"pull up! lore, PULL UP!!"
<Lore> Jacqui: Why are your shoes only gritty on one side?
<jacquilyn> Lore: my shoes are gritty?
<CrazyClimber> in the "film noir" sense?
<Lore> Your curling shoes.
<Lore> They're, um, like, not slippery on one side.
<Lore> And extra-slippery on the other.
<jacquilyn> Oh, hrmm, gritty isn't the word I'd used.
<jacquilyn> Grippy, maye.
<Gayo> I don't understand curling. It's like some sort of futuristic sport you'd see them playing in 70's Sci-fi.
<Lore> What's that in aid of?
<CrazyClimber> maybe only hardboiled private dicks can wear them.
<jacquilyn> I think I explained this before but anyway:
<spinn> you have to scoot along with the thing they slide
<jacquilyn> There are two things you do when you curl, throw and sweep.
<spinn> you never saw curling, lore?
<jacquilyn> When you throw, you have one side slippery because you have to slide on that foot.
<Lore> I've SEEN curling.
<Lore> I've WITNESSED curling.
<tieboy> and you, sir, are no curling
<jacquilyn> And it carries all your weight, so the slippery is necessary for decreased friction.
<Elkman> Not the kind where you put hair in rollers, Lore.
<spinn> oh. well the people who scoot along with the rock have to be able to move, and slide
<jacquilyn> The other side may be slippery or grippy as you prefer.
<Lore> I see. Thank you.
<jacquilyn> I prefer grippy so as not to fall on my ass and injure myself.
<Lore> You have helped me with the curling-grok.
<Elkman> Actually, it's called a curling "stone", not a grok.
<zompist> the curling grok? is that legal in north carolina?
<jacquilyn> When you sweep, you require traction with one foot to allow yourself to get teh kind of pressure you need on the broom.
<jacquilyn> The other foot may be grippy or slippery, as you prefer.
<spinn> and the stick is so you can balance the spinning plate.
<tieboy> i'd only watch curling if millionaires played it
<Gayo> Hey. Hey. And you know those curlers? What's up with THAT, eh? *hold for laughs*
<Lore> So the shoes themselves aren't divided lengthwise.
<Lore> You have one of each. If you want.
<jacquilyn> I prefer grippy so as not to fall on my ass and injure myself.
<tieboy> why do you prefer grippy again?
<jacquilyn> s, when I throw, I have one slippery and one grippy.
<jacquilyn> But when I sweep, I have two grippies.
<Lore> So you like to have as few slippery soles as is reasonable for your role.
<jacquilyn> Other people are always on one of each.
<rJak> Are you talking about brooms or ski poles?
<Gayo> A little from column A, a little from column B.
<jacquilyn> and still other peole who have far mor ability to stand up thatn I do, use two slipperies all teh time.
<jacquilyn> But that's generally just skips who don't need traction for sweeping as the lazy ass bums don't have to sweep.
<tieboy> urg. just had a flashback of this girl i used to date who wouldn't take off her slippers when we had sex
<Lore> You had me up to the "skips."
<Lore> What's a skip?
<CrazyClimber> they just throw themselves around randomly?
<Lore> Tie: That''s kind of hot.
<Gayo> Maybe her feet get cold.
<zompist> is this the same girl who e-mailed you...?
<Lore> Tell me more.
<jacquilyn> The skip is the team captain. They stand at the end of teh ice and provide soemthing for the person throwing hte rock to aim at.
<Lore> What..what kind of slippers?
<tieboy> they were really old worn slippers
<zompist> did she have hideous feet?
<tieboy> no, she had really nice feet
<spinn> if they were smurf slippers, we're on the threshhold of a serious epiphany here
<jacquilyn> But because they are too busy actng as a target, tehy don't have to do any of the ahrd work involved in chasing a rock down the ice and sweeping madly.
<tieboy> maybe she was afraid I'd injure her ass.
<Lore> On the plus side, though, you get to try and hit them with rocks.
<spinn> bet she wouldn't put down the martini, either
<Elkman> Are you implying that tieboy's ex-girlfriend died on a tuft of grass?
