The Story So Far : Suicide Squid (Episodes 31-38, 3/7/01)

[Preparation] [Suicide Squid] [What's his mime type?] [Why orcs avoid living here] [Why-a no chicken?] [To catch a thief] [Rock and Troll] [How To Be Rutabagan] [Gargoyles Just Want to Have Fun] [Let Me Entertain You] [The Arm-bone's Connected to the Sword-Bone] [Space Opera Quest!] [Is Mary Sue too damn perky or what?] [Beware of bears bearing wares]

<zompist> you're on the road that leads north and south along the svetla river.
<Fernbar> gnomeboi?
<zompist> the road just sits there roadishly.
<Capalert> is the road evil?
* SoiledDwarf attacks the road.
<Burger> what's it con?
<Capalert> I say we go.... South
<zompist> good plan!
<Ntilde> Yeah, south works for me.
<Fernbar> of course, to a dwarf, it would be the Colossus of Roads
<zompist> you go south, till you see a strange and wondrous sight!
<Fernbar> Pittsburgh
<Capalert> a brothel?
* SoiledDwarf attacks the brothel.
<zompist> you pass it up without interest, and proceed till you notice a sort of melee near the water.
<Elfstar> Oooh. A fight!
<Capalert> um, strange and WONDEROUS! hel-LO
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo is *bathing*, thank you. It's not a melee.
<Capalert> I wanna go back the wonder-y thing
* Ntilde averts his eyes
<zompist> it looks like... oh... about five people are attacking some sort of monster in the water.
<zompist> it's all tentacley and slimy and stuff.
* Fernbar whack!
* Capalert makes some popcorn
<SoiledDwarf> watersports!
<BlakDeath> So much for your bath, strat.
* Elfstar elects to wait at teh raod until they kill the thing, she can't sapre teh hit points.
<Fernbar> take that, Doc Evil!
*** zompist is now known as kryten
<kryten> How *unusual*! I do believe it's a *giant squid*! I've never seen one in a river before!
*** kryten is now known as zompist
<Capalert> Hey, we should, um, help these folk who are fighting that, uh, thing
<SoiledDwarf> fuck 'em.
<Fernbar> Is it windy?
<Elfstar> Are any of the people trapped in a gelatinous cube?
* Burger is shouting, "Save the good parts! We'll eat like kings!"
* Capalert sends the paladin into the fray
<zompist> heh, well, i think the PALADIN would certainly join in
* BlakDeath hovers above the giant squid between dive bombing slash runs.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> save the ink sacs!
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> I need them to write with!
<Capalert> Is any of you complete strangers hurt?
<zompist> blakdeth annoys the monster with erotic fanfic!
* Burger flings tooth-pickins at the tentacly thing
<BlakDeath> CAAAAAAALIIIIIII-MARI!
<Capalert> Can I mangle more grammar goodly?
<Fernbar> just a little lightheaded
* Ntilde checks the water before jumping in
<zompist> a tentacle reaches out and whaps fernbar sharply on the head, knocking him unconscious
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> have I joined yet?
* Capalert says a little prayer, and rushes in to help fernbar
* zompist was perhaps not clear
<Capalert> I'll try and drag him away
<Fernbar> dang, I'll be demoted from Squidsquad
* BlakDeath slices and dices, staying out of reach of the tentacles.
<zompist> the five people being attacked are the new folks
* Burger pulls out his The Joy of Cooking
<Elfstar> Damnit. If we're all gonna get invovled.
* babflippyich is done battling his dirtsnake...does he get experience for that
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo sits back and takes notes
<Ntilde> OK, I'll cast the magic missile spell on this tentacle thing.
* Burger mutters, "squid... squid.... Squash...hrm..."
* Elfstar rulctantly mosies toward the river nad pokes the thing with her sword of poking things.
