Couples Parents Putting On A Brave Face And Pretending You're a "Gift From God" For The Next 37 Years

SWHC



<tieboy> you know, i'm sure there's more too it than it looks, but i swear, if you gave me a week, i could be an olympic ski-jumper
<mdxi> tieboy: the hard part is the "not dying" bit
<raven> mdxi : But you could snap your leg and become the new "agony of defeat" guy.
<spinn> yeah, I suppose by the time you get to that level and distance, you've weeded out all the poeple who don't make it look easy
<spinn> seems like it would mostly be about going through enough leg work to be able to hold your skis in the right position
<tieboy> i guess they have some combo event which has jumping plus cross-country skiing
<spinn> nordic combined
<spinn> probably started as an argument between a ski jumper and a cross country skiier 60 years ago
<tieboy> you didn't have a lot of style in your jump, so we'll deduct a minute from your cross country time
<spinn> yeah, I should've watched that
<spinn> because really doesn't a 48 second lead seem like, okay you've won
<spinn> but I guess there really is a lot of variance in cross country skiing ability
<mdxi> raven: shusssshhhhhhhhFOOMP. . . . . . . .CRASH OW DEAR GOD SNAP DISLOCATE IMPACT COMPLEX FRACTURE TUMBLE TUMBLE TUMBLE CATCH FIRE
<MisterQ> heh, catch fire
<MisterQ> The new ski-jump + nitro carry 500
<spinn> actually "the nitro carry 500" is a pretty amusing enough sounding competition in itself
<raven> A lot of nervous, sweating people shuffling as fast as they can.
<spinn> yeah, but with a lot of screaming people right at the sidelines
<MisterQ> "Oh no.. the competitor from Kenya tripped.. Oh my! They'll be cleaning him up from the track for weeks!"
<MisterQ> "And now they're at the banana peel and loose marbles portion of the track"
<mdxi> it used to take a long time to judge, but now, thanks to IBM's laser volumetric system, the craters can be instantly measured
<wabewalkr> Good ol' Deep Blue.
<tieboy> it's interesting how much coverage the really horrible athletes get
<tieboy> like the swimmer who almost sank that last time
<wabewalkr> I think it's the influence of "The Weakest Link."
<wabewalkr> "Let's mock the losers!"
<tieboy> maybe i should join for taikwondo, get kicked in the head, hit the mat, and retire famous
<MisterQ> tie, or at least your severed head will
<MisterQ> There should be a new medal for worst athlete
<hiway> ... and it should be made of chocolate.
<wabewalkr> Isn't that reserved for the special olympics?
<mdxi> the 200M drool
<MisterQ> "No Billy! Bad Billy! Don't eat the medal. Sigh.. at least take off the wrapper"
<wabewalkr> Freeform twitch.
<hiway> no wrapper. just chocolate.
<hiway> And the recipient would sob as their medal slowly melted.
<mdxi> mixed doubles staring at the wall
<MisterQ> The wheelchair jump 200
<mdxi> 10m platform belly flop
<tieboy> cross-country getting lost and dying of frostbite
<spinn> damn
<spinn> I watched o brother where art thou yesterday, and I have that soggy bottom boys song stuck in my head
<raven> 'Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii am a maaaaaaaaann....'
<tieboy> Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii am a maaaaaaaa-aaaaan of constant sorroooooooooow
* mdxi yanks down his beard and waggles his eyebrows
<spinn> oh good, now it's on both sides of my skull
<raven> thanks for sharing, greg
<spinn> thankee
<wabewalkr> At least you saw something decent.
<mdxi> what were some good 80s/90s slow-dance songs?
* raven needs to get that DVD.
<MisterQ> the 500m rorschach test
<wabewalkr> We were screaming, "Die, die you stupid fucks!" throughout our movie.
<tieboy> lady in red?
<MisterQ> Wizard of Oz?
<wabewalkr> "Jeepers Creepers."
<wabewalkr> Worst thing is, they're attempting a sequel.
<tieboy> ahem: cross-country getting lost and dying of frostbite
<spinn> what?
