Cover me
* CapAlert saunters forward
* Flippy charges up hill, waving slobber-bottle
<Albacore> Without, mind you, approaching.
* CapAlert fails to see Albacore point
<zompist> the thief stands up, drops his newspaper, and smiles.
<Surley> we are so definatly chaotic neutral
*** SIGNOFF: LimePi!~LimePi@pool0491.cvx8-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net (feh)
* Flippy viciously attacks newspaper with bottle
<zompist> "a half elf and someone invisible, to start with," he evaluates. "surely there are more?"
* Stratford notices LimePi disappear into another dimension...
<Albacore> Is he a bear?
<Surley> Albacore, you're invisable!
<zompist> "probably that steel-taloned raven i saw just now?"
* ErikGreen looks over the hill, covering the rear.
* BlackDeath stays put under cover of trees.
<Albacore> I can point for me. I like to point. I'm not just pointing for you.
* CapAlert saunters over the hill, trying to look all holy and shit
* BlackDeath joins the guys.
* Stratford is perched on the top of the hill.
<zompist> "come on, all of you, let's see you. no need for figthing."
<Ntilde> How does he know that Albacore is invisible? I saunter into hearing range, but not within the guy's sight.
* Flippy has been tackled by a puppy and is out of it for a bit
<Albacore> Dammit, you're lamers.
<zompist> stratford? where the hell did he come from?
<Albacore> I charge.
* ErikGreen steps out, sword still drawn.
* Surley crouches and waits
<Albacore> Shouting in a holy manner.
<BlackDeath> cap's a dwarf, isn't he?
<zompist> ntilde: because he shouted
<Albacore> Also, I yell.
* Stratford has a white-knuckle tight grip on his weapon.
<BlackDeath> or who's the half elf?
<Flippy> me
<Albacore> "Repent," yell I.
<CapAlert> Black: Flippy
* Surley clutches his massive pick-axe
<BlackDeath> ah
<Ntilde> Oh, okay. Next time, I'll cast the spell of silence on Albacore.
<Stratford> Lead the way!
<zompist> so, are you all over the hill, or stil lhiding?
* CapAlert sighs, shrugs at Black, and sets his mace to "Pummel"
<Ntilde> OK, OK. I'll come out over the hill and join the fracas.
<BlackDeath> well, some of us have been spotted.
<CapAlert> I'm over, since subtle approach time is passed
<zompist> "before you foolishly attack, gentlecreatures, you might consider something."
<Albacore> I'm over the hill. I'm charging with intent to smite.
* BlackDeath isn't attacking anyone. I'm good for talking.
<Albacore> No! I never consider before foolishly attacking!
<zompist> the man sighs and draws a dagger.
* Surley remains hidden
<CapAlert> wait a sec....what are you saying, hopefully straight man in black leather
<Albacore> It's not my bag, you dig!?
* Stratford grabs a handful of dirt and throws it.
<Albacore> Am I within smiting range, yet?
<CapAlert> oh well
<zompist> alba: yes.
<Albacore> Good. I smite.
<Albacore> Tell me when he's smitten.
<zompist> yes! you smite!
<zompist> or try to!
* CapAlert says a quick prayer, and heads into the fracas
* BlackDeath whips a dirt clod at the back of Albacore's head. "For pete's sake, tunahead!"
<zompist> however, unexpectedly, he jumps sideways and is not smitten.
* Surley thinks to himself.. 'hmm.. he probably has back up.. he was talking to someone.. perhaps I should sneak across and scout to see if I could find them?'
<Albacore> back me up, people. There's no "I" in "Party of Adventurers."
<zompist> heh
* Stratford has Albacore's back.
<Albacore> Well, I try again.
<Ntilde> Oh, okay. I'll cast a magic missile spell at him.
<Albacore> Only this time, I try to do in successfully.
* Surley sneaks around the battle
* BlackDeath has a position kinda to the side, watching with an embarrassed air.
* CapAlert sends the Fernbar golem around to watch for ambush
* zompist looks up people's damn character classes
<Albacore> Though I may die, I will go to my creator happily, knowing that it is for a good cause.
<Albacore> Randomly hitting people.
<zompist> capalert thoroughly misses
* CapAlert sets mace to "NotFuckingMissNextTime"
* ErikGreen attacks quickly with his sword.
<Albacore> If you want, oh naughty one, you can go ahead and explain why we shouldn't hit you as we hit you.
<Stratford> I will beat you half to death with my human femur!
* Surley sees the golem waiting for ambush and decides that that should be enough. Surley Yells a battle cry and attacks with hope of disabling the man in black, so he could tell what he knows to us at a later time when he's all tied up
* Flippy sends a drunk puppy off and resumes attackign the newspaper
<zompist> the man whips out a dagger and injures capalert with it (4 hp damage)
<CapAlert> (and people called /me/ bloodthirsty...)
* Flippy flings wine bottle at man's head
* ErikGreen attacks with a swing of his sword.
* Stratford kneecaps the man with the femur.
* Flippy shreds newspaper in the frenzy of battle
* Surley wields the dire flail and attempts to knock the man on his dagger arm hard enough to make him drop it
<zompist> the man is admirably dextrous, avoids all these hits except one minor blow from surly
<zompist> who however gets nicked by the man'
<zompist> 's dagger (1 hp)
<BlackDeath> "So, um, anything we can help you with, sir?"
