"We keep your vending machines fully stocked with Twinkies"
<Agent_Orange> from POE: http://www.techwrite.net/companysongs.html
<Agent_Orange> dig that def rap glossary, G!
<Agent_Orange> Poppin' it : Workin' it. Business development be poppin' it, brutha. To the max!"
<Agent_Orange> Yo: Rappers accross the world use this word. Its precise meaning is vague, but the rule
<Agent_Orange> is it must be used several times in each sentence. "Yo, what be up with that, yo?"
<Lots42> Wal-Mart commercials show employee cheer sessions as a good thing instead of the soul destroying horror that they are
<SoiledGreen> damn, yo! why you be actin' likes you gotta problum ah sumfin!
<Agent_Orange> what'll those crazy jigaboos think up next!?
<Elkman> x from rap Our crew is hot, def, dope and fly.
<SoiledGreen> damn, foo, i gots some maaad html skillz, yo!
<Samwise> White folks be sayin' shit real fast, like they don't want no one to hear 'em. But when somethin' get a brother down... sheeeeeiiiiiiit.
<Agent_Orange> great. the video is called "Movie.mov"
<Agent_Orange> ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
<SoiledGreen> down wiff whitie!
<Elkman> What does Asera do?
<Agent_Orange> they be ridin' the e-biz train, G!
<Elkman> Oh, never mind. They're an ASP.
<SoiledGreen> we gonna pull in hella cheeze, brutha.
<SeanQ> SG: leave boi out of this conversation
* Agent_Orange wrenches the headphones off and dives for the command-Q buttons
<Agent_Orange> I would have to quit. there is absolutely no way I could stay in that building for another second.
<Elkman> "Asera: We're not just another generic company name pulled from the ass of 100 Monkeys!"
<Agent_Orange> We've got an e-business ... um, something ... solution .. uh ..."
<Elkman> Hey! I think they're singing over the karaoke version of "Addicted to Love".
<SoiledGreen> does love come in pill form?
<SoiledGreen> or can i smoke it?
* Elkman gets woozy from the camera panning the crowd at the end of the song
<Agent_Orange> the "e-biz cabaret"?
<Agent_Orange> like the musical cabaret, about decadent 30's germany just prior to the rise of nazism?
<Agent_Orange> okay, I can see that.
<Elkman> "Yo, don't be dissin' the expresso machine, brutha!"
<Elkman> If I ever saw a phrase like that in any company communication, I'd be demoralized in seconds flat.
<Agent_Orange> So...are you ready for some butt-kickin', thigh-slappin' rock and roll?
<Elkman> "Aserans who you hang out with all the time are your homies." Yeah, I'd love to spend 18 hours a day at work.
<Elkman> "Homies" or not.
<SeanQ> youguys sure this site is for real?
<Agent_Orange> do they have to talk like that at work?
<mdxi> "Please do not refer to the secretarial pool as 'mah hoez' or 'da bitchez' and do not insinuate that 'they be ridin mah tip 24/7, yo'."
<Agent_Orange> SQ: sure looks like it
<Elkman> mdxi: snkkky
<Agent_Orange> this phillip clown is a tech writer that whored out to asera to write this drivel
<SeanQ> Snikky T in the houuuuuuuse!
<Agent_Orange> there seems to be no mention of it on asera's site
<Agent_Orange> snnnknt fucker
<Elkman> "Dis weekend, yo, I'm takin' my work down to my crib." How come that's cool now, while Loverboy's "Everybody's Working for the Weekend" is passe' now?
<Agent_Orange> they all have names like he-man characters
<Elkman> "Murugan, Slayer of Bugs".
<Agent_Orange> Hanuma, dropper of the final N!
<SeanQ> there's a typo: it says "Brains behind Asrea" instead of "Brains in their Asera"
<Agent_Orange> "products"? they have products?
<Elkman> See, if I didn't know that Asera was an ASP, then I'd guess it was a car make or model.
<Agent_Orange> like deliverables?
<Elkman> The Acura Asera? The Asera Integra?
<Agent_Orange> the Asera Murugan
<Elkman> "Test drive the new Asera today. The stereo plays our company song!"
<SeanQ> "Hanuma, Director, Commerce Server and Bomber of Federal Buildings"
<Agent_Orange> I think all they do is have meetings and bill you for it
<Agent_Orange> "Asera Sell-Side Applications, combined with the Asera eBusiness Operating System, enable you to rapidly deploy powerful sell-side capabilities. These capabilities fully support your efforts to do collaborative commerce with all constituents in your value chain."
<Agent_Orange> yes, yes, but what is it that you DO?
<SoiledGreen> you chill, yo.
<Kyol> Oh good! They just pulled another person in on this conference call!
* Agent_Orange dials into kyol's conference call
<Kyol> And I've got a wedding to go to at 3. Will I make it, or will I be tied up on a conference call until 2:50! Tun in next week - same bat time, same bat channel!
* Agent_Orange returns to kyol's conference call to ask the participants if THEY know what asera does
<Agent_Orange> or if any of them want to jerk me off
<CrazyClimber> oh, hell, we've dealt with asera from the beginning.
<SeanQ> really, Bob?
