The Story So Far : Beware of bears bearing wares (Episodes 132-141 6/28/01)

[Preparation] [Suicide Squid] [What's his mime type?] [Why orcs avoid living here] [Why-a no chicken?] [To catch a thief] [Rock and Troll] [How To Be Rutabagan] [Gargoyles Just Want to Have Fun] [Let Me Entertain You] [The Arm-bone's Connected to the Sword-Bone] [Space Opera Quest!] [Is Mary Sue too damn perky or what?] [Beware of bears bearing wares]

[ BlackDeath and Ntilde split off from the group. ]

<zompist> ok. the tunnel is long, but no real problem for elves or ravens.
<Ntilde> Any paintings on the walls?
<zompist> it eventually widens, and leads into a nice wide area that seems to be used by someone as a kitchen.
* BlackDeath holds the lantern high. "Huh, a kitchen."
<zompist> there's a couple of other exits.
<BlackDeath> Has it been used recently?
* Ntilde starts rummaging around to see if there's food or something
<zompist> yup. there's dirty dishes here, rather outnumbering the clean ones.
<zompist> you can run through several days' meals here if you like.
* BlackDeath examines the other exits.
<zompist> one is fairly large. you can hear music faintly through it.
<zompist> the other is silent.
<Ntilde> Let's check out the one with the music.
* BlackDeath agress.
* BlackDeath covers the lantern .
* BlackDeath proceeds down the music exit.
* Ntilde follows down that route
<zompist> the tunnel leads into a very large space.
<zompist> it's full of musical instruments of all sorts.
* BlackDeath looks in cautiously, curious about the source of the music.
<zompist> you hear music... sounds like a cover of "we are the champions," with several false notes.
* BlackDeath slides in quietly, keeping out of sight behind the instruments.
<zompist> hanging by the entrance, you can see 3 or so musicians playing.
* Ntilde whispers to BlackDeath, "Hey! I think this is their rehearsal space!"
<zompist> you hear a voice. "are there bats in here again?"
<zompist> the music stops.
* BlackDeath freezes.
<zompist> "foogin' bats."
* Ntilde stands very still and as quiet as he can be
<zompist> the music starts again
<BlackDeath> Do we recognize their voices as Elrei?
<zompist> they're not singing
<zompist> but the music sounds familiar, yes
<BlackDeath> They spoke.
<zompist> oh, right. well, you didn't recognize those particular voices.
<BlackDeath> Are there any small instruments around, like a flute?
<BlackDeath> Something one could fit in a pocket? :)
* zompist rummages around
<zompist> yeah, but they're kind of close to a band member
* BlackDeath edges a little closer, trying to get a good look at the musicians, while keeping an eye out for pilferables.
<zompist> there's definitely 3 of them, 2 rather burly men and a thin but dangerous-looking woman.
<Ntilde> How come they can hear bats, yet they're presumably playing loud enough to damage their own hearing?
<Ntilde> They must have sensitive hearing. I'm going to hang back a bit.
<BlackDeath> Someone was whispering.
<BlackDeath> The thin woman scares me.
<BlackDeath> Is the music having those weird effects on us, like at the concert?
<zompist> no.
<zompist> creeping along the wall, you see another exit
<BlackDeath> Can I get to it without exposing myself unduly?
<zompist> sure
<Ntilde> Can I also get to it without being found?
* BlackDeath slides for the exit, going through it.
<BlackDeath> (If nothing else happens, etc. :))
<Ntilde> Actually, I'm wondering what's up. I cast the ESP spell on the woman to read her thoughts.
<zompist> ok. her name is ailura; she's a thief, and plays tenor sax.
<zompist> she's thinking hard about not blowing the next measure
<zompist> she also wishes obad, next to her, would use some kind of deodorant
<BlackDeath> Have I escaped successfully?
<BlackDeath> It sounds like Ntilde is doing better recon with teh musicians.
<Ntilde> Can I find out when their next public appearance is planned?
<zompist> blackdeath: yeah; you go down another tunnel. there's a fork; to the left is a tunnel; to the right is a rock scramble leading downward.
<zompist> ntilde: in beldan, in 5 days; then in ulian, 2 days later.
* BlackDeath flies down the rock scamble.
<Ntilde> Except these guys aren't Elrei, are they? Or are they opening for Elrei?
