"Do you take this woman as your YEEEAGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING ON YOUR HEAD?!?

SWHC



<Lore> Ready for more fun?
<Lore> http://www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/images/galactic2.jpg
<Elkman> Lore: Not yet. Could you give me a few... nevermind.
<ReallySickQ> Aims: Was there anything in that 'geek love' book like that picture?
<maime-o-k> god, that makes me sad.
<SoiledGreen> that makes me.
<SoiledGreen> Laugh.
<ReallySickQ> Yea, when your best man is a cardboard cut-out of Worf, it's time to re-evaluate life styles...
<raven> "And here are some photos of everyone who came to celebrate our love...."
<maime-o-k> I bet mr man wouldn't have needed to leave the tv on that evening if we had gone to vegas and had a star trek wedding.
<SoiledGreen> nah, he'd have pokemon cut-outs.
<Lore> Actually, his best man was Picard: http://www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/images/galactic5.jpg
<ReallySickQ> "Oh janeway.. I mean aimee... oops..."
<spinn> that would be just like him
<spinn> oh god
<maime-o-k> that makes me cry.
<spinn> cutout star trek...figures...in your...wedding...
<ReallySickQ> "I don't remember those middle two from any show, were they the ones killed off in the first five minutes?"
<spinn> blluurrrGGAARGAHRGA
<maime-o-k> Everyone knows some drunk dressed up like Elvis is a better way to go.
<zompist> huh. tough question: is this geekier than mr. peldor?
<spinn> man, I need to clean this up. thanks, lore
<raven> um, yeah, I think so, zomp./
<ReallySickQ> Yea, Elvis weddings kick Star Trek weddings' ass!
<Lore> Well, there's a realaudio on the site of "Austin Powers Wedding With Special Guest Elvis" but I can't get it to load.
<zompist> i mean, it *is* star trek
<Lore> Thene there's Camelot: http://www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/images/camelot4.jpg
<raven> This takes it out of hobby-land and into "This is all I have in my life." land.
<Elkman> Hmm. The Peldor guy has a many-years-running obsession. This looks like just one day.
<SoiledGreen> i wonder what in the FUCK POSESSED THIS WOMAN, to marry him.
<zompist> gog, galactic5 is hilarious
<raven> hey, she's the one with Deanna Troi as a maid of honor.
<raven> AAAHHHH! http://www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/images/galactic3.jpg
<Lore> Never let your mid of honor show more cleavage than you.
<Lore> Yeah. Um. The other guy is the minister.
<ReallySickQ> I don't know, getting married by Merlin may be odd in an interesting way. Specially if you get him to recite your own vows: "Maw-ige. Maw-ige iz wat rings us togetha!"
<maime-o-k> that's why you put bridesmaids in the ugliest dresses possible.
<SoiledGreen> nice hat, that pointy one.
<raven> It's sad when you have a photographer and probably a cleaning woman as your witnesses.
* PyroP twitches
<Lore> And for the Larpers among us: http://www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/images/graveyard5.jpg
<ReallySickQ> Wait, is the bride and groom cutboard cutouts?
<ReallySickQ> those are some classy wedding sandals, dude
<spinn> yeah, I was just thinking, that groom looks like a cutout
<maime-o-k> sandals?
<Lore> I think I'm going to move the Las Vegas and invent the self-annulling wedding.
<SoiledGreen> <maime-o-k> wow I didn't know they had a "sell your soul to satan and get married" wedding package.
<ReallySickQ> Yea, aims, not too many self-respecting vampires will wear sandles, especially to their weddings
<SeanQ> lore: would that be like a parachute wedding, falling out of an airplane, only without the parachutes?
<SoiledGreen> like a shotgun wedding with an uzi.
<spinn> wait a minute...that's kirk standing next to the ferengi! the federation didn't evne /know/ about the ferengi when kirk was captian!
<SeanQ> man, next time my wife complains about how her hair looked inour wedding portraits, i'm gonna show here these pics
<Lore> I was wondering who was going to point that out.
<spinn> shit.
