice pick through the nose and rotating
<spinn> Totally Batshit Insane King Wenseslaus
<spinn> the mad, yet noble king
<Lore> Lord Marcus: (to Noggin) I am hearing favorable reports about your
<Lore> companies, especially Mongo Thunderhead in particular.
<Lore> I'm thinking they make microbrew.
<zompist> he has a faq
<Elkman> This whole thing just screams of horny teenagers stuck in a basement for six or eight hours at a time.
<spinn> "I knight thee Sir Gorblecromby Knight of All Undies Sprocket." "Thank you, Totally Batshit Insane King Wenseslaus."
<zompist> OH. MY. GOD.
<Lore> Ooh, where?
<Samwise> "teehee, my character's getting laid!"
<zompist> http://www.peldor.com/misc/faq.html
<Lore> "Uh. Then I do whatever you're supposed to do. Should I roll?"
<zompist> they played for two years, from 1989 to 1991.
<zompist> AND HE'S BEEN WRITING THEM UP EVER SINCE
<spinn> oh well that's the problem. 10 years of extrapolation
<spinn> probably off the track of the pure and accurate plot at this point
<Lore> "For the record, significant quantities of food and drink were consumed during most of these gaming sessions."
<Lore> Good thing he put that in there.
<Elkman> "I FUCKING WIN!!!"
<Lore> I do wonder if anyone went to the bathroom, though.
<Lore> I thought it was "I win, you motherfuckers."
<Samwise> Gee, you mean some gamers eat while they play?
<zompist> oh, this is even more depressing.
<zompist> a list of TSR modules they played.
<zompist> most of them are made-up sessions in someone else's module.
<zompist> YEEEKS
<Lore> Wait.
<Lore> He's making this UP?
<Lore> Jesus fuck.
<Elkman> Everything after #125, yeah.
<Lore> So that bit with "Pelors don't do that" was just off the top of his head?
<Lore> Peldors, whatever.
<Lore> "It began to detail the later periods in the adventurers' lives (marriage, families, kingdoms, possible godhood, etc.)"
<Lore> Man, the responsibilites of marriage, family and worshippers.
<zompist> there is no need, ever again, to have a "most geeky" competition.
<Elkman> "How exactly are the names of the characters pronounced? PEL-dor."
<Elkman> And here I was thinking it was "pel-DOR."
<Lore> "Did you glamorize the actions and behavior of the players in your writeups?" "Yup. It's extremely hard not to."
<Lore> It DID seem too glamorous to be true.
<Samwise> "FRONK uhn shteen"
<spinn> really
<Lore> OTT-o
<spinn> I wonder how dull they were actually
<spinn> Peldor: Whatever.
<spinn> no, wait, that happens.
<spinn> Peldor: Unh.
<Lore> "Why did Bosco have two lines in the part of episode #197 where he was supposed to be aboard the _Victory_ while the bulk of the party explored the ruined ships?"
<spinn> Bubbles: (checks nails)
<zompist> yeah, fucker!
<zompist> WHY?
<Lore> I'm betting that's not a frequently asked question.
<spinn> Peldor: Have a pen?
<spinn> Bubbles: What?
<spinn> HIIIIIGHWAY TOOOOOO THE DANGER ZOOOOONE
<spinn> bahahahha.
<Lore> Bosco: I like rice.
<spinn> sorry, sorry, sorry. that still entertains me
<Lore> "Was Ged's fire wand supposed to be a Baklunish or a Sueloise artifact?"
<Lore> What are you talking about, Spinn?
<spinn> geez, which part?
<Lore> The Top Gun song.
<Lore> I was with you up till there.
<spinn> oh, heh. ref to the log where we were busting on Dodge and the air force
<Lore> Ah, okay.
<spinn> had to apologize because I knew it was a stretch
<spinn> basically I was trying to extract the original exitement and glamour before it was jazzed up by this guy
<spinn> figured the soundtrack needed a little punching up
<Samwise> Oh man. He talks about the mixing of potions as if the only outcome of a reaction would be that one or the other effect would become permanent.
<Samwise>
<Lore> "Do you think it's ethical/right/justified to continue making up stories after the ones that were actually played are over?"
<Lore> Yeah, that's what I was concerned about here. ETHICS.
* SeanQ is back, and his brain still hurts
<Lore> I was thinking "How could he? How DARE he?"
<Samwise> "Has anyone pointed out that you're a complete git?"
<SeanQ> this guy have a FAQ about the FAQ?
<Lore> "What's your story? Why do you write so much? What makes you tick?"
<zompist> "I'll never forget the April day back in 1983 when I borrowed a Conan novel from a friend; this marked the true beginning of my fantasy-reading days."
<zompist> CURSED BE THAT DAY!
