Well, that's enough whimsey for one lifetime


<Kyol> So, uh, over short periods, how much does jelly need to be refrigerated?
<Kyol> I mean, like _really_.
<agent_orange> uh oh
<Kyol> Nah, just trying to save myself thr trouble of finding a spot in the fridge.
<raven> Opened jelly? yeah, it needs to be refridgerated.
<Elkman> Especially if it's type AB negative. That stuff spoils quickly.
<raven> big pile of moist sugar open to bacteria and molds? yeah.
<agent_orange> you left it *out*?
<agent_orange> oh dear god
* agent_orange gets the air force on the horn
<Kyol> Nah, this is a new jar of jelly.
<kaufman> but in wisconsin, refrigeration usually means warming
<raven> hell, forever then.
<Kyol> ...but it's opened now.
<raven> Then no.
<agent_orange> "Situation Smuckers! We need napalm over here!"
<Kyol> *sheerr-pop!*
<agent_orange> YOU FOOOOOOL
<raven> you OPENED the JAR???
<Kyol> What if I seal it with wax or something? :)
<Elkman> You're basically running a petri dish now if you've had it opened and not refrigerated.
* Kyol wanders off to have a smoke.
<raven> too late, it's a petri dish.
<kaufman> what flavor is it? Agar?
<shil> bah! there are so many preservatives in that stuff.
<Samwise> "Refrigerate after opening" should not be taken with the same grain of salt used for "lather, rinse, repeat".
<agent_orange> "Mr. President? Orange here. The unthinkable has happened sir. We need to get you to a safe location."
<kaufman> shil: that's preserves
<Samwise> Well, really, the sugars provide some defense.
<Samwise> They osmose the water right out of any microbes, killing them.
<Kyol> kauf: Seedless strawberry.
<agent_orange> Peach Ptomaine
<agent_orange> Poisonberry
<Elkman> Botulism Berry Surprise!
<agent_orange> Blackteria Berry
<kaufman> Ebola Cherries
<agent_orange> Orange Harmalade
<kaufman> Beri-Beri
<kaufman> *** #spinnwebe is now known as #jamcracker
<agent_orange> well, that's enough whimsey for one lifetime
<Samwise> Huckleberries In V... V... fuckit, nothing appropriate starts with v.
*** SoiledGreen has joined #spinnwebe
<SoiledGreen> hey all.
<agent_orange> vomit
<SoiledGreen> yeah, i've made some people do that.
<agent_orange> no, that was ... I meant ... well, okay.
<Elkman> We're talking about Kyol's jelly here.
<Elkman> Agent Orange Marmalade.
<Samwise> which will one day take its place beside lorenzo's oil
<SoiledGreen> shil seasoning.
<Samwise> KYol's Jelly... has a ring to it...
<agent_orange> and Kaufman's Krabs
<agent_orange> CC's Pieces
<CrazyClimber> i'm an aries, actually
<kaufman> SoiledGreenGiant
<agent_orange> don't eat too much fruit, or you might get dariarrhea
<SoiledGreen> and does mrluke make all this in his kitchen?
<agent_orange> Iron Bot Chef
<SoiledGreen> Samwise Soup.
<agent_orange> Hamwise
<SoiledGreen> topped with LadyJ seasoning.
<agent_orange> topped *by* Lady J
* kaufman takes inventory of who's on line and orders lunch...
<Samwise> Mmmmm, lunch...
<agent_orange> luuuuuunnnch
<kaufman> Two all-beef Photons, Sam, shil, kauf, Leth, CC, Elkman, raven on a SoiledGreen bun
<Samwise> bahahahahahaaha
<SoiledGreen> mm... filet of raven..
<CrazyClimber> i'd rather not be on sg's buns, personally
<CrazyClimber> no offense, sg
<agent_orange> I think you're past your use-by date, CC
<agent_orange> seeing how you're over twelve
<Elkman> "Hold the Photons, hold the Lethuce, special servings won't upset us!"
* SoiledGreen wonders if he shrinks after cooking.
<kaufman> soiled: Sigmund Freud often did
<Samwise> but he also cooks after shrinking.
<CrazyClimber> yow
<jeeb> Catsup and Mustard all over the place! It's the Human Hamburger!
<SoiledGreen> Machival deep crab boil.
<kaufman> jeeb, I'm impressed
<Elkman> Yeah. That was good timing.
<agent_orange> spooky
<SoiledGreen> thanks jeeb!
