"UH... CHARGE, I GUESS. YOU. OVER THERE SITTING ALONE. CHARGE."

SWHC



<tieboy> hey, there's a job opening at the Oakland Collesium. To run the Diamond Vision
<tieboy> I could type in messages
<Mr-Ben> Go for it, tie!
<Mr-Ben> Rig it to show IADL.
<tieboy> that'd be nice, too. it's about 5 minutes away
<tieboy> except they want previous Diamond Vision experience
<Kyol> Hey, tie doesn't have Leth's tyop-capability, either. Bonus!
<tieboy> plus, no one attends the games. so I could type whatever I want
<tieboy> "UH... CHARGE, I GUESS. YOU. OVER THERE SITTING ALONE. CHARGE."
<CrazyClimber> "HELLO ALL COCKSUCKING PORCHMONKEYS"
<Kyol> "HERE WE GO, UHH, WHAT'S THE TEAM NAME?"
<Mr-Ben> "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU'RE CLEARLY NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE GAME...OR THAT HOT BLONDE IN SECTION G STRIPPING NAKED."
<SeanQ> "NOW BATTING: BEN GRAVY"
<SeanQ> "ATTENTION MR. DAVIS: THE MOVING VANS ARE IDLING OUTSIDE GATE C"
<tieboy> TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE FOR PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING
<CrazyClimber> "PLEASE BUY HOT DOGS BEFORE WE THROW THEM AWAY"
<tieboy> HEH
<tieboy> er, heh
<spinn> MY LIFE IS A NEVERENDING SAGA OF ENNUI AND DESPAIR
<tieboy> PLEASE VISIT ME
<Mr-Ben> "THIS IS OUR LAST GAME, FOLKS. THE A's ARE MOVING TO SALT LAKE CITY EFFECTIVE TOMORROW. SEE YA! HAHAHAH!"
<TMR> MEET ME IN THE HANDICAPPED STALL
<spinn> SEE ME FOR CDS AND TSHIRTS OF MY GARAGE BAND AFTER THE GAME
<tieboy> BOY IS OAKLAND EVER A SHITHOLE. AM I RIGHT?
<CrazyClimber> IF U CN RD THS U CN GT A GD JB
<SeanQ> "HOME PLATE UMPIRE: JOHN SCHUERHOLTZ. LIVES AT 1453 GREENVIEW AVE, SENECA FALLS...."
<tieboy> THE INFORMATION YOU REQUESTED
<Mr-Ben> METS RULE! METS RULE!!
<SeanQ> THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK
<Mr-Ben> CLICK HERE FOR HARDCORE PICTURES
<Kyol> "HOT NEW BATTER: L@@K L@@K MIB"
<tieboy> ANYONE FEEL LIKE PITCHING NEXT INNING?
<TomtheFish> 404 NOT FOUND
<SeanQ> MAY 25: BILLY BEANE BABY DAY
<Mr-Ben> "CAN YOU BELIEVE OZZFEST 2000 ATTRACTED MORE FANS THAN ANY OF THE HOME GAMES?"
<CrazyClimber> FREE SCORING LESSONS IN DIAMOND VISION OPERATOR BOOTH
<spinn> R U O K?
<TomtheFish> 35 SWM SEEKS SWF N/S N/D
<StanXhiao> BBIAB
<spinn> THIS IS THE LAST TIME I LET MY UNCLE SET ME UP WITH A JOB
<CrazyClimber> PLEASE DO YOUR OWN WACKY SOUND EFFECTS, I'M GOING TO LUNCH
<tieboy> FLY BALLS HIT INTO THE STANDS MAY BE DANGEROUS. PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ACTION. YES, YOU.
<tieboy> FREE BAT FOR THE FAN SITTING IN MY LAP
<spinn> 10 PRINT "LETS GO $TEAM LETS GO" 20 GOTO 10
<tieboy> LORE
<tieboy> LORE
<tieboy> LORE
<CrazyClimber> IF ANY PLAYS DESERVE A REPLAY, PLEASE ALERT THE MEDIA
<TMR> PLEASE RISE FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM (in the bottom of the 4th)
<spinn> MOVE ALONG, NOTHING TO SEE HERE
<tieboy> LET'S FACE IT, EVERYONE JUST CARES ABOUT THE RAIDERS
*** zompist (markrose@shell-3.enteract.com) has joined channel #spinnwebe
<spinn> NEXT UP: ZOMPIST
<SeanQ> "ANY FANS WITH EXTRA 100W BULBS PLEASE REPORT TO SECTION 224"
<Mr-Ben> NUDE BASEBALL, JULY 18th AND 19th! BE THERE!