<Agent_Orange> they sell, like, snack cakes, right?
<CrazyClimber> yeah. i dunno who's a client of whom, though.
<SeanQ> they a bunch of straight-up G's, or they wack?
<SeanQ> These capabilities fully support your efforts to do collaborative commerce with all constituents in your value chain. == "We keep your vending machines fully stocked with Twinkies"
<CrazyClimber> no, elk was closest, it's the hyundai asera
<Agent_Orange> well integrate your ecommerce needs with a creamy chocolate filling!
* Elkman rereads the Salon.com article about company naming
<SeanQ> wow are you bored
<Elkman> "I mean, would you name your own baby?" Redhill thinks for a moment, then backpedals. "I mean, of course you would name your own baby."
<Agent_Orange> elk: they sued salon over that story
<Agent_Orange> apparently the writer has a history of fabrication
<Agent_Orange> and it's likely she fabricated all the funny lines therein
<SoiledGreen> sure it's not fabricated?
<SoiledGreen> all this talk of fabric.
* Samwise eats his zingers
<Samwise> 99.9% slug-free
<Elkman> Who sued Salon?
<SeanQ> "Anthropod Free Since Tuesday!"
<Gayo> Someone sued Salon?
<Agent_Orange> redhill & whatever his company is
<Agent_Orange> sigh. because the writer for salon made up all the outrageously funny quotes that made the company look imbecillic
<Agent_Orange> she has a history of doing it, apparently
* Agent_Orange goes to look for the brill's content article
<Agent_Orange> i guess they didn't really sue
<Agent_Orange> just bitched
<Agent_Orange> "She made me look like a goof," said David Redhill, creator of the name onehundredmonkeys.com
<SeanQ> how convenient that she lost her notes
and the editor conveniently lost the letter from Redhill
<Agent_Orange> you'ld be surprised - or maybe you wouldn't - at how many bad reporters resort to that "I lost my notes" gag
<Agent_Orange> what the fuck is "you'ld"?
<mdxi> wou'ld, cou'ld, shou'ld, he'ld, she'ld, it'ld, you'ld
<mdxi> seen on a church recently: "1 cross 2 boards 3 nails 4 ever"
<Agent_Orange> 5 dollars all-u-can eat shrimp
<Leth> o/~ fiiiiive gollldennnn riiiinnnggssss! o/~
<Samwise> 5, 6, pick up sticks
<Leth> get your graphic today!
<Agent_Orange> 6 Grils 6 all nude
<SeanQ> that wher they cook the all-u-can eat shrimp?
<Gayo> If they took out that superfluous "routine" it could be NOHAMM
<shil> EXTREME NUDE BAR-B-QUE!!
<mdxi> mmm, grilfs
<Gayo> I like how they try to make it sound like male circumcision is a bigger problem than female circumcision.
<Leth> oh, now here's a ribbon campaign for collapsar http://investingcanada.miningco.com/aboutcanada/investingcanada/library/blribbon.htm
* Agent_Orange grabs a genital integrity graphic to use, without link or explanation, on his web page
<mdxi> that's like ICAPP here in georgia. it expands as "Intellectual CApital Partnership Program" because they didn't want it to be the "ICPP" program
<Samwise> Great. Ribbons now have 2-sided colors. Next thing, each new cause is gonna have to have a pattern or stripes.
<mdxi> i like how they chose cyan, as in "You'd still all be using CGA if we had anything to do with it"
<Elkman> Actually, it'd be pretty cool if instead of a ribbon, they had a Moebius strip. And it'd still be cyan on one side and pink on the other.
<Agent_Orange> sam: how about tartans?
<Samwise> Nah... I'm thinking gingham caps for causes next.
<Samwise> Like Rimmer when he flibs out.
<SeanQ> man, those people have no vision
<SeanQ> ANYWAY, I was saying those noharmm folks have no vision, they could've gone for Nat'l Organization to Stop Neanderthal Injury of Penii and Scroti
<Agent_Orange> H.O.O.D.E.D. C.O.B.R.A.
<Agent_Orange> someone else fill it in. I'm tired.
<SeanQ> moile, then?
<Agent_Orange> you mean Mohel, you goy?
<SeanQ> whaddya call the guy who snips them little hebes?
<Leth> what he said
<Leth> Sean: Herr
<Agent_Orange> using the hebetine
<Agent_Orange> "I'm beginning to make the cut ..ah..ah..AH...CHOO! SHIT shit shit!"
<Agent_Orange> "Staple gun! Stat!"
<CrazyClimber> hm, wonder if that snipped part would look like a bandaid if it landed on a salad.
<Leth> "Oooh, calamari salad!"
<Agent_Orange> CC: calamari
<CrazyClimber> i dunno, i don't eat seafood, but from what i've seen of calamari, that's giving a newborn an awful lot of credit.
<Gayo> I imagine it'd start out real bloody and then get white fast.
<SeanQ> kinda like fucking a virgin
<SeanQ> oh christ, did I just type that out loud?
* Agent_Orange pretends to examine his shoe.
<Leth> fucker...I just took a sip of soda, too
|Heather Garvey / Raven / firstname.lastname@example.org||I want to submit a log!|