<Lore> Anyhow, they do have Elvis weddings: http://www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/images/rockroll3.jpg
<SeanQ> and I stil can't figure out what is more astounding: that they have Star Trek cutouts at the wedding, or that he found a bride in the first place
<maime-o-k> Here, we just pay $3 for the church of elvis wedding
<SeanQ> she doesn't look like a Ukranian mail-order, either
<raven> Apparently, Elvis is marrying a man and his granddaughter. How sweet.
<maime-o-k> Woah. that was a mail order bride.
<ReallySickQ> What if you request a rarer custom wedding?
<ReallySickQ> Like a Church of the Subgenious wedding?
<maime-o-k> what's a slack wedding like?
<Lore> I'm guessing they'll accomodate you for the right amount of money.
<SeanQ> "Dude.. uh, ya think?" "Eh... whatever"
<ReallySickQ> you get married by bob
<spinn> sean, we're off the pandar thing now
<Elkman> Could they do a Family Circus wedding?
<SeanQ> spinn: slack wedding
<maime-o-k> what fun would a family circus wedding be without uncle roy?
<ReallySickQ> You'd need giant cutouts of the FC bunch
<Lore> Yeah, really.
<Samwise> And you'd need something - putty, probably - to hold them in place.
<Lore> That seems to be the formula.
<maime-o-k> they'd need some serious reinforcing. being so top heavy.
<ReallySickQ> and maybe a realdoll Thel
<Lore> Take one cheap-ass wedding, add cutouts.
<spinn> sean: yeah, humor! ar ar!
<maime-o-k> I want to get married by Elvis in Vegas.
<Lore> Or stupid vampire suit.
<maime-o-k> I will wear a red sequined cocktail dress.
<spinn> 'cos nothing says "memories you will cherish for the rest of your life" like cutouts of Shatner and Nimoy on your wedding altar
<ReallySickQ> no, if you get married by elvis, you need to be dressed like Marylin monroe, and the groom has to be James Dean... you need the whole Boulevard of Broken Dreams wedding set
<Lore> At any rate, "Star Trek: The Experience" casino also does weddings, and I imagine they're better.
<maime-o-k> unless they can get Wayne Newton
<Samwise> Oooooooo... Wayne Newton...
<jacquilyn> o/~ She didn't want to have no white dress wedding. Been there before - look where that led. Couldn't take thatkidn of pain again. So this time around, the bride wore red o/~
<Lore> You can, I might add, mix and match.
<ReallySickQ> Lore: they're probably conducted in Klingon
<Lore> If you want Elvis AND Kirk, it's an extra hundred.
<Samwise> Elvis *AND* Nimoy?
<maime-o-k> I would do that but James Dean is probably already decomposed.
<maime-o-k> not that I have anything against corpses.
<Samwise> Especially in red jackets.
<ReallySickQ> well, he could dress like James Dean
<Lore> "You're tearing me apart!"
<maime-o-k> Ohhhh. nevermind then.
<maime-o-k> is the back on the white marilyn dress low cut enough for my tattoo to show?
<spinn> man.
<Lore> Or maybe I'll just have a Mars 2112 wedding.
<spinn> I'm sure that somewhere there has been a wedding entirely in klingon
<Lore> And W-T Pi can be the flower girl.
<spinn> probably several
<Lore> Q-T Pi, I mean.
<spinn> dunno whether to laugh or cry
<ReallySickQ> I can't think of anything more sad that a cutout-star trek wedding...
<SeanQ> or shoot the place up with an uzi
<Samwise> Heh. Can you imagine the type of person who'd get a babylon5 wedding?
<spinn> baha, lore. so should the minister be the scientist guy, or the martian doing the news?
<raven> well, if I could marry Michael O'Hare, maybe....
<spinn> bride and groom looking at each other. "uh, okay, are we married now?"
<SeanQ> now a Simpsons wedding could be cool... with Reverend Lovejoy
<Lore> Okay, if you go to http://www.startrekexp.com/ and hit "Weddings" you'll see a slightly less loathsome option.
<raven> especially since the blue chick had that really polite "fuck you" look on her face the whole time.
<Lore> You still only get two guys in costume, though.
<ReallySickQ> Unless one of those Ice Capades things is in town and you get a whole bunch of ice-skated smurfs or scooby doo to preside...
<spinn> oh yeah, quark. that was his name.
<Lore> I'm sorry, for two grand I want an entire bridge crew.