<spinn> sean, aww, you missed it.
<CrazyClimber> SO, LIKE, HAS ANYONE EVER *SEEN* AN OAK AROUND HERE?
<tieboy> YOUR SPEED: 43 MPH
<SeanQ> what?
<spinn> ANY ANS WI H EXTR 100W B LBS PLE SE REPOR TO SECTI N 2 4
<SeanQ> hehehe
<tieboy> SO, ANYONE WATCH "FRIENDS" LAST NIGHT?
<TMR> YOUR FLY IS OPEN
<SeanQ> much better, thanks
<CrazyClimber> it's a big tv screen. it doesn't have bulbs.
<TomtheFish> STRIKEOUT! TRY THE GIRL ON YOUR LEFT INSTEAD.
<tieboy> STOP ALL THAT DRUMMING ALREADY, GODDAMMIT
<spinn> mark: running the dimaondvision in oakland
<CrazyClimber> BE NICE TO THE BEER GUY, HE'S THE ONLY EMPLOYEE LEFT
<TomtheFish> ATHLETIC? MATT STAIRS? HAHAHAHA!
<tieboy> MY LIGHTS ARE ON IN THE PARKING LOT. BBIAB
<SeanQ> FANS THROWING OBJECTS ON THE FIELD WILL BE GIVEN TWO TICKETS FOR THE NEXT HOMESTAND... ER, EJECTED FROM THE STADIUM
<tieboy> AGE/SEX/ERA CHECK
<spinn> WHY WHEN I WAS A BOY I REMEMBER MUGSY "IRON SHINS" MCGEE HITTING 729 HOME RUNS IN THE SAME GAME AND NOT ONE OF THEM FELL SHORT OF 800 YARDS
<SeanQ> THIS "CALL TO THE BULLPEN" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MATCHLITE
<zompist> the monkey glues down the caps lock key in a popular irc channel in anoka, minnesota
<spinn> WILL THE OWNER OF A GREY BUICK, LICENSE PLACE 758 AMR OH CRAP
<tieboy> COSTUME CONTEST - FIRST PRIZE: TICKETS FOR 5 GAMES. SECOND PRIZE: TICKETS FOR 10 GAMES
<CrazyClimber> PLEASE BRING FOOD, I HAVEN'T EATEN IN DAYS
<Mr-Ben> CHARLIE SHEEN BOUGHT EVERY SEAT IN A SECTION HOPING TO CATCH A HOME RUN TODAY. WHAT A MAROON, HUH? OUR TEAM DOESN'T HIT HOME RUNS!
<TMR> SERIOUSLY NEED TO PISS BRB
<tieboy> AMANDA HUGGENKISS? THAT'S NOT FUNNY
<spinn> BNNNNNG/G;S''''' FUCKING CAT
<TomtheFish> MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK
<tieboy> BLIPPETY BLOO
<SeanQ> IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU JUST PISSED AWAY $30
<CrazyClimber> PLEASE VISIT WWW.NOTMYDIAMONDVISION.COM
<tieboy> TRANSCRIPTS OF THIS DIAMONDVISION ARE AVAILABLE FOR $5
<spinn> IT WAS EITHER THIS OR THAT 2:30 MEETING WITH ACCOUNTING, SO OUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
<tieboy> LAST ONE OUT, PLEASE LOCK UP
<CrazyClimber> P-K4
<Samwise> WHAT THE NUTS
<TMR> ?H
<Mr-Ben> REMEMBER WHEN OUR TEAM DIDN'T SUCK SO MUCH? DIDN'T THINK SO.
<TomtheFish> YOU KNOW THAT SCENE IN TAXI DRIVER? THAT SCENE WHERE DINIRO IS TALKING TO THE MIRROR? THAT WAS SO COOL! "ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?" SCORSECE IS GOD!
<CrazyClimber> IF YOU LIVED HERE YOU'D BE HOME NOW... STOP BY THE COURTESY BOOTH FOR A BROCHURE
<spinn> I was trying to think of a way to work that in
<TomtheFish> HIT ANY KEY TO CONTINUE
<CrazyClimber> FOR TEN BUCKS I'LL SHOW TVLAND
<spinn> IF YOU LIVED HERE, YOU'D BE THE HOMELESS GUY INDER THE STANDS IN SECTION G
<tieboy> OAKLAND COLLESIUM WELCOMES THE PALSIED CHILDREN OF OAKLAND PUBLIC SCHOOL #27 LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM
<zompist> FATAL ERROR EXCEPTION AT 02FE:5BE0
<tieboy> ABORT/RETRY/RELOCATE TEAM
<TMR> FOR FIFTY I'LL SHOW THE SPICE CHANNEL
<SeanQ> AUGUST 23: EARLY PAROLEE NIGHT. LIMITED SEATING AVAILABLE
<spinn> ABORT/RETRY/FAIL, AND I ASSUME YOU GUYS WILL PICK "FAIL"
<wabewalkr> Heh. Reminds me of the time the BSOD visited the San Jose Tech Museum.
