Wonder if they have those in a jar at the office
<spinn> okay, I'm in violation of the Net Authority Acceptible Internet Usage Guidelines
<CrazyClimber> i knew that pic of the rug was pushing it.
<kaufman> which who what usage guidelines?
<spinn> kauf, yeah, that's what I said
<SoiledGreen> my god be with you, spinn.
<kaufman> don't tell me: net-authority.org is a porn site?
<ristoril> is that real?
<spinn> oh, that would be a good one
<CrazyClimber> geez, they can't be that worried about you if they're only praying for you in the 8 hours of nighttime we currently have
<Samwise> go to their site. Check the mouseover on the first picture.
<SoiledGreen> did you mail them back and tell them how funny the mail was, and how much you laughed?
<spinn> actualy I asked them if they had an icon I could put on my page
<spinn> huh, they get moving in a hurry, too. domain created 9 days ago
<Samwise> They better have sourcerunner on their blacklist.
<Samwise> s/better/will soon
<kaufman> you got a whoitis on them?
<spinn> oh wow.
<SoiledGreen> "SAVE the CHILDREN, spinn!"
<kaufman> check their contest
<ristoril> are those children flipping us off?
<spinn> if this is a hoax, it is an /excellent/ one
<spinn> damn, I'm jealous
<SoiledGreen> spinn: bwhahahaha!
<SoiledGreen> oh god i'm rolling in the floor here.
<SeanQ> think this is Rambo's Revenge?
<ristoril> Their basic effect is to simply organize and prioritize all that is blasphemous in the eyes of God.
<CrazyClimber> i'm reading the database page with john cleese's voice in my mind.
<SoiledGreen> Does the suspected offender sometimes stare at people of his or her same gender in a way which has caused you some suspicion?
<spinn> extreme religious view combined with vague white supremacy combined with "add you to a databse"
<CrazyClimber> "This is another particularly disgusting and immoral form of pornography."
<SoiledGreen> "quit looking at me, spinn!"
<spinn> three buttons pushed for the price of one
<SoiledGreen> i love how they call you an "offender"..
<CrazyClimber> We have waited patiently and in vain for the World's governments to put their resources together ..."
<CrazyClimber> i bet these are the kind of people who scream about the One World Goverment the rest of the time
<kaufman> well, the rambo email probably does count as an unusual relationship with someone 17 or under
<Samwise> "You sir-ah, are an offense-ah, to the living god-ah!"
<SoiledGreen> Have you ever successfully brought an offender to justice?
<SoiledGreen> We have aided law enforcement agencies in the tracking, capture, and conviction of Internet criminals on several occasions.
<SeanQ> I wana see a list of the offenders, preferably with links
<SoiledGreen> they are out to get you, greg.
<CrazyClimber> whoo! spinn's back to the big house!
* SoiledGreen reports CAP Alert.
<Samwise> "These databases are continually updated and maintained in preparation for when Net Authority gains the legal means to prosecute and punish these individuals." Yeah, right, as if there'll be a law against blasphemy. And as if any law like that would be retroactive.
<ristoril> Registered Child Pornography Offenders: 1000
<Samwise> Only 1000?
<ristoril> *exactly* 1000
<SoiledGreen> they were thinking of the CHILDREN!
<Samwise> Heck, I get that many sites popping up in new windows when I... uh... "check my mail".
<SoiledGreen> so that is not BAD!
<ristoril> The pornography list contains information on people who have either viewed, distributed, or been involved in any way with hate pornography on the internet.
<ristoril> what's 'hate pornography'?
<SoiledGreen> and when you find out what it is, let me know.
<ristoril> "oh! yeah! give it to me good! god I hate you! I hate your massive tool sliding in and out of me!
<kaufman> fundamentalist's hate pornography
<Samwise> "I hate you! Show me your tits!"
<CrazyClimber> the anti-Mahir
<spinn> General blasphemy is material that is considered evil when viewed through the Eyes of God.
<spinn> wonder if they have those in a jar at the office
<Samwise> Yeah, I like that presumed authority.
<Samwise> I'm hoping against hope that this is a hoax.
<SoiledGreen> "hey god! whatta 'bout this site? bad? okay!"
<Samwise> Oo, the child pr0n just went up to 1002
<kaufman> General drunkenness is material that is considered intoxicating when filtered through the liver of God
<spinn> "oh, uh...we'd have God's holy Eyes look at our site, but we don't uh, want to move the jar."
<Samwise> I wonder where they'll be storing all this information. I mean, an index of everything on the internet that could offend a fundamentalist? It'd be easier to keep a list of what wouldn't.
<kaufman> <Arthur> Would you like to join us on our quest for the Holy Eyes?
