Ask your doctor if Kryptonelle is right for you.
<tieboy> sure is a lot of Kryptonite lying around
<Samwise_> Lex started synthesizing it
<Samwise_> Oh, wait... that wasn't until the movie. So, basically, it's just a convoluted plot device
<zompist> that's always been odd. to judge by the amount of kryptonite that comes to earth, krypton must have had as much mass as a small galaxy
<tieboy> or been closer to us than our own moon
<Samwise_> zomp: and have been *right* next door... universally speaking
<tieboy> It must have sucked to have lived on Krypton
<tieboy> people flopping around like dying fish
<zompist> it was colorful, at least
<Samwise_> oh, krypton is like a golf ball... only the inside is radioactive.
<Samwise_> while it was whole, they were fine.
<tieboy> ah, gotcha
<zompist> i bet people cut themselves on the crystals all the time, too
<zompist> and marlon brando running around... he's larger than leth
<Leth> oh, the explanation for the amount that came to earth was that the "space warp" the rocket opened dragged a bunch of the kryptonite meteors with it.
<tieboy> bad planning
<Samwise_> That's stretching the definition of "explanation"
<Leth> well, the one they offered in the comics anyhow
<zompist> it reads only slightly better than "FUCK CONTINUITY"
<tieboy> so, green makes him weak, red makes him a dick
* Leth defers to Sam here
<tieboy> what are the rest? doesn't one make him stronger?
<zompist> mauve makes him gay
<tieboy> yellow makes his liver come out
<zompist> burnt sienna makes him black
<tieboy> blue makes him asphyxiaye
<tieboy> not breathe
<tieboy> BREATHE BAD
<Leth> Asphyxiaye: v. 1: To choke to death during a Jerry Lewis impression
<CrazyClimber> white makes him dance like a spaz
<tieboy> pink makes him watch 'Angel'
<tieboy> orange makes him unable to write rhyming poetry
<Leth> bright orange makes him do bad prop comedy
<tieboy> clear makes people notice him, not his kryptonite
<tieboy> black makes him quit ESPN
<zompist> black and red makes him stand on the balcony in the rain, writing bad poetry
<raven> yellow makes him hafta pee.
<tieboy> Polka dotted makes him into a huge fuckin' fag
<zompist> magenta gives him a huge frickin boner
<Samwise_> off-white gets "Copacabana" stuck in his head
<tieboy> Crispity Crunchity Cocoa Krytonite makes him go Kukoo
<zompist> aquamarine gives him a case of the radioactive shits
<raven> while teal just gives him the regular shits.
<Samwise_> plaid makes him gassy
<tieboy> Gold changes his name to PonyBoy-El
* Samwise_ barely resists urge to explain what gold does in the comics
<tieboy> do tell
<zompist> natural cotton restores his spiritual balance and plays new age in the background
<tieboy> Dark Blue Kryptonite on Black Kryptonite makes him start a gerocities page
<zompist> black with purple spots gets him removed from friends lists
<tieboy> Kryptonelle: the soothing herbal alternative to Kryptonite. Ask your doctor if Kryptonelle is right for you. May cause some side effects for certain aliens not born under a yellow sun, which may include shortness of breath, fatigue, sexual side-effects, and uncontrollable rage
<Samwise_> puce makes him sit in a vat of banana pudding all day
<zompist> olive makes him forget any clever solutions that would unbalance future stories
<tieboy> Rocky Krytonite Lets it Rock!
<CrazyClimber> dark gray makes him belch and scratch his balls unconsciously every so often
<zompist> flashing neon makes his mojo rise
<Samwise_> vanilla followed immediately by ketchup turns him into a brick wall
<tieboy> Khaki makes him buy mochacino lattes
<zompist> heather makes him play board games for hours
<Samwise_> brown gives him a southern accent
<CrazyClimber> light and dark blue stripes give him sparkling white teeth
<Samwise_> red, gold and green makes loving easy
<tieboy> dark brown makes him unable to deliver parcels on time or to the correct location
<zompist> chartreuse makes the little blue and red dots he's printed with blow up to visible size
<tieboy> No Fill makes him invisible
<Samwise_> ice blue gives him a refreshing mint flavor
<CrazyClimber> green and purple swirls make him take the site down
<tieboy> Dark Magenta makes him Clark-a Kent-a, an italian poet
<zompist> copper gives him migraines and makes him scan bad pictures of obscure colleagues
<CrazyClimber> gold makes him walk the pee monsters
<tieboy> Red, if rubbed on his socks, makes him unable to field slow grounders
<Samwise_> orange puts him at elevated alert
<zompist> beige makes him mistake his wife for a hat
<Samwise_> spotted yellow makes him Cheat
<tieboy> Clouded, milky white gives him Bob-ray vision
<CrazyClimber> salt & pepper makes him buy a corvette and date someone half his age
<zompist> maroon gives him a free unit, settler, money, or technology
<Samwise_> red and green gives him the strength of ten grinches, plus two
<CrazyClimber> dark brown makes him put the money on the conveyor belt
<Samwise_> bright yellow makes him a camping fagot
<zompist> mottled tan buys him something from his amazon wishlist
<tieboy> Throbbing Red makes Superman Need Food, Badly
<zompist> black with red stripes signals a pathetic little m00t
<tieboy> Off-white or darker makes him immediately play the race card
<tieboy> Reds makes him immediately become sidelined with an injury for the season
<zompist> caterpillar green gives him the physique of pee-wee herman
<Samwise_> pink with a red center gives him boobs
|Heather Garvey / Raven / email@example.com||I want to submit a log!|