* Stratford leaps on the man's back and wrestles him to the dusty trail...
<Albacore> I vow something.
* Flippy runs in for a few cheap kicks
* Surley uses his pickaxe to try and snak the man's legs out from under him
<Surley> snag, even
* ErikGreen throws Flippy at the man in black.
<Ntilde> What's this guy got that we need?
<Surley> information
<Flippy> A release of tension?
<Flippy> He knows where Elfstar is
<Surley> that, too
<Albacore> We can get information from him when he's dead.
* CapAlert puts away his mace
<CapAlert> I see this battle will server none of us
* Flippy gives the leather man a wedge
<Stratford> NO, Albacore! He must be alive to get information!
<CapAlert> er, serve
<Flippy> sever
<zompist> surley manages to get a good hit in on the chap.
<Albacore> Nonsense. I'm sure he writes things down.
<zompist> on the chaps, in fact, as his pants are leather
<Albacore> He probably has a "to-do" list or something.
<Albacore> I'm still hitting.
<ErikGreen> shopping list!
* Flippy wallops man with dead women's shoes
<zompist> albacore mightily misses
<CapAlert> "_ Buy new dagger _ Get more leather cleaner _ Betray and kill party of ragtag adventurers"
* Surley holds his pickaxe ready to pierce his skull and loudly demands the man to surrender!
* Stratford goes to strike the man in the head with the human femur.
* Flippy steals the man's to do list
* Ntilde parries, or whatever the hell it is that magic users do when they don't have good weapons
<Albacore> I continue to hit until I do so successfully so let me know.
<Stratford> Nice, Flippy, you're a real asset to our group.
* CapAlert holds his holy symbol out and prays for oeace
<CapAlert> peace
<zompist> the guy wallops flippy on his big empty head (2 hp)
* CapAlert prays for fewer typos
* Flippy stumbles off
<ErikGreen> snkkkt
<zompist> the guy tries to attack alba and misses
* Flippy finds the drunk puppy again
<zompist> dumb guy
* ErikGreen goes in to stab him yet again.
* Stratford sarcastically advises Flippy to steal the man's wallet.
<Flippy> I'm ten feet down the road with a barfing canine.
<Flippy> I'm not going back in there.
* Surley does some nifty nunchuck action with his dire flail and tries to whack the guy in the head so he'd loose conciousness
<zompist> albacore manages to stab the man, though not vitally
<BlackDeath> "So, really, anything we can help you with? Latte? Eyeball?"
<Albacore> Hey, good.
<Albacore> I'm working on it.
* Stratford inflicts more damage on the stab wound.
* Flippy flings drunk puppy into the fight
<Albacore> I continue in that vein.
<zompist> you try, but the man's dagger finds one of yours
<Albacore> But I try it with a cool spinning-around jedi movement.
<zompist> isn't that clever? 4 hp damage and a lot of messy blood
* CapAlert casts cure on Albacore
* BlackDeath steps into the woods for a moment for a potty break.
<zompist> i don't think you can do that in a melee
<Flippy> Jedi moves aren't a garuntee for success
<CapAlert> oh
* ErikGreen tries to cover Alba.
* Ntilde fills in the magazine subscription cards with the guy's name
<BlackDeath> Me or cap?
<Stratford> His name is...Johnny Cash?
*** wabewalkr (rgm@sdn-ar-004casdieP029.dialsprint.net) has joined #spinnwebe
<CapAlert> both
* Surley tries again tho whack they guy in the head with his flail
<BlackDeath> No, I'm not in the melee. I'm still over here.
<BlackDeath> Watching.
<Surley> hey wabe
* CapAlert sighs, and pulls out the mace again
<Albacore> Can we get some magic over here?
* Flippy sits by the road and reads monk porn
<zompist> he evades all your blows except albacore's
<CapAlert> heya wabe
<wabewalkr> Oh, the D&D thing is still going on?
<zompist> yowzuh
<CapAlert> yeah, sorry
* Flippy smacks man over the head with rolled up monk porn
* CapAlert tries real hard to sound sincere
<Flippy> "DIE ALREADY!"
<wabewalkr> No prob. I'll come back when sanity has been restored.
* Stratford again attempts to kneecap the man in black.
<CapAlert> in 2004?
<Flippy> 3004
*** wabewalkr (rgm@sdn-ar-004casdieP029.dialsprint.net) has left #spinnwebe
<Albacore> I'll keep whacking away. Maybe I'll feint or something.
<zompist> surly ends up on the wrong side of a dagger. 3 hp
<CapAlert> ok, so I'll help with the whacking
<Surley> dang it!
<Surley> That's it!
* ErikGreen goes in and slashes and dices.
<Albacore> There's like whole bunches of us.
<zompist> jeez, albacore is getting all the good rolls. he hits the guy again
<Albacore> We should be able to take him down.
<Stratford> Let's dogpile him!
<maime> I'm gonna laugh when he kills you all.
*** hockeyfag (~stud@nic-167-c199-96.mn.mediaone.net) has joined #spinnwebe
* Flippy grabs a knee and bites
* Surley holds the flail in the left hand and the pick axe in the right and opens up a (figurative) can of whoopass!