* BlakDeath drops some squid slices near Burger. :)
* Xengar hurls pointy things and barbed insults at the thing
* Fernbar snores
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> "and Tilde of N did cast a missile... and a mighty missile it was"
<zompist> kaboom! the magic missile hits the creature, who blinks annoyedly
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> "the creature's eyes did blink, like a very short night"
* Elfstar pulls fernabar out of teh river before he like drowns or something.
<zompist> the paladin manages to lop off a tentacle
* SoiledDwarf attacks with Fuck.
<Capalert> Once Fernbar's safely off napping, I'll join in
<Capalert> with my blunt mace-like thing
<zompist> oh good, i didn't remember your weapon
<babflippyich> can I 'appear, almost out of nowhere, and save the day?
<zompist> ok, you all join in-- fortunately it's a large squid
<BlakDeath> Help Burger tenderize the meat.:)
<Burger> I poke the tentacled thingy
<zompist> no need for valet parking
<Ntilde> Didn't I have a staff or a dagger or something like that last time?
<zompist> dagger, probably
<Elfstar> I've already poked teh thing and pulled fernbar out of the river, what more am I expected to do?
<zompist> if you want to risk your piddly little hit points fighting a giant squid
<babflippyich> I start making a really good marinara sauce for that cephalapodic bastard
* Fernbar dreams of alchemical sheep
<babflippyich> heh
<Capalert> REPLICANT!
<Ntilde> Oh, good point. I'll reach behind him and start tying his tentacles together.
* SoiledDwarf attacs the squid with cocktail sauce.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> save his ink sacs!
<zompist> the squid ejects ink, mostly aimed at kemlo
<zompist> who's temporarily blinded
<zompist> the rest of you are just a black inky mess, though
<Elfstar> Woops.
<babflippyich> I attack the squid with WhiteOut
<Elfstar> Damnit. this was a new outfit.
* BlakDeath is always black and inky.
<SoiledDwarf> an ink facial...
<zompist> is kyol here?
<Fernbar> and pinky and blinky and clyde
<zompist> yeah, blak, it doesn't change you any
* Elfstar wonders why we're fighting something that has to stay in a river.
* Ntilde rolls around on a giant sheet of paper to make Rorshach tests
* BlakDeath swoops down and tries to shove kemlo in a safe direction.
<Elfstar> Couldn't we just all move *farther away* from the river so he can't reach us?
<Burger> no, i want to cook this
<SoiledDwarf> yum!
<Capalert> No! Kill the squid! Crunch his bones! Or cartilage! Or whatever!
<zompist> the squid, as if anticipating this reaction, coils a tentacle around kyol
<Burger> i found a recipe for squid burgers
<zompist> his character is here, even if he's not
<Burger> oh great, sentient squid
<Capalert> I continue to bludgeon the squid
* Xengar mutters something about elfstar not understanding the finer points of this line of work, and loudly infers that the squid is of questionable parentage
<zompist> the squid is looking a little unhappy, but it's still fighting
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo , being a coyote, can get by with sense of smell alone
<Burger> for example:
<Burger> http://www.antioch.k12.ca.us/kimball/Squid/squidrecipe.htm
<babflippyich> I open an entire 20lb bag of Costco salt upriver from squid
<zompist> xengar, you're actually not here yet
<Elfstar> Oh, like i care. Kyols' probably bittera boutt he whole Morwne as gravel thing anyway.
<zompist> sorry, but you do get a better role
<Burger> I put my toothpick in the beak of the squid
<Ntilde> Do we have any boiling oil?
<Xengar> Oh, I thought I was one of the new people. Well, wherever I am, chances are I'm insulting a squid.
<zompist> but morwen is pretty broken up about it
<Burger> to porp it open
<Burger> prop
<Fernbar> pr0p
<Capalert> Is it a faux pas to /kick the DM?
* BlakDeath continues to slash and dash, although the blades against such a giant squid are probably pissing it off more than damaging it. (On the other hand, we're getting great calimari strips out of it.
<zompist> unfortunately, burg, it managed to get a good bite in
* SoiledDwarf attacks with kiddie pr0n.