<zompist> ntilde: yeah, they're members of elrei
<zompist> blackie: the scramble opens up into a large cavern. you kind of recoil at the mass of giant ants on the floor.
<BlackDeath> "Snacks!"
<zompist> not when they're bigger than you are
<BlackDeath> Oh, they're THOSE giant ants!
* BlackDeath keeps her distance.
<Ntilde> Hmm. I wonder what else we need to know about them. Are they planning to attack anyone?
* BlackDeath looks for other exits or anything other than really big ants.
<zompist> yeah, there's an exit across the room, black.
* BlackDeath uncovers her lantern again and checks out the mouth of the exit.
<zompist> ntilde, the esp only lets you read surface thoughts. she's thinking about the upcoming concert, but mostly about the performance.
<Ntilde> Huh. I don't know if there's anything else I can learn from them, then.
<zompist> black: you find another big room, crossed by an underground river.
<zompist> farther on, there's a hallway lined with cloaks hanging on pegs.
* Ntilde wonders if it's possible to follow BlackDeath's exit since he doesn't know where she went
<zompist> and a smaller room with a time clock, a coffeepot, and donuts.
<zompist> ntilde: you can follow her out, but you won't know which route she took ater that
* BlackDeath inspects the cloaks for clues as to their use.
<zompist> they seem like ordinary cloaks
<zompist> but they would, wouldn't they?
<Ntilde> I decide to head out in the direction from which I came, then. She's probably a ways in front of me.
<zompist> there's one more bit of passageway, but it ends in a locked metal door.
<BlackDeath> No coal dust or rubies in the pockets, eh?
<zompist> nothing valuable.
* BlackDeath pilfers a donut.
<BlackDeath> Hmmm.
* BlackDeath takes a cloak.
* BlackDeath shoves it in her pack and returns to the river.
* BlackDeath frowns. Is there a way across the river, other than flight?
* BlackDeath looks for a ferry or anything similar.
<zompist> it's not terribly long-- it enters from a hole in the wall and leaves through another. it might be swimmable.
* BlackDeath takes note and retraces her steps through the ant room and up the rock scramble.
* BlackDeath looks around for Ntilde.
<Ntilde> I think I'm back in the kitchen by now, or someplace like that.
<zompist> after some careful flying around, you find him in the kitchen
<BlackDeath> Nooo, I'm still at the junction outside the music room.
<BlackDeath> Because I want to grab an instrument on the way through.
* BlackDeath flexes her wings and makes sure everything is secured.
<BlackDeath> Okay, here's the dealio....
<BlackDeath> I'm gonna come in low and tight, grab a portable instrument and make a beeline for the kitchen.
<zompist> or a ravenline
<BlackDeath> First, I need to know how big the tunnel was.
<BlackDeath> Would I be able to glide in it?
* Ntilde hangs out in the kitchen and checks for chocolate or candy or anything else
<zompist> the tunnels are pretty big-- they're big enough for humans to walk in.
<BlackDeath> flapping would be too much, but would a glide be manageable?
<BlackDeath> Oh, then after the kitchen I go straight into the tunnel, flying/gliding.
<BlackDeath> It's a sharp, sweet hit and run.
<zompist> oh man, you lucked out. no one saw you.
* Ntilde starts thinking it would have been cool to steal something, but that the band probably would have noticed
<zompist> you pick up a piccolo and fly into the other tunnel.
<Ntilde> Besides, thievery isn't my specialty.
<BlackDeath> Woot!
<BlackDeath> It was near the band, so I was worried.
<BlackDeath> Okay, I'm heading out of the tunnel. I assume Ntilde saw me.
<zompist> they had a pretty good chance to spot you, but you rolled low. :)
<BlackDeath> And knows.
<Ntilde> "Hey, BlackDeath. Got a piccolo, eh?"
* Ntilde follows BlackDeath out the tunnel

[ Meanwhile, back at the ranch.... ]

* Xengar comes back.
<Xengar> Any sign yet?
* Surley picks at a structurally non-essential non-loadbearing stalactite
* LeeHarveyKemlo sits down again.
<Xengar> I found some stairs over near the back. Someone keep the guide company.
<Xengar> No really...
* Xengar pauses, then gives a shrill whistle.