<Albacore> It's due to clean living and a holy nature. I try to get a gut shot in.
<zompist> funny you should say that, erik. he swipes at you with a dagger, connects. (2 hp)
* Ntilde casts his last magic missile spell on the guy
<zompist> however, you manage to get a piece off him while he's injuring you
<Stratford> Get that dagger away from him!
<zompist> ok! boom! one of the magic missiles bursts nicely on his head. he looks dazed a moment.
* Flippy kicks him in the nuts
* CapAlert helpfully reminds NTilde about the auto-hit nature of Magic Missile
<CapAlert> yay
<ErikGreen> woohoo!
* Surley whack him on the head with the flail while he's dazed
* BlackDeath returns from her break with a piece of chocolatepie and hands the DM a piece.
<zompist> albacore, overachieving as always, gets a solid swipe in
<CapAlert> GET 'IM!
* Flippy kicks him in the nuts again
* Stratford violently tackles the man while he's dazed.
<zompist> yum!!!
* CapAlert sets the mace to "SUBDUE"
<hockeyfag> ummm..do I want to know what I walked into?
<Surley> "Subdue the enemy!"
* ErikGreen goes in, bleeding all over the man while swiping.
* Flippy steals his wallet and his women's undies
<zompist> the femur bounces off the guy's armor
<Stratford> KILL!! KILL!! KILL!!
<Albacore> And you guys said I was repulsive, useless, and likely to wake up with a dog's dick in my mouth.
<CapAlert> hock, we're beating up a guy in black leather
<hockeyfag> ah
<CapAlert> We may use you in his interrogation
* Flippy checks on where the drunk puppy went off too
*** spinn (spinn@216-80-13-106.d.enteract.com) has joined #spinnwebe
<zompist> surley connects, but he hasn't concentrated his ji enough, and does little damage
<zompist> the guy looks fairly weak now, but he's still pissed
* Stratford engages the man in hand to hand combat.
* Flippy flings his wallet into a ditch
* Surley whacks him again with the flail while screaming "FUCKING SURRENDER ALREADY!"
<Albacore> Ji?
<zompist> he evades strat AND flippy and hits albacore for 2 hp
<Surley> Ji.. like Chi, but for dwarfs
<Albacore> Surrender now, while you still have a chance that we might stop attacking!
<zompist> ji, chi, same diff
<spinn> well this is sorta working, lessee
<Albacore> What about chai?
<zompist> "it's not going as well as i'd hoped," he admits, "but my instructions didn't include surrendering."
<Albacore> I focus my chai.
<Stratford> Surrender now, or we'll end up killing ourselves while killing YOU!
<Surley> "Instructions from who!?"
<Albacore> Did you instructions specifically include dying?
* ErikGreen goes in one more time fling around blindly.
<zompist> he nicks a little more (1 hp) off surley
<ErikGreen> flinging too.
* Flippy runs off into the woods to help the drunk dog pee without dying
<Flippy> bbiam
* Stratford tosses the femur at the hand with the dagger.
<zompist> the guy thinks a moment, then dashes out of the melee.
<Surley> "Son of a Halfling!"
* CapAlert takes a swing, hoping to knock him out with the BLUNT wqeapon
* Surley throws his pickaxe as accuratly as he can
<zompist> he's in the bushes somewhere off the side of the raod, but you don't see him
<Albacore> No, I said "surrender," not "run"!
<Surley> ..into the bushes
* BlackDeath calls after him. "Anything we can do for you?"
<Albacore> I chase after him.
* Stratford leads the charge after the man.
<Albacore> BlackDeath, try and spot him.
* Surley chases after the man
<CapAlert> um
<Surley> Albacore, you still invisible?
<Stratford> He dropped his dagger!
* BlackDeath launches herself skyward and searches.
<zompist> capalert gives him a nasty knock with his mace
<CapAlert> have Fernbar track him
* Stratford snatches up the dropped dagger.
<zompist> can't see through the trees, blackdeath
<zompist> no, he didn't drop his damn dagger
<zompist> he's wounded, but not stupid
* Surley tries to follow the trail of blood
<zompist> ok, you find him
<zompist> "can't we just get along?" he asks
<ErikGreen> um, no.
<Surley> "Sure.. now where is Elfstar?"
* ErikGreen slashes him yet again.
<CapAlert> Waitwaitwait
<Albacore> I check to make sure he's still evil.
<CapAlert> guys
<Stratford> "Erik! Maybe he has something to tell us!"
<CapAlert> in-terr-o-gate
<zompist> 'sok, erik misses
<zompist> he's no eviller and no gooder than before, alba
* BlackDeath starts throwing dirt clods at her party members again.
<BlackDeath> "Will you STOP?"
* Ntilde asks what his deal is
* Surley holds Erik back
* ErikGreen growls...
<zompist> alba, are you attacking or wimpily talking?
<zompist> not to influence you
* CapAlert casts Cure at Albacore, while striking up conversation with the leather guy
<Surley> "Care ful, man! If you don't tell us what you know, I'll use this on you" Surley sais while shaking a disturbed Erik
<Albacore> Okay. I'll wait.
<zompist> no, i need to know if alba is attacking. it makes a lot of difference to whether there's any conversation happening
<zompist> ah thanks
<Albacore> But I get dibs on the killing if it comes to that.
