<Lots42> Every household got an, in essence, SASE via the govt. due to the census. Send pron to the govt.!!
<Kyol> Why are people so fucking up in arms about the census, anyway?
<Lots42> Kyol, because the long form census is incredibly invasive and it's just supposed to be used to count people, not distrubute money
<Elkman> Cause it's the GOVERNMENT, man. They're TRACKING us, man! Aren't you afraid?
* Elkman puts on his aluminum-foil helmet
<Lots42> I CONTROL THE HORIZONTAL. I CONTROL THE (*#%(@R% NO CARRIER
<LimePi> I guess the long form one has questions like "Chocolate or Vanilla," "Mint or Gum," "KY or AstroGlide"
<Kyol> Heh. That's what I don't get. They can't make up their minds - either the government is this evil black helicoptor organization who could erase you from the face of the planet with nobody noticing, or they're a bunch of bumbling idiots who can't keep the highways in good repair.
<agent_orange> "Yes, we in the governemnt need to know how much you make, where you are, and what your ethnicity is, in case we have to sieze--er, so we can send more money to inner-city schools
<kaufman> and if you keep your mouth open
<Elkman> Now they can't beam their MIND CONTROL lasers at me.
<Lots42> Kyol, you don't understand. They are a bunch of bumbling evil people with black helicopters that cost too much. That's worse
<spinn> "filling out your census form will make the trains run on time"
<kaufman> so we know the proper way to gerrymander to keep the Ins in
<LimePi> what's the name of the NSA project where they listen in on all the phone conversations?
<spinn> oh yeah, um
<Lots42> LimPi it's called AOL
<LimePi> it's something with an e
<spinn> starts with a vowel
<spinn> like nine letters
<LimePi> it was on 60 minutes
<Lots42> "I'd like to buy a vowel, Pat."
* kaufman was going to say Psychic Friends Network
<LimePi> echelon is it...
<spinn> huh, seven letters
<spinn> I'm surprised my memory recovered that
<StanXhiao> echelon.... ther's a guy here who's obsessed with it
<Lots42> As if the govt. could do something like that. They'd go with the lowest bidder and get ten year old tech everyone can overcome.
<SeanQ> you maybe were thinking of Escherlon
<kaufman> my project is spelled / e-c-h-e-l-o-n / I know what you say
<Lots42> M.S. Escherlon. You listen to your phone coversations from last week.
<kaufman> sean: there you go -- spook1 listens to spook2 listens to spook3 listens to spook4 listens to spook1
<Leth> Actually, Echelon exists, but not to the extent that the conspiracy theorists have made it out to be
<Samwise> Leth: what does.
<Leth> It pretty much just monitors int'l business communications
<mdxi> you mean Echelon?
<Lots42> Someone has to listen to the listeners.
<StanXhiao> My obsessed coworker tells me that the UK is snooping everything in their domain
<Elkman> "Echelon. By Calvin Klein."
<LimePi> I don't think there's anyone that actually reads CAP Alert to find movies suitable for children, etc.
<Lots42> Odd question: Anyone ever read Spiderman 2099? They had this orginization called the Public Eye.
<Lots42> The Public Eye had camreas EVERYWHERE
<Lots42> I read all avout this then I saw traffic camreas going up.
<spinn> I'm listening. /I'm listening./ I'M LISTENING. I hear you. (I hear you.) I HEAR YOU.
<spinn> echelon. by calvin klein.
<Leth> we've got three or four Echelon nuts on snopes.... they're beyond rabid
<StanXhiao> And if you try to run, huge white balls will come bouncing after you.
<Lots42> Huge white balls...sounds like Bill Gates.
<Elkman> So, what would Parfums Du Coeur's designer imposter be for that?
<spinn> Big Snoopy Guy
<Samwise> Unwashed Geek Phreaker
<spinn> Freshly Wiretapped Circuit
<agent_orange> Paranoid Schizophrenic fantasy
<Lots42> Fodder For Us
<spinn> oh, yeah, "...Fantasy". Forgot.
