The Story So Far : Gargoyles Just Want to Have Fun (Episodes 75-84 5/10/01)

SWHC

[Preparation] [Suicide Squid] [What's his mime type?] [Why orcs avoid living here] [Why-a no chicken?] [To catch a thief] [Rock and Troll] [How To Be Rutabagan] [Gargoyles Just Want to Have Fun] [Let Me Entertain You] [The Arm-bone's Connected to the Sword-Bone] [Space Opera Quest!] [Is Mary Sue too damn perky or what?] [Beware of bears bearing wares]



<KemloCaesar> does that count as a character class?
<sol-D> Yeah. You can be a first level little bitch.
<zompist> 'bitch' is not normally considered a class. you can be an assassin

<KemloCaesar> thank you
*** KemloCaesar is now known as LeeHarveyKemlo
<zompist> well, let's quickly get some new characters.

<zompist> you can either have a new character or run one owned by someone who's not here.

<DML> Does Capalert have Righteous Indignation, or is that just a GURPS Quirk?
* LeeHarveyKemlo is still a coyote
* LeeHarveyKemlo has a leather satchel filled with throwing knives
<LeeHarveyKemlo> don't ask me what species the leather is from.
<DML> Trevor, Orkish industrialist.
<zompist> 'industrialist' doesn't make for really great slashing and chopping and dicing, which is what most of d&d consists of

<DML> I was kind of aware of that.
* LeeHarveyKemlo carefully adjusts his satchel so as to conceal the tattoos on it
<DML> But can I be an engineer? They at least have a tool bag, and they were around in the Renaissance
<LeeHarveyKemlo> we're headed to Grusena?
<Dodge> I'll be a rogue
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Gurena.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> or *from* Gurena?
<Dodge> Take that, Guernica!
<zompist> from gurëna

<zompist> unless you really really liked it there

<sol-D> I never got to see it. I bet it needed art
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I don't think it would be a good idea for me to stay in Gurena much longer
<LeeHarveyKemlo> inconvenient questions might be asked
<LeeHarveyKemlo> you're headed out of town....
<LeeHarveyKemlo> may I join you?
*** Dodge is now known as ElRegate
<ElRegate> I am ElRegate, a half-elf rogue.
*** sol-D is now known as Adry
*** DML is now known as Trevor_Peikoff
* ElRegate leaps from a whorehouse window, lands in the midst of the party and says...
<ElRegate> "If you're leaving town, I think I'll join you."
<BlackDeath> "Tired of rutabagas, stranger?"
<zompist> ok. basic situation: you've defeated the rock golems and revived morwen. now, some of the party wants to sleep and party awhile; but some of you want to sneak a little more adventuring in.

<Adry> "You wouldn't happen to have any spare pencils.. or bacon?"
<zompist> you have a choice: there's an oracle to the east, which is said to give infallible answers to all of life's questions

<Trevor_Peikoff> Soy Peikoff, nee Trevor, orcish druid thief.
<zompist> there's a ruined city down south, along the river, which is said to be wicked picturesque, and might have some monsters

<Trevor_Peikoff> "Does it have any sandwiches?"
<zompist> and in vyat, also down south, you've heard that elrei, the band you're after, is playing a gig.

<Adry> ooh. I could draw monsters...
<LeeHarveyKemlo> let's go west.
<Trevor_Peikoff> Vyat would be cool... HEY, WAIT! Don't tell me this is Verduria.
<Adry> East would be nice..
<ElRegate> There's a band on the run?
<Trevor_Peikoff> Singing sappy songs with millions in royalties
<Ntilde> We could go south, but we'll have to come back here to get the rest of the adventurers.
<zompist> don't worry about them, they can catch up later.

<BlackDeath> "We should stay on the trail of the band while it's still hot."
<zompist> they're busy drinking and whoring and stuff.

<Ntilde> OK, then let's go east.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> pester the oracle?
<Ntilde> East? I mean south. South. To catch the band.
<ElRegate> I'll go with the band pursuers
<Adry> Can we got east after we go south?
<zompist> not before 11:30. :)

<Ntilde> I actually wanted to become one of their roadies once.
<Adry> awww... B(
<Trevor_Peikoff> What are the other choices again?
<zompist> oracle; ruined city; gig

<Adry> can we go SOMEWHERE before my enforced bedtime
<BlackDeath> How about the ruined city?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> fine, fine, let's head down to the ruined city
* Adry closes her eys, spins, heads in the direction she's facing.
<Trevor_Peikoff> I'll fight for my right to not vote
<Adry> Ruined city it is!
<BlackDeath> "Get in a little action, have fun, come back for the others."
<LeeHarveyKemlo> sounds good to me
<Trevor_Peikoff> Anybody else going to the gig?
<Adry> we all sort of have to agree, trevor
<LeeHarveyKemlo> wait, which is the main storyline?
<zompist> otherwise it becomes damn confusing, especially for the dm

<BlackDeath> Following the band is the main storyline, iirc
<Trevor_Peikoff> Oh, fine, whatever
<zompist> yowzuh

<Ntilde> Let's do the ruined city.
<ElRegate> There's no designated flight leader to make these decisions?
* BlackDeath scouts ahead to the south.
<Adry> I'm all about the ruined city.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> see if we can find any evidence of the band's presence in the ruined city
<zompist> ok, that's at least 4 votes for ruined city.