<rJak> She put her slippers on her ass?
<Elkman> a TUFT... of GRASS?
<jacquilyn> Well, yeah, but mostly they move sometime in the 12-14 seconds it takes for the rock to get down teh ice.
<rJak> Dude, were you drunk?
<zompist> if you get her drunk enough, she won't care about her slippers
<Lore> I'd make them stay. It's the least they can do.
<Lore> Beer on liquor, take off your damn slippers
<Gayo> If that rhymed, it'd be a good menmonic device.
<tieboy> liquor on beer, keep the footgear
<Gayo> There you go.
<jacquilyn> Hell, we consider it a good week if our skip bothers to show up at all.
<rJak> Put the footgear on the ass and shack up.
<zompist> or is it feets on the ground, keep her shod?
<Lore> Put the footgear on the ass, AND shack up!
<Lore> Yeah, it's hard to aim at someone who's not there.
<jacquilyn> Yeah, and our vice doesn't know where to stand for us to aim at her.
<jacquilyn> I mean, she does an okay job of beinga target, I suppose, but really, Jordan's better at it.
<jacquilyn> Which would, fo course, explain why he's the regular skip and she's not.
<Gayo> Why do you need to aim at a person?
<jacquilyn> You don't, actulaly, you aim at their broom.
<zompist> you're just snowing us with jargon
<jacquilyn> And the skips job is to call teh strategy of teh game.
<zompist> i bet you just go ice skating and throw snowballs
<tieboy> remember when curlers used to play just for the love of sweeping ice?
<raven> You have a vice skip? Are skips often assassinated?
<rJak> Jaqui, do fights break out regularly in curling?
<Lore> Apparently they just fail to show up.
<jacquilyn> So he decides what kind of shot you want to make (take out, gaurd, draw, peel, raise, etc, etc) and then figures out what the lateral movement is liekly to be.
<rJak> I mean, do they have stuff like high sticking or boarding or that crap?
<spinn> I suppose there was some smart canadian who decided they needed some respectability, so he invented some funky looking sport with arcane and convoluted rules
<jacquilyn> So he gives you a target and a handle to throw that should put hte rock where he wants it.
<rJak> Hey, remember lacrosse was their national sport for a while.
* Lore starts to get dizzy.
<jacquilyn> Assuming the person who is throwing it has more talent than me.
<jacquilyn> Lacrosse is still our national sport.
<tieboy> Canada: We make cricket look comprehensible
<jacquilyn> And the Scots invented curling, not hte Canadians.
* Lore takes a deep breath.
<rJak> Then they dropped it for hockey kos Lacrosse was "too violent".
<Lore> What's this strategy in response to?
<spinn> yeah, but scots played it on hills and grass
<zompist> sudden nuclear death
<Lore> I mean, what would make you change your strategy?
<spinn> basically they just threw rocks at each other
<rJak> I know cricket. You just have a bat and you try not to let the ball hit you.
<spinn> a fine tradition which they carry on to this day
<zompist> isn't that golf?
<Lore> The Scots invented some funky-ass games.
<spinn> part of the same concept
<tieboy> I think golf should be played in real-time
<jacquilyn> Well, if there's a number of rocks onthe ice, you have to decide which ones you want to hit (which ones you even can possibly hit given teh laws of physics).
<zompist> you're trying to tell me that the scots invented TWO Games?
<rJak> Caber tossing. Now THAT'S a sport!
<zompist> but they're so dour!
<tieboy> none of this turn based shit
<spinn> just, with golf, they use a stick to throw rocks at each other
<rJak> Men in skirts throwing trees. That rocks.
<Lore> If someone went back in time and gave them one of those rubber balls used in schoolyards, the world would be very different.
<jacquilyn> The end results being you want to be closer to teh middle of teh rings at teh end of the end.
<tieboy> or men in trees, throwing skirts
<spinn> actually came out of early scottish tactical weapon deployment trials
<jacquilyn> Usually - unless you'd be scoring one and giving up the hamer.