<Elkman> Ready for even more wedding pictures? http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/the_bride_wore.html
<raven> hey, i have a dress with sleeves bigger than my head!
<raven> and it's peach, too. extra torture.
<Elkman> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/pillows.html
<ReallySickQ> From the 'Arghh! It's eating my BRAINS!' file: http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/swat.html
<Elkman> Why would someone want two big pillows on her rear end like that?
<ReallySickQ> ..when there's fried chicken available
<SeanQ> Elk: for the honeymoon?
<Lore> "Intergalactic floral bouquet." That must be expensive given the paucity of flowers between galaxies.
<Elkman> Yeah, I suppose, if you're trying to wrap it up like a present.
<CrazyClimber> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/showercurtain.html <- wow
<ReallySickQ> CC: maybe she has a thing for aluminum and clear plastic wrap?
<Elkman> I'm surprised there aren't little stickers of fish pasted on there.
<CrazyClimber> she should keep it in the bondage clubs where it belongs.
<raven> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/dual_use.html - the index pages have amusing comments, too.
<ReallySickQ> from the 'I can say "I do" just by thinking it' file: http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/funnygirl.html
<Elkman> Q: Or the "I'm so smart, my brains are pulsating out of my head" file.
<Elkman> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/bottlebrush.html -- for when you can't find your Q-tips.
<raven> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/marsattacks.html
<raven> Beehive By NASA.
<raven> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/speak.html <- Wedding Beyond Thunderdome.
<Elkman> You could probably pick up radio stations on that thing.
<ReallySickQ> rave (1st pic): "All shall bow before the might of galactic queen galactica!"
<raven> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/satellite.html <- "I can pick up HBO on this!"
<ReallySickQ> rave: heh: Welcome to The Cell II
<spinn> look out! she's about to spray!
<raven> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/blood.html <-- "She was so lovely, we had her bronzed!"
<Elkman> She almost looks like a Christmas ornament.
<ReallySickQ> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/powerlunch.html <--- "Let's see, meeting with clients at 4:00, Wedding at 4:45, Power lunch at 5:15...."
<raven> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/kungfu.html <-- "I call forth the Powers of Grayskull!"
<spinn> I am mary johnson, temp at Linens 'n Things corporate, until I raised aloft my bony anorexic hand and said...
<ReallySickQ> I don't know, rave.. a Wedding Dress of Lightning +4 seems like a handy item on the honeymoon..
<spinn> really
<Elkman> "I'm walking on the brains of my vanquished enemies!"
<raven> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/tippi.html <-- "AAAAGAGGGGHHH! AAAAAAAHHH! GET'EMOFF, GET'EMOFF, GET'EMOFFGET'EMOFFGET'EMOFFGET'EMOFF!
<Leth> bahaha
<spinn> bahah
<ReallySickQ> hahaha
<spinn> that's, uh.
<spinn> that's
<spinn> okay there's just nothing I can add to that
<Leth> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/baby.html <--- Should this really be a WHITE dress?
<Elkman> Someone's going to walk in while I'm giggling. I just know it.
<ReallySickQ> "Jonathan Livingston Seagull's in my cleavage!!"
<SeanQ> if you're marrying Hitchcock
<spinn> whoa there's robbing the cradle
<ReallySickQ> That way during the wedding, the baby can feed itself!
<spinn> "you may now give da groom is bottle, oh yes you /can/
<Elkman> "Tickle tickle tickle! Haha!"
<spinn> "you may now--dear Lord, forgive me--kiss the bride."
<raven> from the "Dear wedding lady, my butt isn't big enough..." page : http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/supertrain.html
<ReallySickQ> Looks like the groom swallowed the ring again
<ReallySickQ> rave, she's just wearing the liquid terminator 1000
<Elkman> "Help me! I'm melting!"
<ReallySickQ> What is white, has six eyes, and like butts? ---> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/runrun.html
<Elkman> (By the way, this guy's page is the second most popular page on visi.com. He got 19170 accesses yesterday.)
*** Signoff: SeanQ (Quit: "Do you take this woman as your YEEEAGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING ON YOUR HEAD?!?Q)
<ReallySickQ> "So you're marrying a dryad..." --> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/champion.html
<ReallySickQ> Is she levetating!? -> http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/lawrence.html


Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
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