<ElRegate> Ruined city
<ElRegate> Perhaps we can determine how it came to be ruined.
<Trevor_Peikoff> Um, the Oracle?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I heard that Elrei's music had dark nefarious effects.
<Trevor_Peikoff> If we go to the oracle, we can make up a question.
<Trevor_Peikoff> They have to answer it or they'll GIVE us a MILLION GP.
<ElRegate> Yeah, but we'll have to decide on what question to ask, and we'll be there til a week from next xmas.
* Adry stomps off toward the ruined city, letting everyone else follow or not.
<zompist> episodes 75-127: deciding whether to go east, south, or south

<LeeHarveyKemlo> ruined city
<zompist> right ho. you all head off south. in buyel, a town along the way, you meet peikoff, el regate and lee harvey in an inn.

<LeeHarveyKemlo> ah, okay
<Adry> can we "meet them" there because I was drawing them?
<ElRegate> Hey, next time draw me with some pants.
<zompist> adry: prognosis? premonition? whatever it's called?

<Ntilde> Does this inn have any towels I can steal?
<zompist> precognition!

<Adry> Sorry. I thought that skirt was cute...
<Adry> wow. I'm precognicant!
* LeeHarveyKemlo looks over Adry's shoulder at the sketch, and hastily scribbles over the drawing
<LeeHarveyKemlo> no pictures of me, please.
<Adry> fuck YOU
<Trevor_Peikoff> Hotel Don't Steal the Towels?
<BlackDeath> "Hey! Don't mess with our artist!"
<zompist> nothing else of note happens till you reach vyat, which is across the river from the ruined city.

<Trevor_Peikoff> Is there a Hotel Don't Steal the Towels there?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> there was, but the towels were stolen
<LeeHarveyKemlo> so the building collapsed
<zompist> vyat is a big town; it even has a university.

<Adry> what sort of university?
<ElRegate> Hey, we could go to the university and research the ruined city.
<zompist> well, the verdurians consider it kind of a party school

* Ntilde thinks about matriculating, but decides not to do so in public
* BlackDeath heads for the university to see ifthey have a Department of Archeology.
<ElRegate> Well, those of us who are literate.
<ElRegate> Yeah, I'll go with him.
<Adry> I could go hit on some college girls, I suppose...
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I could go commit some homicides
<zompist> you soon find the next best thing, a professor of classics.

<ElRegate> Actually, Adry, there is a job for you here.
<Adry> "I'm an artist. please take off your top."
<Adry> copying maps?
<ElRegate> Check out the university art department, see if you can find any maps or drawings of the ruined city.
<zompist> he's a wizened old man with a cane, in an office filled with books and maps.

<Adry> maps maps maps
<LeeHarveyKemlo> is he cooperative?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> or you want I should lean on him a little?
<Adry> is he cute?
<BlackDeath> "Hello, sir. We've heard interesting things about the ruined city. I was wondering if you could tell us anything about its history."
<zompist> lee: if you buy him a brandy

<ElRegate> "Yeah, it's name, for starters."
<BlackDeath> Old professors love to talk. Especially when ya booze 'em up.
<zompist> "shiver me timbers," he says, peering closely. "a talking raven. now i really need that drink."

* Adry gives the Prof. a drawing of a bottle of booze
* LeeHarveyKemlo grumbles about how a couple of sharp blades might work better
<Adry> is he an ex pirate?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Here, some brandy
* ElRegate digs a flask out of his pocket.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> brewed it mysellf
<zompist> the professor accepts both your kind offers

<LeeHarveyKemlo> absolutely no funny mushrooms included in the brewing
* ElRegate pushes Lee's brandy away.
<ElRegate> You don't wanna drink from his cup.
<zompist> "ah, methinks ye'll be thinking of cantiego."

<Trevor_Peikoff> "What happened to the city across from us, anyway?"
<zompist> "abandoned fifteen hundred years ago, at least, during the barbarian invasions."

<LeeHarveyKemlo> I hear that it had something to do with an Elrei concert?
<Ntilde> 1500 years ago? Why has nobody else tried to build a city there since then?
<Ntilde> Is this like a Verdurian Superfund site?
<zompist> "i only listen to classical music. none of this rockaroll tomfoolery for me."

<ElRegate> "What barbarians?"
<ElRegate> "Are they still around?"
<zompist> "a good question, m'lad. no one's built on that side of the river, because the site is cursed."

