Christables: Kosher salami, wafers, and a squeezy box of holy water


*** spinn has joined
<spinn> and also unto you
<spinn> geez, even a catholic church would mumble a little at this point
<Kyol> and also with you.
<Kyol> We had a.. Unique.. Wedding on Saturday. Episcopalian or something. Nobody really knew what the fuck to say.
<Kyol> "Peace be with you." "And also with you" (yay, knew that one) "*something else*" "*crowd falls silent.*"
<spinn> heh
<Kyol> But apparently they used the new brand of Chewy Jesus, because people got to pick jesus out of their teeth for a while afterwards.
<Kyol> (which was also.. _odd_. To take communion (or whatever) all you had to do was be _baptized_. Not confirmed, not anything else. Just have had your head dunked at one point.)
<CrazyClimber> last funeral i went to, the priest resorted to giving us hand signals
<Leth> Bob, "flipping you off" is not really giving hand signals, he just doesn't like you
<CrazyClimber> aw
<CrazyClimber> plus, no million-dollar payoff
<Kyol> Also it was nice that they seated the heathens in their own section, made communion go much faster.
<Kyol> Aside from a small cluster of people at the front of our side I think 2 people went up.
<Leth> so was this a pro-fag Episcopal church, or anti-fag
<Kyol> Never stated their position.
<Samwise> Kyol: I was in a wedding at an episcopal church. Really cool about the communion thing - take it, if you want it... we got plenty. But no pressure.
<CrazyClimber> you went back for seconds?
<CrazyClimber> oh, the "we" confused me
<CrazyClimber> not enough coffee in the world this morning.
<Kyol> Well, y'know, that seemed kinda cool about it, yeah.
<Kyol> "Hi, yeah. Are you born again in christ? I mean, at _all_? C'mon up and have some then. We aren't fussy about you believing our church's specific belief set or anything."
<zompist> episcopalians are pretty mellow for a church
<Kyol> Are they the only Catholic-lites out there?
<zompist> in this country, i think so
<CrazyClimber> voodoo's kinda catholic, i thought?
<Kyol> Coz I get the CoE, Episcopals and someone else mixed up.
<Kyol> Anglicans, that's it.
<Leth> um
<zompist> episcopals *are* anglicans
<Kyol> Yeah.
<Kyol> Thus my confusion.
<zompist> couldn't call themselves "church of england" after we kicked the bloody brits out, y'know
<Leth> Aren't Lutherans or one of those groups kindof Catholic-y too? I'll admit I don't follow the pagans too closely
<Kyol> Nah. They don't believe in. Um.
<Kyol> Wait, give me a second...
<Kyol> Oh yeah. Saints!
<Kyol> Oh, shit, that's not it.
<zompist> compared to your bible thumpers, yeah. they build big gothic churches and wear robes and shit.
<Kyol> I'm not entirely clear on the difference between Wisconsin and Missouri synod lutherans, for that matter.
<zompist> which side their granddaddies took in the civil war, probably
<Leth> but they have a communion-type service, right?
<Leth> as opposed to Baptists, who just jump around a lot
<Kyol> Oh yeah.
<Kyol> I think there's a slight difference in the fire and brimstone-ness between WELS and Missouri Synod, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
<Leth> try taking it out of Bruce's ass first
<zompist> fwiw: baptists have communion too, but rarely-- once a month or twice a year, depending on the congregation
<Leth> still, a lot of jumping around
<zompist> and when they do, it's grape juice, because wine is satanic
<Leth> that's what he turned the water into at Canaan anyhow
<CrazyClimber> do the snakes get to eat the wafers too?
<Leth> "wine" is just a euphemism for juice
<raven> Kyol : Er, Catholics don't require you to be confirmed to take communion....
<zompist> you're not supposed to be a schismatic tho'
<zompist> unless they've changed the rules since the time i was dating a catholic
<raven> Oh, er, okay....
<raven> CAKE!
<Kyol> Ah well, this was the first time that I heard it announced like "come on down and get some jesus!"
<raven> Heh.
<raven> Catholics do require you to go to First Communion, though. You can't just wing it.
<Kyol> Imagine my horror, at my grandmother's funeral, being a pallbearer and thus seated in the first pew.
<Kyol> The priest motioned for us, we stood up and came to the rail OH CHRIST IT'S JESUS TIME.
<CrazyClimber> back... yeah, we were told that if we didn't consider ourselves part of the church anymore, we shouldn't go up.
<CrazyClimber> so along with the whole "haven't been to confession since 1973" thing, we just stayed tactfully seated.
<zompist> if they're serving wafers, you're not missing anything
<zompist> gnaw on a styrofoam cup and you'll get the same experience
<CrazyClimber> yeah, didn't really figure the recipe had changed much.
<CrazyClimber> actually, my aunt still does the unleavened-wafer thing at christmas anyway, so i figure it's more or less the same, without the transubstantiation.
<zompist> they're not just unleavened, they're kind of plasticized
<zompist> matzot are unleavened, but they taste like something made of actual plant ingredient material
<CrazyClimber> yeah -- those things she gets are usually embossed with a scene
<CrazyClimber> and have the feel and look of a playing card, and about the taste too
<Samwise> I heard about a friend of mine, who, when she first took communion, put the wafer in her mouth and chewed it up. Duh, what does "eat of it" mean to these people? They threw a major hissyfit
<zompist> you're also not allowed to add a spread. i found that out the hard way
<CrazyClimber> yeah, no dipping jesus
<Samwise> jeez-its
<tieboy> Christ, now with the great taste of bacon
<tieboy> I've got a fervor for the flavor of a Messiah
<zompist> yum, blood-flavored wine
<Samwise> Try an entire bowl with milk - Christ Chex
<zompist> good for communion *and* gothery
<CrazyClimber> PB&Jesus
<tieboy> Baked in a hollow tree by Jesuits: J.H.Christs
* raven returns from lunch. And we used to spread honey on oplatke at Christmas, so you can use spreads. Maybe not onion dip, but....
<tieboy> Christables
<tieboy> Kosher salami, wafers, and a squeezy box of holy water

Heather Garvey / Raven /
I want to submit a log!