The Story So Far : Preparation

[Preparation] [Suicide Squid] [What's his mime type?] [Why orcs avoid living here] [Why-a no chicken?] [To catch a thief] [Rock and Troll] [How To Be Rutabagan] [Gargoyles Just Want to Have Fun] [Let Me Entertain You] [The Arm-bone's Connected to the Sword-Bone] [Space Opera Quest!] [Is Mary Sue too damn perky or what?] [Beware of bears bearing wares]

<KemloCaesar> hey, are we using the same characters, or should I pick someone new?
*** kaufman is now known as HarlanEllison
<HarlanEllison> I have no character
<Samwise> Do I make up a new character, or will the DM give me one?
<SoiledStore> can i be a |337 h4x0r with +3 scripting?
<jacquilyn> Same characters, Kemlo, you're still trapped in a gelatinous cube.
<jacquilyn> Too bad, eh?
<Samwise> jacqui, shhh, I'm a pile of ash.
<Leth> but is Morwen lining a driveway?
<Samwise> Probably not even much of a pile.
<KemloCaesar> the Bard of Kemlo?
<jacquilyn> I think we pciked her up and took her with us, Leth, in case we can find some crazy glue and a spell of ressurrection.
<Leth> oh, ok. Good
* Leth buys a sling
* kaufman buys a couple glaive-guisarmes
<SoiledStore> ADD?
<babich> advanced dungeons and ....what was that again
<ristoril> domination
* Samwise steals ken's Amulet of Spelling +3
*** Samwise has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by kaufman (you know the penalty for theft)
* SoiledStore attacks kid with Ritalin.
<ristoril> let's all play with different rules sets
<ristoril> i call 1st edition
<jacquilyn> Wait, there are *rules*?
<Samwise> Dibs on 3rd edition ad&d
* zompist is back, and zompier than ever!
<kaufman> I call Cthulhu Mythos AD&D
<Samwise> %10 zompier
<Leth> rist: actually, zomp was using old school Player's Handbook, etc
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> GURPS Toons
<ristoril> i want to be a half-orc monk-cleric-wizard
*** babich is now known as dungeon_master
<dungeon_master> ambiguous sentance! roll a d4 against the kid being attacked with a capsule of ritalin
<jacquilyn> It's the zompiest zomp we've ever come up with.
<ristoril> with psionic powers
<zompist> did lore disappear?
<zompist> and where the fuck is tiefuckingboy?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> he went to drive Colette to a class
<ristoril> i saw him drink some potion
* kaufman casts Locate Object on Lore
<Samwise> what color was it, rist?
<Elkman> Have I missed anything?
<ristoril> light blue
* kaufman passes Samwise a plaid potion
<ristoril> with yellow sparklies
* raven sharpens her talons with a file as she waits.
<ristoril> and a forboding black mist surrounding it
<Samwise> Hrm. Must be a potion of resist annoying running gag.
<ristoril> he said, "mmm... Pepsi"
* Leth polishes his mirror shard
<Leth> might need it to do a few lines later
<zompist> ok, start here: http://www.zompist.com/swdd.html
* Elkman rubs his antlers on a convenient tree
* kaufman hires Thel to do his polishing
<Samwise> Hey, zomp... could I get a new character?
<zompist> also, i need a volunteer to take on a certain character the players will soon meet.
<Samwise> Yo!
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> what about me?
<Leth> I would, but I might vanish along the line
<kaufman> &me?
<zompist> sam, you're hired!
<SoiledStore> me?
<raven> hey...I'm not...on the...
<ristoril> +me
<Samwise> yay me.
<SoiledStore> memememe!
* ristoril comforts raven
<zompist> yeah, that's next-- fitting others in. :)
<Elkman> We did 30 episodes during the time we were at the PGGTG?
<ristoril> i'd ust like to warn you , if my name is 'ristoril' i'm required to be a druid
<zompist> yeah. i figure we're good for at least ten today
<ristoril> oh man, i read the druid rules for 3rd edition
<ristoril> geez it sucks being a druid in the new AD&D
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> whaboutme?
<kaufman> if it's 'r2rl', you can be a droid instead
<zompist> which of this group *isn't* here?
<daria> I'm not here
<Leth> mmmm...dire flail
<zompist> i think we have everyone but misterq, right?
<zompist> who'd like to play surly the fighting dwarf then?
<SoiledStore> bah.
<SoiledStore> i will.
<Elkman> Is that like Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear?
