The Story So Far : Slugs of mead and meat of slugs

[Preparation] [Suicide Squid] [What's his mime type?] [Why orcs avoid living here] [Why-a no chicken?] [To catch a thief] [Rock and Troll] [How To Be Rutabagan] [Gargoyles Just Want to Have Fun] [Let Me Entertain You] [The Arm-bone's Connected to the Sword-Bone] [Space Opera Quest!] [Is Mary Sue too damn perky or what?] [Beware of bears bearing wares]

* zompist sets the scene
* zompist cues up some song about bears
* zompist was eating chocolate raisins, reached for more, and almost ate the d&d dice
<Adry> Mmm.. diceriffic
<Ntilde> Great. We'd have to wait for your next movement before the characters could do their next movement.
<zompist> ok, here's the sitrep, as an annoying nerd friend of mine used to say.
<Surley> chocolate covered dice
<Adry> So, what's going on, now?
<zompist> you're enjoying a quiet few days in beautiful, tiny chironash, verduria
<LeeHarveyKemlo> what about the bears?
<zompist> through surprisingly careful dm preparation, you now have everything you need to solve the problems of the cave, confront elrei, and achieve fame, booze, riches, and hawt sex.
<BlackDeath> Okay, so we're heading back into the cave?
<Surley> mm.. Mary Sue
<Surley> She still owes me a sexual favor
<Adry> Can I talk to a bear?
<zompist> adry, there's bears aplenty around here
* Trevor goes into the cave and steals the first thing he gets his hand on.
<Adry> but will they speak to me, or are they the uppity sort?
<Surley> They're everywhere, man! The walls, the ceilings! Everywhere!
<BlackDeath> They're tour guides, Adry.
<Surley> Game over, man! Game over!
<LeeHarveyKemlo> they're the sort that would take your head off with a sweep of a paw, if you mouthed off.
* zompist offers some free advice: there's a very strong clue in raven & ntilde's exploration of the cave
<BlackDeath> Can we get everyone down there?
* CapAlert reads up on what he did
<Surley> let's recap for the new people
<zompist> there's no way most of you can fit through fat man's trial
* Adry induces vomiting
<Adry> I'm a small woman artist type
<CapAlert> what if I went through horizontally?
<zompist> as opposed to what?
<CapAlert> I'm a dwarf after all
<zompist> problem is, dwarves are short, but about as stocky as humans
<zompist> ntilde fit through 'cos he's an elf
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I could fit through, if I was allowed to widen it with judicious use of a pickaxe
<Ntilde> Hey, yeah, that's right. I figured out that they're playing in Beldan in 5 days and in Ulian in a week.
<CapAlert> right, so what I'd do is...ah, fuggetit
<zompist> elves are thin and willowy and probably gay
<Ntilde> And that they kind of suck at their instruments.
<Surley> but they could dig their way through
* CapAlert drinks some more, and starts thinking up new insults for some of the other party members
<BlackDeath> Did you guys see a river on your walking tour?
<BlackDeath> maybe you could take the river down.
<Trevor> Elves aren't gay, zomp. They
* CapAlert calls Surley a pantywaist for practice
* zompist prepares a clue-by-four
<Trevor> They're just decked out like the Cure, is all.
<Surley> Elves are mostly gay
* Trevor steals more stuff.
* Adry sighs
<CapAlert> hm, river
<BlackDeath> We need to find out what's behind that door with the cloaks,
<CapAlert> you think that'd work, Black?
* Surley checks but sees no panty on his waist
* Adry draws surley some dainty, frilly waist panties
<BlackDeath> We'd have to swim at least part of the way.
* LeeHarveyKemlo wanders around and stares at things
<zompist> clue: there's no way elrei gets into that cave the same way you did
<Adry> I could draw a raft
<BlackDeath> Okay, who *can* fit?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Could they have bribed the bears?
<BlackDeath> Let's go back in and find the other entrance.,
<CapAlert> hang a sec....what's that service entrance thingy
<Ntilde> What are we planning to do to Elrei when we find them in the cave, anyway?
<Adry> SO Elrei are really bears in disguise?
<BlackDeath> I'd like to find out what was in that room.
<CapAlert> beatings. lots and lots of beatings
<Trevor> Can I get in through that door?
<zompist> adry: no-- the bears are the park rangers of chironash royal park
* CapAlert points out a service entrance found by Xengar
<LeeHarveyKemlo> but can they be bribed?
* Trevor attempts the service entrance.
<Surley> yea, they like money.. and probably squirrels
* zompist urges the party to think about equipment and objects they have
* CapAlert gives Lee a jar with "Hunny" written on thew side
<Adry> I have a translator
<Adry> and a pen
<Ntilde> I still have the "Check Engine" light from the spaceship, but that doesn't help anything.
<Trevor> All I have are some maps and what little pr0n survived the gargoyle adventure
<Trevor> I think
<Trevor> Oh, yah, and raisins
<Trevor> Motherfucking raisins
<zompist> any other foodstuffs?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I have a lot of poisons, some of which have psychoactive effects
<zompist> that one's obscure; but there's another object that might be of use
<CapAlert> whussat Jelly stuff?
<Trevor> Shrooms, Harvey?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> the suntan lotion?
* BlackDeath plays her piccolo while she waits.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> trevor - yes, fresh crop.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Three make you see pretty colours, five make you fall over dead.
<CapAlert> what's seral jelly?
<Adry> kind of like my cousins
<CapAlert> it gives you blowjobs?
<BlackDeath> the crap we used to heal the space captain
<CapAlert> cool
<Adry> NO
<zompist> secretions of the thingorids; good for what ails you
<CapAlert> oh, ok
<Surley> I thought I traded the jelly for some other stuff...
<Adry> damnit, I should be in seattle.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> with tmr?
<Adry> nah
* LeeHarveyKemlo is guessing
<Adry> I bet they have talking bears in seattle
<zompist> they're called "bums"
<Adry> Ah.. bums... we don't have those here
<LeeHarveyKemlo> then what keeps your legs attached to your torsos?
<Adry> lots of love
<Surley> I have a pick axe, a assassin card, an oxy-field, and tanning lotion. What's my McGuyver attribute rating?
<Trevor> There's a McGuyver attribute?
* CapAlert sighs
<Adry> what's my highest attribute?
* Surley tries to assemble a bomb from some rocks he found and a gum wrapper, but fails miserably
<LeeHarveyKemlo> trevor - well, not really, but you can make one out of some paperclips and snot
<CapAlert> ok, I give. I'll just follow Blackie
<Ntilde> Hmm. We have a piccolo; would that be useful?
* BlackDeath heads down the service entrance.
<Surley> Ntilde, only at band camp
* BlackDeath keeps an eye out for hidden doors.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> actually, I could prolly use it for a blowpipe
<LeeHarveyKemlo> except I'm not that good at blowpipes
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Adry?
* Surley looks for bodies of water he could use the oxy field to traverse
<Adry> I could put paint in it and blow onto a canvas
* Adry shrugs
* Ntilde follows BlackDeath down the service entrance
<Surley> Adry, did you do anything with a piccolo at band camp?
<CapAlert> *snap*Snap* Walking down service entrance
<BlackDeath> Do we have any thieves?
<zompist> oh, you have to tell me: did you all wait a week for surley to get martial arts training?
<Trevor> It depends. The noisy woodwind or the slow-moving alien that's almost there?
<Trevor> Death: Yup.