<zompist> you have 1 hit point left
<Fernbar> squiddy pr0n
<Elfstar> DAmnit. I thought I had a better sword now, shouldn't my poking this thing be doing some good.
<Capalert> I'll rush over to Cure the Burger
* Elfstar pokes it again and again.
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo sits back under a tree, and composes a song about squidkilling
<Burger> i also fart on the squid
<SoiledDwarf> mmmmmm.... CureBurger..
<Burger> and lose my connection to the internet
<zompist> actually, yes, elfstar. you slash off the tentacle that's holding kyol.
<Ntilde> Can I cast the magic missile spell again?
* SoiledDwarf pulls Kyol out of the river.
<Elfstar> Oh Good. Now I've rescued both fernbar and kyol today.
<Elfstar> That must be good fro some karma points or something.
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo composes a song about the heroism of Elfstar
<zompist> kyol trips, knocking down lore just as he was about to do some damage
* Elfstar ponnders the possability of throwing kyol at teh squid.
<Elfstar> Unlike Morwen, he probably wouldn't shtatter into pebbles.
* Capalert ponders blackjacking Elfstar for the good of the party
<zompist> risto's toothpick manages to paralyze a tentacle
<Elfstar> Oh please, I'm not the one interfering with eh damned paladin when he's fighting.
<zompist> only five tentacles to go!
<Elfstar> Ah shit.
* Elfstar pokes teh squid some more.
<babflippyich> zomp...have I joined yet?
* BlakDeath swoops in from the paralyzed side and goes for the eyes!
<zompist> one of them, however, manages to constrict around flippy the half-elf
<babflippyich> guess so
<Capalert> did I cure burger yet?
<zompist> did you try?
<Lore> I'm back, and I'm wearing a cardboard crown with pictures of the Backstreet Boys on it.
* SoiledDwarf picks at the tentacle that's holding flippy.
<Ntilde> I'll slash at another tentacle with this ineffectual dagger.
<Fernbar> zzzzzzz
<babflippyich> I try my best to escape
<Capalert> I'll rush over to Cure the Burger
<Capalert> so, yes
*** ristoril (~william@64.53.83.231) has joined #spinnwebe
<zompist> lore: http://www.zompist.com/swdd.html
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo bedevils the Squid with soul-crushing limericks about its mother
<zompist> the party is attempting to rescue a bunch of new characters from a giant squid
*** ristoril is now known as Burger_
<babflippyich> I hack at the tentacle with my arm that is free
<zompist> and you, you hero you, have already chopped off a tentacle
<Capalert> we don't know if it's evil though
<babflippyich> actually , I hack at it with the sword that is in my free arm
<Elfstar> Oh please, call him a hero. How many people has *he* rescued.
<zompist> ok, cap, i missed that
<Capalert> we just assume
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> Hmmm
<Burger_> how did my toothpick gamibit work out
<Lore> Oh. Okay.
*** Lore is now known as SirAlbaco
<BlakDeath> Paralyzed a tentacle.
<SirAlbaco> Dammit.
* Elfstar dives into the river in an effort to poke the squid from below.
* SoiledDwarf attacks with the |337 sk1||z 0f h4x0r1n6
<SirAlbaco> I really need to register ircle.
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo flips through his Encylopedia of Giant Cephalopods
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> Wait!
* God pays attention for a minute.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> Stop!
<babflippyich> I have to go to a client, I hope they dont mind if I fix their NT box with a giant sword
*** SirAlbaco is now known as SirAlb
*** SIGNOFF: babflippyich!~pirch@lsanca1-ar8-173-022.dsl.gtei.net (I hate cliche's like the plague!)
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> This giant Squid is actually an enchanted princess!
<zompist> elfstar is so damn heroic
*** SIGNOFF: SirAlb!editor@www.brunching.com (Leaving)
<zompist> can she swim, though?
<Elfstar> Of course I can swim.
* BlakDeath is still waiting to see about her attack results.
<zompist> ok, i believe you.