<LeeHarveyKemlo> Curse, shmurse.
<Adry> How cursed?
<Trevor_Peikoff> "What was it like then - I mean, before the barbarians?"
<Ntilde> Will we be cursed if we go there?
* LeeHarveyKemlo picks a stiletto out of his satchel and cleans his claws with it
<Trevor_Peikoff> "And does it have something to do with the curses or whatever?"
<ElRegate> "Surely a wise professor like yourself doesn't believe in curses."
<zompist> "that's an interesting question, young rogue person. opinions are divided. sosar, for instance, holds that it was the barakhinei. i myself lean toward the naviu."

<Adry> Were the barbarians also cursed..?
<zompist> "i'm wise enough to keep my skin whole by not setting foot inside."

<Trevor_Peikoff> "No French. I don't speak that..."
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I'm sure the barbarians were very widely cursed.
<Adry> .."then how can you study it?"
<zompist> "it still has some fine-looking cuzeian architecture. but don't go there at night; the monsters rule it then."

<LeeHarveyKemlo> Perhaps the professor might like to come with us?
* LeeHarveyKemlo motions meaningfully
<zompist> "what? find out things by grubbing around in the dirt? don't be absurd!"

<Ntilde> Oh, just at night. Kind of like Gremlins.
<BlackDeath> "What kind of monsters? Trolls? Ogres?"
<Ntilde> Or the Edgar Winter group.
<Adry> "Kemlos?"
<Trevor_Peikoff> "Anyone I could try to communicate with...?"
<LeeHarveyKemlo> the Blue Man Group?
<zompist> "it depends on your bad luck. there's lots of skeletons, for instance."

* Trevor_Peikoff shudders at the thought of... the Blue Man Group
<Adry> skeletons? Eee!
<ElRegate> "Let me make you a deal, doc. Suppose we go over there and perform an extensive study of the landscape, and report our findings back to you. What would that be worth to the university?"
<zompist> "i've heard that there's giant squids, but i can't quite credit that."

<LeeHarveyKemlo> for me, little professor - skeletons are *good* luck.
<Adry> I'm.. I'm scared of skeletons. D..Do you think they'd like drawings?
<zompist> "if you can find a scroll or a work of art or something, i'm sure we'd purchase it from you for a fair price."

<zompist> "don't bother with the stones and skulls and all that rot."

* ElRegate puts his arm around Adry
* BlackDeath perks up. Calimari again?
* Adry shivers cutely
<LeeHarveyKemlo> so, any and all "stones", we can keep?
<Ntilde> Are the skulls cursed?
<zompist> the professor pulls out a sundial. "oh my, look at the time! i must be off to the pub."

<ElRegate> "Check her out. Full blown artist. She can draw anything. We can bring you back detailed sketches of all that "fine cuevian architechture", for example."
<zompist> "i mean, to my publisher."

<Ntilde> A sundial? Indoors?
<zompist> "we have perfectly good pictures of the place from before it was ruined," the prof says, as he exits.

<Adry> ho-hum.
<Trevor_Peikoff> I'd be interested in that...
<ElRegate> Let's get those pictures.
<Trevor_Peikoff> Are they in the room somewhere?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> can we attack the professor now
<LeeHarveyKemlo> see if he turns into a monster?
<Adry> he's too drunk to fight, probably
* LeeHarveyKemlo balances a throwing knife on the tip of his finger
<zompist> he's gone, i'm afraid

* Adry gets out her exacto and cuts the straps on LeeHarvey's satchel
<zompist> anything you want to pilfer here?

* BlackDeath checks her pack's supplies.
<Adry> are there any pencils or bacon?
<zompist> some pencils

<Trevor_Peikoff> I'd love to nick some office supplies
* LeeHarveyKemlo carefully reties the satchel
<Adry> I want the pencils
* BlackDeath rifles through the maps on the professor's desk.
<Ntilde> Any archaeology books?
<Trevor_Peikoff> And those damn scrolls
<zompist> and a snake, but no bacon

<LeeHarveyKemlo> is it venomous?
<Adry> Damn.
<Trevor_Peikoff> Any office supplies, especially paper
<Adry> SSSS. SS.
<Trevor_Peikoff> AND THE SCROLLS
<LeeHarveyKemlo> can I behead it and take the fangs?
* BlackDeath looks for anything on cantiego.
<zompist> blackdeath, you find a nice map of the area, circa 500 years ago

<LeeHarveyKemlo> is the snake venomous?
* BlackDeath tucks the map into her pack.
<Ntilde> Hey, yeah. Are there any spells on the shelves?
<BlackDeath> "Everyone ready?"
* Adry checks along the walls for hidden doros or something
* LeeHarveyKemlo takes a letter opener
<Trevor_Peikoff> Any other maps?
<Adry> doors
* Trevor_Peikoff nabs whatever office supplies are left in the room
* LeeHarveyKemlo looks up guiltily, a handful of maps in his satchel.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> No, no other maps.
<zompist> you find a gorgeous map of the gorges

<Adry> I have to go.
*** SIGNOFF: Adry
<LeeHarveyKemlo> who, me, orPeikoff?
* Trevor_Peikoff nabs the gorges map, and some scizzors
<zompist> and a very brightly colored map of the cadhinorian empire in its prime.