<Trevor> Speaking... what do you need?
* CapAlert turns to Blackdeath. "Dunno, did we?"
<LeeHarveyKemlo> yes, we did
<zompist> xengar is a thief; lee harvey is kind of a specialist thief
<BlackDeath> "Keep an eye out for hidden entrances as we go down."
<LeeHarveyKemlo> that's when I got time to restock my poisons
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I'm more of an assassin, but yes
<LeeHarveyKemlo> fresh mushrooms
* CapAlert is a dwarf. He watches out for hidden liquor caches
* Trevor follows BlackDeath
* Surley tries out his Hidden Tiger flying moves..
* Adry just follows
* LeeHarveyKemlo follows behind
<zompist> ok, you go to the service entrance
<Trevor> CapAlert, look for Mary Popping Jesus, okay?
<Surley> We could also do a frontal attack, by digging out the cave with a pickaxe
<Ntilde> Um, if we waited for a week, then why are we going into the cave? Elrei is in Ulian now.
<zompist> however, you find a big fat grizzly laid out in front of the door
* CapAlert belches at Trevor
<Adry> "Couldn't I just, like, draw a door? There's no guarantee where it would lead, but..."
<zompist> with sunglasses on
<Surley> or we can light the tanning lotion on fire and toss it like a molotov
<Adry> Oh, those look like my sunglasses
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "Hey, nice sunglasses. Who's your optometrist?"
* Adry checks her pockets
<Trevor> Does it speak any languages?
<Adry> you told me we couldn't have sunglasses
<zompist> "dude, you're blocking the rays," the bear tells lee harvey
<Surley> Blackie has a wig
<zompist> adry: yeah, but you're not a bear
<CapAlert> duh
<Surley> and some foil?
<BlackDeath> "Do you mind if we pass, good sir?"
<Adry> Ah, indeed
<Surley> and a talking box
<Trevor> "Can we get through?"
<Ntilde> "Please?"
<zompist> the bear points to the sign on the door, which clearly reads BEARS ONLY
<Trevor> "Sorry about that... It'll only take a minute."
* Adry sits down next to the bear and scratches behing his ears. "Hi, hun. I'm Adry."
* Trevor is a bear, euphemistically speaking
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "Actually, if you eat some of these mushrooms, you'll see that we ARE bears."
<Adry> "And you are..?"
<Surley> Adry could draw us a scene with her magic pen of us standing over the dead severed heads of Elrei
<zompist> the bear sighs.
<zompist> "dudes an' dudettes, the tour and stuff is over in that direction," he says, waving a paw.
<Surley> cue LeeHarvey gets eaten by a bear in 5...4..
<zompist> "tourists," he mutters to himself.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "Want some shrooms? Fresh."
<zompist> "did you say salmon?"
<Trevor> "Whatever"
* CapAlert decides to let the others get eaten by the bear, and sits to think for a minute
<Trevor> "What's on the tour, anyhow?"
<Surley> do we have salmon.. or perhaps some lox spread?
* BlackDeath retreats behind a tree with Cap.
<zompist> the bear sniffs at trevor
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "Salmonberries, and some trout fingerlings."
* Ntilde backs off to avoid getting eaten as well
* Trevor nonchalantly backs away slightly
<zompist> "all you got there is musharooms, dude. nothin' like salmon. that's a fish."
* BlackDeath stands on Cap's helmet and throws the Elrei cloak over both of them, trying to look bearly.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "I got caviar.... dried fish eggs..."
<zompist> the bear laughs
* CapAlert growls menacingly
* Surley jumps high into the air only to land gracefully in a tree
<zompist> "that is one heinous outfit," he says.
<Trevor> BlackDeath, all you need is leather and body hair to look like a bear
<Surley> s/land gracefully/ get stuck in some branches/
<LeeHarveyKemlo> it'd also help if she lost the beak and feathers
<zompist> "but it's like, i know you're not a bear, so don't fuck with my head."
<BlackDeath> trevor : that's what the all-encompassing cloak bit takes care of.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "Well, hell, it was worth a shot, eh?"
* CapAlert offers the bear a drink, and walks away
* Surley wonders if LeeHavey as a bear would resemble BooBoo
<zompist> what sort of drink?
<CapAlert> mead
<CapAlert> made from honey
<Ntilde> Hunny?
<CapAlert> mmm-mm-good
<Trevor> "So what's on the tour? You never said..."
<zompist> "ooh, dude, thanks," says the bear.
<zompist> he drains the cup of mead in one gulp
<zompist> "bodacious suds," he comments.
* BlackDeath prepares to go back in the long way if cap's idea doesn't work.
<CapAlert> Oh, no problem. I make it myself. It's a temple thing. We're a sect of brewers
<LeeHarveyKemlo> dammit, next time you give him a drink, let me spike it FIRST.
<Trevor> "Thinking out loud again, CapAlert?"
<CapAlert> Glad you like it. There's more if you want. I hate lugging it all around
<zompist> "lay it on me, dude."
<Adry> Dude, you're, like, so totally bearly and stuff. mind if I draw your picture?
<CapAlert> Well, all I have left on me isd the flask. I left the rest at the coat-check room, back near the park entrance
<CapAlert> Here
* Surley walks up to the bear
* CapAlert jots down a quick note
<CapAlert> You can give this to the guy at the gate, he'll show you where the keg is
* Adry scratches behind the bears ears again
<Surley> "I can offer you this bottle of tanning lotion if ya kindly move to a better spot"
<CapAlert> Just leave one for Elrei
<LeeHarveyKemlo> quick, while he's reading the note, give me the mead and i'll add mushrooms
<CapAlert> You know how they get when they don't have booze
<zompist> the bear chuckles. "man, it's dwarf day at the gate or somethin'."
<zompist> he chugs down the rest of capalert's mead
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "Oh? Lots of dwarfs today?"
<Surley> "And any other help you need. It's very good tanning lotion"
<CapAlert> Here, I'll watch the door for ya, if you want to go grab the rest
<zompist> the bear snatches the tanning lotion so fast that he almost gets a few of surley's fingers
<Surley> Yeah, we dwarfs are very promiscuous
<zompist> "dude! this is totally cool. it's so hard to get this stuff."
<CapAlert> Hey Surley, didn't you leave the rest with the mead kegs?
<zompist> "what are you dudes doing anyway?"
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "We're just wandering around, doing random adventure stuff."
<CapAlert> Oh, dropping off some mead for Elrei, and getting some other stuff from them
<Trevor> "I'm not quite sure anymore..."
<Surley> "We're going to go find Elrei.. um.. what do you think of them?"
<CapAlert> There's plenty of mead though. I'm tellin ya, they won't miss /one/ keg
<zompist> "they're kind of fucking up the west cavern."
* BlackDeath brandishes her piccolo. "We have to get these deliveries to them before their next gig."
<Ntilde> Fucking it up? How?
<zompist> the bear sits up, applies tanning lotion.
<Surley> "You want to help us get rid of them, Mr. Bear?"
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "Here, let me get that spot between your shoulder blades"
* Adry scrambles away from the bear
<Surley> eww.. gay bear porn
<CapAlert> Oh whew, good thing Blackie. I thought we lost that. Ailura would be PISSED if we had lost her custom-made piccolo
<Adry> IS kemlo seducing the bear?
<zompist> "we believe in conevration... conservorism... carnivoration... in keeping things green, man."