<Elfstar> I have pictures of me from teh newspaper taking swimming lessons when I was like 2.
<zompist> blak, unfortunately, you bounce off the giant squid's monocle
<zompist> it's an elegant cephalopod
<Elfstar> And I was damned cute, I might add, even if tehy got the anme wrong in teh captions.
<BlakDeath> ooooogh.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> we have to rescue it!
* Elfstar steals teh squid's monocle.
<Burger_> but i want to eat it
* God *zots* a passing fish.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> .,... or we could just kill it, and steal its kingdom
<zompist> you can't, you're a fighter, you're no good at theft
<Fernbar> how was it captioned? El Starf?
<Elfstar> Damn and I killed our thief.
<zompist> you did?
<Capalert> bah, ignore the Northerner! Kill the squid! I have the garlic and butter all ready!
<Elfstar> Yah, morwen.
<Elfstar> Oh, wait, Kyol's a thief, too.
<zompist> kyol is a thief too
<zompist> kyol steals the monocle
<Elfstar> Well, he's not here, send Kyol to steal it.
<zompist> elf, what are you attacking?
* God is too busy to play today, but me is willing to *zot* a few things.
<Elfstar> What am i attacking?
<Elfstar> A big giant squid.
<Elfstar> I thought we had established that.
<zompist> tentacle, back of head, eyes, mouth?
*** Lore (~Lore@rdu26-227-098.nc.rr.com) has joined #spinnwebe
<Burger_> did i miss something while i was gone?
<Elfstar> Well, if it isn't covered by a monacle anymore, eyes.
<Lore> Umk.
<Ntilde> Did I do any damage on this tentacle?
<Lore> Hrm.
<Lore> I can't see the window I'm typing into.
<zompist> with what, ntilde?
<Burger_> ah, burger caught up
* BlakDeath makes another run at the eyes, now that the monocle is out of the way. After elfstar is out of the way.
*** babich (~pirch@lsanca1-ar8-173-022.dsl.gtei.net) has joined #spinnwebe
*** SIGNOFF: Burger_!~william@64.53.83.231 ([BX] Gary Coleman uses BitchX. Whatchoo talkin bout foo?)
<zompist> that's not a good thing, lore...
<Lore> This is going to make for a lot of spelling mistakes.
*** babich is now known as babflippyich
<babflippyich> I have returned!
* God mocks Lore.
<Lore> In fact, it's kind of a miracle I haven't made any already.
<Fernbar> luckily, lore's not a magic user
*** Lore is now known as SirAlbacore
* God *zots* Fernbar.
<zompist> ok, elfstar manages to take out one eye, and blakdeath the other.
<zompist> the squid is really, really unhappy now
* babflippyich smites SirAlbacore with ponzu souce
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> but it's a princess under a curse!
<SirAlbacore> Okay, here it is.
<SirAlbacore> Hi!
* God notices a sparrow falling, but doesn't give a damn.
<BlakDeath> A blind princess.
<zompist> dang... who was in its tentacles?
* SoiledDwarf gives the squid therapy.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> We're supposed to be rescuing her!
<SirAlbacore> I should try typing blind more often.
<babflippyich> I attack the squid with desperate messures
<Capalert> does anyone have a Silence 15' Radius spell?
<Elfstar> I think flippy.
<SoiledDwarf> *bad* therapy.
<zompist> ok, it releases flippy
<Elfstar> Having finished with his eyes, I'd like to try to take out another tentacle.
<babflippyich> I run out of reach
<zompist> one more round should finish it off, probably
<babflippyich> then return and attack it for little or no reason whatsoever
* Capalert pounds with the mace, tenderizing the meaty parts
<Fernbar> but then Cthulhu comes, and boy is she pissed
* Elfstar pokes it sharply.
* BlakDeath hacks at the paralyzed tentacle.
<Ntilde> For the love of nbsp, I attack another tentacle with the tiny little dagger.