<agent_orange> Newly Dosed Psycho
<StanXhiao> Prisoner No. 6.
<agent_orange> Eau de Builderburg Group
<LJ-atwork> El preso numero nueve
<kaufman> Newly Eavesdropped h4x0r
<SeanQ> "All Ears"
<Lots42> Eue De UN
<spinn> hehehe. paranoid schizophrenic fantasy. smells like charred tv sets and five-year-old urine stored in a jar in the basement.
<agent_orange> and lots and lots of yellowed newspapers
<kaufman> Freshly Painted Helicopter
<Elkman> Newly Broken Code
<SeanQ> "Tap into our latest fragrance creation!"
<spinn> there's an idea.
<spinn> market it /like/ rap musk, but for the linux crowd
<Leth> Geek Reek
<kaufman> * SeanQ will have his promotion within a week
<spinn> "Plug in" the exciting new scent for the "Information" "Superhighway"!!
<kaufman> Wind-eaus 2000
<spinn> :), by Parfums DE Coueareerer
<spinn> or however the fuck our company is spelt
<LJ-atwork> Common Scents
<SeanQ> Parfums de Core Dump
<Samwise> Are you the only geek at your company without offensive body odor?
<kaufman> Blue Cologne of Death
<agent_orange> Smells Like Teen Outcasts
<spinn> oh, yeah. for the geeks, a decidedly non-subtle mix of old spice, clove cigarette smoke, and lysol
<kaufman> Dried Dr. Pepper Drops Fantasy
<Elkman> Jolt Body Wash.
* Samwise looks at spinn...and what's wrong with old spice & cloves?!
<Lots42> Solder Smell
<Lots42> Buy now, get a free mouse and mouse pad featuring Bush
<spinn> caffeinated cologne!
<spinn> sean, write that down RIGHT NOW
<spinn> put that in production and soon the boss will be smelling /your/ arm
<SeanQ> spinn: he actually tried to market a coffee-based fragrance when Starbucks went big
<agent_orange> Just a Splash of Amyl Nitrate fantasy and your heart will go pitter-pat!
<Elkman> "Sold at Nordstrom's and by pheromone spammers throughout the Internet."
<SeanQ> "hate" isn't strong enough a word to describe the reaction
<spinn> did he have Newly Baked Bread, too?
<Samwise> that might actually get techies to use scents.
<spinn> Eau de WD-40
<Leth> You'd have the problem of all the engineers trying to lick themselves constantly though
<Leth> "Oh! I forgot about the back of my knee!" <struggle struggle>
<SeanQ> "Why would I want to smell like I spilled a cup of latte in my lap?"
<spinn> leth, you got me on that one
<LimePi> eau de robo
<agent_orange> call it "Spider-man fantasy" or "Eau de Quake Skin" and they'll eat it up
<Lots42> SeanQ you'd smell like a million dollars
<Lots42> Who needs hygiene when smellcams don't exist yet?
<Samwise> Smellcams? THey'd be a colorbar like the bioscan in alpha centauri
<spinn> why aren't there pokemon scents yet? you coulda had Smells Like Pikachu
<spinn> requires 150 different scents, and kids will want them all
<Leth> heheh "Click HERE for FRESHNESS!"
<Lots42> Howabout Smells Like Muk?
<Elkman> Newly Morphed Squirtle Fantasy
<agent_orange> Pikachu Noir
<LimePi> ozone cologne
<kaufman> Venti Grande Fantasy
<SeanQ> Mattel approached us about licensing Barbie
<SeanQ> see wher you can go with that one
<Samwise> ^Pleasant---^Neutral---^Rank---^Head of R&D
<spinn> oh man, barbie
<LJ-atwork> "Driving Cars is hard."
<spinn> Teen Slut Barbie
<kaufman> Mattel #48-18-36
<agent_orange> "Math is hard. How 'bout a blowjob?"
<Samwise> "Shopping is hard. Let's do math!"