<kaufman> <French Guy> Sorry, but we've got one already
<ristoril> wow, they're busy
<spinn> you get pissed and tell God to do that over a trash can when walking barefoot over the old toenail clippings of God
<SoiledGreen> People often claim that they were added by their friends as a practical joke. Now, consider this scenario. A young man, let's call him Ray, notices that his friend, let's call her Jody, has been acting a little strange. She is much more aloof around family and friends, and she has been spending a lot more time at the computer. These are clear, tell-tale signs that Jody is exploring illegal pornography on the Internet. Out of fear for the safety of b
<spinn> so, bad news: SpinnWebe is considered evil when viewed through the eyes of God.
<SeanQ> that's the *bad* news?
<spinn> hey, I wonder if God pops off the back of his skull so you can use his head like a pair of binoculars
<Samwise> SG: I think most readers want to meet Jody.
<ristoril> man, their site is getting a lot oftraffic
<Samwise> Can you put your hand in and use his head like a puppet?
<ristoril> i bet they think it's all good
<CrazyClimber> spinn: i think he's more like plastic man, he can extend his eyes out of their sockets in any direction
* kaufman wonders if www.godcam.com is available
<SoiledGreen> i would not say i look at "illeagal" pr0n, just free pr0n.
<ristoril> if you aren't paying for it, it's stealing
* SoiledGreen trembles in ph33r.
<Samwise> Oh my... they have a separate section for interracial pr0n. That's just wrong.
<CrazyClimber> ristoril doesn't read the newsgroups
<kaufman> * Soiled green moves his king to QB3 and hi rook to K7
<spinn> report the most offenders and win a bible
<ristoril> you can't castle like that
<ristoril> so, who's going to report netauthority.org?
<kaufman> rist: tell that to Soiled
<kaufman> we all should
<Samwise> rist: several hundred people, I hope.
<kaufman> recursive bible
<spinn> you said they're getting a lot of traffic? how do you know?
<CrazyClimber> the way the numbers update in the database page when you refresh it
<Samwise> yeah, now 1010 child pr0n sites.
<spinn> oh I didn't even notice
<spinn> man this has to be a hoax then
<spinn> just make it steadily increase
<ristoril> that and i couldn't load the page
<spinn> tight code on this site, too.
<ristoril> but now our proxy server is down
<ristoril> so i'm guessing it was that
<Samwise> "Due to massive abuse, the forums will not be available. Let it be known that everyone who posted their filth on the message boards has been duely added to our databases."
<ristoril> i missed my chance
<Samwise> Yeah, hoax.
<Samwise> "We have aided law enforcement agencies in the tracking, capture, and conviction of Internet criminals on several occasions." They're *nine days* old.
<Kyol> Huh. I get nearly a month of vacation time next year.
<ristoril> we should report the FBI, CIA, and NSA
<spinn> yeah. cops just don't move that fast
<Kyol> 7 regularly scheduled holidays and 23 days off.
<ristoril> and the NYC PD
<Samwise> Crikey, Kyol.
<CrazyClimber> register.com has rudis' phone number in case anyone wants to call and ask if it's a hoax
<raven> So did they pick you in particular, hoping you'll "advertise" for them?
<Samwise> Bob: give.
<CrazyClimber> it doesn't seem to be related to netauthority.com or netauthority.net
<spinn> actually, I was curious what kind of voicemail he'll have on there.
<CrazyClimber> sam: if you really wanna call, you can find it pretty quickly. :)
<CrazyClimber> cybernetauthority.com is still available, register.com helpfully points out
<CrazyClimber> heh, along with "internetnetauthority.com"
<Samwise> the internet's internet netauthority
<spinn> hm, no answer
<CrazyClimber> i love the FAQ page
* CrazyClimber helpfully points out to sam that the register.com page that gives you his phone number also provides his address
<spinn> alberta, presumably
<Samwise> Yeah, that's the correct area code.
<CrazyClimber> so it should be .org.ca
<SoiledGreen> it's those wacky canadians.
<ristoril> damn canadians
<Samwise> Hey, a new address to sign up for pr0n catalogs.
<Samwise> Maybe he'd like a subscription to "Swank"
<CrazyClimber> "Net Authority does not accept donations any more."
<CrazyClimber> wonder how much they raked in in that week
<PyroP> I know someone who got e-mail from netauthority for having pr0n on her site.
<ristoril> start with victoria's secret catalogues
<CrazyClimber> pyro: URL?
<PyroP> Uh...just a min
* CrazyClimber writes it down for later use
<CrazyClimber> i mean, i need to confirm my suspicious before i turn the site in
<PyroP> The message is at http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=5511796
<SoiledGreen> that's it.
<SoiledGreen> i'm making a bumpersticker that says "save the children: remove you genitals."
<ristoril> tyhe've been 'issuing reports' since march
<ristoril> Internet offenders are surprisingly easy to identify. The simplest way is to look at their website, or the contents of their computer.
<Kyol> They'd shudder at mine.
<ristoril> yes, that's right, trespassing is the best way to root out offenders
<CrazyClimber> the contents of my computer involve mostly a cpu, a motherboard, some cables, and dust.
<ristoril> LOTS of dust
<hockeyfag> I think they'd stop looking at others systems if they hit mine early in the hunt