* LeeHarveyKemlo rubs tanning lotion on the bear's back, and holds up a dagger meaningfully.
* CapAlert sighs at Lee
<zompist> "they've got living spaces and imported monsters and all kinds of shit."
* BlackDeath gives Lee the DON'T. PISS OFF. THE BEARS. look.
<zompist> the bear swats lee harvey away with a casual backhand
<zompist> "damn mosquitos," he says.
<Surley> "We can tackle the monsters and stuff.. I'm sure that you can help with your sharp pointy claws and stuff.."
<zompist> "i'll show you where they live."
<zompist> he gets up and wanders down the trail
* CapAlert dopeslaps Lee
<CapAlert> now git
* CapAlert follows the bear
<Trevor> "Please, man..."
<Surley> "Cool"
* Surley follows the bear
* BlackDeath follows the bear.
* Ntilde follows the bear in an elf-like manner
<zompist> this is the trail you saw the monks on, but you're going the other way now, away from the tour entrance
<CapAlert> whussat, mincing?
<Surley> A non-gay elf manner?
<Adry> sadly the cross eyed bear?
<zompist> you come to a fork in the road; he heads right
* Surley goes right
<Trevor> Ntilde, are you flitting?
* LeeHarveyKemlo picks up his dagger, brushes off some dirt, and hurries after the others
* CapAlert suggests Blackdeath follow from a distance of 30 feet straight up
<Ntilde> Yes, non-gay, you homophiliacs.
* BlackDeath takes to the air.
* CapAlert follows the bear
* LeeHarveyKemlo has clean underwear
<Adry> I'm a hemophiliac. don't hit me!
<zompist> about half a mile down the road, he points out an area where the dirt on the side of the road is scuffed up, and the bushes are kind of ratty
<Surley> I bet there's hawt elfgirl on elfgirl pr0n in this world
<zompist> you would hardly have noticed it if he hadn't pointed it out.
<CapAlert> Rats. Why did it have to be ra- oh, ratty. My bad
<Surley> heh
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I guess the Pope *is* Catholic.
<CapAlert> Oh man, this is going to be SO much easier to carry in the kegs
<Surley> "This leads to their living quarters?"
<zompist> "that's the entrance to west cavern, dudes," says the bear.
* CapAlert gives the bear his last flask of dwarf spirits
<Trevor> "What are their living quarters like?"
<CapAlert> Thanks man, you saved us a LOT of hassle
<Surley> "You sure ya don't want to come join us, Mr. Bear?"
<zompist> "gotta go, though. gotta catch the rays while they're still out, y'know?"
<zompist> he wanders off down the trail
<Adry> through all that fur?
<CapAlert> <to Lee> and you wanted to kill him.....sheesh
* CapAlert waves Blackdeath down
* zompist has to admit, that clue would've been a lot easier to catch if anybody knew "travels with farley"
<Trevor> "Somehow, I think he'll want to kill a lot of men in a future life"
* Adry slips something in kemlo's water flask while he's distracted
* BlackDeath lands on Cap's helmet.
<BlackDeath> "Let's go!"
<CapAlert> waitasec
<CapAlert> thief guys
<CapAlert> check out the area for traps, etc
<CapAlert> Somehow I doubt Elrei leaves the door unlocked
<Adry> what would a trap look like?
* Adry wanders enar the entrance
<zompist> ka-chunk! like that!
<Adry> Noo!
* LeeHarveyKemlo points out several places that would be suitable for traps
<CapAlert> but...do..they...contain...traps
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Oh, I wouldn't know. Just that those are good spots for them.
<zompist> adry comes back limping, with a big mousetrap on one foot
<Adry> limping CUTELY, damnit
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Is it a poisoned mousetrap?
<zompist> adry doesn't look very dead or dying
<Adry> I'm getting better
<BlackDeath> Try kicking Lee with it.
* Ntilde gently opens up the mousetrap to free Adry
* Adry gives lee a good kick int he shin
<zompist> you succeed
<LeeHarveyKemlo> let me have a look at that mousetrap.....
<LeeHarveyKemlo> nice craftwork.
<Adry> *sniffle* thanks, enyuh
* Ntilde lets it snap on Lee's finger
<Ntilde> "Oops."
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Can I pick out the big spiky metal part?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> to use later?
<Adry> On the bright side, maybe that was the only trap?
<CapAlert> hey, good job trap searching there thievy folk
* Adry starts to head back towards the entrance. La, la, la la
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "Doubtful. Here, pass me a stick...."
* BlackDeath heads in.
* LeeHarveyKemlo takes a tree branch.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> "There could be a trap.... THERE....
<LeeHarveyKemlo> or THERE....
<zompist> ok, you penetrate the bushes
<CapAlert> nice euphem- URK
<zompist> and, not far from the road, the earth rises up into a hill
* LeeHarveyKemlo is poking at suspicious spots with a long stick
<Adry> you said "penetrate"
<Pontiac> Wow, we've regressed back to middle school.
* BlackDeath looks for an entrance to the hill.
<zompist> you notice that the scuffy spots on the ground end right in front of the hill
<Adry> as per usual, my dear
<CapAlert> regressed? hell, that's a double promotion
* Ntilde thrusts, parries, then thrusts again
* CapAlert saunters into the hedges
* LeeHarveyKemlo winces
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Hedges are a good place to hide garrottes
<zompist> there's a shiny thing like a coin on the rocky side of the hill
* Surley carefully goes forward
* CapAlert , being a dwarf, looks for entrances into the ground
<Adry> I bet you're getting thirsty, lee
<Ntilde> Ooh, shiny.
<Trevor> garrottes kcik ass
<Trevor> kick ass, I mean
* Ntilde heads straight for the shiny thing
<Surley> Noo.. shiney could be a trap!
* Trevor ducks in front of Ntilde and blocks her
<Adry> Or it could be shiney!
<LeeHarveyKemlo> let me poke it with a stick
* Ntilde is a him, dammit
<Trevor> you do that, Kemlo
<zompist> lee harvey pokes it with a stick; this masterful assassin technique does nothing visible
<CapAlert> have you ever actually assassinated anyone before? Or just in the simulator?
* Adry puts on her spectacles and looks for writing, or impressions, or fingerprints
<Adry> or bacon
* Trevor attempts to steal it
<Pontiac> HA HA HA!
<zompist> man, i was thinking no one had ever played text adventures
* Ntilde examines the shiny thing for writing or whatever
<LeeHarveyKemlo> moment
<Trevor> Put on goggles
<zompist> someone finally looks closely at the shiny thing. it's a hand-sized metal plate, set into the rock.
* CapAlert says "PLUGH" in a hollow voice
<Adry> I have my spectacles and my sun spectacles
<zompist> it has an I-shaped indentation.
<Surley> Too bad we can't detect evil at the shiney thing
<zompist> which is either decorative, or functional, or just the verdurian letter "e"
<Ntilde> You know, if we're trying to get into the cave, I bet this thing opens it.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> well, dammit, if you wouldn't keep telling me to not assassinat people...
* BlackDeath presses on the plate.
* Ntilde gives it a quarter-turn clockwise
<Surley> e is for elrei.. push it!
* BlackDeath lets Ntilde go first.
<Adry> maybe there's an "l"
<Adry> do we have to assembles the name?
<CapAlert> o/~ E is for El-rei...that's good enough for me... o/~
<zompist> the thing refuses to turn, push in, snap, click, or anything.