<tieboy> IS THERE SOMETHING IN MY TEETH?
<Mr-Ben> ROCKIN' GOOD THRASH METAL AFTER THE GAM...HEY, WHERE IS EVERYBODY GOING?!
<zompist> TODAY'S NATIONAL ANTHEM PERFORMERS: SPINAL TAP
<CrazyClimber> PAPER... YOU WIN
<TomtheFish> BATTER UP? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER! OH, I KILL ME.
<tieboy> THERE IS A GUN TO MY HEAD
<Mr-Ben> SOMEONE PLEASE BRING A CHANGE OF PANTS. I HAD, ER, A LITTLE ACCIDENT UP HERE...
<tieboy> SHIT, SOMEONE FORGOT TO MOW THE OUTFIELD.
<TMR> I JUST FILLED UP MY PANTS LIKE AN IDIOT AND I NEED PAPER TOWELS
*** babich is now known as Johny_mose
<SeanQ> THE MONKEY TAKES OVER THE DIAMONDVISION AND BROADCASTS 240,000 AOL PASSWORDS TO FANS IN OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA
<tieboy> FREE HUGS
<spinn> *@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@* THIS MESSAGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR LOCAL ELECTRIC COMPANY *@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*
<Mr-Ben> TONIGHT IS FREE DILDO NIGHT!
<Johny_mose> BIRD TO ANGE...BACK TO BIRD...HE FIDDLES...HE DIDDLES....OOOOOOOH MY GOD! MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!
<StanXhiao> DON'T LOOK UP HERE---YOU JUST PISSED ON YOUR SHOE
<tieboy> WCELOME TO JACQUI FORM CANDIA
<TomtheFish> TONIGHT: PROSTITUTE NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT: PENECILLAIN NIGHT
<SeanQ> LOST: ONE ATHELETIC SUPPORTER. IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN TO BULLPEN
<tieboy> DID ANYONE BRING AN EXTRA BALL?
<TMR> TO THE PEOPLE IN SECTION G: PASS THE DUTCHIE ON THE *LEFT* HAND SIDE
<zompist> HERE'S A GAME TO PLAY: THE BOYS KISS THE GIRLS ON THE STRIKES, AND THE GIRLS...
<tieboy> GET THAT CAT OUTTA HERE
<Mr-Ben> AT LEAST WE'RE NOT THE CUBS, FOLKS.
<StanXhiao> IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU ARE FOLLOWING TOO CLOSE
<SeanQ> MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL ASKS THAT SPITTING AND CROTCH-SCRATCHING BE CONFINED TO THE PLAYING FIRLD
<tieboy> HUF URF HUFF UFF URF URG HRRF URF UFF
<CrazyClimber> I'M THINKING OF A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 1,000,000
<TomtheFish> THE A'S WIN THE PENNANT! THE A'S WIN THE PEN... AW, JUST KIDDING, FOLKS
<Mr-Ben> OBJECTS ON THE DIAMONDVISION ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
<tieboy> JANIQUIA, WILL YOU MARRY ME? - DESHAWON
<TMR> CB
<StanXhiao> BY THE WOODY SPLINTER OF THE BABE HIMSELF, THIS IS ONE FUCKING BIG DIGIPET!
<tieboy> PLEASE STOP SHOOTING AT THE DIAMONDVISION
<Mr-Ben> CARE TO GUESS WHAT'S IN MY PANTS?!
<tieboy> PLEASE STOP SHOOTING AT THE DIAMONVISION OPERATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
<StanXhiao> MY MOTHER IS PLAYING THE ORGANNNN
<SeanQ> PUNCH THE MONKEY, WIN BIG PRIZES!!
<TomtheFish> ONE DIAMONDVISION TO RULE THEM ALL, ONE DIAMONDVISION TO BIND THEM
<StanXhiao> YELLOW ZONE CAPTIONS:
<TMR> SOMEBODY GET THIS FURIOUS MONKEY OFFA ME
<Mr-Ben> ONE LITTLE, TWO LITTLE, THREE LITTLE DIAMONDVISIONS...
<CrazyClimber> CAN SOMEONE WRITE ME A PRESCRIPTION?
