"It's a long way to hell, Jimmy Ray, and they might not have food on that hellbound train, so you should at least bring an apple."


<agent_orange> here's some ideas: http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/finalmeals.htm
<agent_orange> four pieces of fried chicken and two cokes
<agent_orange> shit
<agent_orange> "Elwood!"
<raven> "Chicken wings or chicken legs?"
<Leth> if I see Dry White Toast...
<raven> "No, four whole fried chickens. And a Coke."
<Drusilla> i'd ask for wing of dodo. and wait.
<Leth> Two 16 oz. ribeyes, one lb. turkey breast (sliced thin), twelve strips of bacon, two large hamburgers with mayo, onion, and lettuce, two large baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, cheese, and chives, four slices of cheese or one-half pound of grated cheddar cheese, chef salad with blue cheese dressing, two ears of corn on the cob, one pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and four vanilla Cokes or Mr. Pibb
<Leth> what, no room for pie?
<agent_orange> that's unhealthy!
<MisterQ> that'll kill ya quick
<Leth> I hope it wasn't the electric chair
<agent_orange> note that "* The final meal requested may not reflect the actual final meal served.
<mdxi> "Chocolate birthday cake with "2/23/90" written on top, seven pink candles" hmmm
<Freyja> that's a nice last fuck you to the cleanup crew
<agent_orange> everybody gets beanie weenies
<Leth> the explosive splatter would take weeks to clean up
<Drusilla> "Justice, Equality, World Peace"
<Drusilla> also "Justice, Temperance, with Mercy"
<Leth> "Lobster? uh-huh, ok. Asparagus? hm, ok. Here ya go, Spongebob Mac&Cheese."
<agent_orange> dude near the bottom wanted one flour tortilla and water
<agent_orange> those big meals make hm sleepy
<MisterQ> I like the guy who ordered: 1 bag of assorted Jolly Ranchers
<Leth> "Two double meat cheeseburgers (all the way)"
<Leth> Boi?
<Leth> "Just squeeze 'em in next to the jockey and his saddle"
<MisterQ> You could always order one coke, vintage 1898.. with cocaine
<mdxi> "1 Cheeseburger with American, Cheddar and Mozzarella Cheese, without out mayonnaise, mustard or onions; Large French Fries; Bowl of Macaroni and Cheese; Lasagna with 2 slices of Garlic Bread; 4 oz. of Nacho Cheese..."
<mdxi> dude is gonna be stopped up for WEEKS
<Drusilla> aw, they wouldn't give Richard Foster his cigarettes.
<mdxi> two scotch eggs (boiled and packed in a sausage roll, battered and deep-fried and served with syrup)
<mdxi> that's a new one
<Leth> I had a scotch egg once
<agent_orange> he gets a boca burger on whole wheat. jail can't be responsible for his cholesterol.
<MisterQ> Or order blowfish (fugu) sushi.. with poison sack
<Leth> it actually wasn't bad, although it looked like a hideous mutation
<raven> I get a heart attack just reading a recipe for scotch eggs.
<MisterQ> yes.. scotch eggs is a sure fire way of getting something stuck in your aorta
<agent_orange> scotch eggs are for fags
<MisterQ> scotch eggs are like wrap egg in sausage, butter the whole thing and batter it, then fry it
<MisterQ> also, take a syringe and fill it with oil.. inject into egg
<MisterQ> use lard where applicable
<mdxi> "Shrimp and salad. Shrimp not available. Served cheeseburger, french fries and cola."
<mdxi> shrimp not available?
<mdxi> damn
<mdxi> they don't try very hard
<raven> yeah, like they couldn't send someone out to the Piggly Wiggly for a bag of shrimp?
<agent_orange> Warden had the car
<Sandry> It can't be that they have to conserve money. They sure aren't doing it on the rest of the process.
<Drusilla> they must not have liked him
<MisterQ> theres always :1 jar of dill pickles
<Leth> Fresh fried chicken (no skin, 5 breasts and 20 wings),
<agent_orange> garlic, onions, boiled cabbage, doritios, milk
<Leth> "Gotta watch my girlish figure"
<agent_orange> 20 wings?
<agent_orange> he trying to build his own bird suit?
<Drusilla> yes
<agent_orange> well... okay then.
<MisterQ> "Eucharist - Sacrament"
<MisterQ> "None. Last minute he decided to eat a hamburger at his Mother's request"
<MisterQ> "You should eat something before that nasty chair, dear"
<agent_orange> "Eat something, Bubke. You need your strength."
<agent_orange> yeah, to strain against those leather straps when you RIDE THE LIGHTNING
<Drusilla> "Fine, don't eat, break your mother's heart... I just don't want you to face the wrath of God hungry. But, it's your choice."
<agent_orange> "It's a long way to hell, Jimmy Ray, and they might not have food on that hellbound train, so you should at least bring an apple."
* mdxi hums/airguitars the intro to "For Whom the Bell Tolls"
<agent_orange> wonder how many of these death row crackers listened to metallica in their final hours...
<Freyja> "Asked that final meal be provided to a homeless person"
<Freyja> aww what a nice and compassionate murderer
<Leth> Yeah, that made up for tosing the kindergarten class into the wood chipper
<Leth> "The road is paved with good intentions, not Subway sandwiches!"
<agent_orange> so some poor homeless sonofabitch has to put up with a cholesterol level of 320 and the gibbering shits from all that spic 'n'n spam
<agent_orange> nice fuckin' guy
<MisterQ> "Heaping portion of lettuce, a sliced tomato, a sliced cucumber, four celery stalks, four sticks of American or Cheddar cheese, two bananas and two cold half pints of milk. Asked that all vegetables be washed prior to serving. Also asked that the cheese sticks be clean."
<MisterQ> cause you know, those germs...
<Drusilla> those germs will KILL you
<MisterQ> "Steak and eggs (eggs over easy), toast, punch and package of Marlboro cigarettes (cigarettes prohibited by policy)."
<MisterQ> they're not food, silly
<Drusilla> one guy asked for a single cigarette
<agent_orange> Candy cigarettes served instead
<Freyja> bubblegum is also prohibited
<Leth> apparently they don't even let you request a beer
<Drusilla> that would dull the pain
<Drusilla> the pain of DEATH
<mdxi> well, you don't wanna encourage people. "Damn, i could use a cigarette." *BLAM BLAM BLAM* *waits*
<MisterQ> "Wild game or whatever is on the menu and cold lemonade. Served cheeseburger and french fries, declined last meal"
<MisterQ> Since when is cheesburger and fries 'wild game'?
<agent_orange> warden still not back with the car
<raven> wow, two DOZEN scrambled eggs.
<Drusilla> mmm.
<Drusilla> someone's delaying the execution.
<Leth> "You think you got a gas chamber out there?!" tweeeeeFRAAAPPPP
<agent_orange> "Yeah, and morituri te salutant or whatever." <phlabbiyflabappleblorkflurmble>

Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
I want to submit a log!