* ElRegate jots a note, "Dear Doc, thanks for the stuff, Later, El Regate"
* Trevor_Peikoff takes the rest of the maps
<Ntilde> I'll take the map of the empire.
<zompist> the cadhinorian map actually shows cantiego

* LeeHarveyKemlo uses a stiletto to force open a desk drawer
<Ntilde> Or, damn. He got it already.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> what's in the desk drawer?
<zompist> a fine collection of orc porn

* LeeHarveyKemlo slides the drawer shut carefully.
<zompist> the next drawer down contains the prof's secret snack supply: biscuits, wine, honey, and raisins

* BlackDeath snags the snacks.
* LeeHarveyKemlo snagged them first
<BlackDeath> Nope.
<BlackDeath> Toooo slow.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I was the one forcing the drawers open
<zompist> now now, bird, you're not six feet tall.

<BlackDeath> Heh.
<zompist> pick one snack, or eat the others.

* BlackDeath takes the biscuits.
* LeeHarveyKemlo stashes the wine
* Trevor_Peikoff fights BlackDeath for the biscuits
<Ntilde> I'll take the honey.
<Trevor_Peikoff> Raisins?
* BlackDeath stabs Trevor in the hand and closes her pack.
* Trevor_Peikoff begrudgingly takes the raisins.
<zompist> right ho! provisioned and be-mapped, you head out to cantiego!

<Trevor_Peikoff> "I should've left them where they are. They better be of use..."
<LeeHarveyKemlo> and in the last drawer?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> more orc porn?
<zompist> lee: nothing but female undergarments

* BlackDeath scouts ahead, flying to the edge of the ruins to take a look.
* LeeHarveyKemlo takes a few pairs, just in case.
* ElRegate grabs the underwear.
* Trevor_Peikoff naps the orkpr0n for later recreation
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Never know what might come in handy.
* Ntilde heads out toward the ruins
* Ntilde puts on a Blue Oyster Cult album
<zompist> ok. the ruins are extensive but rather sloppy. stones all over, covered with lichen.

<Trevor_Peikoff> Mmm... lichen
<zompist> glassless windows in the remaining buildings stare at you like the eye sockets of a skull

* LeeHarveyKemlo sniffs the air
* Trevor_Peikoff slices off a bit of lichen, eats it
<zompist> here and there columns rise up like impacted molars

<LeeHarveyKemlo> there's something not right about the scent of this place
<ElRegate> "Somehow, I knew, someone would eat the lichen"
<Trevor_Peikoff> "Lichen is good"
* BlackDeath doesn't see any motion from her cursory scouting flyby.
<Ntilde> I was just about to play the song "Dancing in the Ruins" by BOC.
<ElRegate> Are there any buildings still standing?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Regate - for certain definitions of "standing"
<LeeHarveyKemlo> this is a great site to plan an ambush in
<LeeHarveyKemlo> unfortunately, I'm sure that whoever was here before us already thought of that
* BlackDeath keeps watch from on high, looking for anything shiny or moving.
<Trevor_Peikoff> Sy: "Is this a future of high-speed circulation?"
<zompist> regate: there are indeed some buildings left standing.

<ElRegate> Marked?
<zompist> one looks like a chapel, on account of the tall spire and the pair of gargoyles out front

<ElRegate> Like "Saloon" or "Hospital" that sort of thing?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> y'know....
<LeeHarveyKemlo> if those gargoyles were alive
<LeeHarveyKemlo> they'd be in an excellent vantage point to leap on us and rip us to shreds.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Just saying.
<zompist> you do see some words, but the language doesn't seem to be yours

<Ntilde> Hmm. I'll go to that web site that has all the Verdurian language translation.
* Trevor_Peikoff attempts to communicate with the gargoyles
<ElRegate> Well, I'll have to make a scientific decision. I go into the building that has the longest name.
* BlackDeath writes down the words for future reference.
<Trevor_Peikoff> Do they speak any Orkish languages?
<zompist> the gargoyles are indeed alive, and at this expression of interest they leap down and attack.