<spinn> guess it was that extra hit of lsd that started his fantasy-writing days
<CrazyClimber> he doesn't say which april day?
<Lore> "If I could nix everything I've done since high school and just start over at age 18, I'd apply for the Navy SEAL program."
<Lore> ...and not be accepted.
<spinn> but given that the muse has had him these 12 years
<CrazyClimber> i bet he can balance the ball on the end of his nose, though.
<jacquilyn> Who are we currently mocking?
<spinn> ...toothless muse named Gummer, I guess.
<zompist> http://www.peldor.com/
<spinn> lore's funnier when you hear the voice.
<Lore> I can just see this guy writing up the adventures his friends WOULD be having if they were still playing with him, and thinking "I should have been a Navy SEAL" overa nd over.
<zompist> guy who's written 716 episodes of his d&d game
<spinn> no, that's just when he's drunk
<spinn> "I coulda beena SEAL yknow, instedda alla this D&D fancy schmancy CRAP"
<Lore> What voice? My voice?
<SoiledGreen> no, lore. the voices in your head.
<jacquilyn> In any of those episodes, does one player throw another player's stoned form at a bad guy?
<zompist> jac, to answer that someone would have to actually read them all
<zompist> this will not happen
<spinn> yeah, your voice. "how could he? how DARE he?"
<Lore> Well, I know I find myself funnier when the voices in my head are speaking.
<Lore> "Mention gnomes," they say. "Gnomes are funny."
<zompist> but they don't have a k in them.
<Lore> Knomes, then.
<zompist> ha ha!
<zompist> http://www.peldor.com/world/greyhawk_city.gif <-- check out the "WARVES"
<SoiledGreen> are the white gnomes KKKnomes?
<Lore> Aja: (rather than taunt the two, she remains silent, for she does
<Lore> not want to give away any scrap of information that might reveal
<Lore> Belphanior's power, or ability to perhaps survive the fireball
<Lore> that Anak has in store)
<Lore> Captain Redjack: Mighty silent, you are.
<Lore> Aja: I have nothing to say.
<jacquilyn> You can't mock this guy until you've read all his stories.
<spinn> bahahah
<jacquilyn> That wouldn't be fair.
<spinn> c'mon, lore, you just wrote that up, too
<zompist> jac: yeah, right.
<Lore> Nope. That's one hundred percent pure farm-grown Peldor.
<spinn> I am MIGHTILY SILENT!!
<spinn> so he's remembering wistfully back to the time when she was mightily silent
<zompist> Bugs: Do you want to kill him now, or wait till you get home?
<Elkman> There's a Low Market and a High Market. Why not a Dominick's or a Cub Foods?
<SeanQ> snkkkt
<Lore> Captain Redjack: (calms down, and points a shaking finger at the
<Lore> priestess) Mark my words, woman: you will soon pay for your
<Lore> insolence.
<Lore> Aja: (ignores him, spitting blood from her cut lip)
<Lore> Anak: (examining the walls around them) Hmm, odd.
<spinn> why would you show at the highmarket anyway? there's the low market right there
<zompist> bob: i'm jsut appalled at all this effort spent on someone else's stories and worlds.
<Lore> Yeah, it's like "What a character I made up who was on the Enterprise did durning 'Wrath of Kahn.'"
<Lore> Songa: Right: there are gigantic, aggressive, hungry beasts about.
<Lore> Arnold: Aaa.
<Lore> Tanya: (frowning) I wonder where they are.
<Lore> Peldor: Who cares, as long as they're not here.
<Lore> wispy thing: (grins) Yrrrp.
<ugh> sorry phone call, but, no, he has them in chronological order handwritten on scrolls to recreate the adventures as they would have been written by a monk.
<ugh> maybe bound in a large leather book.
<Lore> Arnold: Aaa. The atmosphere.
<Elkman> Er, on second thought, I think I'll pretend to do some work instead.
<zompist> not to mention the continuing drama of The Wispy Thing
<Lore> Yeah, really. What is that? A hat?
<jacquilyn> I played D&D (sort of) at the get together.
<spinn> shit, I can't read that faq, it's full of spoilers
<jacquilyn> Does that mean I'm going to turn into an obsessed, boring, dreadful writer of bad adventure tales?
<spinn> it might screw up chapter 381 for me
<maime-o-k> Jac, yes
<zompist> well, hell, jac, you're also canadian, are you going to turn into kemlo?
<spinn> "further reunions are relatively unlikely"
<spinn> uh, yeah, wonder why.
<spinn> "okay, now Aja turns to the left, and--" "no, no, NO! Aja would never do that!"
<maime-o-k> I've seen encyclopedias with fewer words than ben schumin.
<Elkman> Ben Schumin can only hope to be as prolific as this guy.