<raven> they're Elking
*** {Freyja} has joined #spinnwebe
<tieboy> i did not receive props for my hilarious special olmpics event
<mdxi> tieboy: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH OH IT HURTS
<tieboy> thank you
<wabewalkr> It was so funny, I couldn't type.
<sol-D> I laughed for several minutes. I laughed BEFORE it was cool.
<tieboy> for frey's benefit, i'll repeat it
<tieboy> cross-country getting lost and dying of frostbite
<{Freyja}> that it?
<mdxi> downhil getting hit in the face with those poles with flags on them
<tieboy> Men's Freestyle Getting the Boots on the Right Feet
<tieboy> 400m Juicebox Relay
<mdxi> Women's 1500m Running Into the Rink Walls Over and Over
<tieboy> Women's Announcing Their Menstruation In A Loud Voice To Strangers
<spinn> Men's Big Friendly Hug
<Freyja> 200M Doggy Paddle
<raven> Women's Smile That Makes It All Worth It
<mdxi> Couples Parents Putting On A Brave Face And Pretending You're a "Gift From God" For The Next 37 Years
<tieboy> Men's Wrestling With Zippers
<wabewalkr> Telling People On Buses You're "Special" Freestyle.
<mdxi> Rhythmic Flailing Wildly And Making Tortured Animal Noises For No Reason (Exhibition)
*** maime has joined #spinnwebe
<maime> hola
<hiway> hey maime
<tieboy> Freestyle Helping Mommy Get Breakfast Ready By Sitting Quietly
<Freyja> Synchronized B-I-N-G-O Singalong
<mdxi> 100m Not Getting Jelly On Your Shirt Dash
<maime> what
<maime> is going on?
<hiway> special olympics events.
<spinn> or, hm, 100m Finding The Finish Line
<mdxi> 100m Wandering Off The Track And Being Abducted
<tieboy> i guess special olympics drug-testing has the opposite goal
<maime> did hock go?
<raven> Synchronized Avoiding Bad Touches
<spinn> damn
<maime> and me leaving my bloodhound gang cd at work.
<Leth> Putting On One's Own Bigboy Pants (Individual and team)
<maime> I don't think they could find a team for that.
<Drusilla> parents helping
<maime> but that may be the man hating bitch in me.
<Freyja> 100M Waterwing Crawl
<tieboy> Platelifting
<mdxi> Team Going To The Bathroom All In The Same Stall
<mdxi> (at least the local tards always did)
<maime> they did?
<maime> ewww
<Leth> 100m Dash To Pick Out The Bottle Of Juice From Among The Bleach Bottles
<mdxi> yeah. my 8th grade algebra class was across the hall
<spinn> Combined 15 Minute Staying Quiet During Movie
<maime> never going to happen
<tieboy> Curling into a Ball
<maime> my new fave line for that is "are you going to talk all the way through the movie or same some for the DVD?"
<mdxi> Biathlon (Combined Skiing down Bunny Slope and JARTS Competition)
<spinn> that's the point, see, it's a competition
<spinn> you win by going the longest
<maime> what's JARTS?
<Freyja> Feces Flinging
<maime> yummy scummy
<mdxi> Jarts is like horseshoes, only you use the huge plastic and metal darts (about 18" long)
<maime> um. okay, whatever.
<mdxi> their manufacture and sale in the US has been banned because children shouldn't be playing with heavy, pointed projectiles
<Leth> I hate it when that happens
<mdxi> thus the humor. or not.
<spinn> once I was crossing the street, but I misjudged the height of the curb at the other sidewalk, so I tripped
<spinn> but I wasn't able to swing my foot around to catch myself in time, so I wound up falling sideways
<spinn> but I wound up rolling into the fall rather than just falling flat on my face
<spinn> so I was happy that I apparently have the instinct to fall properly, without causing all sorts of damage on myself
<tieboy> Equestrian Waving At The Horsies
<maime> that's good spinn, remember last year when I ripped a calf muscled and got the benefit of crutches for six weeks.
