"The Xenon penis is a noble penis indeed."

<Lore> http://www.backdoor.com/thenumber/penis1.html
<Lore> "The shape, color, bend and tight testicles here all scream air penis.""
<Lore> "appearances can be deceiving, and this penis has heartache written all over it."
<Lore> "Yoni Passionata is a transgender Wiccan priestess, and world-renowned expert in the ancient and esoteric art of penis reading."
<tieboy> her husband must be fuming
<Lore> "...she is not, however, married to a landmark."
<zompist> oh, yeah, i've heard of her
<zompist> she's world-reknowned, after all
<zompist> or he
<Lore> "Earth penises are relatively easy to identify as they resemble tuberous vegetables yams, potatoes, turnips etc. "
<Lore> "Air penises are generally long, slim and pale, with neat, globular, lightly pigmented testicles, carried high and tight."
<tieboy> "Is that a tuberous vegetable in your pocket, or is it just your penis?"
<Lore> "Men with a fire penis in their pants have a burning sexuality and charisma to burn, too."
<spinn> he's not making this up, right?
<Elkman> What's a water penis?
<Lore> "Water is the most feminine of the elements, and, accordingly, water type penises are often small, soft and feminine in appearance."
<KemloCaesar> it
<KemloCaesar> it's for making water
<Lore> I'm trying to figure out what a feminine penis looks like.
<spinn> I'm specifically not.
<Lore> "My you're menstruating in a masculine manner."
<tieboy> maybe it has eyelashes
<Lore> Or a bow.
<zompist> a more modern site would have the hydrogen penis, helium penis, ... all the way up to lawrencium
<spinn> "Bam!"
<daria> It's plaid.
<KemloCaesar> "the sodium penis explodes on contact with water"
<daria> with lace.
<Leth> sex with the owner of a fire penis can be hot as hell, but life with one is usually just plain hell, so if your intended unzips one of these crimson lollipops, zip it up quick and move on.
<Elkman> "The plutonium penis is explosive, but has a half life of 36 minutes."
<Lore> Maybe it has breasts.
<Lore> A local college team here is named the Crimson Lollipops.
<Mr-Ben> Maybe it has a bitchy period every 28 days.
<KemloCaesar> "the iron penis is sturdy, but corrodes easily"
<Lore> "The Xenon penis is a noble penis indeed."
<Lore> "However, once captured, air penis types make the most intelligent and imaginative sexual partners.
<Lore> "
<CrazyClimber> and the Krypton penis is not only noble, but from another planet
<Leth> hey, now I can't follow it with "...unfortunately, also inert"
<SeanQ> does Nike make the air penis?
<zompist> is an air penis anything like air guitar?
<Mr-Ben> Prolly, zomp.
<SoiledGreen> air masturbation.
<CrazyClimber> sean: bringing new meaning to the word "sweatshop"...
<Leth> ghaaah
<Leth> they have a set of photo examples
<tieboy> avoid the "Earth, Wind & Fire" penis
<Lore> "Earth penises typically correspond with meat and potatoes sexual tastes."