<CapAlert> ok, deal
<Ntilde> I ask what he's doing here.
<Albacore> Okay, you scum. Tell me this!
<BlackDeath> "Have you seen a half elf come this way?"
<Albacore> Do you have any to-do lists?
<zompist> "i was waiting for you, dipshits."
<Surley> Alba, was just scanning for evil?
* CapAlert decides too many other people are talking to the guy, and goes and sits with Black
<Surley> "What for, dirtwad?"
<Ntilde> "Waiting for us? Why?"
* BlackDeath offers Cap a slice of pie.
<Albacore> Hey, now. Don't swear at the holy.
<zompist> "to give you a message."
<Albacore> We weren't the ones wearing homoerotic clothing and being somewhat evil.
<Stratford> "What is the message?"
* CapAlert bets BlackDeath on whether or not someone gets a chamberpot poured on them
<Surley> "Okay.. what message?"
<Ntilde> "Oh. Why didn't we ask earlier? What's the message?"
*** SIGNOFF: PyroP!syntax@syr-24-95-184-57.twcny.rr.com (syntax: Leaving)
* BlackDeath has a flashback and edges farther away from the group.
<zompist> "isn't it more pleasant when we parley like honest men, not that that's what we are?"
<CapAlert> It's fun to pretend!
<zompist> "you fighting people are so impetuous."
<Surley> "I'm an honest dwarf.. honest and angry dwarf.. go on"
<zompist> the guy knows a lot of two-dollar words like that
<Ntilde> "Hey, it was their idea, not mine."
<Albacore> That was the message?
<Stratford> "We sometimes like to spill blood mindlessly."
* CapAlert tosses the leather guy a flask. "So what's your name?"
<zompist> "yeah, yeah. well, as your mostly-orc doofball said, i wasn't sent here to die."
* ErikGreen growls again...
<zompist> "though i will if necessary."
<Albacore> ...or convenient...
<Ntilde> "How many sides were on the die?"
<zompist> "i was sent to warn you away. i guess the intimidation factor is a bit low right now though."
<Surley> "Well, we're not killing the messenger... right now, anyways.. what's the message?"
<Surley> "Warn us from what?"
<Albacore> I gotta warn you, right now your die-o-meter is heading into the red.
<Albacore> Warn us away from what?
<zompist> "the message is, stay away from elrei, or you'll get hurt."
<Albacore> From whom was the message?
<zompist> "hurt much more than your elf is already, was the particular kicker."
<Albacore> How could we get hurt?
<Ntilde> "The hell if I know where Elrei is."
<Albacore> What's an elrei?
<Surley> "And why would we get hurt?
<Albacore> And where's that to-do list?
<CapAlert> but we just want to give Elrei what we owe them!
<Ntilde> "Yeah! Where /is/ our elf, anyway?"
<zompist> "really? how much do you owe them?"
<CapAlert> a lot
<Stratford> "Elrei must be exterminated, with blood staining the lands!"
<Surley> hush!
<ErikGreen> grrrrrr...
<CapAlert> He means "We gotta pay them, and stuff"
<zompist> "'cos hell, if it's that..."
* Flippy wanders into the melee. "His list said he was to buy pie and warn us off!"
<zompist> the guy thinks.
<Flippy> "Too late."
<Albacore> Who gave you the message, scumbag? Huh, dirtsack? Tell us that, lambchop!
<CapAlert> "Maybe book them for a gig"
<zompist> "no, you're right. better not give the money to me."
<zompist> "you're sending some real mixed messages here, folks."
<Albacore> Cough up the info, puff daddy!
<CapAlert> it's an adrenaline thing
<Surley> We owe Elrei some money for a gig they did. They ran off, seemingly in a bit of trouble before we could pay them. Our contract demands that we pay them"
<Albacore> Tell us what we need to know, honey pie!
<Flippy> And smack them around a bit!
<Albacore> You have lovely eyes.
<zompist> "our information is that you're out to loot the band. if you can. the gig at fred's bar, you know."
<zompist> "don't play coy, i was there."
<CapAlert> oh, that.
<CapAlert> well, see, that was a big misunderstanding
<zompist> "there wasn't any talk of giving us things then."
<Surley> We don't want to loot the band.
<zompist> "them, i mean."
<CapAlert> we said "Root for the band"
<CapAlert> not loot
<zompist> heh
<CapAlert> easy mistake to make
*** SIGNOFF: hockeyfag!~stud@nic-167-c199-96.mn.mediaone.net ([x]chat)
<Albacore> WHO GAVE YOU THE MESSAGE?
<Surley> hush!
<zompist> "heh. and the reward for returning fred's bimbo?"
<zompist> "not interested in that at all?"
<Flippy> I am!
<CapAlert> oh, well, sure.
<zompist> "i understand you set a duck on fire, too."
<CapAlert> who wouldn't be
<Surley> mmm.. bimbo
<CapAlert> Wew thought the duck was a kitten
<Albacore> Where's Elfstar?
<CapAlert> s/Wew/we/
<zompist> "yeah, yeah. well, like i say, the message was 'stay away or you might get hurt.' let's consider it delivered, if not believed."