<Leth> oh yeah, I remember that. Damn gorillas
<raven> It was the luggage that drove them to it, leth
<Leth> can't make excuses for them rave. They need to take responsibility for their actions
<MisterQ> lawn dart decathalon
*** DML has joined #spinnwebe
<MisterQ> the 1000M bumper car
<DML> 1 gig? Or 1 km?
<Leth> the 500m Individual Freest- OH, SHINY!
<Freyja> The Touret---FUCKSHITMOTHERCUKER!!!#$@!---
<spinn> or like, the 500m Straight Line Walk While Surrounded By Puppies
<mdxi> Men's Masturbating In Improper Places Relay
<MisterQ> heh
<MisterQ> relay
<spinn> ewww
<spinn> relay
<tieboy> and the heartwarming Getting the Ribbon Over Your Massive Swollen Head Medal Ceremonies
<spinn> clearly q and I have different reactions to a masturbation relay
<Leth> <Coach> No, no, no, no, you pass the *BATON*!"
<MisterQ> "I donna where you been, me lad, but I see you won first prize"
<MisterQ> spinn: clearly
<MisterQ> heh
* Leth makes a note to self reminding him to stay far away from Q
<MisterQ> sheesh
<Leth> at least during the racing season
<spinn> yeah, next pggtg if he says "hey, guys, I have an idea for game," walk briskly away
<tieboy> Settlers of... MY PANTS
<hiway> oh come on, settlers of catan's bad enough by itself.
<Leth> Strip Monopoly
<MisterQ> first of all.. it'll start off with 'hey, gals..'
<Leth> oh wait, already did that riff
<hiway> hah
<MisterQ> strip settlers?
<hiway> you sicken me.
<spinn> hm, that would be fun, but then I'd have to be forced to look at your naked bodies every time we played
<Leth> MY ROAD! <removes shirt>
<MisterQ> every time you use a combination of wood and sheep, you have to play truth or dare
<tieboy> Men's Freestyle Not Entering The Women's Freestyle Events
<MisterQ> the 500 meter fornication
<MisterQ> leuge
<MisterQ> however you spell 'fornication luege"
<spinn> yeah, the Doubles Not Getting Killed Luge, but I'm sure someone must've done that already
<tieboy> Unsynchonized Clapping
<tieboy> Unsynchronized
<MisterQ> The Drawing with your eyes closed/Marksmenship Biathalon
<raven> 400m Spelling the Events Properly
<Down10> Women's Naked Snow Angels
<sol-D> mmm... snow angels
<MisterQ> Down, thats the event where everyone wins!
<Freyja> Freestyle Epilepsia
<sol-D> hey, my MOMS epileptic. you take that BACK
<wabewalkr> "He's got a good grand mal there, but the judges are gonna knock off points for swallowing the tongue.
<Leth> Freestyle Sol's Mom Epilepsia
<Leth> (that better?)
<sol-D> er, wait, she isn't
<raven> She didn't make the team?
<hiway> I thought she was dead...
<sol-D> Yeah. she died in a tragic seizue accident.
<sol-D> but it was someone else
<sol-D> she was riding with him. he had one, swerved off the road...
<sol-D> *sob*
<Leth> who swallowed whose tongue?
<wabewalkr> One of these days you're gonna tell the truth, sol, and we won't believe you.
<sol-D> I know, I know. at least when I lie it's so damned obvious...
<spinn> thank you, people, for spelling "tongue" correctly three people in a row
<MisterQ> The 500M Chaw Relay... oh wait, that's the W. Virginia Olympics
<tieboy> 100m Breathing Through Your Nose For Five Goddamn Minutes Already
<sol-D> my MOM's a mouth breather.
<sol-D> er, no, I am.
* sol-D scowls
<hiway> Your mom is dead!
<sol-D> Oh, yeah!
<hiway> From a horrible breathing-through-the-mouth accident.
<sol-D> but I'm painfully alive
<sol-D> albeit legless
<wabewalkr> Mixed Pairs Not Understanding The Difference Between Boys and Girls.
<Down10> Yooooouuu ain't got no legs, but I love you just the saaaaame
<sol-D> boogie woogie amputee
<sol-D> hey, my MOM..er.. no, no.


Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
I want to submit a log!