"And yay, Didst Ezekiel pass wind upon the Babylonians, smiting them in its gaseous way"


<agt_orang> Stuart Little got and *89*
<agt_orang> ooo, flatulence. that explains it.
<Da_Raven> Damn anal winds.
<spinn_> gasual expulsion from the gluteus maximus fissure
<Samwise> Of course gas is from the DEVIL HIMSELF.
<spinn_> I dunno about him, but I fart
<spinn_> if his butthole is a large enough cavern that there are winds blowing through it, there's a whole other side to him that might explain some things
<agt_orang> Flatulance is a beautiful thing, sent by god himself, but hollywood just vulgarizes it.
<SeanQ> "Dear Mr. Carder: Once when i had really bad gas, i left a skidmark in my shorts that loked just like the Shroud of Turin. Does this mean gas is not really of the Devil?"
<Leth> "If it's bad, why does Daddy go 'Oh Jesus!' everytime I fart in the car?"
<spinn_> I think my farts are holy, considering Who created them
<spinn_> hey
<spinn_> that's a good point
<spinn_> who the hell is he to say th--
<spinn_> oh, well, nevermind, he already thinks the cap model is from On High
<Leth> "And yay, Didst Ezekiel pass wind upon the Babylonians, smiting them in its gaseous way"
<Da_Raven> greg : What, beans? Or should that be Beans?
<spinn_> if he says farts are against' God's divine Will, then they're against His Will
<Samwise> "And Adam was about to begat again, but so violent and malodorous were his neter winds that Eve runneth in horror."
<agt_orang> "And Balaam's ass did commence to whistle a merry tune."
<tieboy> "Peter, three times before the cock crows, you shall let one."
<spinn_> "and they turned, and his wife became a pillar of salt; and lo, his nephew did become a gaseous cloud filled with the stink of yesterday's egg and cheese bagel"
<Leth> "althought Daniel was assaulted by the anal winds of the lions, he thought of the smell of God, and was comforted. "
<kaufman> pullest thou mine finger
<spinn_> watch it...they're flammable
<agt_orang> "Take this bread; it is my bod---aw, man, who cut the cheese?"
<mdxi> Jesus pooted.
<agt_orang> the moving finger pulls, and moves on...
<SeanQ> ken: the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel
<kaufman> the angel of death is silent but deadly ...
<spinn_> that was on the tablet mel brooks dropped. number 12. "thou shalt pull thy grandfather's finger"
<Leth> Man, Pentecost could have been a disaster if it was Taco Night
<agt_orang> "And then the Fifth seal did open;
<TomFish> have you heard the good news? he farted
<Leth> "and the tongues of flame lit upon the Apostles, igniting their anal wind and consuming them utterly"
<agt_orang> and a thunderous roar eminated"
<kaufman> The Eleventh Plague ...
<Samwise> ...bratwurst?
<Leth> and saurkraut
<Leth> Mene, mene, tekel whophartedsen
<Da_Raven> That'll melt your eyes right off.
<TomFish> so that's what the holy ghost really is
<Samwise> If you're a Nazi...I understand they're rather waxy.
<kaufman> and David let forth a feeble pffft. And Goliath and the Philistin host all laughed. But the wind was made to shift, and the fart besmote them.
<Da_Raven> That's what they kept in the Ark. 2000-year-old beer-and-brat farts.
<spinn_> and moses says, the messenger of God shall be upon them, and they will stink as unto a diseased yak fed unto aught but kidney beans and cabbage for 40 days, and locked in a small room, yay, with little ventilation upon it
<agt_orang> tat's why Jesus put the smackdown on that fig tree... "Thou hast caused be to ruin my smock!"
<spinn_> "fucking fig farts!"
<spinn_> "damnit, dad, why'd you go do a dumbass thing like that?"
<kaufman> and Adam and Eve tasted the fruit and quickly put on fig leaves, butt plugs and nose clips.
<agt_orang> I"I thought the loaves and fishes were lethal, but *Me* on a pogo stick, Dad!"
<spinn_> <pointing finger of Jesus at fig tree> "Kapow! that's for the farts, you bastard!"
<spinn_> ...wither...
<TomFish> water into beano?
<spinn_> besmote. behehe.
<kaufman> And the voice rang down: WHO FARTED? And Cain said, Not me. It +was Abel.
<spinn_> I am anal wind besmoten unto thee, oh lord
<spinn_> heheh
<spinn_> sing that on sunday
<spinn_> I Am Anal Wind Besmoten Unto Thee, O Lord
<spinn_> obviously the kid that was snorting God's chest hairs wasn't around +for cabbage night
<agt_orang> "Blesed are the meek, for... [tweeFRAP] oh, momma! Anyway, blessed +are the meek..."
<spinn_> bahahah
<spinn_> excellent audio there
<spinn_> a two-stager
<agt_orang> cabbage night
<spinn_> you figure god poops manna?
<spinn_> wonder if there have been any scholarly discussions on His divine Scat
<kaufman> you do realize that "Passover" is a corruption of "Ass Power"
<spinn_> yeah, so man is made in god's image, except we got the bonus of having to poop
<spinn_> thanks, God
<kaufman> and not manna
<spinn_> well
* tweeFRAPP goes to "execrise a demon"
<kaufman> though I'll probably poop manana
<TomFish> the brown dirt snake? holy or profane?
<agt_orang> On the seventh day, God hogged the hopper for the whole morning
<spinn_> I'm sure theologans would never admit that the Lord our God needs to pinch a Loaf Almighty
<Leth> That'd explain Gary Indiana, tho
<Leth> It's the Holy Excretion
<SeanQ> "Father, can God make a toilet bowl so big that He Himself can't plug it?"
<kaufman> Thou shalt not take the sound of My farts in vain.
<spinn_> "boy, say your rosary and leave me alone."
<agt_orang> That might explain His crankier moods... divine constipation
* SeanQ slinks off to the confessional
<tieboy> "Hey, God, you fall in??"
<Leth> And on the 7th day, he did rest, and then asked who stepped on a duck
<SeanQ> maybe tornadoes are God flushing
<agt_orang> ...nd god disdt say to mary, "ooo. kiss me agin"
<Leth> is there Coriolis effect in Heaven?
<Leth> Then God pulled the covers over Mary's head, Dutch-Ovening her...
<agt_orang> "Jesus Christ, quit farting in here! Were you born in a barn?! Oh, wit... you were..."
<agt_orang> scuze me while I, uh... go make a "burnt offering"

Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
I want to submit a log!