<babflippyich> I attack it in a slicing dicing Ron Popiele action move
<zompist> the squid isn't struggling so much anymore, so these attacks all succeed
<Capalert> ok, heat up the scampi pn
* Fernbar morning-breaths on the squid
<Capalert> pan
<zompist> with a great squishing sound, however, it thwacks at burger
<daria> can we fry it up and make tasty calimari?
<zompist> leaving him in the coma of zero hit points
<SoiledDwarf> gah.
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo writes a nifty obituary
<Burger> heal please :)
<Burger> i fart when i sleep
<babflippyich> shut up coma boy
<zompist> you all lop off another couple of tentacles
<Capalert> I already used my cure spell
<Fernbar> * Burger does a comakaze attack on flippy
<Capalert> someone else'll have to take care of it
<zompist> sensing that the battle is not going its way, the squid suddefnly disappears into the water
<Elfstar> We must be damned near out of tentacles by now.
* SoiledDwarf flails at the last few tenticals.
<Capalert> NNNOOOOOOO
<SoiledDwarf> with bad spelling.
<Capalert> MY DINNER!
<zompist> well, it's not like there's not four or five tentacles left behind
* BlakDeath brandishes a tentacle. Dinner!
*** SIGNOFF: tiebrb!notmydesk@user-vcaunsn.dsl.mindspring.com (Connection reset by peer)
<babflippyich> I use one as a belt
<Elfstar> I thought you were more for eyeballs, rave
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo drags a tentacle under a tree and feeds on it
<Capalert> yeah, but the legs aren't the best part. I wanted the body...
<zompist> a thirty-foot long belt?
<zompist> the squid legs, capalert?
<babflippyich> I hysterically fat
<Elfstar> So we went to all that trouble and we dohn't even get any stuff that the squid had because he swam away.
<Elfstar> That sucks.
<BlakDeath> elf : well, yeah, but....
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> do we at least have an ink sac?
<zompist> squid aren't really known for their treasure
* BlakDeath gestures towards the lack of a squid body.
<Elfstar> Well, I popped this eyeball out.
<BlakDeath> Yay!
<babflippyich> I cut off suction cups for possible wall climbing later on
<Capalert> had you participated in the fight-the-squid bit, Billy Bardy, you might have gotten your sac
* Elfstar offers the eye she gouged out to BlakDeath.
<zompist> there ya go! an eyeball!
* BlakDeath loves elfstar.
<Burger> maybe he keeps his treasure in his tentacles
<Fernbar> or his ink sacs
* Ntilde offers some of this spare ink to Kemlo
* SoiledDwarf searches the tentacle.
* Capalert poops on the tentacle
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> thank you
<Capalert> that'll hold it wher it is
* BlakDeath adds it to the other squid eyeball in her Belt Pouch of Holding.
<Burger> we could make little furry animals with suction cup feet for sticking on windows
<zompist> the dm has to go to the bathroom
<babflippyich> family jewels = tentacles
<zompist> hold on!
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> yes�
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> ?
* Capalert red lights the log of that fight
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> what is it?
<Capalert> Full of wanton violence, Offense to God, and severe lack of seafood
<Ntilde> Where was Offense to God? When I invoked nbsp?
<Burger> kemlo, are you suing a foreign language keyboard?
<Capalert> You used magic, and unless you're Mary Poppins, that magic is from THE DEVIL
<Burger> using
* Capalert serves Kemlo's keyboard a subpoena
<Burger> I would like to gather up all the edible or nearly edible pieces of squid
<zompist> back
* BlakDeath makes a fire for Burger to cook on.
<Burger> to save for later cooking and things
* Elfstar rests.
* Fernbar comforts capalert with a copy of "Who Gets the Squid?"
<Burger> oh, after i REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS
<zompist> ok, you have one hell of a lot of calamari, one somewhat dead chef, and a bunch of new people
* Burger farts
* Capalert prays for Burger, hoping for divine intervention to heal him
<Capalert> is he quite dead yet?