<Xengar> HEY!
<Surley> zomp, are there really stairs?
<zompist> don't ask me. if you don't believe xengar, make him show you.
<Surley> xengar, let's go see these stairs
* LeeHarveyKemlo follows
<Xengar> Anyone gonna stay with the guide?
<zompist> there they are! a creaky old set of stairs.
<zompist> bruin stays with capalert and adry.
<Xengar> Goin' UP...
* Surley follows Xengar up when the bear is otherwise distracted
<LeeHarveyKemlo> do the stairs go up or down?
<Xengar> Up.
<zompist> they lead up to a dusty room piled with janitorial supplies. there's a door here.
* LeeHarveyKemlo climbs the stairs
* LeeHarveyKemlo pockets various janitorial supplies
* Xengar slides to one side of the door and gestures.
<Xengar> Check for traps.
* Surley examines the supplies. If there's nothing useful, try to open the door a crack
<zompist> the door opens with a loud squeak
<zompist> you blink in the sudden sunlight.
<zompist> you're in the forest, near a trail; the door is marked "SERVICE ENTRANCE. BEARS ONLY PLASE."
* LeeHarveyKemlo blinks in the sudden sunlight
<Xengar> "Well, that's anticlimatic..."
<Xengar> Do I hear anything?
<Xengar> Besides the birds.
<zompist> birdies... the melodious lullabies of the squirrels... some faint marching and thwapping sounds.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> *fap fap fap*
<Surley> hmm.. marching AND thwapping?
<LeeHarveyKemlo> do the bears need some privacy?
<Xengar> I'm not an expert, but I'd say we investigate stealthily.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> sounds reasonable
<zompist> you step onto the road; the marching sounds like it comes from the southwest
* Xengar clicks his dagger into position.
<Xengar> Any cover?
* Surley goes as stealthily as he can
* LeeHarveyKemlo melts into the trees
<LeeHarveyKemlo> and sidles along silently
<LeeHarveyKemlo> leaving barely any evidence of his presence if you don't know what to look for
<zompist> plenty of trees!
<Xengar> Well, behind a tree then. Is the marching coming this way?
<zompist> you wander along the road, till you see the source of the commotion: a phalanx of monks, marching and doing strenuous hand exercises
<zompist> looks like some sort of martial arts training.
<Xengar> More detail, GM. Are these evil monks?
<zompist> sorry, you left your detect evil at home
<Surley> and albacore isn't here
<zompist> they're dressed in red and beige robes, if that helps.
<zompist> there's about a dozen of them.
<Xengar> Red and beige...okay, they aren't Hare Krishnas then?
<Surley> Kung-fu Krishnas?
<zompist> well, as verdurians, you know that there are martial orders of monks.
<zompist> you don't happen to recognize these.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> they seem quite well-disciplined
<Xengar> I'm not sure if they'd like being startled.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> except those ones in the back who are smoking and telling dirty jokes
<Xengar> Smoking and telling dirty...
<LeeHarveyKemlo> I have enhanced hearing. Trust me; they're dirty jokes.
* Xengar looks at the back file of monks closely. HARRY? Is that HIM?
<zompist> as you stand there watching, the monks file past you
<Surley> we could try a more friendly approach?
<Xengar> Jumping out of a forest is not one of them.
<Xengar> I follow, just in case, to see their temperment.
* LeeHarveyKemlo assesses their combat-readiness
<zompist> they keep marching through the woods
<zompist> they come to a fork in the road and turn right
<Xengar> That wouldn't be the same road WE took, is it?
* Surley puts away his weapon, but keeps it in close range of his hand and decide to walk up to them, smiling in a friendly manner and called out 'Hello'
* Xengar waits in the bush...just in case.
* LeeHarveyKemlo readies a dagger....
<zompist> the first monks stop, and all the others plow into them comically
<zompist> they get up, dust themselves off, and face you in the "opening lotus" formation
<zompist> one monk comes forward. "you interrupt our exercises, dwarven stranger."
<zompist> "but master lu teaches us patience with the unshriven. how can we help you?"
<Xengar> Surl, just a warning. If you screw this up, we all die. Okay?
<Surley> "I apologize. We are seeking information on a group of people who call themselves Elrei. Would you know anything about them?"