<kaufman> or whatever her proportions are
<LJ-atwork> "My tits are hard"
<SeanQ> "Ken, buy me something"
* Samwise takes the M&M's from J
<agent_orange> "I have no Vagina" Fantasty
<spinn> Stinky French Hooker-Smelling Barbie
<Elkman> Anatomically Correct Ken Fantasy
<kaufman> agt: there you go -- Harlan Ellison Barbie
<StanXhiao> "Skipper has a 3-inch tonhue... and she's only 6 inches tall!"
<SeanQ> ooh! Malibu Musk Barbie
<LJ-atwork> Barbie Dream Cottage Fantasy Dream
<Leth> Virginal Cheerleader Skipper Fantasy
<LimePi> I read that the cacophony society switched the voice boxes on the talking barbie and talking GI Joe
<LimePi> and returned them to the store
<StanXhiao> "Midge has magic fingers!"
<Samwise> Barbie Anal Pokemon 64
<spinn> playing on the five trends of kids today: malibu! barbie! malibu barbie! malibu musk! musk!
<agent_orange> Skipper and GI Joe on a Firey Cross made of old fence pickets in the backyard fantasy
<LJ-atwork> Super Barbie Pokemon Pocky!
<LimePi> mmm.... pocky
<SeanQ> Barbichu! I smell you!
<LJ-atwork> Mahirichu! I kiss you!
<kaufman> Turkish Visitator Fantasy
<agent_orange> Barbeque Barbichu
<spinn> My First Seduction Barbie
<SeanQ> I live alone!!!!! Smell me now!!!!!
<spinn> "I like cologne"
<agent_orange> Bukakke Barbie Fantasy
<LimePi> Business woman Barbie- comes with designer wardrobe, stock portfolio, cell phone, Palm Pilot, Toshiba Laptop, BMW, two spoiled children, and a cheating husband.
<agent_orange> Shil Fantasy: Mello Yellow, Winstons, sperm
<StanXhiao> "My clitoris is bigger than Ken's thingie."
<LJ-atwork> I'm laughing harder than last night while I was reading baiting.org
<spinn> that's saying something.
<LJ-atwork> I'm doing that embarassing crying while i laugh thing
<spinn> yeah, that's bad.
<LJ-atwork> i can't stop it.
<spinn> I don't think 've ever gotten caught at that, but I always fear it when I get there.
<Samwise> "Stopit, I'm gonna pee"
<Elkman> Midlife Crisis Ken: Comes with a receding hairline, a red Corvette, a trophy girlfriend, and a cell phone to trade stocks on margin.
<agent_orange> and tiny plastic viagra tabs
<LJ-atwork> I did it perpetually during the gtg
<LJ-atwork> except during that dr otto window
<Leth> imagine the fun you'll have being able to laugh in the comfort of your own home, spinn
<StanXhiao> "I don't get stuff collecting between my toes, 'cause they're fused together."
<agent_orange> Wipe my butt! (with a damp sponge)
<kaufman> Split Ken
<Elkman> Is that a doll, or a request?
<kaufman> a doll
<LimePi> splitcock ken!
<agent_orange> barbie has no nipples to pierce, but you could probably hammer a nail throughthem
<Leth> dammit, snkkkt-ing is harder with my old man in the next goddamned cube
<agent_orange> Leth: you need a safeword to yell instead of laughing
<Leth> Radius accounting! Domain authentication!
<agent_orange> I stand corrected
<Leth> hehe...BSDM Barbie: complete with rack, ball gag, and CBT devices!
<Samwise> New model of "party Barbie"
<agent_orange> Play Party barbie
<LJ-atwork> if I can't find a corset, I may have to make something like that out of duct tape
<StanXhiao> "I wish I had a toothpick..."
<LimePi> Spring Break barbie! Comes with tequila shooters, skimpy bikini, and a 2.4 GPA... beer bong not included
<agent_orange> naked drunk skanky barbie
<StanXhiao> "Midge and I like to show out tits and get beads, lots of beads."
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