<Ntilde> Damn! Attacked by more rock.
<Ntilde> I'll run over and cast a magic missile spell on one of the gargoyles.
* BlackDeath launches herself at the other gargoyle.
* ElRegate hollers out the door, "Hey! It's DAYTIME, you monsters cannot start ruling this place until 6pm!"
* ElRegate having said that, runs back out to join the fight.
* LeeHarveyKemlo throws several stilettos into the gargoyle's back
<Ntilde> Oh, yeah. Those high heels ought to help.
* Trevor_Peikoff attempts to throw a fireball
<zompist> the gargoyles have the initiative, and wound blackdeath and lee harvey for 3 hp each

* ElRegate attempts to grapple one of the birds.
<zompist> blackdeath, you manage to scrape a nasty slash into one gargoyle

* LeeHarveyKemlo pulls out the bottle of wine, opens it, and splashes some on the cracks in the gargoyle's back.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Alcohol burns.
<zompist> regate, what's your weapon?

<ElRegate> a dagger.
<Ntilde> I'll cast the ESP spell on one of the gargoyles to read its mind.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Hurl the fireball NOW.
* Trevor_Peikoff attempts ESP on another gargoyle
* BlackDeath makes a second pass at the one she already wounded.
<zompist> ntilde: their thoughts are basically on the lines of ATTACK DEATH KILL INTERLOPERS ATTACK THEM ATTACK KILL THIS IS FUN FUN FUN NASTY HUMAN CREATURES KILL MAIM ATTACK BREAKFAST? NO, ATTACK!

* Trevor_Peikoff makes a pass at a gargoyle he hasn't shown hostility to yet
<ElRegate> The idea, when fighting aviary enemies, is a grapple and stab.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> could someone please hurl a fireball at the gargoyle who I, at great risk to myself, have just doused in flammables?
<Ntilde> Well, that was kind of what I expected.
<zompist> regate wounds the other gargoyle with his dagger

<Ntilde> Damn! I forgot to steal the matches from the inn.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> or maybe the gargoyles would be interested in some ork pr0n?
<zompist> closest you have is a magic missile, lee. but presumably someone has a tinder box.

* Trevor_Peikoff grapples with that aforementioned gargoyle
* Trevor_Peikoff takes his dagger and stabs in strategic areas
* Ntilde casts the invisibility spell on himself and attempts to wring the gargoyle's neck.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> ntilde - can you confirm that the gargoyles are sentient?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> if we shove ork pr0n in their faces, will they collapse in agony?
<zompist> gargoyle #1 (george) manages to catch blackdeath in midflight; she wriggles out, but at the cost of 3 hp

<Ntilde> Kemlo: As sentient as you are.
<Trevor_Peikoff> What about the pr0n?
<zompist> er, what about it?

* BlackDeath decides to regroup and makes her third pass a missle attack : rocks from above.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> is it sufficient to break the gargoyles' brains?
* Trevor_Peikoff begrudgingly rips out a page from the April edition of "Greenskinz" and shows it to one of the gargoyles
<Trevor_Peikoff> (sniff)
<zompist> i don't recall you stealing the porn; someone shut the desk drawer

<LeeHarveyKemlo> he did take it.
<Trevor_Peikoff> I did.
* Ntilde attempts to grab the other gargoyle and smash it on something convenient
<zompist> ooh, it's regate's lucky night... another good shot at gargoyl #2 (geoffrey)

<Trevor_Peikoff> Would they be aroused? Would they be horrified?
<zompist> gargoyl #1 rips the magazine out of trevor's hands and beats him over the head with it

<ElRegate> Well, if gargoyle #1 didn't do it....
<zompist> lee, what are you trying?

<LeeHarveyKemlo> I know I've got a poison in here that works on gargoyles....
* LeeHarveyKemlo rummages through his satchel
<LeeHarveyKemlo> got it.
<zompist> oh, i don't buy that. you can't have a satchel filled with potions for all monsters.

<LeeHarveyKemlo> I'm a professional.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> anyway, I've only got enough for three doses
<Ntilde> Any flammable hydrogen in there?
*** MisterQ is now known as Surley
<zompist> lee, your earlier idea was better-- the firebomb.

<LeeHarveyKemlo> Okay
<ElRegate> Besides, aren't gargoyles mythical? Who the hell would go to the trouble of creating a poison that's only effective on one specific type of mythical bird?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Regate - you're thinking of harpies, maybe
<zompist> ok, to your surprise, it turns out that surley the dwarf has been with you all along!

<Surley> "I've been practicing my stealth skills"
<Surley> what's the one line recap?
<zompist> surley: these folks have plunged on ahead, explored a ruined city, and been attacked by a couple of gargoyles.