* Ntilde practices his "Avon Lady" voice
<zompist> lousy user interface, huh?
* CapAlert knocks
* LeeHarveyKemlo lights a torch.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Or we could burn them out.
* Adry curses the shiney thing
* BlackDeath plays the piccolo, in case it's a musical lock.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Assuming we had fire that would burn rock.
<zompist> there's definitely a hollower sound in part of the rock face
<CapAlert> oh, hey
* Surley tries inserting his Docks Assn card into it.. or at least sliding it through the I slot
<Adry> play an E chord
<CapAlert> piccolo
* BlackDeath plays an E.
<CapAlert> is the piccolo, say, I-shaped?
<Pontiac> I loved that Brian Piccolo, man, and...sorry. :-)
<Trevor> You and your damn Verdurian
<Trevor> Your Verdurian everything
<BlackDeath> (piccolos can't play chords. :))
<Trevor> The Verdurians are taking over, I swear
<Adry> Oh, well then!
<Trevor> Verduria, Inc.
<Pontiac> A division of Conhugeco.
<BlackDeath> cap : sans serif, sure.
<zompist> the piccolo does not neatly fit into the lock, thus not opening the door and not letting you not into the not cave
<Trevor> Wholly owned and operated by the Communist Conhugeco Party Liberation Army
<CapAlert> well, that was also meant as a question for our illustrious DM
<CapAlert> and he answered my question
* Trevor tries to pick the lock
<CapAlert> in a condescending manner
<Adry> I thought it was an indentation, not a hole
<zompist> it wouldn't be adventure without cocky error messages!
<CapAlert> true dat
<zompist> yah, it's an indentation, a finger's width deep
<CapAlert> "XYZZY!"
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I think I still have some rock-creature poison. It might eat away the lock
* Adry jams her translator into the indentation. maybe it'll translate locks or some shit
<LeeHarveyKemlo> or the rock around the lock
<BlackDeath> The cloak doesn't have a badge on it, does it?
<CapAlert> badges? BADGES?!
<Surley> Adry, if you could sculpt us a key with your X-acto..?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> do I have any left?
<CapAlert> WE DON'T NEED NO STI- eh, too obvious
<Adry> out of what, exactly?
<BlackDeath> wood?
<zompist> the logo on the cloaks looks a lot like this little metal circle
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Adry - or you cou
<LeeHarveyKemlo> with your magic pencil
* CapAlert examines the grate carefully, summoning forth all his dwarven sk1llZ
<Adry> Ok, let me go forage for something soft..
<Adry> or not
<LeeHarveyKemlo> or you could draw a key with your magic pencil
<Surley> did we get a logo from a cloak the last time?
<Adry> or I could kick your ass with my magic foot of kickingness
<LeeHarveyKemlo> the clasp from a cloak
<Adry> what cloaks?
<CapAlert> You guys never got the bird into the cage, or got out of the twisty passages...
<zompist> blackdeath stole an elrei cloak
* BlackDeath tries the clasp in the lock.
<zompist> no go, blackie
<Surley> what if you turn it
* CapAlert tries the lock in the clasp
<zompist> nyet
* Ntilde puts de lime in de coconut
<CapAlert> ok, back to the close examination
<Adry> That's it.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> adry - irthe demon in adry's pen
<Adry> I'm drawing one
* Surley is getting to the point where he'll try to use the pickaxe on the metal plate
<Surley> don't draw a key
<Adry> I'm thinking
<Surley> unless it can open anything
<CapAlert> a skeleton key. but we'll need a skeleton...
<Surley> including chest cavities of various naughty band members
* CapAlert peers around
<Surley> was the cloak clasp too small?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> draw the key in the lock, with the door swung wide open
* Adry takes out her quill and draws the scene in front of her, with the exception of the door being open
<Surley> do'h
<zompist> the entire scene darkens, as netherwordly forces converge to blot out the very light of the sun
<Adry> yay!
<Surley> you should have included at least a big pile of money or weapons next to a tree or something as well
<CapAlert> right. back to the mead
<zompist> then they go away
<zompist> and when the light returns, lo, the scene is as before, yet there's a big hole in the rock wall
<Surley> well.. that is one way of doing it..
<zompist> a tinny demonic voice from the quill mutters "nine left"
<Surley> choose wisely
<Surley> I wonder what would have opened the door...
* Adry shoves some bacon into the quill. good deamon
* CapAlert infravision-peers into the hole
<zompist> the door of the cave is a huge rocky circle, with the metal plate in the middle of it.
<CapAlert> good ol dwarven infravision. Not that prancing elf stuff.
* Surley stares into the blackness
* Trevor goes shopping in the Nine Left quill
<zompist> dwarves have infravision?
* Trevor attempts to loot the Nine Left quill
<CapAlert> yeah, all that underground living
* Adry attempts to slice trevor into bits
<Adry> why is everyone ONTO me today. geesch
* Trevor attempts to liquefy Audry
<Adry> DON'T MESS WITH ME, DWARFY
<Surley> onto Adry?
* LeeHarveyKemlo stabs Trevor in the shoulder. That's a warning.
<CapAlert> huh? Trevor's a dwarf?
<Adry> what is he?
* BlackDeath moves into the cave just to get away from the nuts.
<Adry> ORCY
<CapAlert> yeah, good call
<zompist> well, shiver me timbers and all that, they do.
* CapAlert goes with Blackie
* Pontiac puts a firm hand on Kemlo's shoulder and says "There will be no violence right now. Or I'll kill you."
* Ntilde heads into the cave to escape the infighting
* Surley goes in
* CapAlert starts taking bets on the fight
<CapAlert> 20-1 on Lee
* zompist gets out the cavern map
* Adry stomps off into the bushes to cool off
<zompist> you find: A CORRIDOR!
<Adry> I'll catch up
<Trevor> Mostly ork. A cherokee in there somewhere
* Pontiac calls his bookie.
<Surley> Look, a corridor!
<zompist> well, a rocky earthen-type caverny passage
* LeeHarveyKemlo cleans the dagger and puts it away.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I hope we understand each other. Want some shrooms?
<Surley> Check for traps someone
<BlackDeath> "Thieves, keep an eye out."
<Trevor> Sure. Why not?
<Adry> Ooh, traps?
<Pontiac> Watch it, Trevor, he pissed on those shrooms earlier.
<Trevor> Nevermind... dammit, never time for shrooms when they're offered
<BlackDeath> adry : you have to enter first.
* Adry rushes back to join the party
* CapAlert helpfully points out that the thieves are slightly occupied elswhere
<Adry> I caught up. I'm caught up. I found some bark
<LeeHarveyKemlo> ARF
<zompist> you walk down the passage and come to a widening which you might call a room.
<zompist> there's a time clock on the wall, and a little stand with coffee and donuts
* CapAlert peeks around the corner in a 3 Stooges fashion
<BlackDeath> "This is where I got the cloak!"
<Adry> I bet they have time clocks in seattle. really nice ones
* BlackDeath swipes another donut.
* Ntilde checks the time cards
<Ntilde> What are the names on the time cards?
* BlackDeath points across the river at the other exit. "Giant ants in there."
<Surley> let's go kill us some giant ants
* CapAlert points to someone else "You go first"
* Pontiac blindly charges in first.
<Surley> then we can eat their flesh and gain their strength
* LeeHarveyKemlo takes the time clock and disassembles it.
<BlackDeath> THere's only the four of us. Has everyone else caught up?