<zompist> ok, who needs a character?
* kaufman raises his hand
<ristoril> <---
* raven raises a wing.
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo waves
<Leth> wing...hehe, like a bird....
* Leth ducks & covers
*** SoiledStore is now known as ShortAndPissedGreen
<zompist> ok, new people, i need a name, class, race, and favorite weapon
<raven> Just for that, I won't let you borrow my gauntlets at the seafood restaurant.
<Leth> like you can use em, with all your feathers and talons and shit
<raven> They're *little* *tiny* RAVEN gauntlets!
<ShortAndPissedGreen> woohoo! i got a pickax.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> I have no idea what`s available...
<raven> um, I'm not familiar with classes. Is there something Scout-y in the list?
<ShortAndPissedGreen> zomp: i wanna change my name tho.
<Leth> yes, have Raven sell us cookies
<kaufman> +3 thin mints of throwing
* raven goes melodramatic with the name Black Death.
<zompist> raven: ranger
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> isn't there a bard/minstrel class, or am I thinking of something different?
<kaufman> there's a bard
<raven> Black Death, Ranger, Talon Blades.
<zompist> think strider in lotr (for ranger)
*** ristoril is now known as Burger
<Burger> this is my name
<zompist> ok, stop scrolling so much
*** kaufman is now known as ThisSpaceAvailable555-2345
*** ThisSpaceAvailable555-2345 is now known as Fernbar
<Burger> I'm an ogre short order cook
* Elkman makes an obscene fern call
<zompist> lessee. risto, burger, old chap, what *are* you?
<Fernbar> which I guess makes me half-elf
*** ShortAndPissedGreen is now known as SoiledDwarf
<Burger> my favorite weapon is....
<Burger> a used toothpick
<babich> Im a mexican busboy elf
<Burger> it has a bit of rancid something on the end of it
<SoiledDwarf> with +3 wiping?
<Kyol> *** Morwen is now known as Pile_of_Rubble
<Fernbar> ... and Druidic
* SoiledDwarf drinks a potion of caffine.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> what are the available species, also?
<Fernbar> ... and wielding a club
<Leth^> rat
<Elkman> Hmm. Someone should volunteer to learn masonry.
<Leth^> big fucking rat with a 10 inch dick
<zompist> someone else answer kemlo's question, please
* Fernbar goes to George Mason U.
*** jacquilyn is now known as Elfstar
* babich wielding a zippo, goes to woship his fiendish master, Phillip-Morris
* Samwise learns masonry, then begins work on Great Wall and Pyramids
<Fernbar> human, halfling, dwarf, elf, half-elf, half-orc, lycanthrope, sheep, ...
<Leth^> sheep?
* Leth^ perks
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> no thanks, I just ate
<Burger> no thanks, I just had sex
<Leth^> don't forget 5/8 elf
<Fernbar> sqrt(2)/2 dwarf ...
<Elfstar> I don't remember what I am though.
<Elfstar> Just that I don't wanna be Debbie.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> eh, I'll stick with "Doberman in a man-suit"
<Burger> you could be a NotDebbie
<Elfstar> Nah, I was elfstar at the GTG.
* Fernbar casts Summon-Lawyer for Bard
<Elkman> zomp: If you do drawings of this, I should have antlers and an obviously fake mustache that makes me supposedly look Mexican.
<Elkman> Like a bad disguise.
* Fernbar makes a stonehenge out of Morwen
<Elfstar> If you do drawins of this, simply refer to Chick.com for inspiration.
<Burger> and don't forget the dappling
<zompist> still writing down info, sorry
<Leth> *** Elkman is now known as FritoBandito
<Fernbar> * Elkman appears on many South Of The Border billboards
*** Kyol is now known as God
<God> ...there we go.
* God stretches into the outfit.
<SoiledDwarf> ...of fuck.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> minute
*** Leth is now known as CapAlert
*** Mode change "+o God" on channel #spinnwebe by Fernbar
<Elfstar> Wow. Fernbar is so pwoerful he gives ops to god!
<zompist> babich, you playing? what are you again?
<Fernbar> no, just seemed appropriate
<God> God doesn't need ops. God has oper.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> etunim
<Elkman> Other than being low on hit points, I guess I'm OK.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> okay
<Burger> <-- ogre :)
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> zomp - "Stratford"
<fernbar> Actually, if we have a thief and a cook together, we should add a wife and a lover
<BlakDeath> I thought I killed enough people to advance a level last time?
