Embryonics. A division of Gamete Co. A member of Zygote Inc.


<maime> oh my gosh. this is funny
<maime> http://www.productsforbaby.com/
<spinn> geez
<spinn> If this one product will make them think about their relationship with Jesus, then we have done our job.
<spinn> then all the production and packaging and advertising and everything will have been worth it, if they sell one
<spinn> that's not really how it works
<MisterQ> So babies will think... what? I like to chew on Jesus?
<maime> Babies can't read.
<spinn> "baby's crying...he wants to chew on jesus again"
<Samwise> Communion wafer zweiback?
<spinn> This teething ring has a great message; "Remember Jesus always, and what he did for each and every one of us!!
<spinn> I think the message is more like "jesus likes slobber"
<MisterQ> Your lord and savior demands more babyspit
<spinn> "I would appreciate any help in marketing this product"
<spinn> sure, here's your help: "don't"
<MisterQ> At first glance, I thought that was a Jesus condom
<maime> and the domain name is a big fat lie. Jesus and Baby Jesus would cry that there was only one product.
<MisterQ> This is a product that a child will hold onto and look at - regardless if it ever gets used for its so called 'purpose'.
<MisterQ> what?
<Machival> what the hell?
<MisterQ> And whats funny is that is their only product
<AliasN> Baby products with a timeless message: Jesus. Um, that's not really a message.
<AliasN> Jesus...what?
<Machival> loves to be nibbled.
<spinn> one if by land, jesus if by sea
<AliasN> who doesn't?
<maime> what happens when it falls out of the stroller and mommy forgets to pick it up.
<maime> Jesus will make the baby cry for the rest of her life.
<spinn> I think it's a sin or something
<spinn> on the ordering page: "Ideal Fundraiser"
<spinn> uh yeah
<AliasN> What a horrible product, why that baby is taking the Lord's name in vain!
<AliasN> New teether: Fuck!
<spinn> no, he's taking the Lord's name in mouth
<Machival> what if the baby chews on it upside-down most of the time? will it end up getting the same intended message about an entity known as "suseJ'?
<MisterQ> They should also make a pentigram one and see which one baby prefers
<spinn> well at least he's not saying it's for the kid really. seems to be more for the families, etc
<Machival> which is, of course, even sadder.
<MisterQ> The ideal teething ring would have Jesus on one side and Satan on the other
<AliasN> Hmm...well, I love the visual I get with this product. My only question: is it phthalate free? Yes! Sold!
<MisterQ> Actually, the ideal teething ring would be a round circle
<Machival> actually, the ideal teething ring would serve the purpose of aiding the dental development of a child to its highest ability.
<MisterQ> yeah what he said
<maime> and it would say "Don't suck your thumb"
<spinn> yeth! I hate phthalate tho mucth!
<AliasN> Hand me that phthalate, let'sth take a look...oh yeah, here's your problem...baby'sth teethin'...
<raven> Is that Pontius Phthalate?
<MisterQ> I don't know what that is, but it looks like my baby shouldn't eat it
<Machival> the cthulhu rings must be the ones that contain phthalate, then, I'm guessing.
<Samwise> Dude, never give a baby cthulhu.
<MisterQ> Cthulhu rings contain the insane souls of elder beings best left forgotten
<Machival> they're made from stiffened tentacles of deep sea gods.
<MisterQ> My baby just can't get enough Phthalate
<MisterQ> look how well her tentacles are growing in
<spinn> think they have phthalate in the new centrum
<maime> I was told yesterday that I have to buy my sister's new science project a baby swing.
<maime> I said "Um okay" the things are like $100
<Machival> get one of the phthalate-constructed swings. that'll show her.
<maime> It was good enough for me.
<AliasN> "By God's grace I have already received orders from 5 different states!"
<spinn> yeah, 'cos advertising or a business plan sure didn't do it
<Machival> "Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name..."
<maime> I wish I was a hispanic man named Jesus.
<maime> That would be cool.
<Machival> how come they have two different "click on the item to see the color" things?
<Machival> er... "click on color to see close up", rather.
<Machival> "This is the rings on a table. And down here, you can see the rings against a white background."
<MisterQ> http://shop.store.yahoo.com/ibabydoc/mozmagxyl.html : Now according to the name, this was the instrument that the Embryonic mozart played while he was still a fetus
<Machival> do... do you shove that up your vagina or something while you're pregnant?
<agent_orange> "Okay, honey, now blow!"\
<MisterQ> "Give your fetus the gift of music"
<AliasN> Embryonics. A division of Gamete Co.
<MisterQ> A member of Zygote Inc.
<Machival> http://shop.store.yahoo.com/ibabydoc/embryionics.html <-- hey, this company offers plenty of stuff to shove up your vagina, apparently!
<Machival> check out the drum.
<MisterQ> I like the nature babies video: watch animals with their babies.. then animals eat their babies
<MisterQ> Yes, the Mozard Magic Drum.. the magic is how many excedrin it takes to make the pain stop
<Machival> it's the magic of the post partem depression that persuades you to take your child's life in the bathtub.
<agent_orange> Baby Toy Rule of Thumb: The more lights and songs and shit it has, the faster they lose interest
<Samwise> Hey, I'm all for babies losing interest in the noise-making things.
<Machival> same here.
<agent_orange> well, they note which ones really piss you off and then keep playing with those
<agent_orange> but for the most part, lights and BEEP BOOP NEEP MEEP gets boring quick
<AliasN> What's with the crazy names for baby stuff. WubbaNub?
<AliasN> That's filthy.
<Machival> what the fuck do they sell, infant masturbatory lotion?

Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
I want to submit a log!