<babich> TWO DIAMONDVISIONS ENTER...ONE DIAMOND VISION LEAVES!
* saint_go beats Tom senseless.
<saint_go> If you're going to butcher Tolkien, do it properly :)
<TomtheFish> tolkien? i thought it was bakshi
<Mr-Ben> DIAMONDVISION TALKS IN RHYME, EVERYONE STARTS TO WHINE.
<saint_go> bakshi?
<StanXhiao> ralph
<TMR> *LADYJ'S MPEG*
<tieboy> TONIGHT ON DIAMONDVISION: HANGIN' WITH MR. COOPER
<Mr-Ben> IT'S NOT HER MPEG, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE DON'T PANIC...
<CrazyClimber> CLICK HERE
<StanXhiao> Someone should just port this channel to DiamondVision.
<tieboy> NO LOOTING AFTER THE SIXTH INNING
<TomtheFish> FIRE YOUR BOSS! 7YDTEW
<CrazyClimber> <BLINK> NOW, LIKE, BLINK YOUR EYELIDS A FEW TIMES A MINUTE! COOL!
<Kyol> DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO HOOK UP A PLAYSTATION TO THIS THING?
<babich> OBJECTS APPEARING ON DIAMONDVISION ARE LIFE SIZE....WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THIS FUCKING THING
<Mr-Ben> W.W.J.D? HE'D PROBABLY STRIKE OUT WITH THE BASES LOADED, LIKE THE REST OF US DO!
<SeanQ> DON'T FORGET, BOTTOM OF THE FOURTH IS TOILET DUCK LUCKY URINAL CAKE TMIE!
<SeanQ> DOES THIS THING HVAE A SPELLCHEK?
<TomtheFish> YOU CAN ALSO HIRE ME TO HOP OUT OF THE CAKE AT YOUR NEXT BACHALOR PARTY
<Mr-Ben> CHECK OUT LETH'S DOCTORED PICTURES OF THE TEAM OWNERS AT...
<CrazyClimber> PLEASE RETURN FOR TOMORROW'S TRIBUTE TO PUNKY BREWSTER... TIX STILL AVAILABLE!
<spinn> I'M TYPING THESE FROM MY LAPTOP AT HOME...WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE
<TMR> I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU DIDN'T BET ON THE A'S
<TomtheFish> MIGUEL TEJADA STRIKEOUTS MAKE BABY JESUS CRY
<babich> TONIGHT...ON A VERY SPECIAL DIAMONDVISION
<tieboy> IF YOU TELL TEN FRIENDS ABOUT THE DIAMONDVISION BILL GATES WILL GIVE YOU A FREE COMPUTER
<tieboy> LOOK, I CAN MAKE THE PLAYERS LOOK GREEN
<SeanQ> NOW PITCHING FOR THE A'S: JASON ISRINKHAU... ISINGHOUSER.... DAMNIT, JUST PUT IN DOUG JONES!!!
<spinn> YOU KNOW I CAN GET PAID $65K A YEAR FOR THIS IN JAPAN
<tieboy> CAN YOU MOVE THE RABBIT EARS A LITTLE... TO THE LEFT... THERE! NO, BACK A BIT..
<CrazyClimber> PLEASE VISIT WWW.DANCINGSALFASANO.COM
<babich> IM SHOWING YOU PEOPLE UPN, BUT I CAN FEEL THE SKINAMAX SIGNAL ON MY ASS
<ristoril> WOULD THE COUPLE IN THE GRANDSTANDS BEHIND 3RD PLEASE TURN A BIT TO YOUR LEFT
<tieboy> NOW ASKING FOR VOLUNTEERS TO BE THE LEFT FIELD FOUL POLE
<TomtheFish> MY OTHER DIAMONDVISION IS THE MARQUEE ON MY PC
<TMR> NOT YOU, MISTER MAJINSKI
<SeanQ> PEPPER SPRAY IS PROHIBITED
<spinn> LOADING JAVA...
<tieboy> PLEASE REFRAIN FROM MUGGING THE PLAYERS UNTIL THEY RETURN TO THE DUGOUT
<StanXhiao> AM I HOT OR NOT? VOTE NOW!
<TomtheFish> IF YOU BLOW THAT BOAT HORN ONE MORE TIME, IT'S GOING UP YOUR ASS
<tieboy> YOU SEEN THIS SCHUMIN GUY?
<CrazyClimber> SHOULD WE SIGN GARTH BROOKS? o YES o NO
<tieboy> BRAINSHOTS
<StanXhiao> WELCOME TO REBECALIST!
<TomtheFish> GIAMBI NO BAKA!!!!
