<Spoing> YEARP YUYEARP YEEARP! <family slowly advances on the trap>
<CrazyClimber> oh, speaking of which, you folks heard about smucker's patenting the PB&J sandwich?
<Lore> I thought it had come up on Slashdot a while back, and it turned out they were actually patenting a method of creating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
<CrazyClimber> well, yeah, the patent relates primarily to the mechanization of production.
<CrazyClimber> however, one of the claims is the crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwich. the ninth, if i recall.
* tieboy patents the digestion process
* agent_orange rushes to patent crusts
* antihero patents the patenting process
<CrazyClimber> yes, you're the crusty one here!
<zompist> well hell, this is for CRIMPED sandwiches
<zompist> so there!
<Down10> I should patent the idea of cutting the sandwich into triangles, and charging a royalty fee to those to do so
<tieboy> i just can't believe people are buying pbj sammiches
<tieboy> even I don't do that
<zompist> especially crimped ones
<zompist> that way you can't tell if it's REALLY pb
<agent_orange> I see frozen toast in the grocery
<agent_orange> forzen TOAST
<agent_orange> er, frozen
<agent_orange> you can see how upset it makes me
<DnaError> You can't expect people to master the complicated toast process
<DnaError> or the time-wasting toasting process
<zompist> could be any damn thing oozed out by something or someone at smucker's
<agent_orange> might be "spread"
* tieboy starts selling hot bottled water
<agent_orange> Skippy Peanut(+/-) "spread"
<zompist> the center filling may or may not be jelly
<agent_orange> the product is now a verb
<tieboy> "This Ain't Your Dad's Hot Water!"
<CrazyClimber> oh, actually, the patent also defines how the peanut butter and jelly are put on.
<agent_orange> reflecting its ever changing ingredient list
<CrazyClimber> so any sandwich that did it another way would be non-infringing.
<agent_orange> they use a bread knife
<Lore> I hear Eli Whitney patented COTTON!
<CrazyClimber> no, they have two outer layers of PB, and jelly in the middle.
<Kyol> Good, coz otherwise the jelly'd soak through the bread, which is kinda icky.
<tieboy> i like the term "at least jelly"
<mdxi> i've seen those sammiches in My Grocer's Freezer
<mdxi> they don't look particularly yummy. being frozen, and flat, and all
<agent_orange> what is that, physics?
<agent_orange> I think they ought to package them with a frozen plate, frozen napkin, and frozen glass of milk, too
<Down10> Ala Lunchables?
<agent_orange> then just throw the whole fuckin' thing away and buy more
<Down10> And I'm pretty sure the PB+J Lunchables still exists
<tieboy> i love lunchables
<Down10> Sure, it's like being on an airplane, but with more brand name food
<CrazyClimber> lunchables are upscale ramen
<agent_orange> as the owner of a child, I can see the attraction of lunchable and the like
<zompist> is your kid old enough for solid food?
<agent_orange> although I have a slight aversion to serving my child shrinkwrapped turds and brine-soaked pig offal
<agent_orange> zomp: he eats what we eat.
<agent_orange> so, zingers, mostly
<zompist> and bourbon?
<DnaError> Whatever happened to brine-soaked pig offal from a mother's oven?
<tieboy> whatever is foolish enough to wander up the "driveway"
<DnaError> Nothing says lovin like some feces from the oven.
<agent_orange> <Spoing> YEARP YUYEARP YEEARP!
<agent_orange> <family slowly advances on the trap>
<DnaError> mailman AGAIN?
<agent_orange> well, considering what we live next door to, there's no short supply of frogs and mud cat
<zompist> the legislature?
<zompist> man, if you ever come up for a gtg, we'll have to rent "frogs"
<zompist> it'd be valuable to have the opinion of a man who's actually lived through it
<agent_orange> http://homepage.mac.com/gregp1134 -- last picture. The rest of the neighborhood is pretty nice, but there's one stinkin' trailer on at the end, right niext to the woods.
<DnaError> But you make it a stinkin' home.
<tieboy> heh heh. "BARK."
<zompist> GAH! who's this butt-ugly bald redneck manhandling your child?
<agent_orange> that's Cooter.
<agent_orange> he helps out back to th' shop.
<DnaError> In the very last pic...your kid looks like hes summoning spirts there
<zompist> how long have you lived in louisiana? do you have an accent now?
<agent_orange> zomp: came in 1990, left in 93, back in 95.
<agent_orange> mais no, I don't go no accent
* tieboy starts the "Get Agt's Kid Some Pants" Fund
<agent_orange> tie: it's no use
<Kyol> Those eyes'll fetch a HIGH PRICE in Saudi Arabia.
<zompist> middle pic, 4th row: kids enjoy helping out at the cross-burnings
<agent_orange> he can already say "nigger," sort of
<DnaError> The Littlist Aryan
<tieboy> I like your swimming pool
<tieboy> no diving, I'm guessing
<Kyol> tie: Don't lie. You like the roof over their heads more.
<agent_orange> that's the bidet, you chaod-smoking catamite
<tieboy> bah ha. love the very last picture
<DnaError> Yes..the kid looks like he's about to send you into the cornfeild.
<tieboy> looks like he's about to go off on a non-compliant 'tard. jess lahk daddy
<agent_orange> "Wilder was born without arms and with enormous flipper feet. 'I consder it a blessing,' he moans."
<Kyol> Oh. And damn you for giving him a name that is also a color.
<Kyol> Drove me fucking nuts in school.
<Lore> Kyol is a color?
<zompist> no, 'wilder'
<agent_orange> Well, we don't call him Grey
<Kyol> It's like. Like. "Let's name the kid Taupe!"
<Kyol> the _fuck_?
<zompist> huh, so's going to call himself "g. wilder peters"
<DnaError> sounds like the character in a soap opera
<tieboy> are you raising him with religion?
<agent_orange> tieboy: fuck no. What, you stupid?
<tieboy> you could tell him the miracle of how the cartoonist only one had piece of clipart, and it lasted for eight panels
<tieboy> that's the only reason i asked
<Down10> Our governor is named Gray. What's up with that? Are your parents *trying* to think of a dull name?
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