* LeeHarveyKemlo holds his breath
* Xengar twirls his knife in the bushes pensively.
* Surley smiles politely
<zompist> "elrei are evildoers," says the monk. "they live in the caverns."
<zompist> "what do you wish to know about them?"
* Xengar sheathes his dagger finally.
* LeeHarveyKemlo emerges from the bushes.
<LeeHarveyKemlo> Elrei stole from us.
* Xengar follows
<LeeHarveyKemlo> We seek them, so as to get our stuff back.
<Surley> "They took something from us and we would like to get it back. We would accept any help you could offer."
<LeeHarveyKemlo> There may be other reasons that I don't recall offhand.
<Xengar> I lost a good purse out of it too.
<Surley> "They kidnapped a maiden"
<Xengar> <whisper> "They did?"
<Surley> <whisper> "Yep, a barkeep's daughter."
<zompist> "master lu teaches us, do not take on the role of scourges of evil, for that is the work of the gods, and it is also pretty much endless and ill-paid."
<Xengar> <whisper> "Oh yeah." <out loud> "Any help from you, O hardy monks shall surely accrue you great karma in the afterlife."
* LeeHarveyKemlo ahems. I get paid pretty well, actually.
<Surley> "That's true. But if you can assist us, you would only take on a role of being guides"
<Surley> "And perhaps you can teach us some of those cool fighting moves"
<zompist> "the help we can offer is spiritual and educational," says the monk.
<zompist> "we offer a fine week-long training course in the fighting methods of master lu."
<Xengar> "We really do not wish you to be involved, per se. But were you not taught that assisting those in need would bring short term suffering but long term satisfaction?"
<Surley> Hmm, a week long course.. and it'll take that long for Elrei to get into town
<zompist> "what need have you?"
<zompist> "you have a desire, certainly, but is it a need?"
<Surley> "If you know where in the cavern's Elrei hide, and perhaps we might take you up on your class"
<zompist> "master lu taught us, he who bargains is probably not that desperate."
<Xengar> "We would appreciate any information which will lead our quest to a satisfactory conclusion."
<zompist> "we have given that to you, kind sirs. now if there is nothing else..."
* LeeHarveyKemlo yawns, lies down, and goes to sleep.
<Xengar> [Come on, come on, THINK!]
<zompist> think who?
<Surley> "Does this training class start soon?"
<Xengar> Think Different or something. I'm trying to figure out how to get the monks to agree not to kill me.
<Xengar> Okay. The class doesn't sound too bad.
<zompist> "master lu teaches that a strict schedule is the way of despair and spiritual destruction. you may start the course any day; simply come to the temple an hour before sunrise."
<Surley> I'm about ready to spend a week with the monks, beefing up
<Xengar> "And directions to the temple?"
<Surley> Tell the rest of the group to meet up in the temple if they find (or don't find) Elrei, and I will be there, ready to assist
<zompist> "proceed south down this road, past the tour entrance and the cabins. you'll come to a road, just past a sign. turn left at that sign."

[ BlackDeath and Ntilde reemerge. Everyone eventually ends up in the same room. ]

* BlackDeath emerges from the tunnel.
<Surley> "I shall join you for a week, if there are no objections"
<Xengar> "No prob. Oh, hey, Black.
* BlackDeath stashes her piccolo.
<Surley> "Hey Blackdeath. What did you find in the tunnel.. um.."
<Xengar> Any luck?
* Ntilde emerges from the tunnel as well and blinks in the sunlight
<BlackDeath> (You guys are back from your side trip?)
<Surley> We were here all along
<zompist> ntilde, you actually blink in the darkness, 'cos your tunnel is underground.
<Xengar> Yeah. Nice monk fellows.
<Ntilde> Wait. I didn't follow blackDeath?
<Surley> We can spend a week training in the martial fighting arts
<zompist> WAIT A SEC D00DZ
<BlackDeath> We're still underground, where the tour diverged.
<Xengar> Perhaps they have mind clearing techniques that can nullufy the magic relic Elrei has.
<zompist> xengar, surley, and lee harvey left the cave; they're not there when blackdeath and ntilde returns.
<zompist> adry and capalert and bruin are there, though.
<zompist> xengar & surley, are you leaving the monks to go back to the cave?
<Xengar> Yup. Dragging Lee with us too.