<agent_orange> cb
<agent_orange> well, one out of 2
* kaufman wonders how to politely bring up a non-daria creamer
<daria> what, you're cheating on me and using someone else's cream?!
<SoiledGreen> daria topping...
<agent_orange> unhh..
<SoiledGreen> something someone wants on a steak?
<SoiledGreen> well, at work there is something called the "Erick Topping". i don't know how they make it.
<SoiledGreen> it's strangly white, and there are two Ericks that work in the kitchen.
<agent_orange> with Erick on the bottom, probably
<agent_orange> eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
<agent_orange> w!
<Samwise> Is it whipped?
<agent_orange> or beaten?
<agent_orange> or merely churned?
<Samwise> or, heaven forbid, folded?
<SoiledGreen> who knows... they make it in the morning... when both of the Ericks' are there.
<Elkman> Or trussed?
<kaufman> or boi-led?
<Samwise> Could be baked.
<SoiledGreen> well, they both do smoke pot.
<SoiledGreen> so it could be baked.
<kaufman> or fried
<agent_orange> or placed in a warm ban marie for fifteen minutes
<Samwise> Or, if the traffic's bad in the morning, steamed.
<agent_orange> or parboiled
<agent_orange> or fricasseed
<SoiledGreen> are sauteed in white wine and butter..
<Elkman> With a nice Chianti.
<agent_orange> this is like bad performance art
<kaufman> this is disgusting
<SoiledGreen> and everyone wonders why i don't eat at work...
<raven> I never wondered about that.
<kaufman> for all the grief spinn was taking last week about turning into martha stewart...
<kaufman> the virus has spead to us!
<SoiledGreen> i'll cook at the next GTG, if you'd like..
<agent_orange> mmm.. prison chow
<SoiledGreen> ...but if someone comes up missing, don't be surprised.
<CrazyClimber> maybe maime will bring her kitty
<kaufman> flambe`?
<agent_orange> I heard it was POTLUCK so I brought some FEET
<SoiledGreen> mmm... SoiledGreen stew.
<SoiledGreen> hmmmm... a grilled breast with shil seasoning.
<Samwise> Mmmmmm... shilled breast...
<SoiledGreen> with a light cramy sauce...
<SoiledGreen> errr... creamy.
<shil> clammy sauce?
<shil> eww.
<kaufman> light, crammy is a bit of an oxymoron
<agent_orange> mmmm ... stuffed tennesee breasts with shilantro ...
<agent_orange> with a couple of Aureole Double Stuff Cookies
<shil> breasts: it's what's for dinner
<agent_orange> pussy: it's what's for lunch
<kaufman> boob is good food
<SoiledGreen> boob: the other white meat.
<kaufman> got milk?
<agent_orange> behold! the power of ... uh ... tits!
<SoiledGreen> and do they ever hvae the power....
<shil> breasts: it's what's for conversation around here
<kaufman> tater tits!
<agent_orange> everybody talks about breasts, but nobody DOES anything about them
<Elkman> What are we supposed to do about them? Form a support group or something?
<agent_orange> that was either really, really clever or really, really stupid
<shil> you're supposed to worship them
<SoiledGreen> Lunch Special: Stuffed Breasts With Shil Topping, With A Choice of a side of Tater Tits, or Creamed Mashed Potatoes, comes Blackened or Deep Fried.
<agent_orange> once blackened, never .. um ... back end... but let's not be hasty
<kaufman> would you like thighs with that?
<Samwise> Please!
<Samwise> Well, hmmm... are the thighs juicy and tender?
<SoiledGreen> mmmm.... pan fried clitoris.
<agent_orange> what?
<raven> Ow. Christ, sg.
<agent_orange> that's just SICK
* Samwise edges from sg
<shil> SG's got it licked
<agent_orange> mmmm ... mashed up baby head!
<Elkman> Thanks for that suggestion, Mr. Lecter.
<Samwise> he's still changing diapers, that's only to be expected.
<agent_orange> yummy fillet of crippled baby duck!
<SoiledGreen> maybe i should open up a resturant.
<SoiledGreen> the SoiledGreen cafe.
<Elkman> And I used to think that head cheese was the grossest meat.
<kaufman> SoiledGreen Tomatoes?
<SoiledGreen> the health inspector walks in... but never returns.
<agent_orange> I'm makin' my own GRAVY!
<SoiledGreen> it will be the lunch special, agt.

Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
I want to submit a log!