<Surley> He's insane. I mean who in their right mind would set a duck on fire.. and anyone who sets a kitten on fire should ahve a pickaxe slammed through their skull
<zompist> the guy thinks some.
* Flippy smacks Leather-man in the back of the head
<Albacore> Why should we believe you?
<CapAlert> well, if we stay away, we might stiull get hurt. We could slip in the shower or something
<CapAlert> it's a rough world
<Albacore> Or we could choke when feeding on your steaming entrails.
<CapAlert> c'mon, would a cleric like myself lie to you?
* CapAlert looks pious
<zompist> flippy fails to recall that the man is still armed, and of a higher level than he
<Albacore> Unless we chew them really well.
* Flippy hides behind albacore
* Stratford restrains Flippy with a boot to the neck.
<zompist> he twists to avoid flippy, and gives him a nice welt on the arm (2 hp) for his trouble
<CapAlert> hey, nice move there
<Albacore> Ooh! Ooh! That's it!
<Albacore> I'm back in the fray.
* CapAlert rolls his eyes
* Surley holds back Albacore
<zompist> "do you always let your dwarf dictate your moves?"
<Albacore> He's obivously breaking the bounds of parley or something.
<Albacore> Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
<zompist> "oh, sorry, half-elf."
* CapAlert whaps Flippy with his mace
* Flippy screams wildy and kicks Stratford in the knee
<Surley> Yes he does
<CapAlert> nicely
<zompist> er, surly, how hard are you holding onto albacore?
<Flippy> I was hiding like a coward, not attacking you goons!~
<CapAlert> in a love-tap kind of way
<Surley> very
<CapAlert> anyhow
<Stratford> "Um, ouch."
<zompist> ok, for the moment, yhou succeed in restraining albacore.
<Surley> I'm trying to talk to this man
<Albacore> I'm trying to gain some XP and make the planet nicer.
<Surley> "So how did you get in with Elrai?"
<zompist> "the problem, really, is that there's too damn many of you. i see that now. we were arrogant."
<CapAlert> "Can we try out?
<Surley> You'll gain some XP when we encounter some truly evil badnasty
* Flippy starts a fire. With Stratford's spare undioes.
* ErikGreen has a martini to calm down.
<Albacore> If you're not part of the lynch mob, you're part of the problem.
<CapAlert> snkkt
<zompist> "you're not exactly on the way to making friends with the band."
<Stratford> "Where was the band last seen?"
<zompist> "attacking me, for instance. for goodwill, that was right out."
<CapAlert> well, see, it's a whole Random Acts Of Violence thing that some of us are into
<Albacore> You know, if this guy was an orc, you'd have jumped him.
<zompist> "last seen? hmm. personally, i saw them in vyat last week. they fuckin rocked."
<CapAlert> well, sure
<Flippy> We DID jump him!
<Surley> Fine, truth is, all we want is just our money back.. they could keep the rest of the stuff they 'earned' at the gig. Oh, and the bimbo. Sound reasonable?
<Stratford> "Who was the opening act(s)?"
<Albacore> that's not the point!
<Flippy> Well, we advanced slowly then attacked
<zompist> "band named southwind. they sucked."
* BlackDeath offers him a friendly piece of pie.
<Surley> Yea, we're all touched by chaos
<Albacore> I'm just saying, that when the (3/5) orc wants to attack the HUMAn, then everyone holds me back.
<Stratford> "Yes, they're on par with Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park."
<Ntilde> Southwind? Was this a Kansas tribute band?
<CapAlert> ...the human that probably could kick our asses
* ErikGreen offers the guy a martini.
<Surley> Heh, With a name like Southwind, they gotta suck
<Albacore> We were doing great! We were hurting him! We made him run!
<zompist> the guy rolls his eyes. "yeah, like that band of limpdicks is worth imitating."
<ErikGreen> snkkkkt
* Flippy wonders when the killing will start again
<Albacore> And NOW look what you've gotten us into! EXPOSITION!
<Stratford> "You should really get that stab wound treated...you're gushing blood!"
<Surley> Sigh
<zompist> the guy mockingly hums "wayward son"
<Surley> snkkt
<zompist> "oh. your elf."
<Surley> yea, you seen her?
<CapAlert> yeah
<zompist> "look. we got a problem."
<Stratford> "You'll have to excuse Flippy."
<Flippy> "Too much exposition."
* Albacore goes off and sulks as only halfbreed orcs can sulk.
<CapAlert> see, that's the whole thing. We're all cranky because ourt cycles are synched, and we miss our elf
<zompist> "you kill me, you probably don't find her. that's kind of bad for you guys."
<Flippy> Hey, I'm just sitting here at a fire made of burning undies
<ErikGreen> kill?
* ErikGreen growls again.
<zompist> "at least, so we assumed, though the logic didn't seem to hold to you guys."
<zompist> "er, so they assumed."
<CapAlert> logic?
*** spinn (spinn@216-80-13-106.d.enteract.com) has left #spinnwebe
<CapAlert> what is this lo-jik of which you speak?
<zompist> "so, i want to get out of here alive. not followed. also, not dead."
<Albacore> My thought is that if we kill you, we can find her FASTER.
<Surley> yea, we have a problem with this thing you call logic, but what the hey..
<Ntilde> "We want Elfstar back!"