<Surley> cool
<ElRegate> Hola, Surley, you wanna help me pull these birds out of the sky and stab them?
* BlackDeath is still dropping rocks on the gargoyles.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Gargoyles aren't birds, are they?
<Surley> sure, el
<LeeHarveyKemlo> anyway, I meant a poison that would work on rock creatures
<zompist> the rocks don't seem to bother them much

* Surley roars with glee and attacks the gargoyles
<LeeHarveyKemlo> trolls, rock monsters, gargoyles, you know
<LeeHarveyKemlo> would someone PLEASE set fire to the gargoyle who I doused in flammable alcohol?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> surley, you have your pickaxe?
<Surley> yep
<LeeHarveyKemlo> that'd strike a spark, wouldn't it?
<Ntilde> Kemlo: I don't have a fireball.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> toss it here
<LeeHarveyKemlo> toss me the pickaxe
<ElRegate> Lee, light a torch and hit the gargoyle with it.
<zompist> surley's mighty axe sinks a good distance into a gargoyle (george)

<Surley> does anyone have a torch?
<BlackDeath> Since no one has fire, I fly back to the town and get a torch.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> okay
<zompist> i said you had a tinderbox

<LeeHarveyKemlo> nice deep hole
<Surley> ahh
<zompist> this is a wilderness adventure

* LeeHarveyKemlo lights a torch
<LeeHarveyKemlo> and PLUNGES it into the axe wound
* BlackDeath returns with a torch as well.
* LeeHarveyKemlo darts backwards
<zompist> you can't have gargoyle potions, but fire is a technology you've mastered

<Surley> mmm.. Fire! Good!
<LeeHarveyKemlo> okay, so the gargoyle has a big hole in its chest, and a flaming torch in the hole.
* BlackDeath waits to see if lee's fire catches.
<zompist> ok, groovy. george lights up like a crêpe suzette.

<zompist> he's not dead, but he looks mighty annoyed

<ElRegate> o/` There's a torch, in the hole, in the gargoyles chest! There's a hole in the gargoyle's chest! o/`
* Surley tries to use the flail as well to see about shattering some rock limbs
<zompist> the other gargoyle takes advantage of the general gaping to claw 2 hp out of ntilde

<Ntilde> Aw, shit. Didn't I try attacking these gargoyles while invisible?
<zompist> well, he was kind of flailing about and hit you despite himself.

* LeeHarveyKemlo stabs the gargoyle in the scrotum
* BlackDeath whales on the other gargoyle with her burning torch.
<ElRegate> You're better off, invisibility is a liability in group combat.
<ElRegate> I will attempt to pin the other gargoyle to the ground, while the rest of you beat the crap out of it.
<zompist> lee harvey, the flaming gargoyle takes a step backward and lands on you. 1 hp damage (and you have 1 hp left)

<zompist> blackie, what are you doing?

<Surley> hmm.. disposable kemlo
<Ntilde> Who has 1hp left?
* BlackDeath whales on the other gargoyle with her burning torch.
<BlackDeath> The non-flaming gargoyle = the other one.
<zompist> kemlo does

<LeeHarveyKemlo> getitoffme getitoffme getitoffme getitoffme
<LeeHarveyKemlo> lore lore lore lore
* Surley tries for a decrapitation with his pickaxe
<zompist> the other gargoyle (geoffrey) suffers some damage

* Ntilde half-heartedly tries to push the gargoyle off Kemlo
* LeeHarveyKemlo crawls out relievedly
<zompist> surley whacks gargoyle #1 with his dire flail, doing some good damage

<Surley> sweeeet
<zompist> regate gets a dagger thrust in on the other one

* LeeHarveyKemlo takes a few more swigs of wine
* BlackDeath continues hitting the gargoyle with her torch when the opportunity presents itself.
<zompist> george manages to wrestle the torch out of his chest, throws it at blackdeath, who catches fire

* BlackDeath stops, drops and rolls.
* LeeHarveyKemlo offers BlackDeath some wine
<Surley> which is interesting to watch a bird do
<zompist> you manage to put out the fire, but you've lost another 4 hp

* Ntilde casts another magic missile at the nearest gargoyle
<zompist> ok, ntilde, your missile connects; geoffrey is hit

<Ntilde> Whoo!
* BlackDeath stays back until the clerics can take care of her and helps guard the more wounded.
* Surley tries to use his pickaxe to split one of the gargoyles into tiny bits
* Ntilde does the invisible whoop-whoop-whoop dance
<Surley> do we have a cleric?
<Ntilde> Nope. Leth left.
<zompist> trevor/peikoff, though he's cleverly left the channel, is not clever enough to avoid being clawed

* BlackDeath will last until we get back to town.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> and the Padre got engulfed by a gelatinous cube
<zompist> you're 3rd level, blackie-- you still have 10 hp left

<LeeHarveyKemlo> hey, zomp - how long does it take to regain a hit point?
<zompist> it takes a couple days

<Ntilde> We're actually measuring this in horsepower. 1 hp == 750 watts.
<BlackDeath> yeah, but I don't seem to be very effective. I need to come up with a new attack.
<Surley> heh
<Surley> bdeath, what about a strafing bombing run with your talons?
<zompist> i mean, there's rules somewhere. but i'm just figuring that since it's a wilderness adventure, you regain all your hp by the time the next encounter starts.