<CapAlert> yyyeesss...that's right, you can
<Pontiac> Anybody have any Raid?
<Adry> wait, I need to check for traps\
<BlackDeath> sure, I don't see why the hell not.
<zompist> actually the cloaks are in the passageway opposite you, but yeah, this is where you were before, blackdeath
<zompist> ntilde: you find the band name's members, and also various roadies, accountants, dope dealers, fences, etc.
<CapAlert> hookers?
<Adry> they do drugs?
<CapAlert> <perk>
<Adry> terrible, terrible people
<Adry> I forgot why we were following them
<Pontiac> No actual dope, DM?
<Ntilde> Any groupies?
* BlackDeath tries to open the big metal door.
<CapAlert> well...
<zompist> not here in the vestibule, at least.
* CapAlert points to Lee
<zompist> the big metal door is the one that adry opened
<LeeHarveyKemlo> yes?
<CapAlert> sigh...nemmind
<Adry> see how usefull adry is?
<BlackDeath> Someone opened a door?
<CapAlert> yes. Let's not eat her
* Adry waits for someone to pat her on the head
<BlackDeath> whuh? I missed that....
* Surley pats Adry on the head
<CapAlert> it's how we got in the cave
<Adry> thankee
<Surley> a challenging thing for a Dwarf to do
<zompist> you missed the netherworldly intervention?
<Adry> well, I'm short for a human
<BlackDeath> OH. damn, didn't realize.
<zompist> you'll just have to wait for raven to put up the logs
<CapAlert> birdbrain
<BlackDeath> my bad.
* BlackDeath sticks her tongue out. "I was thinking of this place from the last time I was here.
<Surley> Hmm.. can we divert the giant ants to attack Elrei.. perhaps with some serial jelly?
<zompist> so, you hanging around with the time clock all night...?
<CapAlert> dude, milk goes on serial, not jelly
<BlackDeath> ANything else on this side of the river?
<Ntilde> What are the exits from this room?
<CapAlert> no...what are our options
<zompist> there's just one exit, northwest
<zompist> sorry, northeast
<BlackDeath> There is a river through the room and on the other side is the Giant Ant Exit.
<BlackDeath> IIRC.
<Surley> I bet the ants will follow the jelly
<CapAlert> ah, k, I thought he was someone else sol
<LeeHarveyKemlo> anyone want some coffee, before I poison the urn?
<zompist> if anyone's mapping, the entrance you came thru is s.e.
<CapAlert> What's a greecian urn?
<Adry> I don't think he captions udner that nick anyway
<LeeHarveyKemlo> cap - about forty drachma
<CapAlert> thank you
* zompist drinks some coffee and has a donut
<CapAlert> ok, let's go see the ants. As long as my Uncle Frank isn't there, we'll be ok
* Adry runs to the little artists room
* CapAlert goes to get another beer
<Adry> don't kill anything w/o me
<zompist> right ho. you traipse through the cloak-lined hallway, except for ntilde, who minces elfishly
* LeeHarveyKemlo poisons the coffee
<zompist> you come out into a largeish room, with an underground river flowing through it, blocking the far exit.
* BlackDeath flies into the giant ant room, staying well clear of them, to scout.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> just in case any of Elrei comes through here and is thirsty
<Trevor> I'll kill with or without you
<zompist> the giant slug that's beyond the river snaps at blackdeath as she flies past
* BlackDeath hovers at the exit. "Can you guys swim it?"
<BlackDeath> "AAAAH!"
<zompist> missing her, as it turns out
* BlackDeath dodges.
<CapAlert> good thing I have the beer!
* CapAlert sets out a plate of beer for the slug
* Ntilde plants a giant hosta and assumes the slug will eat it
<CapAlert> anything else around the room?
<zompist> cap, you had beer AND mead?
<zompist> now that's provisioning!
<CapAlert> say, tables, chairs, canoes?
* BlackDeath tightens her blades and hangs back to help the party.
<CapAlert> I'm a dwarf
<CapAlert> duh
<zompist> cap: yes, there's quite a bit of horse poop
<LeeHarveyKemlo> BlackDeath - can you carry a vial of poison?
<spinn> any tequila?
<Surley> Let's kill the giant slug!
<BlackDeath> lee : yes.
<CapAlert> nah, I drank the tequila while waiting for the bear to eat Lee
* zompist starts rolling up hit dice
<Adry> my bacon has some salt content
* LeeHarveyKemlo passes BlackDeath a vial of poison
<CapAlert> oh, but hey, I might have some salt left
<LeeHarveyKemlo> let's see if this works
<Surley> Is there any rock salt around?
<Ntilde> There might be some salt in the kitchen.
<zompist> well, on the "rock" part, sure
<Pontiac> o/` Get your rock salt, get your rock salt, honey... o/`
<zompist> no salt
* BlackDeath rises well above the slug and uncorks kemlo's vial, careful not to touch any of it while dumping.
<Pontiac> No rock salt, but plenty o' rock candy.
<Trevor> poison, then?
<Surley> d'oh
<Trevor> Wait... the shrooms were pissed on. Would those work?
* CapAlert flings some poop at Trevor
<zompist> while dumping? eeeeeewwwwwww.
<Surley> I don't know.. the slug looks plenty psychotropic itself
<BlackDeath> Man, what happened to us. We used to just hack the crap out of everything and saute it up later... *sniff*
<zompist> the slug reacts, startled, as a vial of poison lodges in its back
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I'm a professional. I don't kill for fun, I kill for money.
<zompist> hwever, it just bites out that portion of flesh and spits it back at you
* Surley readies his pickaxe and g-fly martial arts skills
* BlackDeath ducks the slug flesh.
* Ntilde ducks to avoid the poison
<Adry> Damnit, Zompist. I'm an artist, not a fighter
* CapAlert sets his mace to SALT-CURE
* zompist thinks about putting a giant duck in the next room and seeing if he can get blackdeath to slug the duck flesh
* LeeHarveyKemlo carefully picks up the vial and re-corks it
<Surley> the giant duck will eat the giant slug
* zompist also annoyingly reminds the milling fighters that the slug is across the river
<zompist> that goes for your vial, kemlo
<Ntilde> A giant duck in the river? Sounds like the Wisconsin Dells.
* BlackDeath draws the slug towards the others.
<Surley> Do I have any chi attacks like on Dragonball Z?
<zompist> er.... no
<Trevor> Where's flung the duck slush?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> slugs burn, don't they?
<zompist> possibly
<Trevor> Surley: That'd waste WAY too much of our time
<Surley> a battle taking three months to finish?
<Trevor> No, a finger taking three months to lift
* BlackDeath picks up the chunk of poisoned flesh carefully and returns it to Kemlo. Right between the eyes.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> wait, wait - do I have the vial back, or not?
<Adry> couldn't I just draw the slug, dead?
<CapAlert> no
<zompist> the slug glances at you, then goes back to playing minesweeper
<CapAlert> see, that's what "across the river" means
<Adry> Oh, is it friendly?
<Surley> stoopid slug
<LeeHarveyKemlo> adry - if you do that, then we'll wind up with *two* slugs, one alive, one dead.
* LeeHarveyKemlo calls out to the slug. "Do you take bribes?"
<CapAlert> how deep's the river?
<Adry> Maybe the live slug will go into mouring
<Trevor> Is this a sysadmin slug?
<Surley> I wonder if the slug is a bridge
<Trevor> "Are you a sysadmin?"