<BlackDeath> So, do you have Elfstar? Or do you just know where she is?
<Flippy> Fire!
<zompist> "yeah, i tied her up comfortably."
<CapAlert> oh
<CapAlert> any pics?
<Flippy> Give!
<zompist> "she'll be fine if she's found within a few days."
<Albacore> That's awful! You tied up one of our comrades and...what kind of rope did you use?
<zompist> "hemp."
<Flippy> Was she wearing leather?
<Albacore> And, how many?
* Surley calls BlackDeath off away from prying eyes to explain a plan
* ErikGreen wants that hemp rope!
<CapAlert> Hey, I'll tell ya what. You tell us where she is, and, well, we'll, um, give you this bottle of finest scotch!
* CapAlert holds up the bottle of acid
<Albacore> Was this just a hand-and-foot job, or did you wrap them all around her supple body?
* BlackDeath goes aside with Surley
<zompist> "elves are hard to keep tied up, as i'm sure an orc knows."
* Flippy holds the drunk puppy over Stratford's head and shakes widly
<zompist> "you're mostly orc, aren't you?"
<Flippy> shakes it wildly
<zompist> "like, what, 3/4?"
<Ntilde> "Was she making misspellings?"
* ErikGreen is %100 Dwarf.
<Albacore> PRetty close. Can we kill you now?
<zompist> "not if you want your elf back."
<Surley> "I'll borrow Ntilde's invisibility scroll and turn you invisible and once the man is released, you use your raven sences to follow him to his lair. Then you tell us where it is and we rescue Elfstar. Sounds good?" He whispers
<Albacore> Look, there's no way you can be a help to us with the elf.
<Albacore> Because if you tell us where she is, we won't believe you.
<Stratford> "We'll give you Flippy for the girl."
<zompist> "fuck your elf," he explains. "she's my ticket out of here, is all."
<CapAlert> oh
<Albacore> And if you go with us, I'll kill you once we find her.
<Albacore> So let's just kill you now.
<BlackDeath> "He can see through invisibility, Surley."
* CapAlert repeats his offer of "scotch
* ErikGreen growls again and pulls his sword.
<ErikGreen> fucker.
<zompist> "i tell you where she is, you kill me or follow you."
<Albacore> What?
<zompist> "er, follow me. that was confusing, eh?"
* Albacore scratches his warty head.
<Stratford> "Folks, let's just FOLLOW him."
<Albacore> Right. You die either way.
<Albacore> So there's no reason you're going to tell us.
<Albacore> So this is just a stalling tactic.
<Flippy> Just follow the fucker already!
<zompist> "oh, fuck it. she's under the bridge over at chuza."
<CapAlert> yeah, let's, uh follow
<Albacore> Okay.
<Albacore> Now what?
<Surley> "BlackDeath, he only saw through the invisibility after Alba screamed 'Charge' and attacked, dropping the invisibility spell" (Invisibility spell aparrantly wears off if there's combat, at least Surley perceived so)
<Albacore> We know where she is, SUPPOSEDLY.
<CapAlert> how far away is that?
<ErikGreen> can i attack him now?
<ErikGreen> or no?
<Flippy> What direction is Chuza?
<CapAlert> no
* Flippy draws back sword millimeters from man's face
<zompist> chuza is 2 hours away. south.
<Albacore> Which way is south?
<zompist> well, kind of west-southwest at this point.
<BlackDeath> "Er, no, he pretty much pointed out that he saw the invisible guy."
<CapAlert> ok, Black, go check
<CapAlert> we'll wait here with Wonderkind
* BlackDeath heads south.
* Flippy runs west-southwest, screaming and waving his hands
<zompist> the guy knocks flippy's sword away with his dagger
<Albacore> Can I attack now?
<Stratford> "We can follow the expressway if we wanted to."
<Flippy> See above
<Surley> no attacking. The nice man gave us the directions to Elfstar. If she's there, we'll let him go after we take him along with us. If she's not, we make it hurt."
<BlackDeath> Or, west-southwest.
<zompist> "what makes you think i'm going with?"
<CapAlert> you're not
<CapAlert> you're staying right here till Black gets back
<zompist> "i'm not tied up here, i'm sitting looking at you with a fine dagger."
<BlackDeath> How long by how the raven flies? :)
<Albacore> You see? He WANTS to fight.
<zompist> "and you've all but said you'll kill me anyway."
<Albacore> Killing him would be a mercy.
<CapAlert> I did not! I offered you, uh, scotch
* ErikGreen is with albacore.
<Flippy> DOGPILE!
<zompist> "see, killing me is just not good as motivation."
<Albacore> Okay, that's three.
* Flippy sneaks back, grabs sword and half empty wine bottle and heads off to get something drunk
<Albacore> I'm going back in with the sword.
* Stratford calls for temporary peace treaty.
<zompist> surley, are you still holding him?
<zompist> or trying to?
<Surley> "Well, I think we can let you live if Elfstar is there.. also if you know any particular monsters we can slay and treasure we can obtain.. that would be a plus."
<zompist> "oh, sure. go to erruk."
* CapAlert looks at Erik
* BlackDeath scouts the terrain as well as she flies straight for Chuza.
<Surley> zomp, he went off to sulk and I was talking to BlackDeath
<zompist> "all the fuckin monsters you fighting types could ever want."