<zompist> capalert is not really scoping on something
<Ntilde> Can I borrow the scroll from Capalert to try to cast the spell?
* BlakDeath checks out burger's eyes. "Not yet."
<babflippyich> I read John Livingston Seagul into the neighboring woods to frieghten off other monstors
<Capalert> well, sure, but he was in a COMA last we left him
* Elfstar bids the new people introduce themselves to the group...
<zompist> don't ask me, ntilde :)
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> back in a few minutes, sorry
*** SIGNOFF: Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo!4thu@139.103.66.77 ()
<Capalert> yeah, we'll miss your vital participation, bard
<zompist> ah. i use 0 hit points as a sort of holding area
<Elfstar> Hey, new people.
<Capalert> oh, ok
<zompist> it means you're dead, but resurrectable
<BlakDeath> Hey, thanks for helping out with dinner, stange adventurers.
<Capalert> well then, let's try out the scroll thingy
<Elfstar> IOntroduce yourself to us, your saviours before we get pissed and throw you back in the fricking river.
<babflippyich> I am (bab)Flippy(ich) and I want to adventure with you fine lunatics and engage in the hijinx that ensue
<Capalert> KLAATU, VERATA, NICTUU!
<zompist> oh, ok... fernbar wakes up
<zompist> with a hell of a headache
<Fernbar> Oh man, what a dream.
<Fernbar> and you were in it, and you ...
* Elfstar offers fernbar some codeine.
* Capalert gestures mystically at Burger
<BlakDeath> I'm Black Death, a wandering ranger, looking for things to range.
<Fernbar> thank you
* Capalert flips Burger the finger
<babflippyich> Elfstar: is the first on free?
<daria> but she's really a raven, too.
<daria> but don't ask her to explain that to you, it'll take for*ever*
<Ntilde> Does BlakDeath become Night Ranger after dark?
<Fernbar> Hi Black, I am Fernbar, a humble communer with nature
<zompist> communist!
*** SGsChangingNick (~erk@jax1-48.EBICom.Net) has joined #spinnwebe
<SGsChangingNick> gah.
<Capalert> Hey, it says here I have to sacrifice a virgin for the resurrection
<Fernbar> and squidsmasher
<zompist> cap: yeah, but kemlo's away
*** SGsChangingNick is now known as SoiledDwarf_
* Ntilde waves to the new people
<Elfstar> snkkkkt
<Capalert> can we skip that part and do it later?
*** SIGNOFF: SoiledDwarf!erk_@jax1-58.EBICom.Net (Ping timeout)
*** SoiledDwarf_ is now known as SoiledDwarf
<zompist> i'm sure the virgin part isn't very important
<Elfstar> Hey cap, you wanna explain our reasons for going south in search of bears to these new people ro shall I?
<Capalert> well, can we still sacrifice him?
<zompist> magicians are just hoping for a chance to score
<Capalert> ah, ok
<Elfstar> I mean, cuz I'm a fighter, talking's not really my gig.
<Capalert> Elf: give them the URL
<zompist> "hey, baby, i really need a virgin for this trick"
<zompist> cap: heh heh
*** Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo (adslkj@139.103.65.126) has joined #spinnwebe
<Elfstar> OK: new types we are a band of adventurers adventuring and stuff: read about our reasons here: http://www.zompist.com/swdd.html
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo returns
<zompist> oh, i forgot... on one end of a tentacle, you find a ring
<Burger> am i awake?
<Capalert> YOINK!
<Elfstar> Pretty.
* BlakDeath picks up the ring.
<zompist> ring for squids... more like a bracelet for a human
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> it's the princess's ring?
<zompist> more like a hula hoop for a raven
<BlakDeath> Anything written on it?
<Elfstar> Have the paladin check all jewellery for potential evil, eh.
<Capalert> so about that whole sacrifi- ahh, fuggetit
<zompist> nope
<Ntilde> What does the ring say?