<CapAlert> How deep is the river?
<zompist> who knows?
<BlackDeath> cap : "Might be swimmable"
* LeeHarveyKemlo still has a stick that I could poke in
<Surley> Wait a sec.. me and Adry have Oxy-fields!
<CapAlert> ok, so deep enough to not be obvious
<Trevor> "Why are you playing minesweeper, Mr. Slug?"
<Adry> Oh dear lord, he's right!
<BlackDeath> then again, it's deep enough to house a giant slug.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> It might be swimmable, or it might be full of carnivores
<CapAlert> how fast is it running?
<Ntilde> Should I cast the ESP spell right now, guys?
<Adry> and I have a translator. I could talk to it
<zompist> for answer the slug points to the section of the monster manual noting that slugs are non-intelligent
<LeeHarveyKemlo> No, the giant slug is on the other side of the river
<Surley> it's getting bad scores on mine sweeper, too
<LeeHarveyKemlo> well, maybe it only LOOKS like a slug. Maybe it's actually a princess in disguise.
<Trevor> But it's playing minesweeper. That indicates menial sentience, doesn't it?
<Trevor> Just PLAYING it?
<Surley> could we combine our oxy fields to make one big enough for the whole party?
* CapAlert contemplates casting the Silence spell again
<zompist> i didn't say it was winning
* Ntilde is playing Deadly Rooms of Death in the other window
<Surley> No, it's using Windows ME to play Minesweeper
<LeeHarveyKemlo> are there any stalactites in this cavern?
<Surley> good point, lee
<zompist> not really
* CapAlert pushes Lee into the water to check for sharks
<zompist> not every underground room has all that jazz
<BlackDeath> It's in the water, right?
<BlackDeath> a river slug?
<zompist> no, it's hanging around on the opposite shore.
<spinn> any natually-occuring guillotines?
<Adry> how did you get in here?
<Surley> or giant bats?
<CapAlert> I'm telling ya. Plate Of Beer
<spinn> bathroom window
<BlackDeath> Is there a chance to fly past the slug?
<Adry> could we float a plate of beer over?
<Surley> do we even have to cross the river?
<Adry> I have bark
<zompist> blackdeath: probably
<CapAlert> Surley yeah, being the only exit
* BlackDeath tries to get past the slug with the flesh chunk.
<zompist> "flesh chunk"... say that ten times fast
<Surley> Well, me and someone else can try to cross the river with oxy fields
<BlackDeath> "I'm going to see if I can lure the Giant Ants out to take care of the slug."
<CapAlert> that that that that that that that that that that
<ristoril> so you are
<Surley> or Ntilde can fry it with a magic missle
<Ntilde> I could.
<zompist> something about the smell of the flesh, blackie, suggests that you might not want to pick it up any more
<Ntilde> But I won't. I signed a non-aggression pact with it.
* BlackDeath retreats to join the gang.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Well then, doesn't that cover us as well?
* CapAlert punches Lee
<CapAlert> nope
* Surley powers up the oxy-field and wades into the river
<zompist> surley finds that the oxy-field creates a nice surley-size bubble of air for him
<zompist> fiddling with the controls, he finds that he can expand the bubble to fit two people
* CapAlert piggybacks onto Surley
<Adry> so it's working?
* Surley explores the world ... under the water
<CapAlert> DADDY!
<Ntilde> Oh, wait. I didn't sign a damn thing.
* Adry flips hers on and follows
<Trevor> Now that's the fighting English spirit
<Adry> you might want to turn on your doodad
<Adry> it's murky
<Surley> we have no more doodads
<zompist> you gasp in awe at ze marvellous creatures of ze undersea world
* Ntilde casts a magic missile spell at the slug
<Surley> wow!
* BlackDeath watches them from above, keeping an eye on the slug.
<zompist> surley and adry make it to the other side, where, however, there is a giant slug
<BlackDeath> cap is with Surley
<zompist> ah, thanks
<zompist> did anyone come with adry?
<BlackDeath> No
* Adry wets her wet clothes
* Surley gets ready to leap out of the river when the slug is distracted by magic missles and sever it's eye stalks with mah pickaxe
<spinn> I'm a floating head observer off to the left
<Surley> Adry, go back for some fighters!
* BlackDeath distracts the slug with an attack of her own.
<Adry> can I go back?
* Adry rishes back
<zompist> ah good, there's plenty of floating heads to look for over there
* Surley hands Adry his oxy field to bring back more people
<zompist> ok, surley and cap are over there
* CapAlert hurls the plate of beer at the slug
<zompist> the slug, who's not god's brightest creature, turns toward them
<CapAlert> then...the mace
* LeeHarveyKemlo poisons the beer
* Adry makes it out. "who's in?"
* Surley powers up .. er.. leaps and attacks with his pickaxe
* zompist looks up "mace, damage vs. opponent"
* zompist looks up "beer, damage vs. opponent"
<Surley> it's more of a sharp spike..
* BlackDeath has initiated an attack, too.
<Ntilde> How'd that magic missile work out?
<CapAlert> well, damage vs slug is more important
<Adry> so, who's... going over?
* Adry drops off the extra oxy field
<zompist> ooh, triple hits! blackie, surley, and ntilde lacerate, stab, and fry the slug, respectively
<Surley> whoa!
<Surley> we rule
<zompist> it shakes its head angrily
<Ntilde> Whoo!
<Surley> Again!
<Surley> go fer the eye stalks
<Adry> could I draw the slug with a mild headache?
* BlackDeath attacks again, on the side opposite the guys, to split the attack.
*** ristoril is now known as Slug
* LeeHarveyKemlo slices through the eye stalks
<Slug> Grar
<zompist> it's very hard to draw with a headache
<zompist> it makes your eyes hurt
<BlackDeath> Lee, you aren't even over here!
<Surley> easier to draw attached to kittens
<CapAlert> yeah, come
<CapAlert> over
<Surley> lee is slicing through imaginary slugs
<BlackDeath> too many shrooms
* Adry shoves lee into the oxy field
* LeeHarveyKemlo waves a dagger
<Surley> Get lee over here. Slug could be killed by indigestion
<zompist> the slug spits acid saliva at blackdeath-- ptui! (-8 hp)
<spinn> he's practicing the Eye Stalk Slicing technique
<LeeHarveyKemlo> gotta sample my shrooms
<Surley> yipe!
* Ntilde decides to stay on the other side, since he doesn't need to be right there to cast magic missiles
<LeeHarveyKemlo> am I over on the proper side now?
<BlackDeath> "IT BURNS!"
<CapAlert> I would like to whap the slug myself, eventually
* Slug splorches
* Surley attacks the eyes
<zompist> lee and adry come on over and join the fun
<BlackDeath> lee : not through any action of your own, but sure.
* Adry drags lee underwater and onto thew other side
<spinn> heh
<ristoril> anyone have any salt?
<zompist> cap swings his heavy mace, connecting with the slug for some nice damage
* LeeHarveyKemlo slices through the slug''s eyestalks absent-mindedly
* LeeHarveyKemlo takes a moment to remind you all of where the word "assassin" comes from
<CapAlert> asshole?
<Ntilde> Ass?
<Surley> * LeeHarveyKemlo hallucinates that slug's eyestalks crawl over his entire body - runs screaming 'get em off me!'
<Adry> are there any rocks I can throw?
<spinn> double dumb ass on you!
<zompist> hashish, actually
<zompist> but that's not important right now.