<zompist> oh right.
<Albacore> I wouldn't trust this guy to give us directions to the bathroom.
<zompist> so, are you 3 attacking?
<Albacore> He's wearing BLACK LEATHER.
<Albacore> What more do you need?
<Surley> so does trinity
*** mdxi (~mdxi@mdxi.hom.net) has joined #spinnwebe
<Surley> and Morpehus
<CapAlert> mmm...Trinity
<Albacore> Plus, he scans at least partially evil.
<Flippy> I'm getting a baby orc drunk in the woods. I'm not attacking
<Surley> partially.. there's a chance he might go good.. maybe if he went to be reformed by monks
<Albacore> Flippy wimped out.
<zompist> just need to know if we're meleeing here.
<Albacore> So? There's a chance the sun will explode. I'm a paladin, not a bookie.
<Surley> True...
<Albacore> I won't attack. Yet.
<zompist> the sun explodes!
* Flippy swings in on vine, heading straight for somebody or other
<Stratford> "We're dead."
<zompist> it's a nuclear explosion! hydrogen is turned into helium!
<Surley> The exploding sun does 1d1 damage
<zompist> well, actually it's been exploding all along.
<Albacore> Does my voice get all squeaky?
<Flippy> Just when i gained courage the sun goes nova.
<zompist> i just wanted to say "the sun explodes".
<Surley> it's was a tiny sun, about the size of a goose egg
<Ntilde> Whew. Thanks for the clarification.
* Flippy is swinging straight at ambigously gay leather guy
<zompist> never mind. it's always exploding, that's how suns are. forget it.
<Albacore> Okay. Here's the deal.
<zompist> oh, flippy.
<Albacore> Any weaponsplay, I'm in ther swinging. This is everyone's last warning.
<zompist> too late
<Albacore> Too late what?
<zompist> flippy swings at the guy, who swings back and chops off slippy's arm.
<zompist> flippy's.
<Surley> okay Elfstar's in Chuzza and monster and danger is in Erruk
<Flippy> Aaahh!
<Albacore> Okay, NOW I'm attacking.
<zompist> 1 hp left for flips
* ErikGreen jumps in with albacore!
* CapAlert sits down under a tree and eats his pie
<Stratford> "Can we kill Flippy now? Please?"
<Albacore> See/ All you pacifism just got Flippy's arm chopped off.
* Flippy pulls out Stratford's wine bottle, sterilizes the wound and jabs it in the underwear fire for three seconds.
* Stratford joins Erik and Albacore in the attack.
<Surley> I would have chopped off his arm myself
* Flippy then faints, well out of the way
<Albacore> Okay! Now we're talking!
<Albacore> Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
<zompist> no you're not, you're fighting.
<zompist> or were. you win.
<Albacore> That was quick.
<Albacore> I loot!
<Albacore> I loot with a fury!
<Flippy> I snore!
* Surley sighs, but looks at interest for possible items that'll help the party
<zompist> well, he was just a couple of good sword-strokes away from death, and you provided that.
<Flippy> There's a discarded arm over there
<Surley> It's all yours, Flippy
<Albacore> See? If we just did this from the beginning, we wouldn't have to know any information!
<Albacore> Is there anything on the leather body?
<Albacore> I search it real good.
<Stratford> His wallet!
<Flippy> I threw the wallet into the ditch!
<Albacore> Do those pants look like they'd fit me?
<Stratford> "The man's name was Johnny Cash...stupid name."
* Flippy is unconcious with abandon
<zompist> he has on him: two comp tickets to elrei's next show in buyel; a good dagger; a membership card in the docks quarte association; ten gold pieces; a sporting newspaper; lunch
* CapAlert finishes his pie, and puts a tourniquet on Flippy's stump
<Surley> Anyone want to heal Flippy? Going once, twice....?
<Albacore> What's for lunch?
<Stratford> "Let him die, Surley!"
<Flippy> Shit, I'm fucked
* ErikGreen takes the dagger and the ticket to the show.
<Ntilde> I don't have a heal spell. Besides, he'll just get into more trouble later on.
* CapAlert lights a small fire and cauterizes Flippy's stump
<Albacore> I'll take the gold and the pants.
<Flippy> Again! Ow!
* Stratford takes the other ticket.
<Flippy> I mean, "Again? Ow!"
<Albacore> Maybe all the woodland creatures he got drunk will help him.
* Surley takes the newspaper and the docks Quarte association card
<Albacore> I'm taking off my pants and putting on his pants.
<Ntilde> I'll take the gold pieces, since no one else wants them.
<Albacore> I already got the gold.
* Flippy drools
<zompist> capalert slips on some leaves and seriously burns flippy
<Surley> whatever the heck a 'Docks Quarte association is'
<ErikGreen> snkkkt
<Surley> heh
<Ntilde> Oh. Never mind.
* Flippy wakes up and flees back to the road, stopping only to get his arm
<Surley> is flippy dead yet?
* Stratford claims Flippy's severed arm as another weapon.
<Albacore> Are my pants off yet?
* Flippy is in a tug of war with stratford.
<zompist> flippy is at 0 hit points.
<Surley> can we use flippy as a weapon?