*** Samwise is now known as Xengar
<babich> sects, lyes, and videotapes
<zompist> remember, everyone died but lore
<zompist> and you all killed lore at the pggtg
<zompist> are you still a raven, raven?
<BlakDeath> Oh, sure, count that against me.
<BlakDeath> Yes.
* fernbar buys avon products from the bard
<zompist> kemlo, you
<zompist> you're human?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> yes?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> can I stay with "Doberman in a man-suit?"
<fernbar> be a weredog
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> or pick something else?
<Elkman> A dog in a man suit? I didn't know there were reverse furries.
<zompist> it's not the same character, so you can change if you want
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> Hmmm....
<zompist> i'll put weredog unless you tell me otherwise
<Xengar> *There* dog. There castle.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> werecoyote?
<zompist> or Dog Furry
<Burger> me john, big tree!
<zompist> since you're not really lycanthropic
* fernbar reloads and snickers
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> anthropolycanic
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> coyote, not dog
<tieboy> KILL HACK LUNGE STAB PARRY STAPLE
<zompist> oh, right, risto wanted to be armed with a toothpick
<zompist> tie-o-rama: http://www.zompist.com/swdd.html
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> can I have a clockwork/solar-powered chainsaw?
<Burger> with a rancid bit of stuff on the end
<zompist> it's late medieval times, kemlo
<zompist> well, renaissance at most.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> okay, so just clockwork
<fernbar> so you can have a hang glider
<tieboy> okey-dokey
<Burger> i have more rancid stuff in my teeth, in case i fling what i have
<zompist> well, ok, but it's approximately the size of a house and takes ten men to operate
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> ah -
<tieboy> can I have an exploding scooter?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> a sawmill?
<Burger> how many ogres?
<zompist> so you might want to take along a quarterstaff or something
*** Elkman is now known as Ntilde
<zompist> is babich here?
<zompist> i have no babich data, or i lost it
<babich> here
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> only one weapon?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> no garotte?
<zompist> to start with, kemlo
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> oh, okay
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> hmmmm
<Elfstar> Have we started yet?
<zompist> heh. WORKING ON IT.
* Ntilde practices his obviously fake Mexican accent
<zompist> reload swdd.html, new guys, and tell me if i fucked up anything
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> a quarterstaff will do, I guess
* BlakDeath is good to go.
<Burger> why is samwise level 3?
<zompist> you'll soon find out.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> well, what are the other weapons?
<babich> can I use my car keys w/ plus 2 scratching
<Xengar> Because I'm cool.
<Burger> oh, and how's a raven have 3x my HP?
<Xengar> You're not that good a cook.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> and I'm a *coyote*, not a dog.
<Ntilde> A raven is harder to hit.
<zompist> she's a bitchen raven
<Burger> they loved me at shoney's
<babich> what do I have to do with raven?
*** Fernbar is now known as roadrunner
<roadrunner> ./kick #spinnwebe Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo beep beep!
*** roadrunner is now known as Fernbar
<zompist> babs, i'm still missing a class and race and weapon
<Fernbar> Nt: that's armor class, not hit points
<zompist> ok, maybe BABICH will have a CHARACTER by then
<babich> oh...un....chaotically nuetral, halfelf, sword
<Burger> maybe my THAC0 is really good
<Fernbar> bab: does that mean you're a Fighter?
<zompist> class?
<babich> sorry, rebooting my -3 webserber
<babich> yes...IM a fighter
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> zomp, what are the other types of weapons?
<babich> definately not a lover
<zompist> don't remember. :)
<zompist> someone else can answer that
*** Leth has joined #spinnwebe
*** Leth is now known as Capalert
* Capalert returns from his meditation
<Ntilde> Try a long bone or something a dog would have.
<zompist> i just need a name now, babs
<zompist> ntilde: heh
<Fernbar> catapult, rocks, frisbeeofdeath
<babich> flippy
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> (pronounced kah-PALE-urt)
<BlakDeath> Nylabone.
*** babich is now known as flippy
*** flippy is now known as babflippyich
<BlakDeath> +2 Toy of Squeeking.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> a human femur
<babflippyich> (squeek)
<zompist> that's pretty cool, actually
<Fernbar> Today we attack Lord Osis
<zompist> stratford and his mighty femur of death!
<zompist> of a dead guy, at least!
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> a *reinforced* human femur
<Fernbar> Prepare to meet thigh doom!
* Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo smites Fernbar across the head
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> Do not mock bards and poets, for they will hit you while thinking up good insults
<zompist> wow, this is going to be quite a crew
<Burger> It is dark here, there could be a grue
* zompist doubles all the monsters
*** Leth^ has joined #spinnwebe
<Leth^> godDAMNIT
<zompist> how many leths do we have now?
<Leth^> who knows. We breed like flies on rotting meat
<Burger> too many
<Burger> not enough
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> think Furplay, only as a serious threat.
* zompist is under the impression that all those darn characters are ok
<zompist> on to episode 31!
<Fernbar> The Phantom Menace
*** Leth^ is now known as Capalert^
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> can I have *two* human femurs?
<Ntilde> I can't be displayed in plain ASCII, butI'll show up in ISO8859-1.
<zompist> first thing: the old characters have to decide how to divide up the gnome's loot.
<zompist> (before they meet any new ones)
<Fernbar> and then the young ones beat them up
<Burger> they should keep it to entice new members
<zompist> and despoil their women
<Fernbar> after all, nothing worse than a spoiled woman
<Burger> especially people who will be cooking gnome stew tonight
<SoiledDwarf> soiled woman?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> I want the gnome`s femur.
<Capalert^> well, I'll hold the scroll, since it's a priesty thing and all
<SoiledDwarf> what was left?
<Elfstar> I'm a fighter, I should get the sword.
<Elfstar> Unless it's not as good as the sword I've already got.
<zompist> it's better, elfstar-- it's +1
<Elfstar> Yay!
<Elfstar> I get a shiny new sword.
<Fernbar> I got a brand new key
* Elfstar holds it lovingly.
<Elfstar> Pretty.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> I want his Gnomish/Whateverourlanguageis dictionary
<Capalert^> and I'll take the flail too, to be greedy
<zompist> anyone want the flail?
* Elfstar is a very imposing fighter.
<SoiledDwarf> me!
<Ntilde> back -- anything left?
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> what is our language?
<zompist> capalert, don't be so greedy.
<BlakDeath> Stratfod : you aren't even there yet.
<Capalert^> oh fine then
<zompist> verdurian, kemlo
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> I want his Gnomish/Verdurian dictionary
* Capalert^ mutters "Friggin vows of poverty"
<BlakDeath> zomp : at least I assume us newbies aren't there yet?
<Ntilde> I'll take the resurrection spell.
<zompist> soiled wants the flail... anyone gonna fight him for it?
<Elfstar> You can't have it, Kemlo, you aren't there.
<Fernbar> that's why leth was cloning himself -- to get more shares
<Capalert> nah
* SoiledDwarf growls.
<zompist> blak: yup, you're hiding in the featureless void
<Capalert> he can take it
<Elfstar> Capalaert already has the spel..
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> will someone grab it for me, then?
<Ntilde> Oops. I missed where Capalert grabbed the spell.
<Capalert> it's a priesty thing anyhow. You heathens can't use it
<zompist> flail... going once.... going twice...
<Capalert> take it dwarf
<Capalert> take it and be done with it
<Ntilde> I'll take it.
<Elfstar> Yeah, give it to the damned dwarf.
* SoiledDwarf takes it.
<SoiledDwarf> fuckers.
* Capalert reads up on his curses
<SoiledDwarf> i was getting coffe..
<SoiledDwarf> e.
<zompist> you can always fight each other for it
<zompist> hee hee
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> where am I right now�
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> ?
<BlakDeath> Fight! Fight!
<BlakDeath> Not Here.
<BlakDeath> You are Elsewhere(tm).
* babflippyich is battling a dirtsnake behind a tree should anyone need him
<Burger> how do you make a umm...
<Capalert> (all rights reserved)
<Burger> that thing on the end of 'now'
<Fernbar> Let's get ready to RRRRRRRRRumblllleeee!
<Elfstar> Trapped in a gelatinous cube, kemlo, get that through your head.
<zompist> oa capital E?
<zompist> ok... you
<Fernbar> *** Kemlo is now known as BillCosby
<zompist> you've just dispatched the gnome and looted his muscular but awfully small body.
<Bard-of-Stratford-on-Kemlo> Elfstar, no, that's another character.
* Capalert wonders how the gnome would have looked in an altar boy outfit. Alas...missed opportunity
<BlakDeath> yeah, that was his cleric.

Heather Garvey / Raven / raven@xnet.com

I want to submit a log!