<babflippyich> it says nope
<Burger> for the love of jobu, man, what is it with you and damn princesses
<zompist> it says nothing, but it does "ting!" if you whack it against a rock
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> this is what the legend is supposed to be
<zompist> such as this piece of morwen here
<zompist> ting!
* Burger stuirs
* Burger stirs
* BlakDeath hauls the ring out of the water and drops it by the paladin.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> if Bard's don't keep track of legends, who will?
<Elfstar> What happens to the piece of rock when the ring tings it?
<SoiledDwarf> what else was found?
<Burger> you're just making it up though :)
<zompist> ok, the resurrection scroll is successful
* God wants to *zot* something.
<zompist> burger lives
<Capalert> It might be cursed. Have the bard try it on
<zompist> but his acne is a lot worse
<Xengar> Can anyone notice?
<Elfstar> Damnit, we wasted our resurection spell on a new guy?
<zompist> notice what?
<Elfstar> What if we find a way to get Morwen back together?
<BlakDeath> But he's the chef!
<Capalert> yeah, but a cook, so we get good squid cakes
<zompist> wow, elfstar, you're heroic and all, but you're cold
<Fernbar> Morwen who?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> the legends say that, if we do, she will be resurrected -
<Burger> yay!
<Xengar> How do you know an ogre's acne got worse.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> but only in body
<SoiledDwarf> squid cakes yay!
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> her mind is gone
<zompist> ah, good point
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> and she will be possessed by something else
* Capalert begs the DM for an extra copy of a Silence spell
<SoiledDwarf> fuck possesion.
<Burger> thanks for the save, guys
<Elfstar> So besides making a tinging noise on rocks, does teh bracelet do anything else intersting?
<zompist> it's 9/10 of the law!
<Capalert> hey, anytime. Now go cook me some vittles
<BlakDeath> Now make with the calimari!
<Elfstar> Like say glow with a mystical power or something?
<zompist> i dunno, did someone try it on?
<Ntilde> I'll try it on.
<Burger> did you see anything fantastic or wondrous while you were walking down here?
<SoiledDwarf> i will!
<Ntilde> No! I will!
<Fernbar> with this ring, I thee dead
<Capalert> Burger: Did we ever!
<Capalert> Wow, the wonder
<zompist> i think ntilde called it first
<SoiledDwarf> oh, alright.
<zompist> ntilde, you put on the bracelet.
<Ntilde> Does it harmonize with my outfit?
<Capalert> ...and turns into a squid
<zompist> you feel suddenly suave, debonair, handsome
* Fernbar takes the pendant
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> does it turn him into a squid?
* Burger gathers calamari
<zompist> a chick magnet, in short
<Elfstar> Oooh. Ntilde.
<Elfstar> Baby.
<zompist> tho' you sense, somehow, that only female squid will be interested.
<Elfstar> Eh.
<Elfstar> Whatever.
* Capalert looks oddly at Elfstar
<babflippyich> Burger gathers calamari...rock takes scisors
<Capalert> are you part squid?
<Elfstar> I'm part squid on my grandfather's maternal side.
* BlakDeath backs away from Ntilde, eyeing the river for more squid.
<zompist> for other powers, consult a magic user...
*** Mr-Ben (Benman13@AC9F8309.ipt.aol.com) has joined #spinnwebe
<Elfstar> Sort of 1/32nd squid or so.
<Capalert> snkkt
<SirAlbacore> I like ham.
<zompist> did someone explain your mission to the newbies?
<Capalert> Congrats Ben, you're a magic-user
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> Do you feel pretty? Oh so pretty? Pretty, and witty, and...
* SoiledDwarf hands elfstar some squid pr0n.
<Elfstar> But not so squiddish that the Germans would have classified me as one during the 30s, ya knwo?
<Ntilde> Maybe I can find a squid Camaro somewhere, and really cruise up and down this river.
<Capalert> ok, so we eat, and then we go to look for more bears
<Elfstar> zomp: yeah, I gave them the URL.
<Elfstar> They all know.
<zompist> oh, right.