* Ntilde casts a spell of reading this more carefully
<Albacore> I'm 3/5th orc, but I'm all man.
* Flippy kicks Stratford in the nards and flees to the road with the arm
<zompist> flippy is basically comatose
<Surley> Anyone willing to play Kevorkian with Flippy?
<Albacore> Is that like pinochle?
*** maime is now known as kevorkian
<Stratford> Flippy is departing from the script again.
* Flippy hopes no one will drive a cart over him, him being sprawled in the middle of the road
* kevorkian gives flippy a nice big juicy shot
*** kevorkian is now known as maime
<Surley> snnkt
<zompist> i read that as snot
<Albacore> If Flippy evil?
<Flippy> It doesn't work if you put it in the chopped off arm
<BlackDeath> "Save his eyeballs for me!"
<Surley> BlackDeath, you can eath all of him up
<Surley> eat
<Flippy> I'm still alive, fuckers!
* Ntilde wants it to be noted that if he isn't here, nobody else plays him
<zompist> albacore: your detect evil shrugs helplessly.
<zompist> heh
<zompist> flippy: not very
<Ntilde> Especially not someone who's going to attack with reckless abandon.
<zompist> he mostly attacked with a sword
<Albacore> Is there such a thing as careful abandon?
<Flippy> There's a script?
<Albacore> ".....yay?"
<zompist> oh, btw, the docks quarter is basically the thieves' neighborhood in verduria.
<Surley> Hey, Cap. Can ya do me a favor and heal some of my wounds.
<zompist> it's long been suspected that the association is a racketeer-influenced and corrupt organization.
<Albacore> Okay. I'm sleepy now. I need to go to bed shortly.
<Flippy> If you heal me I won't hide behind people anymore. (That gets them pissed off for some reason)
<Surley> No, it wasn't the hiding behind people
* CapAlert cures Surly
<Flippy> Was it flinging the wine bottles at the enemy?
* BlackDeath pauses for a short rest break after the first hour of flight.
<Surley> Thank ya
<zompist> are you people just sitting here? or heading somewhere?
<CapAlert> waiting for Blackdeath to get back
<zompist> and are you going to bury this poor guy?
<Flippy> I'm sprawled in the middle of the road.
<CapAlert> fuck him
* BlackDeath is en route to the bridge.
<ErikGreen> to hell with the bugger.
<ErikGreen> he's a shithead.
<zompist> cap: he's DEAD! you PERVERT!
<Surley> Leave him to the birds
<CapAlert> I'm a Cleric, remember?
<BlackDeath> Speaking of which?
<zompist> speaking of birds
<CapAlert> heh
* Stratford knocks out CapAlert for having necrophiliac thoughts.
<Surley> We wait until BlackDeath returns
* Flippy is dreaming of an alternate reality
<ErikGreen> well, do we get any EXP.?
<Surley> Yes
<zompist> here's the deal. i need to discuss with b.d. what she finds in chuza.
<Surley> And we got info on where we can go to get more.. once we rescue Elfstar
<zompist> do you want to play more tonight?
<mdxi> you all get Windows XP.
<Flippy> No body better get any points for attacking me!
<zompist> either way is fine with me.
<maime> I'm going.
<ErikGreen> up to you.
<Albacore> I, personally, need to take the non-dirt nap.
<CapAlert> I think we've caused enough senseless bloodshed for one evening. Plus, Flippy's dead
<Surley> nite aims
*** SIGNOFF: maime!dollasauru@dialupH199.ptld.uswest.net (kiss me goodnite, I'm outta here.)
<Ntilde> zomp: I'm getting kind of tired.
<Flippy> I'm comatose!
*** SIGNOFF: tieboy!notmydesk@user-vcaurfi.dsl.mindspring.com (Ping timeout)
*** SIGNOFF: tieboy signed off at 00:03
<zompist> oh, did someone take the thief's dagger?
<Flippy> I'm pining!
<Surley> Flippy's in a much needed coma
<Ntilde> Besides, we've done enough senseless attacking here.
<ErikGreen> me!
* CapAlert nods at Surly, points to Flippy
<Flippy> bye you people who left
<CapAlert> yeah, I'll grab it. It might be cursed
<Albacore> I don't do daggers. They make me feel all thiefy.
<ErikGreen> i took it, zomp.
<ErikGreen> that and a ticket.
<CapAlert> oh, Erik has it
<zompist> erik said he took it, cap
<ErikGreen> with the lunch.
<zompist> heh. ok, i'll assign experience. rave, stick around. :)
<Flippy> This is gonna be good
<Surley> I already have two good heavy weapons
<Surley> And a few cheapo swords I haven't sold yet
<ErikGreen> all i have is a cheapo sword.
<zompist> and a dagger
<Surley> Erik, you have the dagger now
<Flippy> I have a sword and an arm in my hand
<ErikGreen> as of now.
[Preparation]
[Suicide Squid]
[What's his mime type?]
[Why orcs avoid living here]
[Why-a no chicken?]
[To catch a thief]
[Rock and Troll]
[How To Be Rutabagan]
[Gargoyles Just Want to Have Fun]
[Let Me Entertain You]
[The Arm-bone's Connected to the Sword-Bone]
[Space Opera Quest!]
[Is Mary Sue too damn perky or what?]
[Beware of bears bearing wares]