<LeeHarveyKemlo> can you do a cold spell?
<ElRegate> Real birds attack by dive bombing with their beaks
<BlackDeath> Lost 6 hp to that. :)
<LeeHarveyKemlo> make them brittle?
<Ntilde> Right now, Black Death could power about five hair dryers.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> make them so brittle that they shatter as soon as we touch them?
<Surley> raven-powered hair dryers
* BlackDeath takes a slug of wine, tightens her blades, and launches herself for another dive-bomb.
* BlackDeath harries the non-flaming gargoyle.
<zompist> ntilde, the other gargoyle connects with you, doing a measly little 1 hp damage

<Ntilde> Crap!
<ElRegate> As soon as she hits that gargoyle, I'm gonna rush him.
* Surley tries to distract a gargoyle from blackdeath's attack run by trying to kill it
<Ntilde> Am I still invisible?
* LeeHarveyKemlo falls into a deep, healing sleep.
*** SIGNOFF: LeeHarveyKemlo
<zompist> ntilde: just checked the manual... invisibility poops out as soon as you're successfully hit.

<Ntilde> Oh. Then I'll back off -- I don't have much to fight with at the moment.
<zompist> blackdeath's whirring talons of death do some fearsome damage to george

<Surley> how do you whirl your talons.. I thought they were on your feet?
<zompist> surley tries to go in for the kill, but misses

<Surley> 'Gah!'
<zompist> ouch! geoffrey claws a good 3 hp out of el regate

<zompist> and then sits there laughing at him

* BlackDeath rests for a moment on a high point, to catch her breath, and then makes another dive at Geoffrey.
* Surley tries again with a massive body slam and killing effort
* ElRegate brushes himself off.
<zompist> which one are you aiming at, surley?

<ElRegate> "You weren't laughing a few minutes ago when I was kicking your ass, Jeff!"
<Surley> hmm.. the weaker one
<ElRegate> I'm going for a called shot to the eye.
<zompist> ooh, how brutal

<zompist> ok, surley swings his pickaxe so mightily that gargoyle #1 is knocked into pieces.

<Surley> ka-ching!
<zompist> geoffrey stops laughing, mouths some curses in gargoylish, and flings himself at regate, doing about 3 hp damage

* Surley moves in to intercept and destroy.. geoffrey
<zompist> regate looks pretty knocked about (1 hp left)

<Surley> while trying to protect regate
<ElRegate> Well, I'm about to go to bed anyway, so...
<Ntilde> Then I'll step back in and try to give Geoffrey a good kick or something.
<ElRegate> "Come get some, Jeff."
* BlackDeath is still dive-bombing geoff.
<zompist> ok, blackie, you get a good slice in on geoffrey

<zompist> surley tries to attack, but geoffrey manages to hit him first (3 hp)

<Surley> "Bitch!"
* BlackDeath comes around again for another pass.
* Surley gets really surley
<zompist> surley processes his anger into healthful exercise, namely gargoyle-whacking.

<ElRegate> I'm going for some soft tissue, eye, inside the mouth, the inner ear, something that's gonna hurt.
<Ntilde> Soft tissue? They're made of rock!
<zompist> geoff is still in the running, though, as he proves by clawing into ntilde. (2 hp)

<zompist> regate gets a good blow in!

<Ntilde> OK, I'm going to have to back off. I'm down to 4 hp.
<ElRegate> Huzzah!
<zompist> the monster is mostly wounds by now. but he keeps on ticking! he's a sport!

* BlackDeath comes at geoff from behind, aiming for his head.
<Surley> "Give me some sugar, baby!"
<zompist> blackdeath manages to hit geoffrey with her spinning talons of mutilation!

* Surley tries to plow through geoff, weapons whirling in motion
<Ntilde> Surley: I have honey. Will that help?
<zompist> geoff tries to catch blackdeath, trips, falls on surley

* ElRegate gets an idea.
<zompist> doing about 6 hp damage

<Surley> "yes, honey would be good about now"
* ElRegate pulls the bra out of his pack
* BlackDeath tries to hook geoff off surley.
* Surley tries to get geoff off him, one pice at a time!
<ElRegate> I'm gonna jump on Jeff's back, and hook this bra around his eyes.
<Surley> using the pickaxe
<zompist> regate: you try, but he knocks you down

<zompist> and forces himself to his feet

<Surley> where'd you get a bra?
* Surley tries to attack from the back as geoff gets up
<Surley> "This is for falling on me!"
<ElRegate> I stole it from the professor.
<zompist> regate, you still attacking?