<tieboy> CONNECTION RESET BY PEER
<TMR> FUCK THE GAME, I'M WATCHING TENCHI.
<CrazyClimber> LET'S DO LUNCH
<TomtheFish> HAVE YOU SEEN THE DPI ON SF'S DIAMONDVISION? RRROOOOWWRRRR!
*** LimePi (LimePi@AC8517A2.ipt.aol.com) has joined channel #spinnwebe
<spinn> WOW, YOU SHOULD SEE THESE ROLLERSKATING COMPETITIONS ON ESPN4
<tieboy> WELL, IT'S A BIG DISCOLORED BOIL. OOPS, WWS
<TomtheFish> BRB. DIRTSNAKE.
<StanXhiao> I'M THE DOT DOT LADY!!!
<SeanQ> THIS CALL TO THE BULLPEN WAS SPONSORED BY AT&T, UNTIL WE GOT SLAMMED BY SPRINT
<CrazyClimber> I WAHHHHHNNNNNT YOUR BAAAAAHHHHHHHD
<tieboy> WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR PARACHUTE PANTS?
<spinn> DON'T YOU HAVE CABLE, YOU MORONS? THERE GOTTA BE SOME HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME ON SOMEWHERE
<TomtheFish> WHO STOLE MY CHEESE?
<StanXhiao> 1 LB WONDER, CHEESE, CELERY, 1 DOZ ENTENMANN'S CHOC., MILK, EGGS, TAMPON EASY-GLIDERS, VIRGINIA SLIMS
<tieboy> MEN ARE FROM MARS, BITCHES BE FROM MLK AVENUE
<LimePi> WATCH GUNTHER PULL A JAPANESE COMMUTER TRAIN WITH HIS SCROTUM ON WORLDS STRONGEST MEN 34543
<spinn> okay, tie's running out of ideas, so I think we've sucked this dry
<CrazyClimber> HEY! STOP THAT OR I'LL PUT YOU IN THE TIME-OUT BLEACHERS
<TomtheFish> WE'RE STILL BETTER THAN THE PADRES!
<babich> GIVE ME A MILLION DOLLARS OR I'LL POKE'MON ON YOUR ASS [FLASH] FLASH [FLASH] FLASH
<StanXhiao> MY DAY JOB IS THE YELLING GUY ON "DILBERT"
<TMR> AAAAAAAAAAAAH. THE ATMOSPHERE.
<CrazyClimber> I'VE BEEN "FIXED," IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
<ristoril> HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN? OH WAIT, THAT'S OMAR
<LimePi> uhhh... someone want to tell me what the topic is?
<ristoril> POOP
<babich> WHITE PEOPLE DANCE LIKE THIS....BLACK PEOPLE DANCE LIKE THIS!
<Samwise> JESUS, LOOK HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WRITING STUPID CRAP UP HERE
<spinn> HAR HAR HAR URK URK URK
<StanXhiao> OK, EVERYONE SING ALONG: "COME LISTEN TO A STORY 'BOUT A MAN NAME JED..."
<ristoril> POOP KEEPS THIS DIAMONDVISION WHERE IT IS
<TomtheFish> MOOSE BITES CAN BE REALLY NASTY
<CrazyClimber> WE'RE NOW TAKING REQUESTS
<TMR> FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP
<TomtheFish> HONK HONK! NOT GIVING A SHIT!
<ristoril> BOY AM I NOT SPANKING IT RIGHT NOW
<StanXhiao> MAN, CHECK OUT THIS FAT PIG: http://www.amihotornot.com/r/?eid=KZN8KZ&key=JRV
<TMR> INVISIBLE CARS FOLKS
<Samwise> MY OTHER SCREEN IS A 23" FLATSCREEN
<spinn> DON'T EAT THE BROWN ACID
<LimePi> PLEASE PASS THE SUICIDE
<StanXhiao> ALL CATHOLIC GIRLS SHOW ME YOUR PANTIES NOW
<CrazyClimber> THERE REALLY AREN'T ANY DIAMONDS ON THIS SCREEN
<LimePi> ALL BAD GIRLS GET BRIGHT RED SPANKINGS
<Samwise> NO SORRY. I WANT A VIRGIN RIGHT NOW, OR IT'S "FULL HOUSE" ALL AFTERNOON
<StanXhiao> WHICH ONE ON "FACTS OF LIFE" WAS YOUR FAVORITE?
<StanXhiao> /NAMES #STADIUM
<Samwise> DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES?
<ristoril> IS IT SAFE?
<LimePi> WAZZZZZUUUPPPPPPPP?!!!?!?@?!


Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
I want to submit a log!