<ReallySickQ> I've seen encyclopedias that weigh more than schumin, but not many
<zompist> and as monomanical
<spinn> yeah, schumin writes too damn /slow/ for this guy.
<ReallySickQ> just read the first paragraph of each sentace
<spinn> when this guy looks at schumin, he just sees a slow-moving blob of oh wait a minute.
<ReallySickQ> Gelatenous Schumin
<ReallySickQ> Special Attack: Bore to death
<spinn> "you're walking down the corridor, and you accidentally enter a gelatinous Schumin"
<ReallySickQ> "you are assaulted by lines and lines of text"
<SeanQ> hehehe... "He begins talking to you about his last trip to the keep.. you feel the life being drained out of your soul."
<spinn> "'I slithered to the north for quite some time,' he says, 'and the keep was very far, but I continued on.' Roll a saving throw vs petrification."
<ReallySickQ> If you kill a gelatenous schumin, do you find a scooter as a treasure?
<Photon> how do you damage a gelatinous schumin?
<zompist> you can't
<zompist> blows just bounce off
<zompist> outright mockery fails
<spinn> I think you need to get it on a scooter
<ReallySickQ> That is it's weakness
<SoiledGreen> nah. give him LSD and a scooter.
<spinn> or push it in the mud
<spinn> that doesn't damage it. I just really want to push it in the mud.
<ReallySickQ> or get a real woman in proximity of him until he gets flustered and dies
<zompist> oh, he's been in proximity to women
<ReallySickQ> "g..g...g...g...girl!"
<Elkman> Or point a webcam at it in an intimate moment.
<spinn> "I'm one of the nicest creatures who / Slithers northward in corridors"
<zompist> that's more dangerous to onlookers, elk.
<ReallySickQ> yea, remember that bag with medusa's head in clash of the titans...
<ReallySickQ> seeing a web image of schumin in an intamate moment is like that
* ReallySickQ coughs
<zompist> your only chance of avoiding permanent insanity is the precise placement of the kleenex
<Elkman> You could feed a Kemlo to the cube.
<Elkman> I'm not so sure. He could end up like Peldor in the prequel.
* zompist is a little disturbed that elk read enough of the things to *know* what happened to peldor in the prequel.
<Elkman> Nah, I skipped around in the prequel to find the juicy parts.
<zompist> there are juicy parts?
* Leth is a little disturbed that Elk found 'juicy parts'
<Elkman> Yeah. I pasted it earlier. Wanna see it again?
<spinn> NO
<Leth> oh, don't go to any trouble
<zompist> "Belpharion: Lo and whoa, but these parts are juicy."
<zompist> "Victoria: Whatever."
<zompist> "Wispy thing: Fmmmmp.
<zompist> "Mombo: How can this be?"
<spinn> yeah, that was enough jerk material to keep me going for NEVER
<zompist> heh. ok, that would be geekier than writing peldor: *jerking off* to peldor.
<CrazyClimber> well, we don't know if he might've done both.
<zompist> and i hope we never find out
<spinn> uh
<spinn> spinn: (looks up guiltily) well, you know, there was pledar, and there was bubbles, and one thing led to another.
<spinn> debb: whatever.
<spinn> peldar. fucking fingers!
<zompist> wispy thing: squirrrrrt
<Leth> Belpharion: Forsooth! Mine armor! Twill rust!
<zompist> we had that consarned twill rust on the south forty back in '53
<Elkman> http://www.peldor.com/world/greyhawk_area.jpg -- don't tell DML about the Orc Territories.
<zompist> ooh, that's a gnarly forest
<Photon> radical
<zompist> man, fantasy names tend to be so predictable.
<spinn> damn, what should we name these cairns? dunno, grok, but we're behind schedule, think of something
<zompist> basic rule is "sound germanic and/or celtic, and don't put any non-english sounds except kh"
<Elkman> Yeah. That's why I choose character names based on ASCII character
<spinn> one ford, two ford. red ford, green ford.
<Elkman> When I played Wizardry, I had names like NAK, BELL, NULL, and so on.
<spinn> man, the orcs have surveyors with highly sophisticated laser equipment
<spinn> orc are ugly sumbitches, but there's nothing you can say bad aobut their cartographers
<spinn> hey, there's the selintan
<spinn> I think...yeah, he's waving! say hi
<Elkman> If someone's going from Greyhawk City to Ford Keep, would that be a Ford Expedition?
<spinn> huh. the gnarley foresy, the wolly bay, the mistmarch, the bright desert...and the Nyr Dyv
<CrazyClimber> is he pining for the fords?
<spinn> he must've just had an english class that day
<zompist> well, that's our celticish element
<zompist> "tricaster", however, seems to venture into star trek territory.


Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
I want to submit a log!