<jacquilyn> In whicih case, maybe you don't want to be if you could just blank the end.
<Lore> Okay. I'm more ignorant than I thought.
<zompist> "angus, a hae an ideer, let's thrae some rocks aroond. an if ye plaise, get off ma foot"
<Lore> I guess, by definition.
<spinn> so how many toolsheds do you need to store all the curling paraphenalia?
<Lore> If I don't know how ignorant I am, I'm more ignorant than I thought.
<Gayo> Now you're just making this up.
<jacquilyn> What parapheneia?
<tieboy> brooms, wickets, googlies, stones
<Lore> Unless I took my meta-ignorance into account when calculating my ignorance.
<Elkman> Roach clips, bongs, and lighters.
<spinn> rocks and hammers and brushes and brooms and six different sets of footwear and the stick to balance the spinning plate and such
<CrazyClimber> is that metric toolsheds?
<jacquilyn> It even provides brooms if you're too cheap to buy one (or don't want to have to carry it on the bus, like me).
<Lore> In which case I might be right by a lucky guess.
<zompist> vices, skips, whooshes, becks, fribbles, and lores
<Gayo> Yay, Pokemon cards promote zionism.
<jacquilyn> The paraphenelia I hvae is a slider that fits in my coat pocket.
<Lore> But then you'd be wrong.
<jacquilyn> Other people have brooms, some have special shoes.
<spinn> I have to tell my dad I know someone who curls
<Lore> Because you WOULD know how ignorant you are, which you thought you weren't.
<jacquilyn> But really , it doesn't take any more equipment than bowling and housework.
<spinn> you should show up with a caddy with a golf bag full of numbered brooms
<Lore> So you have to adjust your ignorance levels upwards if you guessed right.
<jacquilyn> Actually, you only think that's funny, spinn, because you don't know that teams often use different types of brooms depending on ice.
<tieboy> pine tar
* zompist tries to guess how many converstaions are going on at once
<jacquilyn> And they also will use different brooms for balance than they do for sweeping.
<rJak> Combine them.
<spinn> who makes an elaborate production out of taking the surface temperature of the area at marked-off grid points
<Lore> Perhaps it would just be best to define the ignorance spec in a non-recusive manner.
<rJak> Scottish people hitting each other with brooms.
<spinn> zomp, yeah, I was enjoying watching lore go on about ignorance
<zompist> i thought lore was in the curling one, but now he's streaking out skyward
<zompist> no landing in sight
<spinn> "pull up! lore, PULL UP!!"
<tieboy> you should point to the spot on the ice you want the rock to go, a la Babe Ruth
* Elkman moves a bed around and hopes Lore will land on it
<jacquilyn> They do that, tie.
<rJak> Okay, Lore hitting Scottish people with brooms.
<spinn> lore in a helmet with little lightning bolts and a Tina airbrushed on front
<Lore> Or perhaps ignrance needs to have some sort of Planck-like limit to how closely it can be measured.
<tieboy> they do? wow.
<Lore> But if that's so, then everyone who hasn't realized that is, by definition, more ignorant than they thought.
*** SIGNOFF: Mr-Ben (Ping timeout)
<spinn> I think we've lost him
<zompist> do they appear on wheaties boxes though?
<jacquilyn> Yeah, the skip shows you where he wants it to go, otherwise you don't know what weight to throw or what the goal of your shot is.
<Elkman> Actually, I think ignorance would probably be unmeasurable, like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.
<spinn> maybe we can get a message to him. anyone want to approach his tangent at intercept vector?
<zompist> oh lord, we've lost two of them now
<Lore> What the hell are you talking about, Elkman?
<tieboy> that was some set-up
<Lore> Anyhow. I need dinner.
*** Lore is now known as LoreIdle
<spinn> oh damn
<spinn> ca't see
<spinn> okay breathe okay breathe
<rJak> Get the cat off of your face, Spinn.
<tieboy> *can't* see
<zompist> *spinn* can't see
<spinn> that's about the sixth time today I've lost it
<spinn> the "anyhow, dinner" was like *BAM* landing
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