<Elfstar> Or at least as much as we do.
<BlakDeath> Not that it explains the bear issue.
<SirAlbacore> Where am I? Am I in a dungeon?
* God *zots* a tree that looked at him funny.
<SirAlbacore> Am I fighting something?
<Fernbar> that url is missing a lot
<SirAlbacore> Am I winning?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> no, you're in a supermarket.
<Capalert> a fig tree?
<SirAlbacore> Unk unk!
<zompist> albacore, you were hit really hard by a tentacle, i guess
<Capalert> but on the upside, you didn't catch any diseases
<SirAlbacore> That's my college social life in a nutshell.
<zompist> not sure what all you missed, albacore, but the squid was defeated
<Capalert> and no dolphins were harmed
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> although it probably wasn't a squid in truth.
<SoiledDwarf> well, sort of.
<Fernbar> hey guys, that diary you were passing around to us new folks ...
<Fernbar> I couldn't help notice the mention of Elrei
<Burger> so what wondrous things have you all come across in your adventures
<Burger> more calamari , anyone?
<SoiledDwarf> me!
<Burger> oh, and anyone seen my tothpick?
* Capalert asks for thirds
<BlakDeath> Sure, pass me another slice of princess.
<Burger> toothpick
<Fernbar> you know, I know someone in town who used to play with them
<Elfstar> Do you have knowledge of Elrei, fernabar?
<Burger> it's a family heirloom
<Fernbar> lute, I think
<SirAlbacore> Okay. Dead squid.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> what diary?
<SirAlbacore> Am I, like, THERE?
<Elfstar> Please share your wealth of knowledge.
<Fernbar> guy namewd Xengar
<zompist> albacore: i suspect so.
* SoiledDwarf pulls out the vodka.
<Elfstar> bard: the URL.
<Capalert> Xengar, eh?
<SirAlbacore> Okay. I'm here among the dead squid parts.
<Elfstar> Hmm. Xengar. Sounds vaguely Nebraskan.
<Capalert> and where could we find this....Xengar
<Fernbar> yeah, heard of him?
<SirAlbacore> Is this a boat, or did we face a land-squid?
<BlakDeath> A river squid.
<Elfstar> IT was a river squid, actually.
<Capalert> a river-squid, we fought on land
<Fernbar> I can show you ....
<SirAlbacore> A...river squid.
<zompist> a giant river squid. tasty!
<Elfstar> Well, some of us dove in and poked him from udnerwater...
<SoiledDwarf> well, where to next, DM?
<Fernbar> he's to the south, here in pelym
<SirAlbacore> Okay.
<Capalert> cool. Let's finish this delicious seafood feast first though
* BlakDeath passes SirAlbacore some calimari.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> oh, okay
<Capalert> it won't keep, after all. Shame to waste it
<zompist> too bad refrigeration is so far in the future
<Burger> I salt and store the leftovers
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo knows a legend of salt...
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> yes
<BlakDeath> And we don't have time to dry it into jerky.
<Capalert> yeah. Good thing we have phones, though, so we can order ahead
<Burger> and make some calamari jerkey
<SirAlbacore> I want the cuttlebone for my lorikeet.
<Ntilde> I'll take some before I get hungry.
* Elfstar eats a little quid.
<Burger> anyone see my toothpick?
<SirAlbacore> Eating british money again?
<Capalert> 'ere now! That bloke ate me fiver!
* SirAlbacore LUNGES for the obvious joke.
* Fernbar eats a pro quo
<zompist> what the heck is a lorikeet?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> it's what Morwen is
<SirAlbacore> It's a bird.
<Burger> I thought Morwen was about 100 stone
<zompist> a lori-quartz maybe
<SoiledDwarf> a stoned bird.
* Burger searches for his toothpick
<BlakDeath> yeah, she's a lorigravel.
<Fernbar> *gravel gravel* raises hindquarters
* BlakDeath cleans squid goo off her blades.

Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com

I want to submit a log!