<Ntilde> "Hi, Adry and CapAlert. Where did the other three go?"
<Surley> yea, but I might head up to the temple later on
<Xengar> We backtrack and head back into the cave enterance.
<zompist> ok, grand reunion in the room next to fat man's trial!
<Xengar> Now...
<Xengar> *ahem*
<zompist> actually, bruin says he'll only lead you out if you pay 3 g.p. more, each
<Xengar> "Oh, hi Black, tilde. Find anything?"
<BlackDeath> "What, like we forgot how we got here?"
* BlackDeath is a scout, she knows how to backtrack.
<zompist> "you're welcome to try," says bruin.
<Xengar> "Thank you Bruin. We can find our way. Thank you for your tour."
<zompist> "caves are dangerous places, full of twisty passages, all alike."
<Surley> I'll trust Blackdeath.. perhaps it'll be another adventure
<Xengar> "So, what'd ya find?
<zompist> bruin snorts again, but leaves by himself, muttering something about letting you find out on your own.
* BlackDeath waits until the group is alone.
<BlackDeath> "We found Elrei!"
<BlackDeath> Or at least some of them.
<Xengar> "Oh, good."
<Ntilde> I found out that Elrei is performing soon.
<Xengar> Here?
<Ntilde> 5 days from now in Beldan, and two days after that in Ulian.
<BlackDeath> "Yeah, just the other side of the tunnel. Ntilde ESPed them."
<Xengar> Not enough time for the monk training, I'm afraid.
<Surley> "So, do we want to ambush them here, in Beldan, or in Ulian?"
<Ntilde> And the woman playing tenor sax is kind of struggling with the music.
<Surley> If we do it in Ulian, there would be enough time for monk training...
<Xengar> "Ah yes...Clarisse, right?"
<BlackDeath> "I explored a little further and there's a colony of giant ants down there."
<Surley> "WE can fight some giant ants"
<Xengar> Actually, we'd finish training by the time they'd finish the concert.
<Ntilde> "They have some chocolate and stuff in their kitchen, but it isn't very good."
<Surley> "They can have.. um.. pic-a-nik baskets or something"
<BlackDeath> "And beyond that, a river. On the other side, it looks like some kind of factory or mine. There's a time clock and a bunch of cloaks."
* BlackDeath pulls out one of the cloaks.
<Xengar> Color?
<Surley> Any of them black apocolypse cloaks like in Princess Bride?"
<zompist> it's a muddy green, and has a discreet black elrei logo on the back
<Surley> Xengar? You know what they're for?
<Xengar> Let me think...
<Ntilde> Sorry, guys, I came back empty-handed.
<Xengar> Nope...look like ordinary cloaks to me.
<BlackDeath> "I also managed to steal one of their instruments."
* BlackDeath brandishes the piccolo.
<Xengar> "which one?"
<Surley> "So, what's the plan?"
<Xengar> Well, we'll have two chances to hit them.
<Surley> "I say, have BlackDeath go fetch the rest of the party, or maybe take up some monk training classes"
<Xengar> I say we go back to the inn and discuss.
<Xengar> Care to go through the service entrance?
<BlackDeath> "Yeah, I could use a relaxing bath."
<zompist> ok, let's stop here. you can decide on a plan next time.
* Xengar leads the group to the service enterance and out into the road back.
<Surley> "I'll be in the temple. BlackDeath, Xengar knows the directions. You can fetch me before the week is done.. or something"
<Ntilde> Yeah, this seems like a good stopping point, too.
<Ntilde> Except I didn't get to fight anyone
<BlackDeath> "Yay! Piccolo!"
<Surley> "Yea, no fighting this round.. wierd
<zompist> hey, i provided plenty of action, you could've fought someone
<Surley> But both the bears and the monks were friendly.. and it's too late for the ants
<Xengar> I didn't want to fight with the monks.
<zompist> how things have changed... weeks ago, you would've attacked first and been friendly afterwards
<Xengar> Monks kicked my ass once in Diablo.
<BlackDeath> The ants aren't going anywhere.
<BlackDeath> And there's a whole 'nother corridor we never went down.
<Ntilde> Next time, I'll actually take the initiative and steal stuff.
<Surley> We can kick the ants' butts next time
<zompist> do ants have butts?