<CapAlert> It's a big building with generals, but that's not important reight now
<BlackDeath> "Try not to get so stoned you don't know where the giant slug is, lee."
* LeeHarveyKemlo grooves to the nifty patterns of light on his knife blade
<zompist> xengar, who didn't even know he was here, gets sprayed by slug spit
* Surley takes out his dire flail and uses new double weapon martial arts moves.. or just attacks in a frenzy.. whichever
* LeeHarveyKemlo lights a torch and tosses it into the slug's mouth
* BlackDeath attacks again, shaking the saliva off.
* Adry stabs with her exacto
* Ntilde casts the other magic missile spell
<CapAlert> yeah, lighting a torch is easy in the heat of battle
<zompist> blackdeath swipes a talon through a bit of slug
<ristoril> * Ntilde passes out
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I'm a professional
<ristoril> torch lighter?
* Ntilde plays air guitar along with another King Crimson song
<zompist> the slug swallows lee's torch and gets a very surprised expression
<zompist> ntilde's missile kind of sputters prematurely, doing only a bit of damage
<LeeHarveyKemlo> besides, you guys were distracting it for me while I lit the torch
<Slug> Ack! burns going down.... burns coming out! Ack!
<CapAlert> ah, that's ok Ntilde. I hear it happens to a lot of guys
* Surley tries to squash giant slug with big metal weapons. Hope me make big splat sound
* CapAlert whaps the slug
<zompist> ouch, blackdeath is hit by another slug-gob
<CapAlert> wait
* Adry slashes again with her exacto
<CapAlert> er, n/m...whap the slug
<Surley> blackie, take evasive action!
<zompist> adry slices and dices the slug! whee!
<Adry> yay!
<LeeHarveyKemlo> slug goo should burn moderately well
<Surley> Do we have any giant antacids?
<zompist> capalert manages to meat-tenderize a portion of slug shank, as well
* Surley professes that the pun was not noticed till he hit enter
* BlackDeath attacks again.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> did we manage to sever the slug's eyestalks or not?
<CapAlert> ok, then I'll go see if I can't do some healin' on da boid
* Surley attacks!
<zompist> lee: no, it's kind of shifty
* BlackDeath diverts to cap for a quick heal.
<zompist> surley connects! it's a long, long drive out to right field!
<Surley> It's going back.. back...
* Adry kicks at the slug
<ristoril> * Blackdeath accidentally gouges cap's eyes out
<CapAlert> whoopsie!
* BlackDeath purposefully smacks rist.
<Adry> *punt*
* Ntilde packs a lunch for the long drive
<LeeHarveyKemlo> well, dammit, let's go for its eyes, then
* Surley thinks, since it worked so well last time, to try to attack again!
<zompist> blackie perks right up, with 7 restored h.p.
<zompist> er... surley hits the slug this time; does some tasty damage
<CapAlert> <to black> shall we continue with da whapping?
<Surley> yee ha!
<BlackDeath> "After you, Cap!"
<zompist> it's a shadow of its former self; but since its former self was 12 hit dice, it's still nothing to sneeze at.
* BlackDeath dives back in with gusto.
* Adry tosses some pencils at the slug like throwing stars
* LeeHarveyKemlo whips a throwing star at the eyestalks
* Ntilde would help, but is out of magic missiles
<zompist> blackdeath uses her gusto to gouge out some more slugflesh!
* Surley attacks.. again!
* BlackDeath wonders if slug barbecues well.
* LeeHarveyKemlo picks up a big rock and smashes in the slug's computer
<Surley> Using secret dwarven martial arts.. or just a pickaxe..
<zompist> surley manages to almost deflect a wad of slug-spit with his hand (-1 hp)
<Surley> The slug wasn't playing mine sweeper on a computer.. it was actually sweeping for mines
* BlackDeath does some more slug dicing.
<CapAlert> ok, I'll attack again, too
<Surley> Arghh! My hand
* Surley attacks with furious anger
* Adry slashes some slimy slug
<LeeHarveyKemlo> in that case, shouldn't there be explosions all around us?
<zompist> blackdeath swings by grandly, but does a little damange
<zompist> capalert rolls a lousy 1 hp of damage to el sluggo
<Slug> Sploorch
<LeeHarveyKemlo> okay, look, blackdeath, take this knife, and everyone else distract the slug while blackdeath slices off its eyes
<Surley> just because the slug was sweeping for them, doesn't mean there are mines
* LeeHarveyKemlo passes blackdeath a knife
* BlackDeath ignores the knife.
<Adry> right. the slug is stupid
<zompist> speaking of splorching, that's about the sound the huge wad of acidic slug-saliva makes as it splatters all over lee harvey
<zompist> -9 hp
<Adry> good thing that missed ME!
<Surley> does he melt?
<Surley> massive chemical burns?
<ristoril> which chemicals?
* BlackDeath attacks again.
<Surley> acidy chemicals
<Adry> is he gonna be the Phantom of the D&D?
* Surley leaps and attacks using his death from above move
<zompist> lee is down to 1 hp
* LeeHarveyKemlo drops a chandelier on the slug
<zompist> surley
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I thought I'd gone up a level?
* CapAlert tries to get around to the other side of slug to light heal
<zompist> surley tries some of master lu's patented martial arts moves; does some damage
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Adry, give me your oxy-field so I can get across the river to safety
<Surley> woo!
<Adry> I put you in surleys
<BlackDeath> lee, you're in a coma.
<zompist> no, that's not till 0 hp
<Surley> a melty coma
<zompist> sorry
<BlackDeath> I thought 0 was dead?
* CapAlert offers the knife to Blackdeath again
<Surley> -1 is dead
<BlackDeath> well damn.
* BlackDeath rewrites her mental notebook.
<Surley> there's always a pistolwhippin available to put somebody in a coma
<zompist> 0 is a coma (this is on swdd.html)
<Adry> well. I'm still slashing
* BlackDeath is fighting as well.
<zompist> adry carves her name in the side of the slug
<Slug> squick
* Surley leaps off a bunch of walls in a blur and attacks the slug again!
* LeeHarveyKemlo wades across the river and sits down to watch
<zompist> blackdeath connects talon-ishly
<CapAlert> for this we spent 100 gold? oy...
<zompist> too deep to wade, lee, but you can use an oxy-field
* CapAlert decides NOT to follow Lee across the river with the healing, and resumes fighting
<Surley> Well, it looks cool
<BlackDeath> which adry gave him.
<Surley> smart enemies would be impressed
<LeeHarveyKemlo> well, that's my point. I waded across using the oxy-field.
* Slug curtsies
<zompist> surley slaps the slug hard, for 1 hp damage
<Surley> "Bad slug!"
<zompist> did i mention that it's a big, big slug?
<Surley> s/slaps/bitchslaps
<BlackDeath> "Nice bitchslap!"
<LeeHarveyKemlo> is the river narrow enough that I can hit the slug with a thrown knife?
<zompist> seemingly low on acid, it bites surley (-2 hp)
<Adry> It's coming down hard
<Surley> ow! You slug bastard!
* Slug licks its lips
<Surley> You wanna taste of me!?
* Adry bites surley, too
* BlackDeath goes for the eyes while the acid level is down.