<ElRegate> Yeah...I'm going with the blindfold plan
<Surley> I'm going for the pickaxe through the neck plan
* BlackDeath distracts geoff by attacking his face, going for the blinding action.
<zompist> ok... regate tries to climb the monster from the back; the monster twists to get him off, leaving himself free to be cloven in twain by surley's axe

<Surley> "Hail to the king, baby"
<ElRegate> "Hah hah...wheeze...hah!"
<spinn> prithee verily cloven sirrah
<zompist> geoffrey is now an ex-gargoyle

<Ntilde> Whoo-hoo!
<Surley> heh
<Surley> cool
* Surley kicks one of geoffrey's pieces for good measure
<Ntilde> So, any treasure on these guys?
<zompist> well, not on their persons. you might try the temple they were guarding.

<Ntilde> OK, any treasure in the temple?
<Ntilde> Or is that an exhaustive search?
* Surley goes to check the temple for useful things
* BlackDeath limps into the temple to check,
<Surley> poor birdie
* BlackDeath is still a little cripsy aroundthe edges. :)
<Surley> smells a little like... bar-b-q
* Ntilde shambles into the temple to look around
* ElRegate puts his new "lucky bra" back in his pack.
<zompist> you rummage through, and find: a golden chalice; a quiver of weirdly glowing arrows, two scrolls, and an unlabelled bottle.

<Ntilde> I'll take the scrolls.
* BlackDeath takes the arrows.
* Surley gets the bottle
<Surley> what's the chalice look like, any inscription?
<Ntilde> I'll take the chalice, then.
<BlackDeath> dodge can have the chalice.
<BlackDeath> he got his ass kicked, too..
<Ntilde> Oh, okay. We'll give it to him.
<zompist> the chalice doesn't have any writing on it.

<BlackDeath> what kind of glow are the arrows glowing?
<zompist> an unearthly purplish kind of glow

<BlackDeath> whoo!
<Ntilde> What do the scrolls say?
* BlackDeath packs it in and heads back to town to recuperate.
<Surley> can I see anything in the bottle?
<Surley> Yea, we need to go to town
* BlackDeath assumes we're leaving Lee under the flaming rubble of the gargoyle?
<zompist> ntilde, the scrolls are in a language you don't know.

<zompist> heh... i don't think i said he was dead.

<BlackDeath> he's in the 1hp coma, right?
<zompist> comas are 0 hp.

* BlackDeath looks down at lee. Would it be a bad thing to kick him in the head a few times?
<zompist> surley: just a whitish sludgy liquid.

<Surley> ewww
<BlackDeath> We get xp for kills, right?
<zompist> heh, sure

<Ntilde> Hmm. So they probably aren't spells I can cast, then.
<zompist> ntilde: well, who knows. you'll need to consult an expert.

<Surley> BDeath, did you mean get xp for killing lee?
<BlackDeath> heh, yeah.
<Ntilde> What about the bad karma? Oh, wait.
<Ntilde> These scrolls could probably be the guy's grocery list, for all I know.
<zompist> that's half the fun of treasure... finding out what it is!

<Ntilde> And the other half is Red Goose shoes!
<Ntilde> No, wait, that's feet.
<Surley> No, the other half is saucy wenches
* BlackDeath pokes at lee. Y'know, he's still on fire, that has to count for something.
<zompist> oh, there's a green lantern ring here, too. but since ben's not here to recognize it, you just pass it by

<spinn> heheh
<spinn> if only the gargoyles had known
<Surley> It's made of plastic
* BlackDeath paints herself yellow.
<Surley> are the temple walls are yellow?
<zompist> well, you're going to have to take active measures if you want to kill kemlo.

<spinn> heh
<Surley> nah.. we're more passive agressive when it comes to him. We'll let fire do the work for us
<BlackDeath> damn.
* BlackDeath pours some more wine on the blaze.
<spinn> so what was his character? alchemist?
<zompist> well, i suggest you leave him be. if he doesn't show up next d&d session, he's dead.

<zompist> he was an assassin.

<spinn> oh
<spinn> travelling combat alchemist would've been cooler
<zompist> dan wanted to be an "orkish industrialist"

<Ntilde> Or at least 3/8 of an assassin.
<Surley> His employers would have probably killed him to remove all loose ends anywyas
<Surley> There are other cool character classes no one has thought of yet
<Ntilde> Like the Facebuilding woman?
<zompist> since you're all somewhat wounded, i suggest you head back into vyat and recuperate.

<zompist> it's only across the river, you can go exploring the ruins later.

<Ntilde> OK, I'll head back to Vyat for a rest and the medieval equivalent of a Coke.
* BlackDeath does as well.
<Surley> ditto

[Preparation] [Suicide Squid] [What's his mime type?] [Why orcs avoid living here] [Why-a no chicken?] [To catch a thief] [Rock and Troll] [How To Be Rutabagan] [Gargoyles Just Want to Have Fun] [Let Me Entertain You] [The Arm-bone's Connected to the Sword-Bone] [Space Opera Quest!] [Is Mary Sue too damn perky or what?] [Beware of bears bearing wares]



Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com
I want to submit a log!