* Surley swipes with his pickaxe
<Surley> Adry.. not now.. later maybe
<CapAlert> DON'T TOUCH THE BROWN ACID
<CapAlert> THE BROWN ACID IS BAD
<zompist> surley does a major number on the slug with his pickax
* Slug s can bite, one might as well assume they have lips too
<Surley> THE BROWN ACID IS FOR LOADING AND UNLOADING ONLY
<Adry> fish can bite
<Adry> so can chickens
<Surley> and ducks
<LeeHarveyKemlo> how many hp does the slug have left?
<Adry> and geese
<zompist> blackie slashes effectively as well-- the slug is definitely sick-looking now, with big bits missing
<zompist> some of them look kind of important, like those heart valves over there
* Slug begins to move even more sluggishly, if that's possible
<LeeHarveyKemlo> maybe if we dump poison on the open wounds?
* Surley trries to whack it with the dire flail or the pickaxe.. or both
<zompist> lee: sorry, only the dm knows. i hint it to you via the descriptions, however.
* Slug oozes
<Surley> to whack the heart valves
<Slug> (more than usual)
* Adry sticks a pencil in one of the valves
<CapAlert> um, I'm WHAPPING over here! Frau-LAYVEN!
<zompist> surley whacks the miscellaneous organs, but being already off the slug, this does no more damage to it
* BlackDeath continues with the poking and the slicing and the dicing.
* Trevor stares in curiosity at CapAlert
<LeeHarveyKemlo> anyone want more poison?
<CapAlert> and da slicing and da poking and OYYYY, hey LAYDEE
<zompist> the slug bites at blackdeath as she flies a little too close (-5 hp)
* Surley tries to put whacked organs back onto the slug.. but then figures it would be easier to rip more organs out and whack them
<LeeHarveyKemlo> can I run back to the other room and get the urn of poisoned coffee?
<Trevor> What, found poppins pr0n?
<CapAlert> yes.
<Trevor> No doubt
<CapAlert> Because that's where one would find Jerry Lewis
* Slug slugs
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Mary Poppins / Jerry Lewis slashfic?
<zompist> cap whacks with his mace through what's left of the slug's head!
<Ntilde> Lee: No. You'd be getting something for free, and a coffee attack is something that must be urned.
<zompist> it collapses in a slimy heap
<BlackDeath> "whoooo!"
<CapAlert> damn, he just doesn't get me at all
* Slug collapses in a slimy heap
* Adry picks up the slugs head and hold it in the air
<Surley> eww.. so.. slimey
<Adry> AIiiieee!
<BlackDeath> "Watch the acid, adry."
* Surley gets his oxy field back from lee
* LeeHarveyKemlo wades back through the river (in the oxy field)
<CapAlert> ok, Lee, git over here
* CapAlert heals lee
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Thank you
<zompist> aw, how sweet
*** Slug is now known as deadslug
* deadslug oozes dangerously
<Surley> soon to be a rotting dead slug
<zompist> when cap says "heal", he of course means "heals as best he can"
<Ntilde> Should I be on that side of the river with you guys now?
<Surley> Oh yea.. now is the time on Sprokets when we look for treeasure
<CapAlert> well yeah
<CapAlert> ok, I proceed over and cast Cure Light Wounds
<zompist> lee is back up to 7 hp
<Ntilde> Someone want to loan me an oxy field?
* Adry tosses hers over
* CapAlert rests a bit
<Surley> and when he says 'heals as best he can', he means 'heals as best as he can with a large rock'
<zompist> you all get yourselves over the river and contemplate the marinated slug
* Ntilde heads over the river in the loaned oxy field
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Om mani padme marinated slug
<CapAlert> sluggy
<Surley> freelance
<BlackDeath> "ANyone got salt for slug jerky?
<Adry> I didn't think the slug was jerky. an idiot, maybe..
* BlackDeath takes a better look around now that the slug isn't distracting.
<Surley> it did spit acid at blackie
* CapAlert slips into a meditative state, handing the remote control over to Raven
<CapAlert> gotta get up early
<zompist> inside the slug intestines, you notice some gold fillings, a condom filled with heroin, and a couple of vials, still closed
* BlackDeath takes a vial and a filling.
<Surley> so that's how they were getting the heroin off the plane
* CapAlert gets the condom
* BlackDeath takes a set for cap, too.
* Adry snags a filling and a blue vial
<CapAlert> PARTY IN A BAG!
* Surley takes a vial
<zompist> that couple of vials went a long way, huh?
* Adry puts hers back
<LeeHarveyKemlo> let me see those
<BlackDeath> Define couple. :)
<Adry> sorry
<zompist> two
<BlackDeath> me and adry then, since cap has the heroin?
<zompist> yah
<Ntilde> Anything else?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> there's the remains of the torch
<Adry> some fillings
<LeeHarveyKemlo> less fillings, tastes great
<Surley> of people's teeth?
* Ntilde grabs a filling or two
<zompist> depends. do you consider slugs edible?
<BlackDeath> nnnnah.
<Surley> probably not acid slugs
<Adry> I do
* BlackDeath will pass on the cookout.
<zompist> they have eyes...
<zompist> big ones!
<Adry> I had to live on these things back in college
<Surley> slug eyes?
<Adry> slugs
<Surley> Ramen slug eyes?
<Adry> you boil them and they puff up
<zompist> well, they have eyestalks, they have to have something to put in them
* BlackDeath pockets the eyes.
* LeeHarveyKemlo eyes the pockets
<BlackDeath> Are we winding up?
<Surley> we need to
<Adry> it's cold
<Surley> How bout we stay for the night here, and roast up some slug steaks
<BlackDeath> "Kemlo, bring ove ryour torches!"
* LeeHarveyKemlo starts some fires
<zompist> ok, you can camp out in the ex-slug till next session.
* Ntilde thinks he'll emerge at level 3.975 or so
<zompist> and then face... the antchamber!
<Adry> antechamber?
<BlackDeath> Giant Ant Chamber.
<zompist> exactly
<Surley> mmm.. slug chamber
<Surley> It's a real fixer-upper
<LeeHarveyKemlo> do i go up a level?
<zompist> of course, now that you've killed the giant slug, cecil adams will need a new artist
<zompist> lee: from 2.2? not very likely
<Adry> do I?
<Surley> So the party settles down for a quiet night of rest, relaxation, and guilt-free sex
<sol-D> nothing is guilt free
<LeeHarveyKemlo> a partial level?
<BlackDeath> level whore! :)
<LeeHarveyKemlo> surley - we've only got one humanoid female.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> and we can't ALL be her cousins
<Surley> and she bit me earlier
<LeeHarveyKemlo> are you volunteering yourself?
<sol-D> I've never been called a humanoid female before. you have such a way with women
<LeeHarveyKemlo> oh, okay. You're not a humanoid female; is that better?
<zompist> you all had your chance with mary sue, but NOOO-O-O-O
<sol-D> NO
<Ntilde> She was capturing us and taking us for a ride!
<Surley> yes.. a ride
<zompist> yeah, a ride, that's what the irish call it
* zompist loved "the commitments"
<LeeHarveyKemlo> she was actually an enchanted squid
<Surley> mmm.. eight armed chick
<sol-D> who can squeeze into any area the size of her eye
<Surley> flexible, too
<sol-D> and slurps out of the water and crawls across the beach to the shallow tidepools
<zompist> mary sue was just trying to save the world and find some romance and move up to lieutenant, but (snif) you had to try to KILL HER
<Ntilde> Yeah. I had to use ESP to get us out of that mess.
<MisterQ> we need more interstellar sluts

Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com

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